Summary: Begins with the missing scene from 1x19, just after LoVe's kiss, and before she breaks up with Leo. AU from there.
A/N:Ok, so we've now made our way into the start of 1.21. Just so you know, I won't be redoing the flashbacks word for word here,. It would take forever, and really, it's easier to gloss over them. I will touch on all of them in some way, though. Thanks to my muses, lex and forcedmovement. Italics are VMVO and feedback is muchly appreciated. Also, many lines of dialogue were double checked with the VM transcripts at www twiztv com.
Logan leaned against the hood of his Xterra, watching as his classmates walked by. He could hear the whispers as they passed, knowing everyone was reporting on the juiciest gossip to hit Neptune's halls since he and Veronica had started dating.
Apparently, their break up would be more talked about than their get together. He watched her approach the school rapidly, eyes darting around. She hadn't seen him, and he took the opportunity to hurry after her.
"Veronica!" He said loudly, clearly hoping that she would turn and answer him. Veronica closed her eyes against his voice, barely pausing in her haste. "Will you stop for two seconds?" Logan asked, grabbing her arm and whirling her around. They're eyes met and he dropped his grip on her arm when he saw the pain there. She took that cue to leave, rushing off into the school building, praying he wouldn't follow her. Behind her she heard Weevil talking to him.
"You see, when they run away like that, it's kind of a hint they're not interested." Weevil said. The voices faded away behind her, but the whispers about her and Logan picked up speed as those who witnessed her flee from him spread the word. She ducked into the bathroom, and then went into a stall, ignoring the looks from the girls inside.
The bell rang and the bathroom emptied out. It wasn't till Veronica was certain she was alone that she let the tears fall.
Thoughts of who had raped her clouded her mind as Veronica showered. No matter what the evidence said, no matter that Tad had no reason to lie and that Logan had admitted that he'd been in possession of GHB, she couldn't quite make herself believe that he'd been the one. Not after what they'd shared the last couple of weeks.
There's just one problem. I can't seem to get rid of this niggling doubt that keeps repeating 'Logan was at the party. Logan had the drug. Logan hated me.'
She slipped into a cami and pj pants and tied her terry cloth robe tightly across her middle. The apartment was dark, and she preferred it that way. Her dad was still out on the search for Duncan, and she was glad of that too.
There's no way he could see me like this and not suspect something was going on. And there's no way that I could tell him.
Backup growled, alerting her that there was someone standing on the porch. She glanced through the blinds and sighed.
Logan.
"I'm not leaving." Logan's voice was muffled as it traveled through the door. She steeled herself and reluctantly opened the door.
"Don't do this." She said, avoiding his gaze.
"Don't do what?" Logan repeated. "Ask for some answers?"
"Just go." She told him. His demeanor changed to angry as he leaned against the wall of her building.
"What did I do, Veronica?" He asked. "Can you just tell me that, so I can –apologize or explain?"
""Explain." She snagged onto that last word and tried to steady her shaking voice. "Ok. Explain to me why you were the one with GHB the night of Shelly Pomroy's party when someone drugged and raped me." Veronica dared a glance at his eyes. She watched as realization sunk in and saw a pain that mirrored her own. "Explaination? Apology?" She asked angrily.
"You were raped?" He was in denial.
Or he's doing one hell of an acting job.
Logan moved like he was going to put his arms around her. She could feel her resolve crumbling.
"Okay, don't! Seriously!" She held up a hand to ward him off.
One feel of his arms, and I'll be right back where I started.
"What happened to you?" He wanted to know, stepping back..
"You tell me." She choked out. All Logan's confusion was cleared up with that statement, and he realized now what she'd been to upset and scared to say right out.
"Wait a minute! You think..." He trailed off.
"I was told...that you were the one with the drugs." Veronica said. "And the other day, on the boat...you told me that you had them. What else am I supposed to think, Logan?"
"Ok, yeah, I got some Liquid X when I was in Tijuana with Luke and Sean." Logan finally told her. "We were just going to have some fun." He snapped.
"Fun like sex with unconscious people fun?" Blunt yes, but she had to know.
"Fun like go to a rave fun." Logan practically whispered.
"Oh, okay." Veronica shot back. "You've convinced me. Bygones."
"What can I do?" Logan pleaded, though he sounded angry as well. "What can I do to make it better?"
"I'm going to find whoever did this to me, and I'm going to make them pay." She promised him. "Even if it was you." His eyes widened at her tone, taking in the expression of resolve on her face.
"Veronica, I swear I would never..." Logan started. "Let me help you figure it out." He waited for her reply.
"Sorry." She apologized sharply. "I have to go throw up now." He stared at she slammed the door in his face.
Logan approached Meg as Veronica walked away.
"Logan, hey." Meg greeted him with a worried glance.
"What did Veronica ask you about?" Logan wanted to know.
"Shelly's party last year." Meg answered, putting a book into her bag.
"And?" Logan motioned for her to continue.
