Paul, Lee, and 'Hachi!
Part 2!
Paul: Part two!? I didn't know there was gonna be a part two!!!!
Heihachi: Well, since we were admired by a couple of fans, I guess the author had to put in a new one!!!
Lee: Can we get on with the story already?
Heihachi: Oh, all right already! Jeez, Lee, don't get a gray hair...heh, I guess it's too late, seeing that he already has gray hair...he he...
Lee: My hair is NOT gray. It is platinum. Or silver, which ever one you prefer...
DA STOREY!!!
Heihachi: Hey, peanut brain!!! You spelled it wrong again!!!
Paul: Oops... I'm sorry, Mr. Heihachi, I'm sure it will never happen again.
Heihachi: It better not happen again...
( This story starts in Heihachi's backyard, where Lee and Heihachi are discussing their new scam, and Paul, is ..um...making a fool of himself.)
Paul: (who's wearing oven mitts, a pair of underwear outside his pants, a pair of galoshes, and a Christmas stocking on his head) I am SANTA'S HELPER!!!!! I WILL FILL YOUR STOCKINGS, FOR IT IS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
Heihachi: (turns over to Paul) IT'S JULY, YOU STOOGE!!! HOW CAN IT BE CHRISTMAS, IF IT'S IN JULY!!!!??? ( turns back to Lee) I'm sorry, what were you saying before I was rudely interrupted?
Lee: I know a way we can get your money, hassle-free, no charge!
Heihachi: (interested) Really? How?
Lee: You know that ATM bankteller machine that's nearby here? We can use your Special card, and we can make a transaction, and add it to our current balance here!
Heihachi: Great idea, but there's this one tiny problem...THIS WHOLE DANG TOWN ONLY TAKES CASH, NO CREDIT OR IOU'S OR WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!
Lee: Ah... but this card is a very rare type of credit card that can give the money to us, in the pure form of cash, instantly!!!!
Heihachi: Then, what are we waiting for? Let's go!!!!
(but as he was about to do that, it was being carried away by a random elephant)
Heihachi: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ( slams against the window ( which was very sturdy Plexiglass, thank you very much...)) I was so close!! ( starts to have anime-style waterfall tears running down his face while having his face against the window)
Lee: Take it easy...there's always an explanation for this.
Paul: It is simple...the machine was being kidnapped by space elephants on their way to planet Pachyderm, where their leader is none other than Captain Planet, who wants to use the machine to clone evil versions of Spongebob Squarepants!!!!
( Heihachi and Lee both look at Paul strangely)
Paul: Simple!
Heihachi: You're simple!!! Oh, well, back to the drawing board...now what kind of scam to use this time...hmmm... I got it!!! We can make up a jungle safari, and the tourists can take pictures of wild animals, plants and such!!!! And we can sell souvenirs, too!!! Let us get our safari gear!
( So the three enter the closet after a few seconds they come out ...with weird costumes. Paul is dressed in a chicken costume, Lee is dressed like Venom ( the one from Guilty Gear, complete with the pool cue) and Heihachi is dressed up like a pimp)
Heihachi: Whoops, heh heh heh, I should have worn this costume later on...
Paul: I'm a chicken bwawk, bwawk, BU-CUCK!!! (starts making chicken noises, which causes Lee to hit him upside the head with his pool cue)
*WHACK!*
Paul: Owch!!
Lee: Ur... How about we change again, I feel sort of violated wearing this...
( So they go in the closet again, and now they have their safari gear on)
Heihachi: To the woods!!!
Lee: Paul, are you okay? I'm sorry I hit you, it was just an annoyance reflex.
Paul: It's okay, Nina does this to me all the time when I'm not listening!
( at the woods Oo...)
Lee: Heihachi, are you sure about this? This has got to be the most riskiest place to get these so-called "exhibits".
Heihachi: Relax, We just need to get a couple of things, then we head for home, easy?
Paul: (nervous) Let me remind you that...
Heihachi: (with his teeth clenched) I said, we are going to set up the exhibits, then we can go HOME!! Okay? ( hands Paul a shovel) NOW START DIGGING!!!!
