Chapter Two: Reckless Simplicity

Even those without memory have their cares, and those who don't may be lost from the living world forever.

A red tendril of curls slithered its way around Lily's finger, rather like her loneliness, as she sat herself in the solitary confines of her snow-white quartiers. Both her hair and her segregation seemed out of place in the dull, colorless room. They felt heavily extraordinary in her chest somehow, like a weight of inky metal that colored her life out of match. She couldn't quite place the feeling into her life. It was odd, and real, and normal all at once.

But normal no longer seemed so comforting. It almost seemed dangerous. Perhaps, she thought in the darkness of her minds depths. Perhaps it was her normality that led her memories astray. Perhaps. But she did not truly believe her thoughts as they graced her, only gave hem a moments assurance before blowing them away in a desperate whistle.

In what had been the sanctuary of her room, but now felt more like a tomb that held her death, Lily let her tears fall away. Every little moment she could not remember, every little pain she wished she felt washed even further away from her. She let it all out with a soft sigh and a trace of bitter liquid on her flushed cheeks.

The smoke on her breath seemed far more prominent when forcefully mingled with her cold tears.

How odd, she thought to herself.

A large trunk lay before her, displaying countless little treasures James do doubt had instituted into her life; a box of chocolates carrying a sort of grassy-tasting syrup in their cores, a little glass globe with a greasy-looking boy inside being chase by bulgers, a photograph of dishes. Beautiful wizarding robes lay perfectly folded, and hidden from her eyes was a little blue-jean notebook with yellowed pages that held her soul. She refused to filter through the trunk for her life, and instead took to staring at its surface for clues.

As the sun began to set and her day of nothingness and James came back to her, Lily blinked blurriness from her eyes. Her isolation was starting to tie to her throat like a noose. It felt so tight, so tight she felt it'd pop right into more tears.

"You're weird."

Swallowing the lump, Lily met big hazel eyes with her emerald ones with a small sniffle.

"Pardon?"

The little girl threw her raven-father hair back from her eyes, nuzzling her shoulder as a blush came to her cheeks. She seemed so perfect in that instant. Even in her darkness she seemed light.

"You are weird" was the slow, muffled reply.

"Oh," Lily said, looking down to her own long, bare toes. They were painted a bright blue, she noted. Her throat seemed so tight as she did so. "Why is that?"

"You're crying." Muri stated softly, her voice less poignant than before. Her eyes did not meet Lily's and she seemed suddenly unsure. "But is that your weakness, or is it your strength?"

Lily raised her eyes once more to pierce the smaller girl's thoughts. Her face was thoughtless. Her eyes were dizzyingly lost. "But I don't know. Does crying make me weird? Or is it you? What is your name?"

Muri rolled her eyes dramatically, slipping back into a more pointed nature. Almost like James. But Lily couldn't possibly know such a thing. She blinked it back, but the words came to her anyway: could she?

"You know my name. I'm Muriel Potter; Muri says James."

"Oh. I can't seem to remember."

The girl waved her hand flippantly. "That's what I'm trying to tell you," said she. "You do know my name, and you do know me, and you do know everything there is to know about this world you're in."

"That can't be true."

Lily lowered her eyes once more.

"But it is; you're just sad. I bet you're just pretending to be stupid. Why else would you be like this? Imagine what James will do when he finds out you're a fraud. I bet-"

Her hair seemed to shade itself a scarlet color and her eyes faded to an almost-night green as Lily felt herself to snap straight so quickly she felt her heart would splinter in the intensity of it all. Her eyes glued themselves to Muriel's darker one, playing a game of primal seduction. Everything suddenly felt deliciously evil.

"Strong words from a weak heart,"

Muriel moved forward, her eyebrows narrowed and raised in challenge. Lily stood to meet her. The two girls tranquil nature seemed to abruptly fade away. Lily was wind, cleverly horrid, and Muriel was fire, beautifully dangerous. Each girl was lovely in her own right, but terrifying just the same. Their tempers rose as magic howled to life, circling them, entrapping them, horrifying them, weakening them.

Their bodies met in passionate anger. They clawed at each other's skin, raking and tugging. Hair of black and red fell disregarded to the floor. Lights flashed and wonder built, and adrenaline rushed by.

