This is something I wanted to try for no reason.
The sun beat down hard on Cloud's villa (Almost burning a hole through the roof). Everybody was sleeping like rocks when there's almost everything to do outside, but since Meteor was gone and Sephiroth ran off with a spoon, there was nothing to do.
In Cloud's room, Cloud's overly spikey hair was sticking into his pillow. "I wanna another block of cheese" he mumbles in his sleep. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Happy Cat says it's time to get up!" his alarm clock that's in the shape of a cat smiling like the chesire cat yells. Cloud is still sleeping. "Ha! Ha! Ha! It's a beautiful morning! Get up!" it yells. Cloud turns over. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Happy Cat is not kidding! Get up!" it starts to shake. The buster sword slices it in two. "I swear Cid got me this thing to annoy me" Cloud puts the sword next to his bed. He gets up and walks into the bathroom. "Hello, handsome!" he looks in the mirror. He brushes his teeth with a toothbrush that's in the shape of his sword and puts his clothes on without even noticing the pillow is stuck to his spikes. Walking out of the room, he says hi to Tifa as she passes by. "Um, Cloud. Your pillow is stuck to your hair" she points to her head. He looks up and rips it off.
"Oh, that was smart. Don't expect me to lend you my pillow again!" Tifa walks away. "So my pillow likes me. What's wrong with that?" Cloud shrugs. He walks down the stairs to the kitchen for breakfast. He gets a pan and some pancake mix out and starts to make pancakes (What else could you use that stuff for?). Yuffie sneaks out of her room and down the stairs wearing...a white bunny suit? "I love pancakes!" Cloud smiles. He flips some pancakes into the air and they land on his spikes. Yuffie sneaks over to the cupboard and takes out a cereal box. "You!" Cloud points his pan at Yuffie. She turns around and screams seeing Cloud jump at her. "Stupid rabbit! Trix are for kids! Not for you!" Cloud beats the pan on her head (Eh, thought it would fit in somehow). "Even as the white rabbit you guys won't let me have cereal!" Yuffie takes off the outfit. "It has sugar in it and sugar makes you way to hyper to take care of!" Cloud throws the pan at her.
"You're no fun!" she stomps up the stairs. Cid walks down the stairs and over to Cloud. "Hey, chocobo boy" he tries not to laugh. "Good morning!" Cloud turns around smiling like crazy. "Your hair having breakfast?" Cid bursts out laughing and rolls on the floor. Cloud looks up and sees the pancakes stuck to his hair. "Hair needs nutrients" Cloud shrugs. Cid stops laughing and sweatdrops. "You're an idiot" he gets up and walks out the door. "Whatever" Cloud goes back to cooking his pancakes. After breakfast, he goes out for a walk. His hair is harpooning birds and people in the eyes. "What's up with people? Too ugly to look at the handsome me?" Cloud stops and poses. Some kid with a balloon walks past him and his hair pops it. "That guy popped my balloon!" he points at Cloud. An angry mob forms and chases after him.
"What did I do!" he runs over the plains. He catches a ride to Cosmo Canyon. "So, you want to learn why Jupiter has that spot on its butt?" Bugenhagen asks Cloud. "Um, Sure" Cloud shrugs. They get into the machine and look at the planets. As Bugenhagen is explaining the reason, Cloud turns around and his hair pops Mercury. "What have you done!" Bugen exclaims. Cloud turns back around and pops Saturn. "Sorry!" he smiles sheepishly. He tries to yank the remainings out of his hair as he searches for the button, but instead pops almost every planet. He finally finds the button and brings down the platform. "Oops" he looks up at the strings and wires left on the ceiling. Bugen starts to get all steamy and red. "I guess I'll be going now!" Cloud runs out the door. "I guess I won't be bothering him for a while" Cloud stiffly walks back to the villa.
