Chapter 2: Florence
She couldn't remember when she'd first noticed Severus Snape, when she'd first noticed how the Marauders picked on him, but it was some time last year. Everyone says Gryffindors are so brave, but last year the Marauders only dared to pick on Severus when he was alone, when he wasn't with his friends Rosier and Wilkes. They're not so bad this year, well of course James is going out with Lily now, and Lily and Severus are friends, they do a lot of extra NEWT credit work in Potions together, and Lily likes Severus. She'd thought, yes, James has grown up a lot since he started going out with Lily, she's such a good influence on him, he's stopped being quite such a jerk. I mean, he's nice looking and he can be quite pleasant and he is a really good Quidditch player, but he used to be such a pain, always fiddling with his hair and showing off.
And she'd thought, it's so unfair, I liked Severus first, and now lots of girls are looking at him and talking about him, they sometimes even ask him to help them with their Potions homework! And that Mehitabel, it's one boy after another with her, she'd looked like she was interested in Severus a couple of weeks ago, thank Merlin she's back with Sirius Black now, they deserve each other. She'd remembered when Sirius looked down her robes at The Three Broomsticks, he'd grinned, and then he'd leaned down and kissed her, he'd stunk of firewhisky, and he wasn't taking no for an answer, she'd had to slap his face. Sirius is so handsome, he thinks a girl should swoon if he so much as looks at her, and ... well, these pureblood boys can be a bit funny about Muggle-born and half-blood girls, they think that because women don't wear robes in the Muggle world, they're easy.
She'd remembered how her Muggle mother rolls her eyes at the robed women in Diagon Alley when they go to pick up her school supplies, audibly asks why they're not all wearing a burkah to match their ankle length robes. Her mother thinks the wizarding world is medieval, although she's tried to make her understand, witches aren't oppressed. Sure, Millicent Bagnold is the first witch ever to become Minister for Magic, but lots of girls play Quidditch, and it's a really tough physical game ... and there are female Aurors, like Amelia Bones. Admittedly Amelia Bones has very, very short hair and wears a monocle, but there was a big article in the Daily Prophet about her appointment as Deputy Head of the Auror Office. And Amelia Bones is a Hufflepuff! Her father had been so proud, told her that Amelia Bones was a great witch, the most gifted witch Hufflepuff had produced in generations, but her mother had just snorted and said that one swallow doesn't make a summer.
It's tough being a half-blood, her father works hard at managing being a wizard in the Muggle world, and he's very understanding of her position, but nevertheless it's difficult living half in the Muggle world and half in the wizarding world. Her Muggle friends think she goes to some wacky progressive school chosen by her mother, but the truth couldn't be further from that, Hogwarts isn't medieval but it is a bit ... old-fashioned. And Muggle clothing is absolutely banned, even for visits to Hogsmeade, and you get odd looks from the purebloods if you don't put your school robes on as soon as the Hogwarts Express leaves King's Cross.
She'd thought, Severus is a Slytherin pureblood, and some of those old pureblood families are really horrible about mixed marriages between Muggles and wizards, they despise half-bloods, so I don't suppose he'll ever look at me ... but matches between Slytherins and Hufflepuffs aren't unknown, look at Barty Crouch, his father is Slytherin and his mother is Hufflepuff, and Lily had been encouraging. Lily had told her, "Look, don't get the wrong idea, I'm not saying that Severus is a nice person, but he's not as bad as people make out. The reason why he's so interested in the Dark Arts is that he wants to be a Gringotts curse breaker when he finishes school! And he's really shy, he has no idea how fanciable he is ... a girl would have to make the first move."
So she'd started hanging around the Library, near the Restricted Section, hoping that Severus would notice her, maybe even talk to her, and he had noticed her – he'd looked down her robes one day, and he'd blushed, it was so sweet, he was nothing like that awful, arrogant Sirius Black. And since that day he'd often given her a quick glance, and she'd looked back.
And last Thursday afternoon, Remus Lupin had come into the Library and asked her where Lily was. She knew who he was, a seventh year Gryffindor prefect and one of the Marauders, he was nice enough but not that memorable, and he was sick a lot, too, he was always in the Hospital Wing. He'd asked her where Lily was, what a silly question, Lily would be at the Gryffindor Quidditch practice, watching James. She'd noticed how Severus had scowled at the sight of Lupin, and she'd felt a spasm of anger, Lupin is a prefect but he never stops his friends from ganging up on Severus ... and then she'd thought, this can't go on, it's now or never, and she'd found the courage to ask Severus for help with her Potions assignment, she has to write three feet of parchment on the uses of asphodel.
