16 Anticipation and Fear

The alarm buzzed annoyingly by Steve's ear and, for a moment, caught up in a wonderful dream where he was in his back yard, two children playing happily in front of him with Jo smiling contently and holding his hand, he didn't know where he was or why he could hear the noise. Suddenly though the dream disappeared to be replaced by a reality so startlingly different that he was instantly wide awake and silencing the noise with his hand.

The night hadn't just been peaceful sleep and pleasant dreams; he had spent over an hour lying on his side watching Jo as first of all she just lay there, and then slowly disappeared into dreams herself. His mind had been so full afterwards he had even considered getting up and finding a late night movie to watch in the hopes of switching off his brain, but that would have meant leaving her, and he hadn't wanted to. Slowly Steve turned his head, knowing now he had no choice but to get up and do just that, even though he wanted desperately to stay.

"Hi." The one word, soft, almost sexy, reached his ears and he saw her, looking at him, a smile containing such sadness that again she broke his heart.

"Jo? Oh, Honey, you have no idea … are you ok … should I call Dad?" Gently she placed a finger on his lips.

"No, not yet. I'm sorry about last night, everythin' just seemed so overwhelmin' an' I … I didn't know what to do first, what to think about, an' then when I heard the baby … Why did it have to be this way, Steve, why?"

Two tears ran down her cheeks as she finished speaking and gently, very gently, Steve caught them with his finger and wiped them away and then, for a moment, he paused before looking into her eyes and, as he did so, he spoke to her from his heart. "I don't know, I wish I did, but I do know this, I love you, more than I have ever loved anyone, and together, you and I, we will get through this. Jayden will come home to a happy, loving family, and it will be wonderful, ok?"

Jo nodded her head and then moved closer to him, wanting to feel his skin against her own, needing the physical contact that had been denied her while she was in the hospital. The movements caused her wound to pull and the pain was evident on her face, but she persevered until his strong arms were around her, his heart beating reassuringly in her ear and then she relaxed and let him hold her as she listened to him speaking softly into her hair, encouraging her with his words and the safety she felt when she was with him empowered her.

ooo

He watched, he was good at it; he seemed to be able to disappear into the scenery and, even in the posh parts of town, be unnoticed.

The house between the two sets of friends had been a godsend. Parked either opposite or just in front of it, in a small unobtrusive car, for a short while here, a short while there, he could see both sets of gates, knew when anyone went in or out and no one cared about him because he obviously wasn't waiting, looking, or needing any of them.

It was ten o'clock in the morning, and he guessed that the cops must be working a late shift. The doctor had gone off just after eight, taking his eldest daughter with him and the maid, the English woman and the youngest girl were still inside.

He hadn't planned to come back today, he didn't want to be spotted by spending too much time watching, but something had been wrong at Jo's house the previous evening, the older doctor had arrived in a hurry, and by the time Wayne had left to go home to bed he was still there. It had been eight this morning when he had parked back up, a different model and colour of car to the previous day, anxious to know what was going on, and the doctor's vehicle was still just where it had been the night before.

Bitch, he wondered what was wrong with her, he couldn't send flowers again, that had been done twice already, but he wanted to up the ante, wanted her to know he was about, watching, ready to pounce if he chose, and that she had no way of stopping him. He could phone, but so far that hadn't worked well. At the hospital they had denied she was there and he hadn't been connected at all, if he called the house and left his name with that Spanish butler he was disconnected. If he gave a name that no one recognised then he didn't get put through either. She was well protected, but he would break through, she was weak now, and he would shatter her resolve and her life.

ooo

"Vicki, I need to take some things round to Lieutenant Sloan, he's home this morning, and I want him to take a look at the notes I made yesterday. I'll take Anneya with me for the walk." Rae hadn't been up very long, she had groaned and turned over in bed when Jesse got up at seven, and although she thought she remembered getting a goodbye kiss, she wasn't sure.

"Ok, Mrs Travis, I'm going to go make the beds, for the last time on a Tuesday." Vicki smiled; the arrival of the new housekeeper the following week couldn't come quick enough for her. She loved working with the Travis's, her time with Anneya was fulfilling and when Eliana arrived home she was busy, happy and relaxed, but the housework side of things had made her seriously consider handing in her notice. She couldn't do all the chores, not properly, and look after Anneya, teaching her sign language, and how to cope in a hearing world. Thankfully the problem had been solved before she had to mention it and now, when she returned from her weekend away, there would be a new member of staff starting.

"Have fun." Rae smiled back at the young woman and watched as Vicki signed to Anneya that she would be going out with her mom. The sign, resting the thumb of the right hand on the cheek or chin, was the same as 'mother' and Rae was beginning to think of herself that way, as a mom, even though in her own mind she had, until now, always been a mum.

Carefully, Rae placed her daughter's sun hat on her head and rubbed cream on her arms, legs and face. Once that was done she picked up the notes she had copied and slid them into her purse. Anneya was beaming at her mother, enjoying the undivided attention she was getting, and she slipped her small soft hand into that of Rae's as they walked out of the entranceway and into the sunshine.

The trip wasn't very long, and Rae, needing to provide some sort of commentary for her little girl, stopped every few steps to point something out, whether it was a bird, a pretty flower or just, on one occasion, an unusually shaped stone.

As they reached the edge of the property next to their own Rae heard the unmistakable sound of a gun being cocked and froze, the scar from her gunshot wound suddenly painful, her fear almost too much to deal with. Her own weapon was in the drawer of the hall table, locked away until she needed it for work, and so she waited, not wanting to distress or endanger her daughter in any way, for the feel of steel against her body, or worse.

