Paul, Lee, n' Hachi!
Part 3!!!
Heihachi: Oh yeah, we're great!! We're hot!! We're cookin' in the spot!!!!
Lee: That's really nice..but shouldn't we be starting on our story now?
Heihachi: Just a few more minutes...
Lee: -_-..
TEH STORIEIEY!!!
Heihachi: PAUL!!!!!!!
Paul: What is it, Mr. Heihachi?
Heihachi: You see THAT? (points to the misspelled title)
Paul: Um.. Are we going to Super Mario World?
Heihachi: No, you retard! You misspelled the title again! If this keeps up, you know what happens?
Paul: We go to Super Mario World!!!
Heihachi: NO!!! I AM GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP ACTING LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT AND START DOING THINGS RIGHT!!!
Paul: Does that mean we can't visit Bowser?
Heihachi: (starts fuming) Grr..
( So it starts out with Paul getting kicked out of his house, because Nina wants him to get a job)
(at Heihachi's house)
Paul: Hey, guys? Guys? (starts ringing the doorbell)
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
(Inside)
Lee: Father, I think we should let him in.
Heihachi: No way! Remember last time I answered the door?
*DING-DONG*
Heihachi: (opens the door) Who is *SPLOOOSH!!* (a gallon of soda gets dumped on his head) Grrr... I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!
Lee: But it could be something really important!
Heihachi: Yeah, like dumping chocolate on top of my head this time...not to mention adding a cherry on top...
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
(five minutes later...)
Heihachi: (has fingers in his ears with his teeth clenched) If that idiot thinks he can fool me, he's got another thing coming..
Lee: (who has earplugs in) I think we should anwser now!!!
Heihachi: You go!!
Lee: Fine. (walks up to the door and opens it)
Paul: (waves glumly) Hi guys.
Lee: What seems to be the problem?
Paul: Nina kicked me out, I don't know why though, is it because of the mechanical parrot migration to my bedroom?
Lee and Heihachi: (stare at Paul strangely) O_O...
Paul: Any way, what should I do?
Lee: Well, if I were in the same predicament as you are, I would start getting a part-time job.
Heihachi: Well, that sounds good to me!
Lee: I think you would do that too, seeing that you have a really huge bill you have to pay off...
Heihachi: WHAAAATTT!!!??
Lee: You heard me straight, father. You need that money to pay off that debt you had from ordering those CD's and magazines...
Heihachi: ... All right, but YOU are going to help us, too! I have to earn this money to keep you under this roof, since you are my son, and I can't risk losing you!
Lee: -_-' Touché...very well then, shall we head off?
Paul: I know how to drive!!!
(in Heihachi's limousine)
Heihachi: And I got the limo and the place to go for quick cash! To Marshall China!!!
Paul: Watch your step! (puts the pedal to the metal)
Lee: Are you sure about Thi---(gets cut off by Paul's reckless driving)
(Twenty minutes, twelve broken fire hydrants, three bathroom breaks, and sixteen fender-benders later...)
(We see the limo in the parking lot near Marshall China, completely thrashed, thanks to Paul's "driving")
Lee: (steps out of the limo) Paul, *cough cough* I think..*cough* we should let *WHEEZE* someone else...drive... (goes into a fit of coughs)
Heihachi: Yeah, *cough hack* your driving... *cough cough* REEKS!!! Thanks a lot...
Paul: You're welcome!! (thinks for a moment) Wait a minute, I think I had my license repossessed!!!
Heihachi: *cough cough* NOW he tells me!
(So the three walk to Marshall China, where they are greeted by a familiar person...)
Law: Hello, M-boys! Welcome to Marshall China! You want a reservation, yes?
Lee: Well, not exactly..you see..
Heihachi: (interrupts Lee) We wanna get jobs to earn ourselves money, and we heard that your restaurant is the best one in town, so we decided to work for ya!!
Law: Is this true, Down-on-your-luck M-boys?
Paul: Yup!! And we brought sausage, see? (holds up some sausage links)
Law: This is a very brave thing you do, desperate M-boys, for Law now welcomes you to the great MARSHALL CHINA!!!