Paul: (happy) Okay, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole..
( then, a rustling is heard in the nearby bushes)
Lee: (alerted) What was that?
Heihachi: It's just a couple of birds, don't mind that. (now has a bad memory of them pop in his head) On second thought, I hate birds. Sic'em, Paul!
Paul: Ahoy! (salutes, then as he approaches the bush a few couple steps, he hears giggling from it) AAAHHH!!!!
Heihachi: ( a little nervous) I guess they aren't birds..
Lee: Might I suggest we leave before it gets any worse?
Heihachi: No, because this will be the greatest plan ever!!
Paul: (runs to Heihachi) I'm not in my happy place anymore!
( Then the giggling and the rustling gets a little louder)
Lee: They're getting closer!
Heihachi: Okay, now we can run!
( So they start running, but the eerie noises keep following)
(five minutes later..)
Lee: (running) I don't know... *pant, pant* how much...we can...*pant* keep up...
Heihachi: (also running) We all know... *pant* we can ditch'em...*pant pant* if we try hard enough....
Paul: (ditto) This is fun!!! Ha ha ha ha ha..
( and then..they trip on a huge tree root sending them tumbling down...)
Paul: Down where?
Heihachi: Don't ask, Paul.
( a very steep hill!)
Heihachi: Why'd ya ask, stupid?
Heihachi and Lee: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Paul: A ha ha ha ha...( he's just laughing as he tumbles down)
(as they tumble down..)
*KLANG!!!!!!*
( They get knocked unconscious from the huge metal pipe at the bottom that who knows what it was for.)
( half an hour later...)
( The three slowly wake and try to figure out what happened)
Heihachi: ( rubbing his head) Ohhhh...my aching head...
Lee: ( also rubbing his head)That was quite a trip... where are we anyway?
Paul: I'm hungry.
Heihachi: You're always hungry, dip stick...
( Then they see Anna, Panda and Unknown looking at them.)
Anna: It's about time you woke up!
All three guys: ???
Unknown: Hope you like our new bathrobes!
( Paul, Lee, and Heihachi look at their fancy bathrobes they are wearing now)
Anna: You sure were dirty hanging out in that mud puddle!
Heihachi: ( a little dazed) Who are you all? (falls back)
Anna: Isn't it obvious?
Heihachi: (gets up) No, I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!
Anna: Go ahead, yell, no one will hear you... ;)
Panda: I'm Panda! (giggles)
Unknown: ( blows a bubble gum bubble) My name is Unknown.
Anna: And I'm Anna Williams! We're the Evergreen Sisters! We live in this old mansion together!
Paul: How come you're not related?
Lee: Paul!
Panda: Who said we were related?
Unknown: It's like a friendship sorority-type thing, no big.
Anna: I guess you boys are hungry after that expedition! Don't worry, we're gonna make some home cookin' for ya! ( the three "sisters" leave the room)
Paul: I have a stomach ache, guys..I wanna go home.
Heihachi: Relax, lumpy, it's not like they're going to torture us.
Lee: Father's right, Paul. Maybe they aren't as creepy once we get to know them.
Heihachi: Listen, all we have to do is accept their hospitality, then we can split! Besides, they have free food!
Paul: FOOD!? (starts drooling)
Lee: (looks a little disgusted at Paul's expression) Maybe we should start by not drooling on the floor, okay?
(Meanwhile at the kitchen)
Panda: Um, Anna, we don't know how to cook!
Unknown: Yeah, besides where are we going to find a restaurant that's authentic enough to be considered "home cooking"?
Anna: I have just the person to call. ( picks up one of the fancy phones and dials the number for Marshall China)
( Marshall China)
Law: What have I told you to cool the steamed dumplings first? ( hears the phone ring) Wait right here, (picks up the phone) Hello, welcome to Marshall China, how can I help you?
Anna: Well we would like some...
( back at the Guest Room)
Paul: Ooh... ( looks at the trophy collection, also here for no reason)
Lee: Hmmm...
( Then Lee notices a stack of three fancy suits with a note on top. He takes the note and reads it)
Lee: What's this...
