Disclaimer: I do not own the TMNT. But I do own the feelings and poem at the end.
A/N: I've felt God had this story on my heart for awhile and wouldn't let me do anything else till it was written. Involves opinions and September 11. But please read, I think you'll find it has a small wake up in it. Had one for me.
Dedication: To all those who have fought and are fighting for our freedom,
to all those who have lost their lives and suffered many things,
to all those families who lay broken and have had a piece of their heart and soul stolen from them so cruelly.
I want you to know, we remember and even the eagle lowers his proud gaze in your presence.
I want you to know, that you nor your cause is forgotten. And that you all are forevermore in our prayers.
I can't give much, but I can give you this story.
May God bless and watch over each and every one of you.
Mikey's POV
Its early morning, man I love early the early morning. No one else is up, well Leo is, but he's busy in the dojo, probably won't be to long before he comes to drag me there with him His first reaction would probably be shock that I'm up this early in the morning, I'm one turtle that just loves to sleep in, unless its Saturday. I mean seriously who sleep s in on a Saturday, oh yeah, Raph! I laugh at this he's always the one to sleep in even longer than I do. But who really wants to, because on that day, that one blessed day of the week. Splinter starts training at 9 instead of seven, meaning that in New York time, I get to watch all the best cartoons available to known mankind and turtle kind as well. There's Silver Century, Justice Force (also an excellent comic), Spiderman, X-men, the fantastic four and finally one of my all time favorites Teen Titans! Yah! But today isn't Saturday or even close to it in fact, No today's just another old boring regular Tuesday. Nothing event full planned so except for maybe later tonight nothing eventful to happen Right?
For some reason though I just can't sleep anymore like there's this piece of my mind that just won't rest and there's this weird sickening cold feeling in the pit of my stomach, like something's bound to happen today, something bad. And now matter how many times I try to push this feeling down it just won't let go, making me almost feel like I'm gonna start blowin chunks or something like that.
So here I am now out of bed at five in the morning because of some dang weird feeling in my mind. Maybe something will happen today like when in issue 257 of Justice force metal head just knew something bad was about to happen and then it did. Nah!
Walking over to the cabinet I pull out cereal, Honey combs, ack. not much in mood for cereal, but I also don't feel like cooking anything. Honestly at this hour the noise might wake people up. Not really, but that's my excuse for now. Coming back into the living room I plop down and turn on the tube, maybe TV. will help some, but I can't help thinking I'm really wrong about that. Sighing I keep flipping through channels, nothing goods on at this time of morning, Well Saturdays the exception but we've already discussed that. Finally after a few minutes of silence and quick buzzing the channel comes to rest on Dora the explorer.
"Who puts these shows on the air?" I wonder aloud Then again I could learn some Spanish and annoy Raph especially well today. Huh brotherly ribbing is now crossing international boundaries. Hearing Leo I decide against this channel. I already get enough bout being the baby of the clan; don't need this on my record.
Quickly flipping it off I turn to a news channel, something about the unrest in the Middle East. I hate that, people fighting and dieing needlessly over there. Now I do enjoy a good fight every once in a while, but not like that not like when every time you walk out of your home you gotta be scared half to death of being shot. I know it's not like there every way thank you Lord for that. But still the fact that's it like that anywhere for anyone makes me feel even sicker than before.
The queasy feeling my stomach grows as they bring up a mans name, Osama Bin Laden, something about him being the head of an underground criminal run, Taliban I think that's what the news dude says. I shook it off; I had nothing to worry about right? I mean, were hundreds of thousands of miles away from them, in America the safest country out there. We don't need to worry about those things. I mean who in their right mind would attack us or even want to.
Ask and were there for you. Want liberation? Send word to our government. We'll send troops over in a heart beat and free you from oppressive dictator ways. Though my kind itself may not find this welcome, everyone else would, we're the world's most powerful country, not even the Triceritions could break us, though they did come close with those big laser guns. It woulda been so cool if they hadn't wanted to hurt us. Oh well the point is we stood our ground and will forever, nothing can penetrate our walls so to speak and I ask again Who in their right mind would even have the guts much less the ability to attack us? No one.