Heihachi: We're gonna be rich again...(snickers)
Lee: (looks up hopefully) Do not worry, for we will help you serve the customers well!
Paul: Ahh... (starts drooling)
Law: Very good, now let's get to work!
Paul: (still drooling)
Lee: Um, Paul?
(in the kitchen of Marshall China...)
Law: For us to start, I shall assign the nick-names to prevent confusion, Half-Brain M-Boy, you are now Nincompoop.
Paul: Nincompoop?
Law: Yes, Nincompoop! You have a problem with that?
Paul: No way, that name is cool!!!
Law: Let's continue on, Silver-hair M-Boy, you now go by the name of Wishful Kit Fox, since you do have the will and desire to learn all about the Marshall China cuisines...
Lee: Well, I always wanted to learn about different culinary delights here...
Law: And you, Loud-mouth-old-pain-in-the-arse M-boy, you will go by the name of...Fart head!!!
Heihachi: (P'Oed) Fart head? Fart head!? FART HEAD!? WHAT KIND OF STUPID, RETARDED, (bleep)ING NAME IS FART HEAD!!!!???
Law: Work for Law, or no pay for Nincompoop and Fart head!!!
Heihachi: Fine, (starts doing the dishes and grumbling)
Law: First we shall learn the art of ... making sushi! (holds out a piece of sushi)
Paul: Wow, it has my eyes..
Heihachi: And your seaweed for a brain! XD
Law: Now, pay attention! First we..
(As Law carried on with the conversation of sushi, fried rice, and Peking duck, and the dangers of using toilet cleaner, Lee paid very close attention jotting down notes, Heihachi was taking a doze, and Paul, well..)
Paul: (watching TV)
TV: You are watching the Random Channel, where we put in different shows, cuz' we feel like it!!! Like this...
( TV shows Marduk being hit on the head by a coconut)
Paul: Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! That's funny!!!
TV: If you act now, we'll send you this free TOILET PAPER!!! Our lines are standing by for your call! And now we bring you our movie, "Mutant Dishwashers from planet Jet Dry"!!!
Paul: Cool!
( Then, Law walks by and sees Paul, watching TV)
Law: How many times must Law tell you? Get to work, or no pay for Nincompoop!
Paul: Aww, boss...can't I have about ten more minutes?
Law: Hmmm... Okay, ten more minutes, but after that, back to work!
Paul: YAAY!!!!!
TV: (Shows Marduk being hit on the head with a coconut...again.)
Paul: Ha ha ha ha ..I like this show!
(In the kitchen)
Heihachi: (grumbling while doing the dishes) Fart head do this, Fart head do that...thinks he owns the dang place...what am I, his dish monkey? I'll show him who's the dish monkey...
Lee: (Who's preparing the fried rice) Father, is there anything wrong?
Heihachi: Yeah, Law and his bossiness are what's wrong!!! I hate it when I'm being ordered to do the dishes by some slave-driver!!!
Lee: Don't worry about Mr. Law, he's just trying to tell you to do your best for this place. You do want the customers to be happy so they can tip you, right?
Heihachi: You know what? You've inspired me to do something extraordinary!
Lee: Really?
Heihachi: Yeah!!! I'm gonna make the most amzing sculpture made of fried rice!!!
Lee: O_O Wha...? Ur...father, I...
Heihachi: You heard me, I'm gonna make the greatest fried rice sculpture ever! Guinness Book of World Records, here I come!
Lee: O_O' ...
Heihachi: It's gonna be BIG, I tell ya! Oh, Paul!!!!
Paul: (pops his head in) Yeah, Heihachi?
Heihachi: Get me 100 pounds of fried rice, stat!
Paul: Okey-dokey, smokey!! (rushes over to the supply closet)
Heihachi: We're gonna be rich, rich, RICH I tell ya!!!
(half an hour later...)
Heihachi: Well, I guess it's done now!
Paul: Gravy!!
Lee: (just standing there with his mouth gaping open) ...
Heihachi: Speaking of which, all we need is to fill it with soy sauce, drag it out, and show it to everyone, and then we'll be millionaires!!!
( Inside the restaurant )
Law: Oh, ho! What are you M-boys up to this time?
