Hi! This story makes next to no sense and I find it kind of random. A lot of the things are kinda' out there like a Ray concept. (You should have no clue what I'm talking about unless you're some sort of mind reader/psychic.) This isn't a goofy story and is a little more serious so … ya. I don't intend for the first chapter to make much sense but as the story progresses, it will come clearer. Well, I guess I'll do the Disclaimer now, but I won't do it again until I use something or someone that/who isn't mine.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Beyblade characters. I admit it. Don't sue me.

Done!

Chapter 1: My Life in 1 Word: Pointless

I don't do this often, but now more then ever I have to express myself. Life sucks! Glad to get that out of my system, but there's more. So much more…

I wasn't always a foster child though it seems like it. No, once I had a family. Ya, but that was a long, long time ago.

I've probably been to at least 12 different homes but I've never stuck. No one wants me. I don't feel too bad because I probably wouldn't want me either. Apparently I have a bit of an attitude, but who doesn't? Nobody's perfect. Does that mean no one's impossible then? I've been called impossible more times than I can count. And ungrateful. And a waste of time. But what can I say? It's all true. I am impossible and all of the above and I don't think it's going to change.

Also, due to all the switching of the houses I stay at, I've been to a lot of different schools too. Once I was switched 5 times in just one year. That means 5 different schools. Finally, someone, I don't know who, stepped in and said that I would have to be kept with someone for an entire year. After that, they could put me up again. That pretty much means I get a new school every year. I find that a bit easier, yet I feel sorry for the poor, stupid person who has to put up with me for a whole year.

To most people, the hardest thing in moving is leaving your friends behind. Luckily I don't have to worry too much about that. I don't make friends easy. It may be because of my attitude like all the step parents I've had say but I highly doubt that. No one ever talks to me long enough to see the attitude I hide. No. I think the way I look scares them away before anything else. You see, I take the appearance of a now a day Goth. Yes, I'll say it again, Goth. I'm not afraid to admit it. I don't care.

Right now I'm in my new bedroom for the year. It's white. Really white. To try to cover it I've put up a few posters but other than that, you can hardly see that anyone actually lives here. It's kind of funny. The posters keep me amused. Not the actual poster but the little kids' reaction to the posters when they walk in my room or what used to be theirs. Unlike most people, they actually observe what's on the poster and totally flip out. One day, I think it was Nickie, came in and took a spas over an enlarged picture of a Green Day CD cover. Who knew it was a hand squeezing a bleeding heart. I just thought it was some deranged picture of a red, drooling giraffe. Who knew? Well apparently Nickie figured it out and told on me. I didn't even know they still did that. How childish.

Well, anyhow, the parents already hate me. Doesn't matter much because I'm not too overly fond of them either. Seeing this on paper is kinda strange. Even I have to admit that my attitude sucks. They hate me but I don't care cause I do to. Man, it must totally rip having to stay with me.

I seriously don't know why I'm doing this. I don't just mean this journal thing, but life altogether. It's just so much trouble for me and others around. Maybe I should just do everyone a favor and die. Great. Now I'm going suicidal. That isn't helping.

Okay, so after all this I haven't come to any conclusion. I think what I'm trying to get at is:

A) I feel that my life is pointless

B) My attitude could use some improving.

And C) I'm starting yet another new school.

Oh, I didn't mention the school thing. Well, I will now. Tomorrow's going to be my first day of school in this new place. There's something strange though. I'm nervous and I can't figure out why. I've done this so many times already, I just don't understand. But I guess there's nothing you can do about nerves but deal with them. It doesn't really matter though. I already know how the kids' reactions are going to be. I've never been accepted before, why start now?

I have no clue why I'm doing this… Actually, that's a lie. I know exactly why I'm doing this. No one ever listens. If I at least write down how I feel it'll be out in the open. What I wouldn't do for a friend… but that will never happen.

Ray.

He, he, he. I bet you thought this was about Kai. Fooled you. No, it's about Ray, but Kai will have an important role next chapter and if not, then defiantly in the 3rd. Sorry it was short but you can only make a journal so long. Well, don't give up on me and review. Please. It would mean a lot to me. You know, just say hi and if you liked the chapter or not. THANKS!