Disclaimer: Argh! Running out of disclaimers! Don't own basically. Got that?
Thanks to the following reviewers: Kates Master's Sister, NazgulGirl, Tai Greywing, blvd, dreamergirl88, sugur-huny-bun, Trainer Krystal, Alex202, MoonylovesFlo, Lilyflower28, life2me and HeatherGernenz!
A/N: SURPRISE! (muses and Mei bounce out of hiding places)
A long note from the author:
Okay! I've started my faster updates prematurely forfourreasons.
One, I'm a nice kind (if a little stupid at times) person! And you're all wonderful people who deserve faster updates for sticking with me.
Two, MOST IMPORTANT REASON. I have waded my way through the sticky swampy bit of chapter 34 and the end is in sight. 34 and 35 have to be completed, and 36 has to be written then I'm done!
Three, its been nearly six months since I started this story, and the muses are making a party of it. Jack is singing, Doc is dancing, Fred is basking in the reflected glory of his master piece (ie this fanfiction) and Helen is eating all the chocolate she can lay her little hands/paws on.
Finalreason, I just want to make this clear. I DID NOT WRITE 101 WAYS TO ANNOY VOLDEMORT! I just borrowed it for Random Scribblings. Lady Mearle found it on Mugglenet and decided it would be fun to try some of the ideas (ie, telling Voldemort he is mildly depressed and a bit of a control freak, or taunting him about his middle name(What? Marvolo does sound like a washing detergent!). The person who did write it possesses a good sense of humour. My sense of humour is slight. Sorry I didn't make this clear before. All I can say is 'I wish JKR could read my work!'
Looking back on my last chapter… almost 300 reviews! Wow!... I feel extremely overwhelmed…(muses crowd round as Tash hits the floor) Fred: Yowch! That's gotta hurt! Helen: Well the floor is made of wood. Fred: Think we should revive her? Helen: Nah! Let's play twister!
Chapter 27
On Saturday morning Lily awoke to find herself back in her room at home. Then she remembered what day it was and groaned aloud.
"Lily!" her mother called from downstairs. "Petunia's here!"
Groaning some more Lily dragged herself out of bed pocketing her wand in her dressing gown pocket. She walked downstairs to find James and her father having a discussion about school. Her mother was busy with the kettle and Petunia was sitting at the table with a (very scary looking) happy expression on her face.
As Lily sat down a sixth person entered the room carrying a large suitcase. Lily grinned as she recognised her cousin.
"Rachel!" she cried. Her cousin dropped the bag, squeaked and threw her arms around Lily.
"Lils! You're out of school!"
"Well I wasn't about to miss my sisters wedding," Lily said, adding just a hint of sarcasm to her statement. She couldn't help it, and she had missed her cousin who was a special favourite. Rachel was one of the only people in her family who knew that she was a witch. She was fifteen and had dark red hair like Lily and her father, and blue eyes.
"Where are your parents?" she asked looking for her aunt and uncle.
"Hasn't you're mother told you?" Rachel asked. Lily shook her head. "Dad isn't well so mum stayed with him whilst I came here. They said it would be a shame if I had to miss it."
"Rachel's going to be staying with us for the weekend," Mrs Evans said, placing tea on the table for them. "She'll be with you Lily since James has the spare room."
"Aren't you going to introduce me to your boyfriend Lily?" Rachel asked, glancing over her shoulder at James.
"Sorry," Lily said. "James this is Rachel. Rachel this is James."
"As in the one you always used to complain about whenever I saw you?" Rachel asked starting to grin. "The one who was so exceedingly arrogant and immature that you couldn't stand to be in the same room as him?"
"Rach!" Lily cringed. "That was a long time ago!"
"Apparently I've matured in the last year," James added as Lily, red faced, sat down next to him. The bottom dropped out of Lily's stomach as an owl swooped in with a special edition of the paper.
"Not again," Lily groaned, grabbing the paper and reading the headlines. Rachel was looking in curiosity.
"What's that?" she asked.
"Wizard newspaper," James explained. "What's happened?"
"Those Death Eaters they caught got released without charges!" Lily said in outrage.
"What!" James asked leaning over to read the headline.
"They all said they were under the imperius curse!" Lily said. "If that's not the biggest load of rubbish I've ever heard then Bellatrix is the most intelligent person ever to have lived! Poor Jenny, she's going to be so upset."
"What are Death Eaters?" Rachel asked.
"Followers of Lord Voldemort," James said.
"Who's that?" Rachel asked still looking lost.
"A very evil wizard," Lily said putting down the paper in disgust. "They attacked Cardiff a few months ago. Only three of them were caught and now they've released them."
"And whilst I'm sure we all find this fascinating," Petunia interrupted with sarcasm worthy of the Slytherins. "The bridesmaids will be arriving any minute."
"I think this is a little more important than your wedding Petunia," Lily muttered, ripping open the paper again to check the list of deaths.
"Anyone we know?" James asked.
