Author: hello and welcome, I've finally had another sugar rush, so I was able to wright another chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own legend of zelda
enjoy the fic
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dragon roaster, the big pointy rock...thing
Were finally here:screamed red as he looked at the island. Ya, we know now shut the hell up : replied Link who was sitting near the back of the boat tiring to get a tan. Reds response to this was knocking link, with his mast, onto the shore.
Link, this is the first location, climb to the top of the very high, very steep, very pointy rock thing and meet with valoo he should have one of my balls : stated red as he looked at link.
Link glanced up the mountain before looking at red and yelling: you want me to climb THAT, are you F!$KING CRAZY.
Why yes, yes I am : replied red as his eye started to twitch. Link backed away at this point. Look, why I deal with my insanity, go check out what that shop has to offer, link just nodded and entered the shop/boat.
When link entered he looked around to see a man being swarmed by flies, link looked at him for a moment before speaking: hello, do you happen to have any thing useful that might come in handy on a mystical adventure to recover the lost balls of a taking boat ?
The salesman looked at him before replying: nope but we have a wonderful selection of crap.
Link looked at him in a confused way: um excuse me did you just say you had a selection of crap. Salesman face brightened: yes sir! We have a great collection of crap, shit, holy shit, brown shit, yellow shit, green shit, manure, cow pie, owl pellets,-
link slowly started to walk out the door: um-I've got to go, bye., link ran out the door as the salesman waved to him and yelling: have a craptastic day.
Out side the boat, you could here the singing of a person about how craptastic shit is, that was until the ship exploded into a huge wall of flame, While link and red were outside watching it burn with cloth pins on there nose's.
ha! I told you it would still float, even with a ton and a half of burning shit on it, now cough up the rubbies :yelled link as red handed him the rubbies.
Sigh... now I'm broke again, say link, how much C 4 did you use :Asked red curiously
Link looked up from counting his rubbies: 3 pounds, why do you ask ?
Nothing, just wondering, now it's time for you to get my ball back : stated red as he picked link up and threw him all the way to the top, while link was cursing red out all the way.
When link got there, he found a winged girl trapped behind a jail like structure. When she saw him, she cried out for him to come over, link complied as he moved towards the prison.
The girl looked at him before talking: my good sir, please free me from my prison. Link thought for a moment before replying: no
The girl looked at him confused: why not?
I don't feel like it :replied link as he shrugged.
Please help me : yelled the girl
no :replied link calmly
Please
No
Please
No
Please
How about you give me all your stuff : replied link as he held out his hand's
She thought for a moment before removing every thing but her clothes and handed it to link: now will you get me out! Link looked at her for a moment before replying: what? Hell no! When did I ever say I was going to free you, well it's best I be on my way now, thanks for your stuff, he then began to walk up the stairs.
The girl reflected before saying: son of a b-
BACK TO LINK
Link had found the dragon on top of the mountain doing nothing...not even breathing.
Link walked towards him while saying: valoo, the wind spirt, give me back red's ball
valoo looked at him before replying: no, not with out my bunny slippers
Link was now confused: your bunny slippers?
valoo looked at him again: yes, my big ass bunny slippers, if you can get them then I'll gladly give red his ball back, as he again did nothing
link mumbled something before replying: fine, I'll get your slipper's, link then walked towards valoo, now move your fatass so I can face the boss of this place.
valoo nodded as he moved from his spot reviling a small hole, link jumped down it.
When he arrived, link only had to what a moment before the boss bursted from the lava and reviled that he was wearing them on his hands/ claws.
Link waited for the monster to quite down before pointing at it and yelling: HEY, MONSTER, GIVE ME BACK THE BUNNY SLIPPERS
NO! they make me feel warm inside : replied the boss, as he hugged the slippers to it's chest
Link waved his hand: you will give me the slippers
I will give you the slippers : replied the monster as it dropped the slippers
Link waved his hand again: You will send them straight to valoo.
I will send them straight to valoo : the monster teleported the slippers back to valoo, who teleported the ball back to red.
Link waved his hand for the final time: you will kill your self, I will kill my self : replied the monster as it used one of it's claws to decapitate it's self, causing link to disappear in a swirling whirlwind, and reappear next to red.
Link for gaining the first of my balls , I'm to give you a useless stick that has no mystical powers what so ever, it's called the wind waker : red said while he threw the waker to link, which he used o pick his nose with , now come on, the next of the pearls is in some forest area.
So link and red sailed off into the sunset, but not before link pushed a button causing roaster island to blow up due to the C 4 he planted.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
author: please R & R