"You should have died." Muri hissed within her ear. Her heavenly voice had faded away to raw remains.

"And miss this? Never,"

But Lily's words resounded through the air and echoed off the walls and then fell to the floor as a crack was heard and gold light illuminated the room.

Both girls fell to the floor motionless, only to find a beautifully hazel set of eyes on their dulling hatred. Lily's wand lay beside her in splinters and pieces along with the rest of the room. It seemed heaven was falling with her.

She felt herself collapse, if possible, further into her misery. Crimson tears were falling from her skin. Life felt so horribly out of balance. But as darkness took her and sound faded from her mind, two sturdy arms took her in and she felt her soul fly.

The next morning awoke with her.

James' eyes fell down on her. His body shaped her own and rose lay in her hand.

"Mum said you cursed your self."

Lily swallowed her desires and turned away from the boy beside her. He was far too calculating to fall for her lies. And she could never lie to him anyway. He was right, and if she knew nothing else but that and his godly face it didn't matter. She had cursed herself into amnesia, or whatever it was that ate at her memory. There was no other explanation.

James's fingers cupped her chin, forcing her eyes on his. "I know what you did, Lily. I just-"

"Why does it matter? Why can't things go back to how they were? Why can't I just be Lily and you just be James? Why can't I just be happy again?"

"But you were happy. You must have been happy."

Lily scrunched her eyes together, closing them in silent frustration. Nothing suited her world. Nothing met end to end. Nothing came together. Fragments of memories came to and from her mind. And nothing seemed to fit. Her entire life was broken into a thousand tiny pieces. Some hid lost, and some lay just beyond her reach, but none were hers to claim... not even herself.

She simply shook her head.

Silence came to them, and Lily pulled herself closer to the boy to her side. His thumb began to draw slow circles around her knee.

"I was so scared yesterday, when you ran I mean. I thought you would never come back, that we'd never lie here like this again. I thought I'd be so unhappy, and you would be gone."

"And now I am," Lily told him gently. "Perhaps it was your fear that empowered my curse. Was this your wish?"

James's silence led her to lose her words within his eyes. They were so dark, and lovely, and wonderful. They shifted from brown to green to gold to black in a muddle of discrepancy. They were him, she knew; everything and anything, all at once. He was danger and he was perfection. He would be her life and he would be her death.

"What could make you so scared, James?"

He blinked back surprise, but his eyes covered themselves fast enough with nothingness. And indecision. His body stiffened against her. "I-well-I,"

Lily stroked his hair away from his forehead.

"I don't know. No reason, really,"

She didn't dare push him, and instead choose to stray into him slightly more. He seemed so right for her, so congruent. He was hers; her comfort, her perfection, her purity. She couldn't understand forgetting this. If cursing herself was losing James, it seemed now more a sacrilegious act that one of desperation. Something was missing.

No, everything was missing. She knew that as well. Even as his body molded to hers in such companionable silence, she knew there was one last truth in several hundred thousand thoughts that was just waiting to be discovered.

"How is Muriel?"

James' eyes rose to the headboard above his hippogriff feather pillow. His eyes clouded before he felt time press him for an answer.

"No one blames you for what happened, you know. Muri knew you were fragile. She knew. She shouldn't have pushed you like she did."

"I don't blame her. I must have done something horrible to her."

"Never. You don't know her. She wouldn't speak to you."

Lily turned away, letting her eyes rest on a mahogany and gold wardrobe across from her. She blinked, and pushed back the thoughts that were swelling in her head. Nothing gave a moment's resistance.

"She spoke as though she knew me well."

James gave a sort of muted chuckle, tilting his head to the side with a confused smirk. "Lil," he said. "Muri doesn't speak. Not well, anyway, and only when she has to...only when she has to. She had- she had some complications when she was younger. She never got past it."

"But-"

"Lily, don't speak."

A/N: Well, my computer's for shit. I've had this typed for weeks, and I just couldn't get to it! I know a longer post would be nicer, and perhaps an explaination as well, but I felt horrible about editing something I've been so horriblly distressed over. Or maybe I'm just as lost in this story as you all must be. Whatever the caase, the next chapter won't be out for another week or two at least. High school should go to hell!