Heihachi: We want to show you something that's way out of the ordinary!
Paul: With chestnuts!
Heihachi: Just follow me right this way and you'll be in for a surprise!
Lee: Are you sure about showing it to him?
Heihachi: Of course! Law is an understanding fellow, like us!
Paul: And potato chips!
( Outside, in the park... we see a huge thing with a white tarp covered over it)
Heihachi: Now... (unveils the "creation" ) feast your eyes on this!!!
Paul: (on top of the "creation") Ta-da!!!
( Law is now staring at a giant toilet made of fried rice with soy sauce filled in the bowl)
Heihachi: Brilliant, huh? I know, I know, you're speechless with amazement...this is a really great masterpiece, and I'd be gawking at it all day long too!
Lee: I don't think he's surprised in a good way...
Heihachi: What do you mean? This is pure top A-1 quality!
Law: WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOO GOO GAI PAN IS THIS CONTRAPTION!!!!!?
Paul: (now stripped down to his briefs) Am I a nincompoop or what?
Law: I deduct this from your pay...
*SPLASH!!!!*
(Paul just jumped into the soy sauce, splashing it all over Lee, Heihachi, and Law, who doesn't seem to be too happy about it.)
Heihachi: (a little nervous) Heh heh heh, well, what do you think, Stretch? Do you wanna put it up for display?
Law: (now P. O.'ed) Grr...M-BOYS!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!
Heihachi: What!?
Lee: I told you this wouldn't be a good idea...
Heihachi: Oh, shut up...(turns to Law) you can't fire us, you know why? BECAUSE WE QUIT!!!!!!
(So the three walk off from Marshall China into the streets)
Heihachi: I can't believe it... All that money, gone!
Lee: Well, maybe if you made your own restaurant, it would be a different story.
Heihachi: That's it! I'm gonna open my own restaurant and get my own money, MY WAY!!!! (So, a few days, 20 Be-bop Colas, and 15 hours of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure later...)
(We're at the town again, and Nina and Kuma are in there, too...)
Nina: Ok, Kuma, all we need is air freshener and...( notices a new building in town) What on Earth is THAT!?
Kuma: Oh my goodness! It's a new restaurant !!!!
( The restaurant is called "The King of Iron Wok" , and on the billboard nearby it says, "guaranteed to please you, or I'll throw my son of a cliff, and not my adopted one, either!!!!")
Kuma: Let's go in there, please!?
Nina: Oh, Okay...
(Inside...)
Kuma: See, Nina? This place is really fancy!!!
Nina: Yeah, a little too fancy...
( Then we see one of the waiters, who is Noriaki Kakyoin)
Kakyoin: Good evening, Madam and um...bear....., may I take your order please?
Kuma: I'd like to have the Chaolan Sushi Special, please!
Nina: And I want a Paul Malted, and don't skimp on the froth!
Kakyoin: Will that be all?
Nina: Yep.
Kakyoin: Thank you. Your order will be ready shortly.
(at another table, there is another waiter (who is Lee) who's having quite a time with his customer...)
Lee: Hello there, sir. May I take your order?
Yoshimitsu: Don't ask me! This was Blade's idea to come here! (points to his katana, which is in a separate seat)
Lee: O_O' Urm...okay...
Yoshi: (talking to Blade) Whad'ya mean a Paul Pheonix a la King for you, and a couple of breadsticks for the bald freak!?
Lee: (who's walking to the kicthen door) Excuse me, but...
Paul: (opens the door) Oh, no you don't!!! Too many chefs spoil the galoshes, Mr. Lee!!!
Lee: Ur...okay, here. (hads Paul the orders)
Paul: (reads the orders, then smiles) I will wake them up!!!! (slams the door)
(Inside the kitchen, we see Paul, Little Bill, and a couple of Oompa- Loompas standing around)
Paul: Okay, you all know the drill, right?
Little Bill: We sure do!
Paul: Okay, a-one, and a-two, and a-three, four ready GO! (turns on the radio)
(And everyone in the kitchen is dancing to the theme song of "Waynehead")
(A couple of minutes later, in the dining hall...)