Marlene is sitting on the front step, basically looking sad. "Uncle Cloud!" she looks up at him as he walks up to her. "Uncle? That makes me sound old" he raises an eyebrow. "Could you tie my shoes?" she asks. "Is that it? Why can't anybody else do it?' he asks. "My dad'll kill me with his gun arm, Yuffie will steal something from me, Tifa's 'you know whats' will get in the way, Vincent's claw will kill me too, Cait just plain can't do it-" Alright, Alright!" Cloud cuts her off. He bends down, causing his spikes to scratch her chest down. "Ow" she tries not to cry. "Did you say something?" Cloud looks back up, scratching her again. She shakes her head slowly in pain. He looks back down and scratches her again. "Done!" he looks back up. "What's up with you? You look like you're in pain" Cloud asks. "I was just learning the pain of tieing shoes" she gets up and limps away.
"It couldn't be that bad. And what's up with her cuts?" he walks into the villa. As he walks in, he sees Barret sitting on the couch watching T.V. "What's up, foo?" he asks. "Nothing" Cloud answers. Cloud trips on a box and falls over the couch, scratching Barrets arm. "Sorry" Cloud gets up and walks away. Barret falls to the ground, clutching his arm and cursing every word in the book. "Language dude!" Cloud yells down to him as he walks up the stairs. Vincent is sleeping on the ceiling (He really should be a vampire), when Cloud walks by and his hair catches onto his cape. Vincent wakes up realizing he's being dragged across the floor. "Cloud, what're you doing?" Vincent looks over to him. "Going to my room!" Cloud skips down the hall. "Have you noticed that you're DRAGGING ME WITH YOU!" Vincent yells. Cloud stops and sees his hair has latched onto Vinnie's cape.
"Sorry!" he rips the cape off his spike. "It took me forever to make that cape!" Vincent holds the ripped cape in his hands, about to cry. "I can help you repair it!" Cloud tries to calm him down. "Just...go away!" Vincent clutches it. "Okay..." Cloud walks away slowly. "Everybody's been mad at me lately. What's wrong with these people?" Cloud mopes to his room. He plops down onto his bed and looks at his picture of Zack. "If you were here Zack, what would you do?" he holds the picture. "I am here!" Zack pops in through the window. "Where have you been! Do you know how many times I've needed you?" Cloud tackles him to the ground. "Sorry, I've been in the hospital for a while" Zack shurgs. "Like five freakin years!" Cloud shakes him.
"Anyways, your hair is way to spikey. Have you noticed the people you've harpooned with that thorn bush?" Zack points to his head. "Is that why my hair is turning red all of sudden?" Cloud puts his hand on his hair looks at it to find blood all over it. "Exactly" Zack pushes him off. "Tifa's gonna talk to you about that" Zack stands up and brushes himself off. "What about that Crono guy? His hair is spikey and you don't see Lucca or Marle complaining about it!" Cloud whines. "His hair points different ways, not in people faces" Zack helps him up. "What about you?" Cloud points at him. "My hair only kills the people in the back of me, not all around" Zack brushes his hair back. "Like that Axel guy?" Cloud tilts his head. Axel tries to climb up into the window, but Zack pushes him out. "I wanna be in a fanfic!" he yells as he falls.
"So what're you gonna do about it?" Zack asks. "Sleep my troubles away" Cloud lays back down on his bed. "Whatever, I'm gonna go to the arcade" Zack walks out the door.
Later that night...
"Cloud? Cloud, wake up" Tifa shakes Cloud. Cloud groans and pushes her hand off him. "Get up you -beep-" Cid pokes him with the Venus Gospel in the butt. He automatically falls off the bed. "You're gonna harpoon almost anybody with that!" Cloud holds his butt. "We need to talk" Vincent crosses his arms. "About what?" Cloud gets up. "About yo hair, foo!" Barret yells. "We think it needs to be cut" Tifa smiles sweetly. "CUT!" Cloud holds his hair, stabbing a small hole in his hand. "Yeah, it's been killing all of us ever since we beat Sephiroth" Cait raises his hands in the air. "What have I done to you?" Cloud points. "You've killed 30 other Cait Sith robots" Cait Sith is about to pound him, but Yuffie and Tifa hold him back. "What we're trying to say is, cut your hair and we won't kill you" Tifa struggles to hold him back. "No! You can't make me do it!" Cloud jumps out the window and runs away. "Great, we have to put up wanted signs again, but for a chocobo looking guy and not a ninja" Cid throws his arms up in the air.