But then it dawns on me yeah no one in there right mind, but then again not a lot of people in this world have a right mind. Take Shredder for example, don't care who he hurts just as long as he gets his way. Then there's Hun, biggest idiot out there, but has enough muscle to put a real mean hurtin on ya. Raph knows, actually that's probably why he's still asleep, he came home last night one bruised and bloody mess! Hun had been out and Raph stopped him and his fellow dragons from pulling a sadly increasing popular gang rape on some poor girl, wasn't even out of high school age. Raph said she looked about fifteen sixteen years old. Poor kid probably still an emotional wreck.
Then, theirs Stockman, Chaplin, Bishop and Karia.
Stockman and Chaplin, jerks and over egotistical (mostly Stockster with the ego thing) and only Donny seems to be able to thwart what they do and sometimes only by the skin of his teeth and Aprils help.
Then we come to Karai, she's confused and most of all afraid, she'll never admit it, but you can tell just looking at us that'd she'd rather be here with us, here with Leo, rather than that wako utrom. But he saved her and now no matter what, she feels like she owes the jerk something. Not much, but something, Leo's recently been curious as to what really happened to Karai's parents, abandonment or murdered?
After all master Splinter once said "any endeavor the shredder undertakes is for his own personal gain, nothing more." And as of late Leo can't help but feel that Karia was but just one of those endeavors.
Finally then, there's Bishop. Now there's a psycho. I think for Christmas I'll send him a card with the name of a shrink in it who enjoys a good challenge. Yeah right, if sent him anything it'd be a good clean swipe upside his jaw. Oh great. Raph stop throwing your voice into my head. That's really what that was, Raphism to its finest, cept less gory and fewer details, but hey the guy had like a hacksaw two inches from my chest! So I'm bound and think should be allowed to have just a little personal angst against him. I mean come on wouldn't you?
Sadly another thought hits my mind, true no one in their right mind would want to hurt us, but like I mentioned there's plenty of people out there who aren't in their right mind.
We got a world and country's just teaming full of Shredders, Huns, Stockman's, Chaplin's and Karias. Not the best thing ever, its just how much damage they could do that matters. Still I stick with my thinking, we're America we're invincible and nothing can change that, but I have another deep gut feeling in the pit of my innermost stomach that I could be wrong. Perhaps even Dead Wrong!
"Michelangelo?" I suddenly hear my voice being called pulling out of my thoughts, something I'm most grateful for. Turning around I see Leo looking at me with a puzzled expression on his face darting back from me to the TV.
Eye ridge raised he suddenly gave me a lopsided grin "The news?" he asked bemused "Since when do you watch the news?" he added coming over and plopping down next to me on the couch still a weird expression on his face
"Uh, nothing else was on and I couldn't sleep so, well yeah that's about the size of it." I answered sheepishly; I left out the part about feeling like events planned out for the day by others may shake the very foundation of which we've all based our lives on.
"That all?" he asked me a worried expression tugging at the corner of his face
He KnOwS big brother instinct most likely, well right now my little brother instinct is telling me to keep my big mouth shut.
"Yep, that's all folks." I smiled back
"C'mon Mikey don't even try and fool me. I've been watching you for the past half hour and you've had the expression on of somebody who saw their cat run over." He crossed his arms
The feeling inside right now was overwhelming all other instincts. For some reason I needed to be reassured of safety, for some reason I wanted to be anywhere else but in New York at that time.
After a few minutes I started "It's this weird feeling I woke up with is all."
"Are you sick or something, should I get Donny?" he asked concerned
"No, not like that just uneasy I guess."
"About?"
"I don't know it's just…America."
"Excuse me?" he asks looking in my direction a small worry on his face
"Just, well, America's invincible right Leo? I mean it's got everything a country could want right? Freedom, democracy, cable. We're untouchable aren't we?"
Leo's eyes grew sad looking in my direction. "Not completely Mike. See we do have pretty much all that, but as of late. I get the feeling were missing something. Something pretty important, something that if we don't have or get back soon America may not be as great as it could be." He paused "Or as safe." He finished placing a comforting hand on my shoulder
"What do think its missing?" I asked intrigued Leo was usually the most patriotic of us all, didn't matter that'd we'd never be able to vote or anything else like that. He still loved this country.