Nina: (who is apparently tired of waiting) ...THAT'S IT!!!! Come on, Kuma, we'll go home and eat!!!
Heihachi: (who just blazed out of his office) Wait a minute! The food's gonna be ready by now!!!
(Then, out of the kitchen, we see a big dish with a big lid, on wheels, scooting over to Yoshi and Blade's table)
Lee: Wonderful presentation, Paul! I never knew you had it in you!!! (turns to Yoshi) Well, I hope you enjoy your meal! (takes off the lid) Bon Apet-
Yoshi: (is shocked) O_O' AAGH!!! For cryin' out loud!!!
Lee: PAUL!!! WHAT IN BLUE BLAZES ARE YOU DOING!!!!
( Paul is on the dish, naked, complete with the trimmings and an apple in his mouth)
Paul: ( pouring gravy on himself) Stuffing, anybody?
Heihachi: PAUL!!! YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!!! GET YOUR CLOTHES ON AND MAKE SOME DECENT MEALS FOR ONCE!!!!
( Then all of a sudden, dun dun dun...THE HEALTH INSPECTOR comes in!!!!
Health Inspector: Hello, I'm here to see if your place is fit for dining...
Heihachi: Oh, sure!!! (quickly covers Paul with the dish lid) Heh heh heh... come on in!
( Heihachi walks the health inspector in)
Heihachi: Now, sit yourself down, and prepare to be blown away by our culinary expertise!!!
Lee: (Sarcastically) Wow, I guess tutoring has really paid off, hasn't it...
Heihachi: Now, what would our wonderful guest like to order?
Inspector: Well, I would like a...
Paul: (who seems to be speaking from the dish cover) Hey, I know that voice...hey, Heihachi!!!! Is that JoJo!?
Heihachi: (whispering) Paul, keep your mouth shut...
Paul: OMG!!! (flips off the dish lid) It's Jotaro Kujo, from "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure"!!!! (jumps off the dish and runs up to him) Hey JoJo!!! Can I get your autograph!?
Jotaro: (notices Paul running towards him) Holy...
Lee: Watch out! (tackles Jotaro out of the way of the "rabid fanboy")
Jotaro: That is just disturbing...
Little Bill: (pops out of the kitchen) That's not disturbing...(rips off his clothes) THIS is disturbing!!! (dances naked in front of Jotaro and the others)
(A/N: Don't worry, they have censor bars, so you don't have to be "blinded by their earthly delights"...)
Jotaro: I'm afraid this would come down to this...(sighs, then writes something on a sheet of paper) Well, I'm speechless..(puts an "F" on the restaurant)
Heihachi: WHAAAATT!!! (gets really angry) Now you hold on a second, bucko! Do you know how long it took for us to get this restaurant up and running!?
Jotaro: No, but I know what caused it to stop running...
Heihachi: Why you little... (Charges after Jotaro and was about to punch him in the face, but amazingly, Jotaro blocks it) WHAT THE HECK!?
Jotaro: You just don't learn, do you? (summons his stand Star Platinum)
Lee: Looks like you're in trouble, dad...
Paul: Holy Macaroni!
Jotaro: Ora Ora Ora Ora!!!! ( Beats Heihachi to the walls using Blazing Fists)
Heihachi: Grrmmmphh...
(Jotaro walks out of the restaurant, leaving our three "entrepreneurs" Penniless, clueless, and just plain bruised, in Heihachi's case.)
(At the hospital)
(We see Heihachi in the hospital bed, with an arm and leg cast, and with a couple of other bandages)
Lee: (who is serving tea) Well, what have we learned today?
Heihachi: That we shouldn't insult health inspectors, because, (shifts eyes) they are freaky and are not from this world...
Paul: And Heihachi is the man with the scam!!!!
Heihachi: Oh shut up, Paul... (throws the tea tray at Paul's face)
Scam analysis:
Four-star Restaurant: ....Failed
THE END...For now...
Disclaimer: Heihachi and the gang belong to Tekken, Jotaro Kujo and Noriaki Kakyoin belong to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. I don't own either. Have a nice day.
Part 3!!!
Heihachi: Oh yeah, we're great!! We're hot!! We're cookin' in the spot!!!!