Dear guys,
We got you some new clothes. Hope you like'em!
Love the Evergreen Sisters
Lee: Hmm... I guess we got some new clothes. Maybe we should try them on so we won't hurt their feelings.
Paul: ( has a trophy cup on his head) Look at me! I am Emperor Mango Sushiman, deliverer of truth, justice, and really great pizza!
Heihachi: I don' wanna!
Lee: Why not?
Heihachi: What if it's tacky?
Lee: These ladies must have worked all day creating them! You don't want them to have a hissy fit, do you?
Heihachi: All right, all right! Don't have a cow, man!
Paul: Yo ho ho and a bottle of bum!
Lee: You too, Paul.
Paul: Aw, man...I wanted to get naked.
Lee and Heihachi: (staring at Paul weirdly) O_O...
( so they try the suits on, and they didn't look so bad in them)
(Inside Paul's head...o_o)
( We see giant lawn chairs, fire hydrants, rubber duckies and toilets all over the place , with Paul on top of a pile of boxes of pizza)
Paul: I am King of the World!!! ( rides on top of a pizza box and slides all the way down the pizza pile into a pond full of gasoline, and then...)
*BOOM!*
Heihachi: Hey Paul, Paul!!
Paul: (comes to his senses) Wha, who's there? Hi there, Mr. Heihachi! You look smashing today!
Heihachi: Yeah yeah, enough of the compliments, I'm hungry!
Paul: Hungry? Where are we?
Lee: Paul, have you been zoning out again? We're in the living room.
Paul: Of what?
Heihachi: (takes a deep breath) The old mansion, you lug nut.
Paul: Ok. ( sits there for a couple of seconds)...MANSION!? AAAHHHH!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!
( Heihachi and Lee both grab on to Paul)
Lee: Paul!! It's okay!! They're not going to do anything to us, okay!?
Heihachi: Yeah, so quit being a maniac and sit your butt down and stop whining!!!
Paul: AAAAAAHHH!!! GET'EM OFFA ME!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! SPIDERS!!!!!! SPIDERS, SPIDERS...
Lee: Spiders? What on Earth are you talking about?
( As Heihachi and Lee hold on to Paul, who is now screaming "spiders!" for no reason at all, a very enticing aroma comes from the next room, which is the dining room)
Heihachi: What's that smell?
Lee: It smells like...
Paul: FOOD!!! ( Paul rushes in to the dining room)
Lee: Hey, wait up! ( he and Heihachi follow Paul)
(In the dining room...the three look and on the huge table, they see a large banquet that's fit for a Mishima...and Paul starts drooling, again...)
Lee: (looks over at Paul) Um...Paul, what have I told you about that?
Paul: (still drooling)
Lee: You shouldn't be doing that here...
Heihachi: Ah, who cares, Let's eat!
Paul: (banging on the table)
Yo, we be dancin' in the street,
'cuz we want somethin' to eat! (takes a bite out of a drumstick)
Lee and Heihachi: O_O'...
Paul: So Lee creates fireworks, and he wants his cut,
While Mr. Heihachi sticks them up my... (Heihachi stuffs Paul's mouth with a big tuna roll)
Heihachi: (with his teeth clenched) Will you shut up!?
Lee: Paul, that was pretty creative of you to freestyle, but father's right. I don't think we should talk about things like that at the table. ( politely goes back to eating)
Heihachi: ( holds Paul's head) You got that, stumpy?
Paul: ( he couldn't talk with the tuna roll, so he nods) Mm hmmm!
Heihachi: Good. (lets go, causing Paul to fall face first into the wonton soup)
(we see Kazuya arrive on stage, wearing his purple suit, along with a matching top hat, and carrying a magic wand)
Kazuya: Greetings, fellow viewers!! It is I, Kazuya Mishima, the greatest kick-@$$ man ever to walk the face of this Earth, here to entertain you, with my acts of MAGIC!!! For my first act, I will need a volunteer!!!
(with that, Kazuya instantly poofs Yoshimitsu to the stage)
Kazuya: So, what do you like to do for fun?