"I told her that you and some of the other guys though salt licks were a good idea." Meg snapped. Logan looked upset, but resigned.
"Thanks." He told her, starting to walk off.
"Hey, is everything ok?" Meg called out. He gave her a wave as she stared after him.
"Hey, honey." Veronica heard her dad's voice over the phone line.
"Hey, how's the search?' She asked, walking outside to the courtyard.
"Jackpot." Keith crowed. "We'll be landing in a few hours. I'll call you from home."
"Bye, Dad." She hung up and stared around the courtyard.
Meg's information about the salt licks doesn't really tell me anything, except that men are pigs when they're drunk. Still, if I knew who had saved me...
She spotted Luke alone at one of the lunch tables and hurried over towards him.
"Remember when I saved you from drug dealers and said I might call upon a favor someday?" She asked. Luke looked up, surprised.
"You didn't say that." He answered.
"It was implied." She replied, sitting down across from him.
"Ok, what can I do for you?" Luke chuckled. Logan approached them slowly, sitting the next table. He met Luke's gaze and gestured for him to keep talking to Veronica so that he could hear.
"Nice." She snarked. "I heard that you went to TJ with Sean and Logan and scored some GHB."
"Wow, that was like, ah, that was like a year ago." Luke answered. "I don't have any now."
"And I was gonna spike your juice box and have my way with you." Veronica said, her voice light. Luke laughed again, and from where he was listening, even Logan cracked a smile. "What'd you do with it?"
"Nothing." Luke replied. Veronica gave him a dubious glance. "Honestly. I didn't do anything. I gave it away."
"Who'd you give it to?" Veronica wanted to know.
"Dick Casablancas." Luke said, and then launched into an explanation of what led up to his handing Dick the GHB. Logan stilled, trying to hear every word. Veronica's thougghts were churning as Luke talked.
Could Dick have...
"So Dick drugged Madison?" Veronica clarified.
"Well, he asked for two doses, and I, I just figured he was going to take one and ask her to take the other one." Luke stammered out. "I'm pretty sure she didn't though."
"How do you know that?" Veronica asked.
"You're not going to like this part." Luke replied, and told Veronica about Madison defacing her car.
Slut. Abel, it should have been her. Two lines that have been haunting me for a year and a half.
"As I understand it, GHB is supposed to make you nicer." Luke finished up, while Veronica tried not to let the tears she was holding back spill over.
"Why would Madison do that?" Veronica thought out loud.
"I don't know." Luke shrugged. "Cause she's a horrible human being?" Veronica didn't reply, standing up instead. Logan got up too, standing in front of her.
"What do you want, Logan?" She snapped, already upset at what she'd just heard. Luke stared at them with interest.
"Veronica..." He began.
"Just leave me alone." She brushed past him, and he was left standing there, Luke staring him.
Weevil caught up with her as she walked back inside. She gave him a glance, heading down the hallway to her locker.
"What?" She finally said, after he'd been silent for awhile.
"What exactly did Echolls do?" Weevil asked. "I've been hearing some things, V, and they ain't pretty."
"I don't need you to beat him up, Weevil, just keep him away from me while I check into something." Veronica explained.
"Did he hurt you?" Veronica froze, textbook in hand.
"I don't know." She told him quietly.
"How do you not know?" Weevil demanded, angry now.
"Because I don't remember, ok?" Veronica cried, tears welling up again. She spotted Madison ducking into the bathroom over his shoulder, and shoved her book into her bag. "I gotta go." He watched as she disappeared into the bathroom, shaking his head.
Veronica sat on the counter of the bathroom, thinking over everything she'd learned so far.
Logan and the guys thought body shots would be a good idea, but someone saved me, but Meg didn't know who. I also apparently made out with Dick and Casey, which, has to be after I was drugged, since I don't remember it.
She shuddered.
Thank God.
She hopped down from the counter and started pacing.
Luke said he gave his GHB to Dick, so that he and Madison could use it. Madison clearly didn't, but Dick probably did.
"So where does that leave me?" She said aloud.
"Needing help." Logan replied. She met his gaze in the mirror as she faced the sink, noting that he was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed over his chest.
"I don't want or need your help, Logan." Veronica told him. "What I want is for you to leave me alone."
"Do you really think that I could do something like that to you?" Logan asked.
"I don't know what to think." Veronica answered him honestly. "I know how you feel about me now, at least, I thought I did." She said. "And I know what you felt about me then."
"I'll admit that I was angry with you then." Logan conceded, shoving his hands in pockets. "But I wouldn't..."
"Enough to rape me?" Her voice was whisper quiet. "You weren't just angry with me, Logan. You hated me."
"We've been going out for weeks, Veronica." Logan practically shouted. "And you still don't trust me?"
"I trust myself." Veronica replied.
"Did I ever try to force you to do something you didn't want to do?" He questioned her bluntly. After a moment, she shook her head.
"No." She finally said.
"Then why won't you let me help you now?" He wanted to know.
"Some things a girl just has to do for herself." She answered, and walked out of the bathroom.