A Series Of Ron-Fortunate Events: Chapter 3
By S-Chrome

Disclaimer: Dees-claimer? We don' need no stinkin' disclaimer, man. Besides, it's been mentioned at least twice already. But Ron, and the other bit players, who are frustrated after making three appearances in three weeks, are property of Disney. They really are!

A/N: Like the first two chapters, these scenes do not occur in any order.

11: Retribution

Ron Stoppable was on the run. How in the heck was he supposed to pay for just strolling in the hallways? Darn bullies... Always making fun of him. Doing mean things to him.

'And darn Kim for not being here today.' Ron mused. 'She would've protected me. She always does. She's like Superman... except she's a girl.'

As the young man quickened his pace, he found that escaping the hallway loiterers that tormented him were just about impossible. Just as he turned the corner, he was accosted by two of the mentioned thugs.

"Ahhh! I mean... Hey guys. Nice day, eh?" Ron asked with the look of genuine terror on his face.

"Humph." One of them, a burly teen with black hair said. "You ain't pay up for walking our halls for this week."

"Yeah." The other, a smaller, but tough looking teen said in agreement. "What do you have to say before we make our 'collection'?"

Ron was sick of this. For crying out loud, the football team cleaned him out for being in their locker room three days ago! Stupid possessive ruffians...

"As a matter of fact, I do." Ron answered darkly. It was now or never for the oft-tormented, socially awkward teenager. Taking a deep breath as best he could. He arched back a fist as far as he could, let out a wildman shriek...

...and...

Began to run all over again.

The Ron Factor had darn well better come through this time.

12: What Dreams Might Be Made Of

Ron Stoppable had a routine he stuck with every day. After school, he would throw his books on the living room floor, sit in front of the couch and watch TV until dinner time. Whatever time was between dinner and going to sleep was the time for homework. Problem was this particular night before that he stayed up to do homework.

He would pay for it the morning after.

"So if you want to find the nature of the roots. You must find the discriminant. Which is formula..." Ron listened to the oh so boring mathematics teacher drone on about who knows what. In Ron's eyes, there was nothing fun about school. With the exception of Home EC. That was the only subject that was good in school.

It was probably no surprise that Home EC. was the only class he got close to an 'A' on.

His eyes extremely heavy from the homework he did, or at least tried to do the night before, Ron's head hit the desk slowly and he began to fall asleep.

Ron woke up to a scream. A female scream. Something was amiss around here. Taking a giant leap from his resting spot, he began to run in the direction of the scream. The scream led him to an abandoned warehouse.

"Someone help me... Please!" The voice said. Ron kept running toward the voice. He ran left, then right, and then finally found the product of the screaming.

Was that Bonnie?

And was that... A monkey attacking her?

Ron always had a healthy fear of monkeys. He also had a healthy fear of Bonnie. There was only one sensible option.

Save Bonnie.

Zooming into action, Ron quickly grabbed the ape off of the terrified girl. The ape, angered that he couldn't get his prey, lunged wildly at Ron. The blond matched blow for blow with the primate but was one better as he kicked the ape into a wall.

Bonnie was rather grateful. In almost an instant, she took him into a fierce hug. Ron blushed a bit, knowing that this was beyond unusual behavior from his best friend's rival. After she broke the hug, she looked directly into his eyes.

"I know you would save me, Stoppable." She said admiringly.

What in the world was going on here? Did he die and come back as a superhero?

Because any of his questions could be answered, a catchy beat began to play in the background. He definitely had never heard it before. And before he could add his own lyrics, a group of people jumped from various places and yelled out

"Stopp-a-ble!"

As if on cue, Ron began to sing.

If a Monkey Fist is in your neighborhood,
Who ya gonna call?
Stopp-a-ble!
If Shego's on the loose, and it don't look good.
Who ya gonna call?
Stopp-a-ble!

As the guitar solo began, Ron crossed his arms in a nonchalant pose.

"I ain't 'fraid of no ape!" he muttered.

The solo repeated itself and Ron struck a different pose.

"I ain't 'fraid of no apes... I think."

If this scheme is just a stupid dream

Who ya gonna call?

"Stopp-A-Ble!" Ron yelled, standing up and raising both fists. He was shocked to find that instead of an abandoned warehouse, he was back in his classroom.

With thirty or so of his classmates staring at him.

As well as the teacher.

Grinning sheepishly and sitting back down in his chair, Ron grabbed a notebook and turned to the appropriate page. Just as he was turning the pages, the teacher began to speak.

"Uh, Ronald. Was there any reason for that outburst?" The teacher asked.

Ron had thought he would get the benefit of the doubt this time, but no such luck. With several classmates chuckling behind him, Ron answered the best way he could.

"Uh... I forgot my name?"

13: Stoppable Man

A bystander is watching one of the biggest comedies of Middleton High School; Ron Stoppable. As he watches the awkward blond trudge through the hallways, the bystander begins to sing quietly to himself.