Yoshimitsu: ...
Kazuya: You know, like, hobbies, sports, any "dirty" habits you like to do...?
Yoshi:...(thinks about it for a couple of seconds)...Blade and I like to make our own donuts!!
Kazuya: Who's Blade?
(Yoshi points to his katana)
Kazuya: (huge sweatdrop on his head) Urr... wow, that's really nice... Well, what do you have for us?
Yoshi: Well, Blade and I found some really great stuff! ( he empties out his pockets, which has some pencils, a couple of shurikens, a basketball, a go-kart, a boombox, the S.S. Ed (which is a ship), and other random items.)
Kazuya: Wow...
Yoshi: Oh, I found this, too!! (pulls Heihachi's wallet from his pocket)
Kazuya: Wel, let's get started! For this act, folks, I will make all this money disappear!!!
(Then, Heihachi pops up from out of nowhere)
Heihachi: Oh, no you don't! Gimme back my money!!!!
Kazuya: Make me.
Heihachi: Besides, how can you make it disappear?
Kazuya: By blowing it on pointless merchandise, that's how! (devious grin across his face)
Heihachi: I'm warning you! (ticked off)
(Kazuya walks over to a nearby stand, called Cartman's Spicy Cookin')
Heihachi: Don't make me come over there!
Kazuya: Oh yes, I'd like one of your hot and spicy Kenny's Inferno, a couple of nachos, and a blue raspberry Slurpee!
Heihachi: (now all steamed up): THAT'S IT!!!!! (Tries frantically to go through the hole, but it's too tight. So a few minutes later, he gets out, but it's too late.)
Kazuya: See?
Heihachi: Why you little..(is about to strangle Kazuya, but....)
Kazuya: *BURRRRP!!!* (he burps out fire at Heihachi's face, making it black) Ooh, excuse me, dad.
Heihachi: Why..why does it always happen to me?
Paul: We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.
(back at the mansion in the living room)
Heihachi: (angry) Paul, we're leaving!!!
Paul: Gravy!
Heihachi: Get Lee and tell him that we're blowin' this joint, A.S.A.P!
Paul: Ok. Oh, Lee!! Where are you?
(Paul looks around for him in the dining room...)
Paul: Hello?
( In the bedroom...)
Paul: (looking under the bed) Are you down there?
(and in the bathroom... O_O)
Paul: (Has his head in the toilet) Come out, come out, wherever you are!!! I got cranberries!!!!
(But to no avail. So, he goes back to the living room, and...he FINALLY finds Lee, who is sitting in an armchair, reading a novel, and is so relaxed that he's about to fall asleep, thanks to Unknown's TLC she's giving him( like a back massage, it isn't anything too explicit...))
Paul: Hey, Lee! (starts to shake him a bit)
Lee: (opens one eye) ...Hmm?
Paul: We gotta go back to the Krusty Krab!!!
Heihachi: Paul, you pea brain!!! We don't even work there!!! We gotta go HOME!!!
Paul: Ok. (Picks up Lee and carries him over his shoulder)
( and so, they run off home, with a tired Lee, and a ticked off Heihachi..)
( back at Heihachi's residence...)
Heihachi: (ticked off) Great... that's two scams, down the drain, and my allowance blown on snacks! What else could possibly happen!?
Paul: Shh, he is sleeping.....(tucks Lee into bed) Good night, little angel...
Heihachi: (grabs Paul by the collar) WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?
Paul: Um...I forget.
Heihachi: AAAGGHHHH!!! (grabs a lamp post)
Paul: Uh oh...AAAAAAAHHH!!!!
(So, Paul, starts running outside, and Heihachi is chasing after him with the lamp post, while Lee is peacefully sleeping throughout the ruckus)
Scam analysis: ...Failed
THE END
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this!!! Except for Cartman's Spicy Cookin' that is.
Next time: The three take part-time jobs in Marshall China, hopefully they won't screw up...or will they!?
Please R&R!!!!
Part 2!
Paul: Part two!? I didn't know there was gonna be a part two!!!!