He'd looked down his long nose at her for a moment, and then he'd rattled off heaps of useful information, and without even looking at a book! "The leaves of asphodel or Asphodelus Ramosus are toxic but the roots are used as one of the principal ingredients in a complex potion known as the Draught of Living Death. Asphodel also has many additional uses: it is used in many healing potions especially as a restorative agent for cuts and burns as the root can be ground into a fine powder and mixed with a liquid base to create a thick substance that is then spread over the injured areas to prevent infections and reduce the pain; asphodel leaves are used, despite their poisonous qualities, as a hallucinogenic in Ethiopia; in China, Muggles add the roots to facial cream as it helps to remove blemishes and gives the skin a fresh, soft and supple feeling; the roots can also be fermented to create a very potent alcoholic beverage, or so I've been informed; and finally the most common place to find asphodel is in Muggle church graveyards as it was a custom to plant them on fresh graves as the flowers were thought to be food for the dead."
She'd looked admiringly into his eyes and she'd thought, gosh, he has eyes like a Hippogriff, and they really are black, they're not dark brown or dark blue, they're black, I can't tell the difference between the pupil and the iris. He'll never be handsome, not with that nose, but he's more than handsome, he's beautiful. And she'd leaned across the desk and kissed him, very tentatively, she'd just let her lips graze his, but he hadn't needed a second invitation, he'd kissed her back, and very enthusiastically. And then he'd asked whether she wanted to come down to the greenhouses, he'll show her where there's a patch of asphodel growing behind Greenhouse Three.
She'd thought, I can't believe this ... it's a beautiful spring day, and Severus has kissed me and he's asked me to go out for a walk with him, this is so perfect! On the way down to the greenhouses she'd chattered away, told him why she was so interested in Potions, she wants to apprentice as a Healer at St Mungo's, OK, it's kind of a traditional Hufflepuff thing to do but wizards could learn a lot from Muggle medicine. Immunisation, for example – it's unknown in the wizarding world, which is why dragon pox still kills so many little children and old people. And she'd told him about her mother, she's a university lecturer, in semiotics. He'd looked blank when she told him the joke - what do you get when you cross a semiotician with a gangster? An offer you can't understand! And then she'd realised that he probably didn't know what a university was, let alone anything about semiotics ... and she'd started to explain about Muggle universities, but he'd said, "I took an OWL in Muggle Studies."
She'd thought, who would have believed that – Severus is actually curious about Muggles, and he's listening to me, he seems really interested, not like most boys, they just want to talk about themselves ... and when they were round the back of Greenhouse Three and out of sight of the castle, he had been no more interested in the asphodel than she was. They'd kissed for a while and then he'd slipped his hand under her robes but he hadn't tried to unfasten them, not like that Muggle boy at her cousin's birthday party who had tried to take her blouse off, and she'd thought, he really is shy, this won't go any further unless I do something ... and she'd unfastened her robes, and then her bra, it just seemed so right. And she'd touched him, she'd never touched a boy like that before ... and one thing had led to another, he was so gentle and considerate, and then so passionate, and she'd known, with absolute certainty, that they'd always be together.
Afterwards, she'd cuddled up to him, he'd held her, and she'd whispered, "I love you." He'd put his hand over her mouth, and she'd understood – words weren't necessary, words just spoiled everything. Of course she loved him, she'd loved him for months ... and he must know that, she wouldn't be lying in the asphodel patch with him if she didn't love him.
He'd held her hand as they made their way back to the castle – until he'd spotted Lupin hanging around, she could have smacked Lupin, why did he have to ruin everything? She wouldn't have minded walking up the steps of the Entrance Hall hand-in-hand with Severus, she was proud to be with him, he's so clever and talented, he's going to be a great curse-breaker, and underneath the prickly exterior, when you get close to him, he's so different, he's really sweet. Damn Lupin, Severus is so wary of the Marauders, and she can understand that, they'd tease him about having a girlfriend, especially a half-blood Hufflepuff girlfriend.
The next few days had been heavenly, he was so eager to meet her on the Astronomy Tower in the evenings, and she'd realised that he didn't want to talk, it was enough afterwards for him to just to hold her, enough to hold his warm body against hers, and to wrap his cloak around them both. She usually didn't get back to the Hufflepuff Common Room until it was nearly midnight, her friends were going mad trying to guess who she was seeing, but their romance was still a secret so she'd just smiled and refused to say anything, except that it is not Sirius Black.
This morning everything had gone wrong, horribly wrong, dreadfully wrong ... as wrong as it could go. She'd come up to the Great Hall for breakfast, a little late, looked hopefully over at the Slytherin table, but Severus wasn't there, well he hardly ate breakfast, normally he just had a piece of toast. Her friends had gathered around her, looking anxious, and then they'd told her, told her what Bertha Jorkins was saying about her. She'd started to cry, it was awful what Bertha was saying, it might be true but it was awful of her to say it, she's such a dreadful gossip. She'd remembered the horrible things that Bertha said last year about that Ravenclaw prefect, the girl who hadn't come back to Hogwarts after the Christmas holidays - and now everyone was looking at her the way they'd looked at that poor girl, the Slytherins were openly smirking, the Ravenclaws seemed troubled, and the Gryffindors looked disgusted. She'd thought, Severus isn't going to like this, he's so proud and sensitive, he might lose his temper and hex somebody and then he'll be in trouble. And what if the teachers find out, they might owl my parents, Professor Dumbledore might have already owled my parents ... they'd better not try and interfere, I'll be seventeen in a few months, I'll be of age, and then they won't be able to tell me what to do, I'll run away to be with Severus in London if they try to stop me seeing him.