Lee: That's really nice..but shouldn't we be starting on our story now?
Heihachi: Just a few more minutes...
Lee: -_-..
TEH STORIEIEY!!!
Heihachi: PAUL!!!!!!!
Paul: What is it, Mr. Heihachi?
Heihachi: You see THAT? (points to the misspelled title)
Paul: Um.. Are we going to Super Mario World?
Heihachi: No, you retard! You misspelled the title again! If this keeps up, you know what happens?
Paul: We go to Super Mario World!!!
Heihachi: NO!!! I AM GOING TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP ACTING LIKE A TOTAL IDIOT AND START DOING THINGS RIGHT!!!
Paul: Does that mean we can't visit Bowser?
Heihachi: (starts fuming) Grr..
( So it starts out with Paul getting kicked out of his house, because Nina wants him to get a job)
(at Heihachi's house)
Paul: Hey, guys? Guys? (starts ringing the doorbell)
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
(Inside)
Lee: Father, I think we should let him in.
Heihachi: No way! Remember last time I answered the door?
*DING-DONG*
Heihachi: (opens the door) Who is *SPLOOOSH!!* (a gallon of soda gets dumped on his head) Grrr... I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!!!
Lee: But it could be something really important!
Heihachi: Yeah, like dumping chocolate on top of my head this time...not to mention adding a cherry on top...
*DING-DONG*
*DING-DONG*
(five minutes later...)
Heihachi: (has fingers in his ears with his teeth clenched) If that idiot thinks he can fool me, he's got another thing coming..
Lee: (who has earplugs in) I think we should anwser now!!!
Heihachi: You go!!
Lee: Fine. (walks up to the door and opens it)
Paul: (waves glumly) Hi guys.
Lee: What seems to be the problem?
Paul: Nina kicked me out, I don't know why though, is it because of the mechanical parrot migration to my bedroom?
Lee and Heihachi: (stare at Paul strangely) O_O...
Paul: Any way, what should I do?
Lee: Well, if I were in the same predicament as you are, I would start getting a part-time job.
Heihachi: Well, that sounds good to me!
Lee: I think you would do that too, seeing that you have a really huge bill you have to pay off...
Heihachi: WHAAAATTT!!!??
Lee: You heard me straight, father. You need that money to pay off that debt you had from ordering those CD's and magazines...
Heihachi: ... All right, but YOU are going to help us, too! I have to earn this money to keep you under this roof, since you are my son, and I can't risk losing you!
Lee: -_-' Touché...very well then, shall we head off?
Paul: I know how to drive!!!
(in Heihachi's limousine)
Heihachi: And I got the limo and the place to go for quick cash! To Marshall China!!!
Paul: Watch your step! (puts the pedal to the metal)
Lee: Are you sure about Thi---(gets cut off by Paul's reckless driving)
(Twenty minutes, twelve broken fire hydrants, three bathroom breaks, and sixteen fender-benders later...)
(We see the limo in the parking lot near Marshall China, completely thrashed, thanks to Paul's "driving")
Lee: (steps out of the limo) Paul, *cough cough* I think..*cough* we should let *WHEEZE* someone else...drive... (goes into a fit of coughs)
Heihachi: Yeah, *cough hack* your driving... *cough cough* REEKS!!! Thanks a lot...
Paul: You're welcome!! (thinks for a moment) Wait a minute, I think I had my license repossessed!!!
Heihachi: *cough cough* NOW he tells me!
(So the three walk to Marshall China, where they are greeted by a familiar person...)
Law: Hello, M-boys! Welcome to Marshall China! You want a reservation, yes?
Lee: Well, not exactly..you see..
Heihachi: (interrupts Lee) We wanna get jobs to earn ourselves money, and we heard that your restaurant is the best one in town, so we decided to work for ya!!
Law: Is this true, Down-on-your-luck M-boys?
Paul: Yup!! And we brought sausage, see? (holds up some sausage links)
Law: This is a very brave thing you do, desperate M-boys, for Law now welcomes you to the great MARSHALL CHINA!!!
Heihachi: We're gonna be rich again...(snickers)
Lee: (looks up hopefully) Do not worry, for we will help you serve the customers well!