When we were kids, his first response to hearing about World War Two from Sensei in a history lesson was "I bet nobody could hurt us." Not two seconds later did Splinter heavy heartedly explain how untrue that was, showing us a picture of a Japanese fighting plane that was crashing into Pearl Harbor. We all had dropped our jaws. Japan? But that had been Sensei's original home, the most honorable place ever. This had to be a mistake. Again Splinter told us that sometimes in bad situations evil men rose to power and caused even the most honorable places to be disgraced. He told us though of hope and how years later. America and Japan actually became Allies and friends, trading with each other and helping the other along when need be. Though our closest Allie is England, Japan is still a humongous one.
"I can't quite put my finger on it Mike, but it's big. It's just one of those things that no country can stand without." He said pulling me from the memory
"God." I state simply, he's giving me a funny look now. Yeah, I know Leo's a Buddhist and all, but hey that's what it sounds like to me, something we lost and need to find again, without we won't be as great, no country can stand without it. Sounded like God was the answer to that riddle.
"Maybe." He said shocking me, usually he hated when either Donny or I brought it up to him, but you know what that's how I feel. Was he beginning to feel it to?
"But what's with the sudden questioning about us being invincible. I mean I know we aren't completely, but still. What brought it up?"
I look away for minute, I've never been this serious in my life, except when we thought Leo was going to die that one Christmas or that time Splinter was missing and Donny captured by the Triceritons.
Collecting my thoughts I look back to meet his eyes "Leo, do ever get a feeling deep down that something really bad is going to happen? That there's going to be this huge event that'll make things go from what we thought was bad and hard to nearly unbearable and worse than ever expected? Have you ever felt like you just knew something horribly was going to," I breathed in sharply unsure myself why "was going to happen and that you were sitting right there nearly on top of it, but just couldn't do anything to stop it?"
He looked at me then at Raph's room, then back to me again "Yeah, yeah I do."
A few minutes of uncomfortable silence broke out between us. I noticed a clock. Huh nine thirty already? Wonder why Sensei hasn't started practice yet, probably a good thing though. My mind would be anywhere but training. Donny could now be heard moving about in his lab and a gentle snore from Raph's room signified he may be getting up shortly.
I was about to say something when suddenly a large crashing sound not to far away sent my hands directly over my ears. Leo was up in a heart beat swords out and ready. Immediately Donny bolted out of his lab followed by a still bandaged Raph.
"What the shell?" Raph asked upon getting to the lower level, Weapons out and ready. Master Splinter was out of his room as well. Then for some reason as all this was going on my eyes wandered over to the TV set. What I saw sent immediate chills up my spine. The original program was cut and a picture of a passenger plane crashing into what looked like one of the Twin Towers blazed across the scene. Oh man "Dear God, please, please, please let that just be an advertisement for some lame movie." I silently pleaded
But no it wasn't, this was real. I heard noise, but didn't look back. Before I knew it I was bolting out of the lair faster than I've ever run in my entire life. Followed closely by Leo, Raph and Don at his heels. This couldn't be happening, this couldn't be happening. My thoughts were a blur as we all rushed out from the garage, just in time to see yet another plane swerve into the second of the towers causing it to collapse. NO! All those people, what was happening? I didn't understand, yet in my hearts of hearts I knew I did. America was under attack.
"Donny, Mikey, get back inside now!" Raph yelled as smoke rose from the buildings flames beginning to burst out. We were about half way from there a few miles only. We could hear the screams, we could feel the heat of the growing fire, we, I could feel it all.
"NOW!" Raph suddenly screamed forcing me and Don back into the hold.
"Were not leaving you!" Donny yelled
"Do what Raph says!" Leo ordered reinforcing the command given
We didn't have time to answer as we heard several police cars speed forward, fire engines following closely behind and a multitude of ambulances at the head, tires squealing. Suddenly I got hit with the sick smell of copper. Blood. So much of it. And all I could think about was who it belonged to, how many innocents were gone at this time or slipping away. Some being burned by fire others being crushed and buried alive. Time felt like it stopped, I could feel tears blurring my vision along with this horrible desire to throw up. Practically feeling my breakfast rise in my throat I swallowed it down.
"Can we help?" I asked tearfully
"What, Mikey you know…" Don started
"I know that, But is there a way to help!" I cried looking to both Leo and Raph "Please?" this couldn't be happening this wasn't happening, not us, not America.