"No," Lily shook her head. "No one at all's been killed. They must be planning something big if they've waited this long."
There was a knock on the door and Petunia got up to answer it.
"Must be the Dursleys," Mrs Evans said. Sure enough Lily could see Petunia greeting two women at the door who could only be Vernons mother and sister.
"I'm going to escape," Rachel said. "Coming Lils?"
"Think I am," Lily said getting up and vowing to herself that she would get the shower before anyone else could.
OOO
"I pity you Lily," Rachel said.
"Everyone says that when they see the dress," Lily muttered looking at herself in the full length mirror in her room.
"I really do," Rachel said a smirk escaping her lips.
"You don't really, you're still laughing," Lily sighed.
"Sorry I just can't get over the skirt! How did you're friend describe it again?"
"Curtain maker gone bonkers," Lily said wishing she could speak to Jenny right now. Then she remembered the good luck potion and decided that she would tuck it into her pocket for later.
"Do you think if I took a couple of yards off the skirt Petunia would notice?"
"I don't think she would notice an earthquake right now," Rachel said. "She's too wrapped up in the flower arrangements and the caterers!" Lily nodded and pulled out her wand.
"Severo!"
"I'll never get used to you doing that," Rachel said as Lily proceeded to trim her skirt.
"Well it is helpful in cases like this," Lily said. "Okay that should be enough." She looked back into the mirror. "Ugh! It still looks terrible."
"Do mine ears deceive me?" said a voice from the door. "Or did the beautiful Miss Evans refer to her outfit as terrible?"
James was leaning against the doorframe watching Lily snarl in disgust at her reflection.
"Are your glasses messed up?" Lily asked. "I do not look beautiful in this outfit!"
"You always look beautiful in anything Lily," James said in earnest. Lily rolled her eyes.
"Flattery will get you everywhere," she muttered.
"The guests are arriving," James said gesturing downstairs. "Shall we?"
"If we have to," Lily sighed.
As they went downstairs they found the rest of the bridesmaids gossiping animatedly in the lounge. Mrs Evans was in all probability still helping Petunia to get ready. Lily, James and Rachel stood in a corner away from all of Petunia's giggling friends.
"James, mum said you'd be sitting by Rachel at the reception," Lily said. "I've got to sit at the top table."
"Okay as long as I get at least one dance from you," James said.
"I promise I will dance with you," Lily said. "I have no plans that involve sitting at the table with Petunia all day."
"Here comes the bride!" Mrs Evans swept in with tears of joy in her eyes.
"Speak of the devil," Lily muttered as Petunia walked in and was complimented and admired from all angles by her friends.
"Lily! Rachel!" came a voice from the other end of the room. Both girls turned to look and saw an older woman come hurrying up to them with a five year old girl clinging to her. She looked exactly like Lily's mother except her dark brown hair was just starting to go white at the temples.
"Aunt Helen!" Rachel cheered and hugged her. Lily did the same. Other than her cousin her aunt was the only other family member that knew about Lily being a witch and she was the happiest person (apart from Jenny) that Lily knew.
"How's school?" her aunt asked once she had released them from their hugs.
"Brilliant," Lily grinned. Her aunt glanced over her shoulder and spotted James smiling at them.
"Apparently so," she nodded. "It's about time you got yourself a boyfriend! At least this one is good looking unlike that pig your sister's marrying!"
Lily and Rachel burst into giggles and James chuckled slightly. From what Lily had told him about Vernon, Aunt Helen's comment seemed very fitting.
"Hello Jessica," Lily said to the little girl. Jessica seemed quite overwhelmed already by the amount of people in the room and buried her face in her mother's skirt.
"Aww, she's grown since I last saw her," Rachel said.
"Come on Jess you're not afraid of your cousins are you?" Lily asked. Jessica peeped round at her with wide blue eyes. "I mean I can understand being afraid of Petunia but we're harmless!"
"Rachel how's your father?" Helen asked as Lily's attempts to speak with the five year old yielded no response. She slipped away to stand by James.
"You're aunt's cool," James said.
"She is a lot of fun, but you can't hide anything from her. I swear she is a seer!"
"Lily!" came another shout. Lily groaned at the sound of her mother's voice. "It's time to leave! You're supposed to be in the car with your sister!"
"See you later," Lily said kissing James on the cheek and fighting her way through the crowd to the front door.
The car journey dragged. Lily stared absently out of the window trying to ignore the squeaks and tears of happiness from Petunia's friends who were also sharing the car. Once they arrived at the church Lily immediately stood at the back of the group so she could watch the rest of the guests arrive.
After ten minutes of waiting they were called into the church. Lily focused on her flowers as she followed the other bridesmaids down the aisle. When she passed James and Rachel she received two encouraging smiles and immediately felt better. But as soon as she made it to the front of the church the time continued to drag until Lily was reduced to picking the petals off her bouquet in boredom.
Finally the priest finished and Vernon and Petunia were locked in a tight embrace which made Lily feel rather sick to watch. Many of the bridesmaids burst into tears at the sight but dutifully applauded with everyone else. Pink rose petals now littered the floor around Lily.