When Severus walked into the Great Hall, he hadn't even looked at her, did he know? Why hadn't he come over to speak to her, to show everyone that they didn't care about Bertha's nasty gossip? Then the post had arrived and there was a letter from her parents but she hadn't dared to even open it. Severus had got a letter, too, delivered by a magnificent eagle owl, someone recognised it as Lucius Malfoy's owl. He'd torn open the letter, scanned it, and then he'd come stalking over the Hufflepuff table, grabbed her by the arm so tightly it had hurt, and he'd said things, things she couldn't even remember, it was the tone of voice that hurt more than the words, and the awful look on his face. Then he'd let go of her and spun around with his wand raised, and she'd thought he was going to hex Lupin, in the Great Hall, right under Professor McGonagall's nose, and she'd whispered, "No!" Lupin had said, "Leave Florence alone, Severus, she didn't say anything, it was Bertha Jorkins," and then Severus had stormed off, looking as if he was ready to kill Bertha.
And now she's in the Hospital Wing, she's been in the Hospital Wing all morning, Madam Pomfrey has given her a soothing draught of some kind, and she's cried so much that there are no more tears left. She feels strange ... it's hard to describe, it's as if someone has taken a Muggle vacuum cleaner and sucked out all her insides, leaving her completely empty. There's just an emptiness, a gnawing emptiness, and she can't feel anything, just numbness.
She'd heard Professor McGonagall speaking softly to someone on the other side of the curtains that have been drawn around her bed, she'd recognised Bertha's voice, and realised that Bertha was also in the Hospital Wing, and she'd been afraid, what has Severus done to Bertha? And thank god Professor Sprout is away for a week, if she was here she'd be fussing dreadfully. Professor Sprout is lovely, but the last thing she needs is her Head of House fussing and asking questions and insisting on owling her parents.
Thank Merlin, Madam Pomfrey is telling Bertha that she's fine, she can leave the Hospital Wing, it doesn't sound too serious, but now Professor McGonagall is telling Bertha that the Headmaster wants to see her! Oh no, it's all going to come out now ... Severus might even be expelled and that's not fair, it's not right, it wasn't his fault, it wasn't wrong, when two people love each other it isn't wrong.
Once Bertha has gone, Madam Pomfrey pulls back the curtains, feels her forehead, and gives her some more of the soothing draught, and she dozes for a while ... and when she wakes up, the Headmaster himself is sitting next to her bed. He explains that, in the absence of her Head of House, it is incumbent on him to concern himself with her welfare.
She asks, "Professor Dumbledore, have you owled my parents?"
He replies, "If I owled the parents every time a pair of my students kissed each other behind the greenhouses, the air would be thick with owls."
She's relieved – he doesn't know - or if he does, he's not going to do anything about it ...
She asks, "Sir, is Severus in trouble?"
Professor Dumbledore suddenly looks sad, anxious, and somehow older, and he repeats her words, "Is Severus in trouble?" Then he smiles, pats her hand, and tells her, "Definitely! Mr Snape will be serving a double detention with Rubeus Hagrid for hexing Bertha Jorkins."
It's only detention, that's nothing! But the tears start again, even though she'd thought there were no tears left ... she's almost gasping aloud with the pain, the pain of her heart tearing into rags, because it's all over, Severus won't want to meet her on the Astronomy Tower after dinner again, not after what he said to her in the Great Hall.
Professor Dumbledore is looking concerned, he wants to know if she's all right, is she ready to go back to the Hufflepuff common room? And she thinks, yes, I am ready ... as ready as I'm ever going to be, I'm OK, just some cramps, I must be getting my period early, and I might as well face the music, face all the horrible, angry things they're going to say about Severus - the whole of Hufflepuff will hate him now as well as the whole of Gryffindor, except Lily. Oh Bertha, why did you have to do it? Why did you have to snoop on us, and why did you have to tell everyone? If there's a god, if there's any justice, one day your snooping and spying will get you into real trouble, I really hope so, because what you did was really bad, it was cruel. I could forgive you for hurting me, but I can't forgive you for hurting Severus.
Peanuts107: if you're reading this, I lifted the stuff about asphodel from "The Way of the Badger" – I hope you don't mind. I would have asked permission but I couldn't access your e-mail address.