Paul: Ahh... (starts drooling)
Law: Very good, now let's get to work!
Paul: (still drooling)
Lee: Um, Paul?
(in the kitchen of Marshall China...)
Law: For us to start, I shall assign the nick-names to prevent confusion, Half-Brain M-Boy, you are now Nincompoop.
Paul: Nincompoop?
Law: Yes, Nincompoop! You have a problem with that?
Paul: No way, that name is cool!!!
Law: Let's continue on, Silver-hair M-Boy, you now go by the name of Wishful Kit Fox, since you do have the will and desire to learn all about the Marshall China cuisines...
Lee: Well, I always wanted to learn about different culinary delights here...
Law: And you, Loud-mouth-old-pain-in-the-arse M-boy, you will go by the name of...Fart head!!!
Heihachi: (P'Oed) Fart head? Fart head!? FART HEAD!? WHAT KIND OF STUPID, RETARDED, (bleep)ING NAME IS FART HEAD!!!!???
Law: Work for Law, or no pay for Nincompoop and Fart head!!!
Heihachi: Fine, (starts doing the dishes and grumbling)
Law: First we shall learn the art of ... making sushi! (holds out a piece of sushi)
Paul: Wow, it has my eyes..
Heihachi: And your seaweed for a brain! XD
Law: Now, pay attention! First we..
(As Law carried on with the conversation of sushi, fried rice, and Peking duck, and the dangers of using toilet cleaner, Lee paid very close attention jotting down notes, Heihachi was taking a doze, and Paul, well..)
Paul: (watching TV)
TV: You are watching the Random Channel, where we put in different shows, cuz' we feel like it!!! Like this...
( TV shows Marduk being hit on the head by a coconut)
Paul: Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! That's funny!!!
TV: If you act now, we'll send you this free TOILET PAPER!!! Our lines are standing by for your call! And now we bring you our movie, "Mutant Dishwashers from planet Jet Dry"!!!
Paul: Cool!
( Then, Law walks by and sees Paul, watching TV)
Law: How many times must Law tell you? Get to work, or no pay for Nincompoop!
Paul: Aww, boss...can't I have about ten more minutes?
Law: Hmmm... Okay, ten more minutes, but after that, back to work!
Paul: YAAY!!!!!
TV: (Shows Marduk being hit on the head with a coconut...again.)
Paul: Ha ha ha ha ..I like this show!
(In the kitchen)
Heihachi: (grumbling while doing the dishes) Fart head do this, Fart head do that...thinks he owns the dang place...what am I, his dish monkey? I'll show him who's the dish monkey...
Lee: (Who's preparing the fried rice) Father, is there anything wrong?
Heihachi: Yeah, Law and his bossiness are what's wrong!!! I hate it when I'm being ordered to do the dishes by some slave-driver!!!
Lee: Don't worry about Mr. Law, he's just trying to tell you to do your best for this place. You do want the customers to be happy so they can tip you, right?
Heihachi: You know what? You've inspired me to do something extraordinary!
Lee: Really?
Heihachi: Yeah!!! I'm gonna make the most amzing sculpture made of fried rice!!!
Lee: O_O Wha...? Ur...father, I...
Heihachi: You heard me, I'm gonna make the greatest fried rice sculpture ever! Guinness Book of World Records, here I come!
Lee: O_O' ...
Heihachi: It's gonna be BIG, I tell ya! Oh, Paul!!!!
Paul: (pops his head in) Yeah, Heihachi?
Heihachi: Get me 100 pounds of fried rice, stat!
Paul: Okey-dokey, smokey!! (rushes over to the supply closet)
Heihachi: We're gonna be rich, rich, RICH I tell ya!!!
(half an hour later...)
Heihachi: Well, I guess it's done now!
Paul: Gravy!!
Lee: (just standing there with his mouth gaping open) ...
Heihachi: Speaking of which, all we need is to fill it with soy sauce, drag it out, and show it to everyone, and then we'll be millionaires!!!
( Inside the restaurant )
Law: Oh, ho! What are you M-boys up to this time?
Heihachi: We want to show you something that's way out of the ordinary!
