This is the chapter where the lovy dovy stuff ends and the humor begins. Say hello to two brand new characters! Review and tell me what you think. Okay?

"Mommy, Daddy." A tiny voice replied. Kaiba cringed. It was the girl, Sagira. He turned to face her, looking like his old self again. The boy was there as well but he looked tired and annoyed.

"What's wrong baby?" Ishizu asked, concerned about the girl's look of worry.

"I think there's something wrong," she paused to take in a deep, noisy breath, "with Uncle Mari."

"What do you mean?"

"He lock the door, and… he making weird noises… and, and he sound like he hurt."

"Wait a second, midget." Kaiba interrupted. "Did you hear anyone else in Marik's room?"

"Yeah, uh-huh!" Sagira chimed as though she suddenly remembered. "I think… I think she was hurt too!"

"Great." Kaiba muttered sarcastically, looking back up at the ceiling. Marik had been seeing someone for a while and sometimes tried to sneak her in after hours. Marik was a grown man now and could do as he pleased but Kaiba didn't appreciate Marik doing his business in his house. Actually, Kaiba wouldn't care what he did as long as he kept the volume down, which he didn't. For that reason, Kaiba didn't allow him to have sex in the house. Although, it would seem Marik didn't care.

"We have to help Uncle Mari!" Sagira whined.

"No we don't." Her older brother, Jahi, finally said, sounding more annoyed and tired.

"Don't worry baby. Uncle Marik's fine, there's no reason to worry. Now, you two go back to bed." She said, trying to calm her.

"But I'm scared. Can we sleep with you?" Sagira began to smile.

"No." Kaiba blurted our bluntly, with no remorse.

"Of course you can." Ishizu overruled.

"What?" Kaiba whispered to her angrily. "Ishizu, I'm naked under here!"

"Oh, they won't care."

"I will!"

"Seto, you're too self-conscious."

"You little—" But Kaiba never got to finish. Jahi and Sagira were already crawling into the bed. Well, Jahi did. Sagira was too small to climb up on her own. Kaiba laughed at her for a while as she struggled before picking her up. Jahi immediately settled close to his mother and tried to go back to sleep. Sagira, on the other hand, hopped around her father like a mad little monkey.

"Go to sleep." He growled, annoyed.

"Okay!" She squeaked, much too happy for his taste. Sagira flew the blankets over top of her and Kaiba closed his eyes, trying to sleep, which was hard do to Sagira's constant wiggling.

It wasn't very long before Kaiba opened his eyes again. Sagira was still having the time of her life under the covers and he felt as though someone was watching him. He turned his attention towards Jahi and Ishizu, only to find that they weren't looking at him. Before he could see what they were looking at, Kaiba felt little hands on the tip of his… well… where Sagira and Jahi came from.

Kaiba immediately jerked away, accidentally slapping her upside the head with his thigh. Almost as quickly as he had done this, Kaiba reached under the covers and snatched the 26 month old away.

"What the hell?" Kaiba said as Sagira submerged, giggling. "No. No Sagira! You don't touch that! That's Daddy's! Mine! It's my own personal…shit!" Kaiba hated sounding like a father.

"Seto!" Ishizu said in a hushed voice. He responded by giving her an angry glare. A real one this time.

"What is that, Daddy?" Sagira asked with a bright smile and eyes full of curiosity. It really scared Kaiba how much her eyes resembled his own. Jahi had the same eyes. Sometimes he wished he could pluck out those eyes, destroying any evidence that he was in any way related to those kids. But they did have some moments when he was happy to have them.

"It's his penis Sagira. Boys have them, now go to sleep." Jahi said very matter-of-factly. Now Jahi, Kaiba was on better terms with. Although he was a bit clingy to his mother, Jahi was extremely intelligent and diligent. Already, at the age of four, he had a 'I'll try to be nice to you but you better not try any stupid shit of I'll make you wish you were never born' attitude. Jahi, once again, turned towards his mother and tried to sleep. This time Sagira seemed to follow.

All was quiet… for a good five minutes. The silence was broken by Sagira, who had been unsuccessfully trying to hold in a comment. "You know what? Penis sounds like pee-pee." Simultaneously, Kaiba and Jahi let out a groan. Once that was over, the silence resumed. After a period of time, Kaiba was finally beginning to drift off. By this time, Ishizu and Jahi had already fallen to exhaustion. Almost as though a warning bell had sounded off in her head that he was at peace, Sagira spoke once again.

"Daddy, you know how penis sounds like pee-pee?" Kaiba didn't even bother responding. "Is that where you pee-pee?"

"That's it!" Kaiba whispered to himself, frustrated. He scrambled out of bed, throwing the blankets off of him, only to remember that he was still naked. Thankfully, he had inadvertently thrown the blankets over the still giggling little girl.

"Where you going Daddy?" Sagira asked as she quickly began to find her way out of the tumble of blankets. Kaiba bent down next to the bed to hide his lower half. When Sagira finally found her way out, she was greeted by the sight of her father's smiling face. Well… it wasn't actually a smile. It was that little grin he always seemed to have when he was about to fight a worthy opponent and was confident of victory.

"Why don't we play a little game?"

"Awe, I love games!" Sagira said, eager to start.

"Well here's how you play. I want you to lie down and close you r eyes. No peeking. And then I want you to count as high as you can."

"I can… I can count to… to thirty-three. I'm real smart." Sagira puffed out her chest with pride.

"Alright so count to thirty-three, slowly. If you finish doing that, I'll teach you the secret to learning all the numbers."

"ALL the numbers?" Wow!" Sagira looked at her father in wonder. "Okay, let me start now. She threw the covers up to her waist and closed her eyes tight.

"Remember no peeking and count slowly." Kaiba slowly stood back up and edged towards the dresser. As he pulled his black pajama pants from the dresser drawer, he listened to her count. Sagira had successfully counted to ten when she began to slow. His plan was working. The she-demon was falling asleep. By the time she counted to twenty-two, she was gone.

Kaiba couldn't help but be somewhat awed by the little monster. She was only two-years-old but she could already count to thirty-three. That wasn't all. Sagira could also wash and dress herself with little assistance, tell the difference between numbers and letters, draw stick figures, do simple equations like 1+12, had an incredible memory, could organize object by size , tie her shoes, and spoke English and Arabic.

Jahi had been the same when he was younger. Now at four-years-old, Jahi could read, write, wash and dress himself, do slightly harder equations like 100+200-25275, teach Sagira sign language, pull of a simple duel monsters strategy, beat Marik and tie with Mokuba at chess, and swim.

Kaiba had no real experience with kids but, from what he could remember from Mokuba and from what he already knew, that was pretty good. Of course, he didn't expect any less from his brood. Lucky, for them, they had inherited their father's mind numbingly high IQ and then some. Kaiba remembered getting the two of them tested. Doctors were stunned by their learning capacity and scores, envious that Jahi and Sagira's IQ's surpassed their own. Then again, so did his. Kaiba wondered how a little girl so quick minded could be so slow. What could he expect? After all, she was still a baby.

Kaiba did not head back to bed. He had a bone to pick with his brother-in-law.

That's it for this chapter! Now tell me what you think of the Kaiba as a Daddy.