How did Cloud's hair get like that?
"Cloud Strife, please come out now!" Tifa yells through a megaphone on the deck of the Highwind. "Give me that!" Cait snatches it away. She tries to pull it back and throws him over the edge. "Cloud Strife!" she calls again. "Where is that chocobo head?" Barret looks out the window. "What about that chocobo field over there?" Yuffie points to a huge blotch of yellow. "We could try there, but I don't see him. We already sent Vincent out anyways" Tifa bends over a little closer. Vincent comes flying onto the deck on Chaos's wings. "Is he down there?" Cid asks from the cockpit. "Yes, but that's not all" Vincent answers. "What else could be down there?" Yuffie squints down at the chocobos. "He's naked" Vincent shakes his head. "WHAT!" the whole team yells. "He's running around in the nude, stripped, you know" Vinnie shrugs.
"Well, everybody hang on!" Cid steers the ship down. "We haven't even gotten into the cockpit yet!" Tifa yells as she grabs onto the rails. The emergency alarm beeps as the ships goes down. "Geronimo!" one of the crew jumps off the side. "You're fired!" Cid shakes his fist down at him. The Highwind crashes straight into some mountains nearby and nearly explodes. "Everybody alright?" Barret still holds onto the rail. Nobody moves. "I'll take that as a yes" Barret lets go and stumbles into the cockpit. "No wonder Cid hired those workers!" Yuffie tries to climp onto the rail, but lets go and throws up over the edge. "Well, at least we're near Cloud" Tifa scoots a little bit away from Yuffie. They climb off the bridge and onto the mountain trail, Barret leading and Vincent behind. "Don't forget about me!" Red jumps off the deck.
"Where have you been?" Cid looks behind him. "Yuffie locked me in the bathroom for six days after stealing my materia, but one of the crew members slid into the door and bust it open" Red walks in front of Vincent. "Just to fill you in, we're looking for Cloud so we can cut his hair" Yuffie skips happily. "How do I know you're not lying to me?" Red looks up at her suspicously. "Now would I steer you wrong?" she smiles innocently. "Yes, yes you would" Cid nods his head. "You poop!" she starts to stomp her way down. "Oooooh, sheep!" Tifa points at a flock of sheep next to the mountain. Vincent jumps down and then comes back up. "Sheep? I don't see and sheep" Barret looks to the side. "There were some a few seconds ago" Tifa shrugs.
"Oooooh, a field of pretty flowers!" she points to a patch of flowers. Vincent jumps back down and comes back up again. "Flowers? They look dead to me" Yuffie looks to the side. "But, there were so bright and pretty" Tifa tries to explain. "Oooooh, a baby chocobo!" she points to a white chocobo with its parent. Vincent jumps down again and comes back up. "All the chocobos are over there, what're you talking about?" Cid looks down to nothing. "How does this keep happening!" she looks around.
She turns around to see Vincent trying to look completely innocent expect for the chocobo feathers, flower petals, and sheep wool on his shoulder. "What?" he brushes them off. "You didn't do what I think you did, did you?" Tifa turns to him and puts her hands on her hips. "Fine, I killed the sheep, I poisoned the flowers, and I ate the chocobo" he looks down. "Oh, okay" she puts her hand to the sides. They finally get into the chocobo area. "How the heck do we -beep- find him!" Cid looks around. "He's naked so he should be easy to find" Red looks around. "But the hair! His hair looks like a chocobos!" Barret tries to jump higher to see over the chocobos. "Then we'll just have to start looking" Tifa sighs. "Or, we could use somebody's nose" Yuffie smirks. "Like who's?" Red asks.
They all look down at him and smile. "No! After having to sniff Cloud's shirt to find his sword, I'm not gonna do it!" he turns away. "Will you do it for a Scooby Snack?" Tifa takes out a box from behind her back (How do those things get back there?). "Welllllll, okay!" he jumps at her and snatches the box. He chugs them down and starts to sniff. He keeps sniffing until he finds Cloud talking to a bunch of chocobos. He's wearing a beak, bird boots and fake chocobo wings and tail feathers. "What're you doing?" Tifa taps on his shoulder. He turns around and hides behind a chocobo. "Um, wark wark?" Cloud smiles sheepishly. "You're getting the haircut!" Barret points his gun at him. "No!" Cloud crosses his arms. "You're gonna get it, and you're gonna like it!" Yuffie taps her foot.
"No!" he yells. "At least have some dignity and put your clothes back on" Vincent hands him his clothes. "Fine, but you'll never take me alive!" Cloud snatches the clothes and runs off. He warks something to the chocobos and they turn to Avalanche. "What'd he say to them?" Red looks up. The chocobos start to stampede all over them. Everybody is almost drowning in the ocean of stampeding chocobos except for Vincent who's flying on Chaos's wings. "Vincent! Help us!" Yuffie yells. "Why should I?" he looks away. "Think of what we've done for you, foo!" Barret tries to swim to the surface.
Vincent thinks back to when Yuffie replaced his hair shampoo with blue hair dye, when Barret replaced the sugar with salt when he was making a cake, when Tifa kept asking if he could paint a picture of her after he kept saying no, when Cid put on his cape and pretended to be a superhero and when Red jumped on the bed and slept on him (My dog does that. It's annoying!). "Nope!" he smiles. "Vincent!" they all yell at once. "Fine, but you owe me!" he turns into Galian and scares the chocobos away. "Thanks, Vince" Cid tries to catch his breath. "Whatever" Vincent changes back. "So, he got away?" Red spits out a bunch of yellow feathers. "Yep" Yuffie looks around. "This might be the start of a crucial chase" Red looks down and shakes his head. "We better go back to the Highwind and get ourselves in gear" Cid picks up his Venus Gospel and walks back to the mountains. "Man! Who knows where that dork could be!" Yuffie wipes the bird poop off her. "We'll just have to keep looking" Tifa looks around the horizon. "This is gonna be a long day" Barret slaps his hand on his forehead (Does it even turn night there?).