"Just the reception to go," she muttered as she joined James and Rachel outside.
"And at least you can eat there," Rachel pointed out.
"We're you two bored out of your minds too?" Lily asked.
"I fell asleep," James admitted.
"Really he did," Rachel said. "I had to poke him awake. And he muttered something about Quidditch. What's Quidditch?"
"Wizard sport," James said. "I was dreaming about kicking Ravenclaw when we get back."
"I dropped petals over the floor at the front of the church," Lily said. "That's how bored I was!"
"We'd better go or there will be no cars left." Aunt Helen had drifted along side them and was now ushering them to the roadside.
OOO
"Lily may I have this dance?" James asked. The reception was now in full swing now that the dancing had started.
"You certainly may," Lily said, more than ready to leave Petunia and Vernon behind. After having the first dance together there had been continuous toasts and calls for the newly wed couple to kiss, all of which had reduced Lily to a headache and a queasy stomach.
"Is it just me or is the sight of the newlyweds kissing making anyone else nauseous?" Rachel asked quietly.
"It's not just you," Lily assured her as James dragged her off to the dancefloor.
"Now Miss Evans when was the last time I had the pleasure of dancing with you?" James asked.
"That would be the Valentines ball," Lily said.
"Far too long ago," James said taking her hands. "And I believe that last dance was interrupted."
"No chance of that happening here," Lily said. "An interruption to those two kissing however would be greatly appreciated. So have you enjoyed any of this day or has it all been boring as hell?"
"Well your cousin is friendly," James said. "Your aunt is cool, she spent the meal making comparisons between Vernon and large animals. Jessica is cute and barely spoke at all. Vernon's sister… what was her name?"
"Marge," Lily rolled her eyes.
"That one," James continued. "She knocked her wine glass on to her lap. You should have seen it, her face was priceless."
Lily chuckled at the idea.
"Which I suppose leaves the bride and groom to comment on," James finished. "And all I'll say is I think they're well suited for each other."
"Right there," Lily said glancing up at the top table, where Vernon was whispering to Petuina, who seemed on a temporary high from the celebration. Lily rolled her eyes but couldn't criticise. It was her sisters wedding and she had every right to be happy. Lily wondered, would she ever be happy like that?
OOO
"That's the last of them," Lily sighed sitting down next to James and Rachel. It was almost midnight and the reception had finally ended. Almost everyone had gone home leaving the room deserted except for a few people. Vernon and Petunia were in deep discussion with Vernon's parents. Lily's parents were coming back inside after saying goodbye to the last people to leave. Apart from Lily, James and Rachel, the only two other people in the room were Aunt Helen and Jessica, who had yet to leave due to the fact that Helen couldn't find her car keys.
"So glad that's over," Rachel said. "Honestly, if I had to watch Petunia and Vernon snog once more I think I would have puked."
"Join the club," Helen said rummaging around by their feet before disappearing under the table. "Aha! Got them!" She reappeared brandishing her set of keys.
"You got them?" Lily's mother asked coming over to see them.
"I need to stop losing these things," Helen sighed shoving her possessions into her bag. "Well if that's all I'll be off. See you all soon!" She kissed Lily and Rachel on the cheeks before giving a very surprised James a hug.
"You all look after yourselves," she said, taking Jessica's hand and walking to the doors. Instead of walking through them however, Helen slammed into them and fell to the floor dragging her daughter with her.
"Ouch!" Rachel winced at Helen.
"You okay?" Lily asked, hurrying over with everyone else to check.
"Fine," Helen and Jessica got up. Jessica was biting her lip to stop herself from crying.
"The door must be jammed," Lily's mother said trying the handle again.
"Oh this is just wonderful," Petunia said tartly.
"Don't see you trying to help," Lily heard Rachel mutter.
"Lily," James whispered urgently. "Can you still disapperate?"
Lily found this an odd question but the look in James's eye was all that she needed. To her horror however, Lily found that when she tried to disapperate, nothing happened.
In the distance a clock chimed midnight.
"What's going on?" she hissed.
"I was afraid of this," James muttered pulling out his wand. "Anti disapperation jinx."
"Afraid of what?" Lily asked.
"Remember you said this morning there have been no recent deaths?" James said. "I think that's because we're their next targets."
Lily felt ice flood into her stomach as from behind them there was the sound of a portkey arriving.
The Death Eaters had found them.
A/N: Fred: Right paw green! Jack: Ouch! (muses fall to floor in a heap) Helen: God you're fat Jack! Doc: I think I broke something (pulls mini sonic screwdriver made of a straw and shiny foil, out from underneath the pile up) Fred: Hey! The chapters finished! Review and we might wake our wise little author up… or not. Let's go raid the fridge! Helen: Chocolate! Mei: Ow my head…
Next Chapter: Whey! We get to kick some Death Eater butt! Fun!
May Stardust fall in your dreams!