Stoppable Man
Stoppable Man
Doing the things that a Stoppable can
What's he like, it's not important
Stoppable Man
Is he dumb, or is he in a rush?
When his pants fall down does he blush?
Or do the pants fall down on purpose?
Nobody knows, Stoppable Man

Monkey Man
Monkey Man
Monkey Man hates Stoppable man
They have a fight, Stoppable wins
Stoppable Man

Joshua Man
Joshua Man
Uses the paintbrush like no one can
Not quite kind to Stoppable man
Joshua Man
Captured Kim's heart so quickly man
Made Stoppable's heart so sickly, man
Who cares about what Stoppable thinks?
Nice looking man, Joshua Man

Rockwaller's Man
Rockwaller's Man
Hit Stoppable Man with his open hand
Twice the size of a Stoppable man
Rockwaller's Man
Does he know that it looks like rain?
Does he even have a half of a brain?
Don't ask, don't tell, he's the man
Just give a hand for Rockwaller's Man

Rockwaller's Man
And The Joshua Man
Both gang up on the Stoppable Man
They have a fight, they always win
Ron Stoppable Man

The boy finished his quiet song. Still looking at Ron, the boy began to chuckle to himself. Unfortunately as he was walking, he didn't see the wall that he was walking right into.

14: Green At The...

Dr. Drakken was once again hard at work with the next mad scientist-like scheme for world domination. Just as he was putting the finishing touches on his newest invention, the door to his room was slammed open. Startled, the former Drew Lipsky turned to look at who ruined his concentration.

Entering his room was indeed Shego. And by her appearance, a very agitated Shego.

"I'm out of here." She said simply.

'Oh vey!' Dr. Drakken thought to himself. Was this going to be another money dispute?

"Sheeego!" Drakken said, raising his voice and trying to stop her. "I promise I will pay you double after this scheme comes to fruition!" He continued.

Shego definitely wasn't buying this. Instead of talking some more, she reversed her position to walk out of the door to Drakken's room.

'It's not about money?' Drakken asked to himself. This was certainly a strange development. Thinking that this was very serious, the mad scientist ran to his door and effectively blocked the door. Shego just rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Shego." Drakken said softly. "You can't leave now! At least tell me what's wrong."

Shego stepped back from the doorway.

"If you really must know." She began. "I'm leaving this dump because I have a new partner." She said with a smile on her face.

"WHAT?" Drakken exclaimed. Who on Earth would employ her? His dubious question was answered as he felt something hit him in the back. The mad scientist hit the floor in a heap. Gripping his back in pain, he looked up to see who hit him.

Green scaly skin...

Red eyes...

And were those gills?

"Dr. D. meet my new partner." Shego said, smiling evilly. "Gill Moss!"

The genetically mutated fish walked over to Shego showing their unity. Drakken could only watch in horror as his finest employee had just dumped him for an uncooked Fish Filet. But before he knew it, something even more shocking was happening before his eyes.

Shego & Gill were...

Kissing?

Drakken would have definitely fell unconscious at that moment. But he was too preoccupied with puking all over the place.

15: Delightfully Oblivious

At last, it was going to happen.

Ron Stoppable was going to find out the mystery guy that his best friend, Kim Possible was crushing on. Grabbing a decent dress shirt, he head out the door to his home. Why did Kim set this up at sunset? At Middleton Park, no less? The only logical answer was that Kim and this guy were going to have a romantic evening together and at the very last minute, she insisted on him meeting her best friend.

Yep, Kim was thoughtful like that, Ron thought to himself. Perhaps this guy could give him some pointers on how to get a girl like Kim to fall all over him.

It was unlikely, but anything's possible.

Ron entered the park and began his search. He checked the swings, then the playground. Just as he was going to make his way to the basketball courts, he was whirled around by arm unseen to him. After he was spun around, he looked at the one who jerked around him so harshly.

It was Kim.

Man, did she look stunning in the sunset!

"Hey, Ron." The redhead said, smiling coyly.

"Hey, K.P." Ron said. "Gosh, you look great." He added, making the teen heroine blush slightly. He looked her over once again and then looked in various other directions.

"Uh... K.P." Ron said with a little confusion in his voice. "Isn't this guy supposed to be here?"

"He already is." Kim said under her breath. Sighing, she takes Ron's hand and looks into his eyes.

"Before you meet this guy, there's something I have to say." She said softly. With her eyes still locked upon her best friends', she had drawn even closer to him.

"The guy that I'm crushing on is..." Is the last thing the pretty redhead said before she lightly pressed her lips against Ron's. After a second or so, she pulled away, leaving Ron with a wide-eyed expression painted on his face.

'Whoa... Uh... Wow... I mean er... Boo-yah?'

Seeing her best friend with that expression on his face, her face broke into a scintillating smile. With her emerald green eyes shining as brightly as the now rising moon, she asked what pretty much was the most important question of the night.

"Now do you know who it is?" She asked, still smiling.

Ron still stared at Kim with a blank expression on his face.

"Uh-huh." He said, nodding slightly. Seconds after he came up with the answer, Kim tugged on his arm.

"Good. Let's get out of here then." She said to him. As they began to walk, something once again popped into Ron's head. He then stopped for a moment.

"Uh, K.P.?" Ron said. Kim stopped to look back at Ron.

"What's up, Ron?" Kim asked.

"About that guy..." He began slowly.

"...Why didn't he show up?"

End of Chapter 3

Other Stuff

11. I wonder what's gonna happen to the Ron-man now?

12. For scenes 12 & 13, I must've went into a time machine and went back to the 20th Century. As for this, indeed it is The Real Ghostbusters theme.

13. I seriously can't believe I remember that song. The song is supposed to be to the tune of "Particle Man" by They Might Be Giants, waaaaay back in 1990. Who says kids have no memories?

14. This is apparently what happens when my right mind gets away from me. Someone please keep me from doing this. I'm begging you.

15. After watching "So The Drama", I think Kim deserves a little bit of "ugly torture."

D3: None of the songs I mercilessly ripped are mine. They are the sole property of the artists. Imagine me being that creative...

Read! Review! Throw rocks at Ron for being so dense!

S-Chrome