"We can try." Leo said suddenly sheathing his swords giving a nod of approval as we bolted forward towards the devastation
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
It was early morning, our choices of hiding far from good, but still we were doing what we could. Clearing paths so people could get through seemed to be about all we could do at that moment. Then I heard a cry. It was small and frightened. Running over, I looked
behind a slab of what used to be a car, there sat a little girl about five. Looking up she cried out "Where's my mommy mister? Where is she?" tears slipping down her face. She wasn't scared of me that was good, getting closer I sat down next to her
"Where was your mom last?" I ask gently pulling her into a hug
"In there." My heart hit rock bottom when I followed her direction to the first and second mounds of chaos "She told me to wait in the car while she ran something in there. Then the big plane hit! She didn't come out mister, she didn't come out." She cried burying her head in my chest
Holding back my own tears I realized she probably wouldn't, more pain coming to my mind I recognized that this little girl would most likely never see her mother again, along with countless other children who wouldn't see theirs. Fathers, mothers perhaps even both would never make it home to their children. Husbands and wives would leave the other behind. "What's your name?" I ask tenderly sweeping some raven colored hair from her face
"Esperanza." She answered "My mommy and papa told me it's," she hiccupped slightly "Spanish." She finished wiping her tears
"That's a pretty name. What's it mean?" I ask trying to keep her mind off of loss
"It means hope." She said simply
Hope, ironically enough. In the midst of this tragedy I found hope. And just like this little girl in my arms it was ripped apart, torn to shreds and broken. Nothing left. I sigh as a few tears finally find there way down y face.
"Why are you crying?" she asked with concern looking up "Was your mommy in there to?" she finished reaching up to wipe away my few tears
"No, she wasn't" I didn't even have a mother "I just wish your mother hadn't been." I finished quietly as she laid her head against my plastron again.
Hearing a small set of quiet footsteps I heard a woman frantically cry out "Esperanza! Esperanza! Where are you?" fear was evident in this woman's voice.
Getting up I called out "She's over here, she's o.k." I swore I heard soles of shoes burn into the ground as she ran towards us. She was fast; I guess any parent would be in that situation.
I stood up still holding the girl in my arms her eyes lit up as the woman rounded the corner, the lady was burnt, and had a few cuts and bruises. But at the sight of her daughter couldn't have looked happier
"Mommy!" hope cried as her mother got closer taking her from my arms
"¡Esperanza! mi bebé, usted es seguro!" she cried swinging her daughter around kissing her forehead. I turn to leave quickly but feel a thin hand touch my arm
"You saved my daughter. Now why do you leave?" she asked as look at her
"I didn't, save her or anything, I just…" I start
"You found her and cared for her señor , you were here to help. So why do you leave now?" she asked as more sirens blared
"Look, I just, I shouldn't be here. I'm not like you; I need to help from the shadows." I reply walking away
"Yes, you are like me. Today you are like everyone else. For you are an American and today this is Americas tragedy. Today we are one." She said stopping me cold I'd never thought about that, I knew I was in America and I loved it, but until that moment I never really thought of myself as an American.
Turning around I face them again. Mother and child, but what pains me is that not all children will be as fortunate as Hope not all of them will find there parents. "Thank you." I smile for the first time that day. Why I don't know, perhaps it had to do with this little girl now being in her mother's arms, or the fact that I was accepted that day. Maybe it even had to do with for the first time being considered a true American. And not a freak that has to hide in the shadows all the time.
"Señor?" Esperanza looks at me eyes full of her namesake "Would you ever come over and play with me?" Stunned I could only shift my eyes from mother to daughter
"We live on Franklin Avenue. Our doors are always open?" the woman reassured me
"I'll see, uh yeah, sure I can. What's your name?" I asked the mother
"信頼." She replied
My ears perked up immediately "What?"
"It's Japanese…for faith." She said
I knew what it was, just never expected it. Here amidst the worst tragedy ever I had found not only hope, but faith as well.
"And what would your name be?" faith asked
"I…I'm Mikey, Michelangelo." I stuttered
"I hope to see you soon then Miguel Angel." She gave a weak grin turning to leave.
Once they were out of sight I sighed, nearly collapsing on the ground. Tears on my face and my heart heavy, I couldn't figure out why? Hope was o.k. her mother was safe. But still I could neither Hope nor Faith. In fact I felt like my very world was crashing in around me. Suddenly I felt a strong hand on my shoulder.