Paul: With chestnuts!
Heihachi: Just follow me right this way and you'll be in for a surprise!
Lee: Are you sure about showing it to him?
Heihachi: Of course! Law is an understanding fellow, like us!
Paul: And potato chips!
( Outside, in the park... we see a huge thing with a white tarp covered over it)
Heihachi: Now... (unveils the "creation" ) feast your eyes on this!!!
Paul: (on top of the "creation") Ta-da!!!
( Law is now staring at a giant toilet made of fried rice with soy sauce filled in the bowl)
Heihachi: Brilliant, huh? I know, I know, you're speechless with amazement...this is a really great masterpiece, and I'd be gawking at it all day long too!
Lee: I don't think he's surprised in a good way...
Heihachi: What do you mean? This is pure top A-1 quality!
Law: WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOO GOO GAI PAN IS THIS CONTRAPTION!!!!!?
Paul: (now stripped down to his briefs) Am I a nincompoop or what?
Law: I deduct this from your pay...
*SPLASH!!!!*
(Paul just jumped into the soy sauce, splashing it all over Lee, Heihachi, and Law, who doesn't seem to be too happy about it.)
Heihachi: (a little nervous) Heh heh heh, well, what do you think, Stretch? Do you wanna put it up for display?
Law: (now P. O.'ed) Grr...M-BOYS!!! YOU'RE FIRED!!!!!!!!!!!
Heihachi: What!?
Lee: I told you this wouldn't be a good idea...
Heihachi: Oh, shut up...(turns to Law) you can't fire us, you know why? BECAUSE WE QUIT!!!!!!
(So the three walk off from Marshall China into the streets)
Heihachi: I can't believe it... All that money, gone!
Lee: Well, maybe if you made your own restaurant, it would be a different story.
Heihachi: That's it! I'm gonna open my own restaurant and get my own money, MY WAY!!!! (So, a few days, 20 Be-bop Colas, and 15 hours of JoJo's Bizarre Adventure later...)
(We're at the town again, and Nina and Kuma are in there, too...)
Nina: Ok, Kuma, all we need is air freshener and...( notices a new building in town) What on Earth is THAT!?
Kuma: Oh my goodness! It's a new restaurant !!!!
( The restaurant is called "The King of Iron Wok" , and on the billboard nearby it says, "guaranteed to please you, or I'll throw my son of a cliff, and not my adopted one, either!!!!")
Kuma: Let's go in there, please!?
Nina: Oh, Okay...
(Inside...)
Kuma: See, Nina? This place is really fancy!!!
Nina: Yeah, a little too fancy...
( Then we see one of the waiters, who is Noriaki Kakyoin)
Kakyoin: Good evening, Madam and um...bear....., may I take your order please?
Kuma: I'd like to have the Chaolan Sushi Special, please!
Nina: And I want a Paul Malted, and don't skimp on the froth!
Kakyoin: Will that be all?
Nina: Yep.
Kakyoin: Thank you. Your order will be ready shortly.
(at another table, there is another waiter (who is Lee) who's having quite a time with his customer...)
Lee: Hello there, sir. May I take your order?
Yoshimitsu: Don't ask me! This was Blade's idea to come here! (points to his katana, which is in a separate seat)
Lee: O_O' Urm...okay...
Yoshi: (talking to Blade) Whad'ya mean a Paul Pheonix a la King for you, and a couple of breadsticks for the bald freak!?
Lee: (who's walking to the kicthen door) Excuse me, but...
Paul: (opens the door) Oh, no you don't!!! Too many chefs spoil the galoshes, Mr. Lee!!!
Lee: Ur...okay, here. (hads Paul the orders)
Paul: (reads the orders, then smiles) I will wake them up!!!! (slams the door)
(Inside the kitchen, we see Paul, Little Bill, and a couple of Oompa- Loompas standing around)
Paul: Okay, you all know the drill, right?
Little Bill: We sure do!
Paul: Okay, a-one, and a-two, and a-three, four ready GO! (turns on the radio)
(And everyone in the kitchen is dancing to the theme song of "Waynehead")
(A couple of minutes later, in the dining hall...)