Heihachi: Well, since we were admired by a couple of fans, I guess the author had to put in a new one!!!
Lee: Can we get on with the story already?
Heihachi: Oh, all right already! Jeez, Lee, don't get a gray hair...heh, I guess it's too late, seeing that he already has gray hair...he he...
Lee: My hair is NOT gray. It is platinum. Or silver, which ever one you prefer...
DA STOREY!!!
Heihachi: Hey, peanut brain!!! You spelled it wrong again!!!
Paul: Oops... I'm sorry, Mr. Heihachi, I'm sure it will never happen again.
Heihachi: It better not happen again...
( This story starts in Heihachi's backyard, where Lee and Heihachi are discussing their new scam, and Paul, is ..um...making a fool of himself.)
Paul: (who's wearing oven mitts, a pair of underwear outside his pants, a pair of galoshes, and a Christmas stocking on his head) I am SANTA'S HELPER!!!!! I WILL FILL YOUR STOCKINGS, FOR IT IS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!
Heihachi: (turns over to Paul) IT'S JULY, YOU STOOGE!!! HOW CAN IT BE CHRISTMAS, IF IT'S IN JULY!!!!??? ( turns back to Lee) I'm sorry, what were you saying before I was rudely interrupted?
Lee: I know a way we can get your money, hassle-free, no charge!
Heihachi: (interested) Really? How?
Lee: You know that ATM bankteller machine that's nearby here? We can use your Special card, and we can make a transaction, and add it to our current balance here!
Heihachi: Great idea, but there's this one tiny problem...THIS WHOLE DANG TOWN ONLY TAKES CASH, NO CREDIT OR IOU'S OR WHATSOEVER!!!!!!!!
Lee: Ah... but this card is a very rare type of credit card that can give the money to us, in the pure form of cash, instantly!!!!
Heihachi: Then, what are we waiting for? Let's go!!!!
(but as he was about to do that, it was being carried away by a random elephant)
Heihachi: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! ( slams against the window ( which was very sturdy Plexiglass, thank you very much...)) I was so close!! ( starts to have anime-style waterfall tears running down his face while having his face against the window)
Lee: Take it easy...there's always an explanation for this.
Paul: It is simple...the machine was being kidnapped by space elephants on their way to planet Pachyderm, where their leader is none other than Captain Planet, who wants to use the machine to clone evil versions of Spongebob Squarepants!!!!
( Heihachi and Lee both look at Paul strangely)
Paul: Simple!
Heihachi: You're simple!!! Oh, well, back to the drawing board...now what kind of scam to use this time...hmmm... I got it!!! We can make up a jungle safari, and the tourists can take pictures of wild animals, plants and such!!!! And we can sell souvenirs, too!!! Let us get our safari gear!
( So the three enter the closet after a few seconds they come out ...with weird costumes. Paul is dressed in a chicken costume, Lee is dressed like Venom ( the one from Guilty Gear, complete with the pool cue) and Heihachi is dressed up like a pimp)
Heihachi: Whoops, heh heh heh, I should have worn this costume later on...
Paul: I'm a chicken bwawk, bwawk, BU-CUCK!!! (starts making chicken noises, which causes Lee to hit him upside the head with his pool cue)
*WHACK!*
Paul: Owch!!
Lee: Ur... How about we change again, I feel sort of violated wearing this...
( So they go in the closet again, and now they have their safari gear on)
Heihachi: To the woods!!!
Lee: Paul, are you okay? I'm sorry I hit you, it was just an annoyance reflex.
Paul: It's okay, Nina does this to me all the time when I'm not listening!
( at the woods Oo...)
Lee: Heihachi, are you sure about this? This has got to be the most riskiest place to get these so-called "exhibits".
Heihachi: Relax, We just need to get a couple of things, then we head for home, easy?
Paul: (nervous) Let me remind you that...
Heihachi: (with his teeth clenched) I said, we are going to set up the exhibits, then we can go HOME!! Okay? ( hands Paul a shovel) NOW START DIGGING!!!!
Paul: (happy) Okay, dig a hole, dig a hole, dig a hole..
