Chapter 14: Guilt Trip

"Help! Help! Come quick! Help!"

Muffled yells make themselves known through the foyer. What could he be screaming about so early? I yawn and rub my eyes. I still feel nauseous... ugh. I sat up last night hunched over the toilet. Crack! Crack! Crack! Over and over in my head, the sound of mother's bones snapping. I wretch. Padma looks at me with distaste. I glare at her weakly. Sunder Lal is standing beside her as we all walk to Pip's room. The cries become more urgent.

"Help! Kim! Please!"

I walk faster. What is wrong with him? It's not like he's never seen a dead body. I wretch again. My own thoughts are sickening me. Padma sighs.

"Are you alright?"

She doesn't care.

"No."

I retort. Padma sniffs. I pull aside the tapestry, open the door and crawl into the passageway. Pip's hollering gets louder. I clamber to the door. Chain one, chain two, deadbolt one, two, three, four, five, six, chain locks one and two. The door swings open. Pip jumps and hugs my shoulders tightly.

"I'm so sorry!"

He sobs into my jacket. What? What's wrong with him? He's done this so many times before! I pretend not to know what's going on.

"What is it?"

I look up and see mother's bloody hand. Pip reaches up and pulls my face into his shoulder, so that I could not see my mother's cadaver. I reach up and grab the back of his shirt. I don't feel good again. My whole body shakes as Padma and Sunder Lal back up out of the tunnel. I let go of Pip and he releases me, confused. I think he expected me to cry heartbroken into his shoulder. I back out of the tunnel as fast as I can. Pip pulls himself out of the room. I run to my room and lock the door. Why is he so broken up over that dumb bitch? Augh! He's too sensitive! I hate sensitive people! Goddamn it! He's such a wimp! He kills people every night! Why is she any different? I practically tear my hair out trying to answer my own questions. I sit on my bed and pull my knees up to my chest. God dammit! I hate this! Why does he have to be so... different? Does he like seeing my mind twist and writhe in utter perplexity? AUGH!

It's been two days. For the most part I've stayed in my room... but I'm rather worried about Pip. He isn't in the kitchen. Nor is he in his room. Or any of the other places I've looked. He's good at hiding...

"...Feel bad about it, though..."

Where'd that come from? I look right and left, up and down.

"No!"

It came from through the wall...

"Eat, darling!"

I press my ear against the wall.

"... Please!"

I slide my ear along to the edge of the wall and notice a door I'd never seen before. Here... I open the door. Behind it is a plain room with simple light colored wooden floors and white walls. Pip lies on the floor in the center of the room, Padma is leaning over him.

"Kim!"

Pip almost sits up but falls back down again. Padma runs up to me with a pleading expression,

"Please! Get him to eat something!"

She kind of hugs me and trots out of the room, shutting the door carefully behind her. I look over at Pip. He's lying pitifully on the floor. Jeez... does he always act like this? It was just another whore! I walk over and sit next to him. I heave a quiet sigh. I don't know what to say. I feel weird in this awkward pause! I look over at Pip; he's shifted over, now on his side facing me. His eyes are focusing on the floor though. I lean over,

"It's really not all bad."

His head snaps up and he looks at me. I try to smile, I really do. But it just comes out as a lopsided frown. Next thing I know, boom! Pip scoops me up into his embrace and hugs me tight. I hear him sniffle over my shoulder,

"You are so kind to me!"

I feel weird. I'm on Pip's lap and he's hugging me... I brush some of his hair away from his ear with my nose and whisper,

"I'm sorry..."

He sniffs again and pulls out of the hug, giving me a puzzled look,

"You have nothing to be sorry about! I can't believe I did this to you!"

I sigh and manage a chuckle.

"Y'know... when I... pushed her, I didn't ever think of how you'd feel... I most certainly didn't expect such a... strong reaction..."

"What are you saying?"

I smile half-heartedly. Pip's face contorts into the most shocked expression.

"I didn't think you'd get so upset from just killing another whore."

He gapes at me. I notice his breath is getting heavier and quicker. He looks away.

"You... pushed her? How could you? Why?"

Pip looks back up at me, he has a sorrowful face.

"Easily," I boast, "I just pushed her. And you know why."

His expression changes rapidly to extreme anger with every word I say. What did I do? He hated her too! He throws me violently from his lap. I fall hard on my butt. He jumps up and yells furiously at me,

"You made me kill your mother? You made me!"

I've never seen him this way! He's pissed! I stand up to look him in the eye.

"But-!"

He cuts me off with a slap. I touch my face gingerly. Ow!

"You don't know how much I'd give to even meet my birth mother! But unfortunately she killed herself so that's not possible! But you! You had a mother! You had her and you took advantage of her! How could you?"

Now I'm getting pissed.

"You wouldn't understand! I lived with her my whole life with that... that bitch and what do I have to show for it? Hm? Nothing! I am shit poor! If you knew how I felt... if you knew... you'd have done the same!"

"Never would I kill my mother! That's parricide!"

"God! Why do you care so much Pip? She was a drunk, a whore, and a bitch!"

"That's no excuse to drag others into your problems!"

"You brought yourself into it! Don't give me that bullshit! You brought it on yourself when you killed her! It's not my fault you go crazy at night!"

Pip steps back, he seems hurt and offended. Good.

"Y'know what? I wish you weren't the other Key!"

Oh, that's mature. I'll never stoop to that childish-

"Yeah? Well, me too!"

Ok, that was immature. Auuugh! I turn on my heel and stomp out the door. I stomp to the kitchen. Pip is being such a little bitch! Padma skips towards me, a cheery tone in her voice,

"So he's going to eat, yes?"

"I don't care if he never eats! I hope he dies!"

Padma scoffs at me,

"I knew he wouldn't eat when you asked!"

I grind my teeth.

"Rot in hell!"

"Oh, Vishnu! If you hate it so much here, you can go back to your nothing life with nobody."

She giggles. I slam my fist on the table and storm off upstairs. I grab my things my few shirts, my two pairs of jeans, and stuff the violently into my only backpack. Padma that slut! Pip that asshole! Dammit! I see the sketchbook Pip gave me, now brimming with drawings, on the nightstand. I spit on it and leave.