Nina: (who is apparently tired of waiting) ...THAT'S IT!!!! Come on, Kuma, we'll go home and eat!!!
Heihachi: (who just blazed out of his office) Wait a minute! The food's gonna be ready by now!!!
(Then, out of the kitchen, we see a big dish with a big lid, on wheels, scooting over to Yoshi and Blade's table)
Lee: Wonderful presentation, Paul! I never knew you had it in you!!! (turns to Yoshi) Well, I hope you enjoy your meal! (takes off the lid) Bon Apet-
Yoshi: (is shocked) O_O' AAGH!!! For cryin' out loud!!!
Lee: PAUL!!! WHAT IN BLUE BLAZES ARE YOU DOING!!!!
( Paul is on the dish, naked, complete with the trimmings and an apple in his mouth)
Paul: ( pouring gravy on himself) Stuffing, anybody?
Heihachi: PAUL!!! YOU STUPID EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING!!! GET YOUR CLOTHES ON AND MAKE SOME DECENT MEALS FOR ONCE!!!!
( Then all of a sudden, dun dun dun...THE HEALTH INSPECTOR comes in!!!!
Health Inspector: Hello, I'm here to see if your place is fit for dining...
Heihachi: Oh, sure!!! (quickly covers Paul with the dish lid) Heh heh heh... come on in!
( Heihachi walks the health inspector in)
Heihachi: Now, sit yourself down, and prepare to be blown away by our culinary expertise!!!
Lee: (Sarcastically) Wow, I guess tutoring has really paid off, hasn't it...
Heihachi: Now, what would our wonderful guest like to order?
Inspector: Well, I would like a...
Paul: (who seems to be speaking from the dish cover) Hey, I know that voice...hey, Heihachi!!!! Is that JoJo!?
Heihachi: (whispering) Paul, keep your mouth shut...
Paul: OMG!!! (flips off the dish lid) It's Jotaro Kujo, from "JoJo's Bizarre Adventure"!!!! (jumps off the dish and runs up to him) Hey JoJo!!! Can I get your autograph!?
Jotaro: (notices Paul running towards him) Holy...
Lee: Watch out! (tackles Jotaro out of the way of the "rabid fanboy")
Jotaro: That is just disturbing...
Little Bill: (pops out of the kitchen) That's not disturbing...(rips off his clothes) THIS is disturbing!!! (dances naked in front of Jotaro and the others)
(A/N: Don't worry, they have censor bars, so you don't have to be "blinded by their earthly delights"...)
Jotaro: I'm afraid this would come down to this...(sighs, then writes something on a sheet of paper) Well, I'm speechless..(puts an "F" on the restaurant)
Heihachi: WHAAAATT!!! (gets really angry) Now you hold on a second, bucko! Do you know how long it took for us to get this restaurant up and running!?
Jotaro: No, but I know what caused it to stop running...
Heihachi: Why you little... (Charges after Jotaro and was about to punch him in the face, but amazingly, Jotaro blocks it) WHAT THE HECK!?
Jotaro: You just don't learn, do you? (summons his stand Star Platinum)
Lee: Looks like you're in trouble, dad...
Paul: Holy Macaroni!
Jotaro: Ora Ora Ora Ora!!!! ( Beats Heihachi to the walls using Blazing Fists)
Heihachi: Grrmmmphh...
(Jotaro walks out of the restaurant, leaving our three "entrepreneurs" Penniless, clueless, and just plain bruised, in Heihachi's case.)
(At the hospital)
(We see Heihachi in the hospital bed, with an arm and leg cast, and with a couple of other bandages)
Lee: (who is serving tea) Well, what have we learned today?
Heihachi: That we shouldn't insult health inspectors, because, (shifts eyes) they are freaky and are not from this world...
Paul: And Heihachi is the man with the scam!!!!
Heihachi: Oh shut up, Paul... (throws the tea tray at Paul's face)
Scam analysis:
Four-star Restaurant: ....Failed
THE END...For now...
Disclaimer: Heihachi and the gang belong to Tekken, Jotaro Kujo and Noriaki Kakyoin belong to JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. I don't own either. Have a nice day.