Looking behind me I saw Raph, small tears burning in his own eyes. Not even he could pretend to not feel the events of this day. "Sucks huh?" he asked "You never really think about humans being able to do this to their own kind do you?"
I shook my head gently tears spraying from them somewhat as I was pulled into a hug. "I don't understand how anyone could hate us so much." I cried returning the hug
"Us?" he asked
"Yeah we're Americans." I said realizing that my older brother had most likely never thought of himself as one either.
"What makes you say that?" he asks gruffly but not unkindly
"It's what we are." I say simply as we break the embrace
"Leo says we can't do anymore till later tonight, to many people." he explains a single tear finding its way down his face
I nod letting out a breath of pain and sadness, but most of all sudden anger. Yes I was an American and so are my brothers and father. Someone had attacked our home and I vowed on my honor to do whatever it took to bring them to justice, this anger burned in me, but I found surprisingly enough I couldn't hate them. Even after all they did, I didn't hate them. Did I despise and loathe what they've done? Yes Did I want justice to served and the innocent lives avenged? Oh Yeah! But when the question came up of if I hated them, hated the person and wouldn't care if they were condemned to Hell? I had to answer and be truthful with myself. No I didn't hate them not in that way at least. And I couldn't tell why. Maybe it was because Christ was in me and I couldn't want that for anyone. Maybe it was because I was all still so shook up over the events I was having a hard time believing that it had all really happened or maybe even it was simply because I was a weirdo who just couldn't. but I have a feeling it was the first one. I couldn't hate them, because my soul would not allow it.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Standing on a roof in the dim moonlight I look over to see the memorial placed where al the rubble used to be. Years have now passed since that fateful day that rattled all I used to think strong and invincible. Years from when we first invaded and liberated Afghanistan and are now in Iraq, but I still cry sometimes. I still feel this burden on my heart, yes I've tried to help best I could from the shadows, but now I no longer cry just because of September 11.
Now I weep because it seems as if we have forgotten it, just pushed the all too painful memory away and under a pile of others. I see those who used to cry out for blood and rally the troops now protest this war and make movies about the President rigging this attack for his, own personal and selfish gain. I see those who used to wait at airports greeting the soldiers with love, now picking fights with them on the street, daring them to fight so they can claim police brutality and the military using force on the people of its own country.
I'm not naïve I don't deny corrupt politicians or bribery of police official, or even things going on in government that shouldn't or that we should at least know about. But I feel sick when I hear of soldiers in other cities being beaten by street thugs. That happened here once, never again though. Raph was the first one to hear about and not five hours later three Purple Dragons were delivered bloody and beaten to the front door of a military base. He was in the shadows watching and nearly laughed as he recounted how they'd nearly peed their pants when a particularly gruff looking Sergeant got out there and gave one look at them then at the note Raph left. Nothing happened they just got thrown in jail, but from what my brother said the look was classic dear in headlight's. I didn't know what he'd written back then, but I read a few months later in a paper about how street thugs were brought in. One with a sign around his neck saying: "You protect us, without knowing it. I can't give you much, but here's a small return in the favor. May God protect you as you have done us."
I never said anything to him, but he knows I know. His face was bright pink for a few days after I got home newspaper in tow. But like I said now I weep, for the lost but also for what we refuse to remember. Sure I see a few flags flying here and there on Veterans Day and September 11. But during the other 363 days of the year, no one seems to care. No one seems to take time to listen to the old soldiers in Nursing homes or write to those fighting over seas for them for me. What I think people are forgetting faster every day is that our soldiers fight, so they can forget, they fight so they have the right to protest what they think is wrong and unjust about our government without fear of being shot or thrown in jail.
Oh America, do not forget so quickly why red is on our flag.
Oh America please do not forget the boys over there who may never return home.
Do not forget the daughters over seas who work to ensure your and your family's
Freedom.
Oh America Please do not forget those who lost there lives
On that bloody morning of September 11
The innocent blood that was shed
Oh America do not let go and so easily abandon and leave behind the Rock this country was founded on.
Oh America please do not forget those who died and gave you your rights
Do not forget America the day that placed the tear in the eagles proud and shining eye.
Oh America I beg of you,
Do not forget the day
When you saw Two Towers fall.
For America if you this, you are giving them exactly what they wanted.
End
A/N: It just seems like we've forgotten so much…