( then, a rustling is heard in the nearby bushes)
Lee: (alerted) What was that?
Heihachi: It's just a couple of birds, don't mind that. (now has a bad memory of them pop in his head) On second thought, I hate birds. Sic'em, Paul!
Paul: Ahoy! (salutes, then as he approaches the bush a few couple steps, he hears giggling from it) AAAHHH!!!!
Heihachi: ( a little nervous) I guess they aren't birds..
Lee: Might I suggest we leave before it gets any worse?
Heihachi: No, because this will be the greatest plan ever!!
Paul: (runs to Heihachi) I'm not in my happy place anymore!
( Then the giggling and the rustling gets a little louder)
Lee: They're getting closer!
Heihachi: Okay, now we can run!
( So they start running, but the eerie noises keep following)
(five minutes later..)
Lee: (running) I don't know... *pant, pant* how much...we can...*pant* keep up...
Heihachi: (also running) We all know... *pant* we can ditch'em...*pant pant* if we try hard enough....
Paul: (ditto) This is fun!!! Ha ha ha ha ha..
( and then..they trip on a huge tree root sending them tumbling down...)
Paul: Down where?
Heihachi: Don't ask, Paul.
( a very steep hill!)
Heihachi: Why'd ya ask, stupid?
Heihachi and Lee: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Paul: A ha ha ha ha...( he's just laughing as he tumbles down)
(as they tumble down..)
*KLANG!!!!!!*
( They get knocked unconscious from the huge metal pipe at the bottom that who knows what it was for.)
( half an hour later...)
( The three slowly wake and try to figure out what happened)
Heihachi: ( rubbing his head) Ohhhh...my aching head...
Lee: ( also rubbing his head)That was quite a trip... where are we anyway?
Paul: I'm hungry.
Heihachi: You're always hungry, dip stick...
( Then they see Anna, Panda and Unknown looking at them.)
Anna: It's about time you woke up!
All three guys: ???
Unknown: Hope you like our new bathrobes!
( Paul, Lee, and Heihachi look at their fancy bathrobes they are wearing now)
Anna: You sure were dirty hanging out in that mud puddle!
Heihachi: ( a little dazed) Who are you all? (falls back)
Anna: Isn't it obvious?
Heihachi: (gets up) No, I WANNA GO HOME!!!!!
Anna: Go ahead, yell, no one will hear you... ;)
Panda: I'm Panda! (giggles)
Unknown: ( blows a bubble gum bubble) My name is Unknown.
Anna: And I'm Anna Williams! We're the Evergreen Sisters! We live in this old mansion together!
Paul: How come you're not related?
Lee: Paul!
Panda: Who said we were related?
Unknown: It's like a friendship sorority-type thing, no big.
Anna: I guess you boys are hungry after that expedition! Don't worry, we're gonna make some home cookin' for ya! ( the three "sisters" leave the room)
Paul: I have a stomach ache, guys..I wanna go home.
Heihachi: Relax, lumpy, it's not like they're going to torture us.
Lee: Father's right, Paul. Maybe they aren't as creepy once we get to know them.
Heihachi: Listen, all we have to do is accept their hospitality, then we can split! Besides, they have free food!
Paul: FOOD!? (starts drooling)
Lee: (looks a little disgusted at Paul's expression) Maybe we should start by not drooling on the floor, okay?
(Meanwhile at the kitchen)
Panda: Um, Anna, we don't know how to cook!
Unknown: Yeah, besides where are we going to find a restaurant that's authentic enough to be considered "home cooking"?
Anna: I have just the person to call. ( picks up one of the fancy phones and dials the number for Marshall China)
( Marshall China)
Law: What have I told you to cool the steamed dumplings first? ( hears the phone ring) Wait right here, (picks up the phone) Hello, welcome to Marshall China, how can I help you?
Anna: Well we would like some...
( back at the Guest Room)
Paul: Ooh... ( looks at the trophy collection, also here for no reason)
Lee: Hmmm...
( Then Lee notices a stack of three fancy suits with a note on top. He takes the note and reads it)
Lee: What's this...
Dear guys,
We got you some new clothes. Hope you like'em!
Love the Evergreen Sisters
Lee: Hmm... I guess we got some new clothes. Maybe we should try them on so we won't hurt their feelings.
Paul: ( has a trophy cup on his head) Look at me! I am Emperor Mango Sushiman, deliverer of truth, justice, and really great pizza!
Heihachi: I don' wanna!
Lee: Why not?
Heihachi: What if it's tacky?
Lee: These ladies must have worked all day creating them! You don't want them to have a hissy fit, do you?
Heihachi: All right, all right! Don't have a cow, man!
Paul: Yo ho ho and a bottle of bum!
Lee: You too, Paul.
Paul: Aw, man...I wanted to get naked.
Lee and Heihachi: (staring at Paul weirdly) O_O...
( so they try the suits on, and they didn't look so bad in them)
(Inside Paul's head...o_o)
( We see giant lawn chairs, fire hydrants, rubber duckies and toilets all over the place , with Paul on top of a pile of boxes of pizza)
Paul: I am King of the World!!! ( rides on top of a pizza box and slides all the way down the pizza pile into a pond full of gasoline, and then...)
*BOOM!*
Heihachi: Hey Paul, Paul!!
Paul: (comes to his senses) Wha, who's there? Hi there, Mr. Heihachi! You look smashing today!
Heihachi: Yeah yeah, enough of the compliments, I'm hungry!
Paul: Hungry? Where are we?
Lee: Paul, have you been zoning out again? We're in the living room.
Paul: Of what?
Heihachi: (takes a deep breath) The old mansion, you lug nut.
Paul: Ok. ( sits there for a couple of seconds)...MANSION!? AAAHHHH!!! GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!!!!!
( Heihachi and Lee both grab on to Paul)
Lee: Paul!! It's okay!! They're not going to do anything to us, okay!?
Heihachi: Yeah, so quit being a maniac and sit your butt down and stop whining!!!
Paul: AAAAAAHHH!!! GET'EM OFFA ME!!!! GET IT OFF!!!! SPIDERS!!!!!! SPIDERS, SPIDERS...
Lee: Spiders? What on Earth are you talking about?
( As Heihachi and Lee hold on to Paul, who is now screaming "spiders!" for no reason at all, a very enticing aroma comes from the next room, which is the dining room)
Heihachi: What's that smell?
Lee: It smells like...
Paul: FOOD!!! ( Paul rushes in to the dining room)
Lee: Hey, wait up! ( he and Heihachi follow Paul)
(In the dining room...the three look and on the huge table, they see a large banquet that's fit for a Mishima...and Paul starts drooling, again...)
Lee: (looks over at Paul) Um...Paul, what have I told you about that?
Paul: (still drooling)
Lee: You shouldn't be doing that here...
Heihachi: Ah, who cares, Let's eat!
Paul: (banging on the table)
Yo, we be dancin' in the street,
'cuz we want somethin' to eat! (takes a bite out of a drumstick)
Lee and Heihachi: O_O'...
Paul: So Lee creates fireworks, and he wants his cut,
While Mr. Heihachi sticks them up my... (Heihachi stuffs Paul's mouth with a big tuna roll)
Heihachi: (with his teeth clenched) Will you shut up!?
Lee: Paul, that was pretty creative of you to freestyle, but father's right. I don't think we should talk about things like that at the table. ( politely goes back to eating)
Heihachi: ( holds Paul's head) You got that, stumpy?
Paul: ( he couldn't talk with the tuna roll, so he nods) Mm hmmm!
Heihachi: Good. (lets go, causing Paul to fall face first into the wonton soup)
(we see Kazuya arrive on stage, wearing his purple suit, along with a matching top hat, and carrying a magic wand)
Kazuya: Greetings, fellow viewers!! It is I, Kazuya Mishima, the greatest kick-@$$ man ever to walk the face of this Earth, here to entertain you, with my acts of MAGIC!!! For my first act, I will need a volunteer!!!
(with that, Kazuya instantly poofs Yoshimitsu to the stage)
Kazuya: So, what do you like to do for fun?
Yoshimitsu: ...
Kazuya: You know, like, hobbies, sports, any "dirty" habits you like to do...?
Yoshi:...(thinks about it for a couple of seconds)...Blade and I like to make our own donuts!!
Kazuya: Who's Blade?
(Yoshi points to his katana)
Kazuya: (huge sweatdrop on his head) Urr... wow, that's really nice... Well, what do you have for us?
Yoshi: Well, Blade and I found some really great stuff! ( he empties out his pockets, which has some pencils, a couple of shurikens, a basketball, a go-kart, a boombox, the S.S. Ed (which is a ship), and other random items.)
Kazuya: Wow...
Yoshi: Oh, I found this, too!! (pulls Heihachi's wallet from his pocket)
Kazuya: Wel, let's get started! For this act, folks, I will make all this money disappear!!!
(Then, Heihachi pops up from out of nowhere)
Heihachi: Oh, no you don't! Gimme back my money!!!!
Kazuya: Make me.
Heihachi: Besides, how can you make it disappear?
Kazuya: By blowing it on pointless merchandise, that's how! (devious grin across his face)
Heihachi: I'm warning you! (ticked off)
(Kazuya walks over to a nearby stand, called Cartman's Spicy Cookin')
Heihachi: Don't make me come over there!
Kazuya: Oh yes, I'd like one of your hot and spicy Kenny's Inferno, a couple of nachos, and a blue raspberry Slurpee!
Heihachi: (now all steamed up): THAT'S IT!!!!! (Tries frantically to go through the hole, but it's too tight. So a few minutes later, he gets out, but it's too late.)
Kazuya: See?
Heihachi: Why you little..(is about to strangle Kazuya, but....)
Kazuya: *BURRRRP!!!* (he burps out fire at Heihachi's face, making it black) Ooh, excuse me, dad.
Heihachi: Why..why does it always happen to me?
Paul: We now return you to our regularly scheduled program.
(back at the mansion in the living room)
Heihachi: (angry) Paul, we're leaving!!!
Paul: Gravy!
Heihachi: Get Lee and tell him that we're blowin' this joint, A.S.A.P!
Paul: Ok. Oh, Lee!! Where are you?
(Paul looks around for him in the dining room...)
Paul: Hello?
( In the bedroom...)
Paul: (looking under the bed) Are you down there?
(and in the bathroom... O_O)
Paul: (Has his head in the toilet) Come out, come out, wherever you are!!! I got cranberries!!!!
(But to no avail. So, he goes back to the living room, and...he FINALLY finds Lee, who is sitting in an armchair, reading a novel, and is so relaxed that he's about to fall asleep, thanks to Unknown's TLC she's giving him( like a back massage, it isn't anything too explicit...))
Paul: Hey, Lee! (starts to shake him a bit)
Lee: (opens one eye) ...Hmm?
Paul: We gotta go back to the Krusty Krab!!!
Heihachi: Paul, you pea brain!!! We don't even work there!!! We gotta go HOME!!!
Paul: Ok. (Picks up Lee and carries him over his shoulder)
( and so, they run off home, with a tired Lee, and a ticked off Heihachi..)
( back at Heihachi's residence...)
Heihachi: (ticked off) Great... that's two scams, down the drain, and my allowance blown on snacks! What else could possibly happen!?
Paul: Shh, he is sleeping.....(tucks Lee into bed) Good night, little angel...
Heihachi: (grabs Paul by the collar) WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING!?
Paul: Um...I forget.
Heihachi: AAAGGHHHH!!! (grabs a lamp post)
Paul: Uh oh...AAAAAAAHHH!!!!
(So, Paul, starts running outside, and Heihachi is chasing after him with the lamp post, while Lee is peacefully sleeping throughout the ruckus)
Scam analysis: ...Failed
THE END
Disclaimer: I own nothing in this!!! Except for Cartman's Spicy Cookin' that is.
Next time: The three take part-time jobs in Marshall China, hopefully they won't screw up...or will they!?
Please R&R!!!!