"You don't know me, but I know who you are, Detective, an' I need you to do a little job for me." The accent was Texan, she knew that, but far stronger than her friend's.

Anneya looked up, wondering why her mommy had stopped walking and pulled on Rae's arm.

"Shhh." Rae held her finger to her lips, but, as she usually did, made the sound of the sign she was making and was surprised at the strength in her voice.

"What is it you want me to do?" For a moment Rae was sure that the Red Rose Killer was behind her, and if that was the case then she was as good as dead.

"Tell your friend, Jo Walters, that I am here, I am watchin', I will be waitin', an' she won't get away from me so easily next time." The pressure of the gun moved as he spoke in menacing tones and Rae felt her tension recede a little and then increase rapidly as she realised that the danger had been passed on and the muzzle was now pressed hard against Anneya's soft throat, a hand grabbing her long blond hair and, as the fear within her became tangible, with a sob Rae spoke.

"No, please, don't. I'll tell her, but please, don't hurt my baby." Rae tried to pull Anneya towards her, wanting to protect her even though so far she had failed spectacularly, but Wayne, releasing her hair, grabbed her by her free arm and yanked the little girl between his legs causing her to begin to cry.

"You tell her that Wayne says if she isn't careful she'll have the death of another chil' on her conscience because, like I mentioned, I know who you are, where you are, an' I know where your children are too!" Suddenly he pushed Anneya hard and the little girl fell to the sidewalk, crying loudly in pain and fear. As she began to crouch down instinctively to help her daughter Rae felt the gun butt crash into her skull and as she hit the ground and was still Wayne climbed into his car and drove away.

ooo

He had spent an enjoyable evening, planning, thinking, imagining, and now, as he put the bread away after breakfast on the Tuesday morning, Dominic-Matthew began to imagine again.

Susan she had said her name was, and he had to remember that he was Nika. He would call her, make sure that a movie was still ok, if not he could arrange to meet her just for a drink, or maybe a meal at a club, somewhere busy, popular, even on a Wednesday and he would give her his cell number to increase her confidence, he could ditch it after the date and get himself another one easily.

The flower was a problem. If he gave it to her at the beginning of the evening then she would freak, he could hardly carry it around with him, and he had read in the paper how the number of roses ordered and delivered since he had first been called the Red Rose Killer had halved. Suddenly though he had an idea, a brainwave, and the smile that crossed his face soon turned into a laugh as his mood continued to improve.

The last time, with Leigh Ann, had been good, the time before, with Krista, had been wonderful, he needed to be able to recreate a combination of the two and that way maybe he could get closer to the one, closer to perfection again. As always when he thought about her, how she had been so important to him, Dominic-Matthew felt the need to see her, look at her face, her body, her hair, and so, making sure that all the breakfast things were soaking in the sink, which Dominic knew was Matthew making his presence felt, he made his way into the third bedroom, no longer afraid of being stopped or interrupted.

ooo

Mark had checked Jo over, under the watchful and anxious eyes of her husband, until he had asked one too many questions and been sent out with instructions to get a message to Daniel that his mother was feeling much better.

The boy, at school only because he knew his mom had spoken to his dad when they woke, had asked Steve to send him a text message that he could check for between lessons. After he had done that Steve had carried out his second instruction and asked Juan to make an ordinary coffee for himself and his dad and a decaffeinated one for Jo.

Once that had been done however, nothing would have stopped him from being back in the east wing and he had prowled the hallway until his father, an indulgent smile on his face, had let him back in.

Jo was up, dressed and sitting quietly on the gold brocade sofa that matched the two chairs, the teddy still in her arms.

"Honey?" He could only say the one word, nothing except his wife mattered right now, even his new, tiny son had been moved into second place.

"It's ok … I'm ok, I need to go see Jayden, then I'll be even better." The smile was a little stronger than it had been and, although not totally convinced, Steve sat down too, kissing her gently and then just holding her, knowing that work and hospital would send them in different directions very soon.

At that moment though the phone had rung in the hallway and in next to no time Juan appeared in the doorway informing Steve that Detective Yeager was on the phone sounding very upset.

ooo

An idea had struck Wayne just as he got to the end of North Crescent Drive and he pulled out his cell phone.

"Could I speak with Doctor Jesse Travis please, it's urgent … thank you." The number had been put on the phone just in case, and was now definitely coming in handy. Cruising slowly to a halt in a small parking lot he waited until he heard the cheerful voice of the person he wanted.

"Doctor Travis."

"Doctor Travis, we've never met, my name is Wayne McCaulay, but you need to get home, your wife an' daughter have been in an accident … how do I know? Why, because I was the man who caused it." He was laughing as he disconnected the call, closed down his phone and put it back in his pocket and then, with the laugh growing louder, he rejoined the late morning traffic.

ooo

The phone call from Rae had sent him rushing out into the street, calling for his brother-in-law as he did so, where he found her ashen and shaking with her crying daughter held tightly in her arms.

Carefully he supported her against himself and carried Anneya on his hip as they made their way back inside the house where Mark was waiting anxiously for them. Half lying on the sidewalk Rae had been silent and shocked, and still she said nothing as Steve took her through to the morning room gently sitting her on the sofa where she leant back against the cushions before wincing and changing her head position slightly.

Anneya was no longer crying loudly, Steve had heard her as Rae spoke into the phone, just asking him to come get her, that she was outside, before the connection was cut. Now there was quiet gulping sobs from the little girl, as there had been when he tenderly picked her up to bring inside.

Steve spoke quickly to Juan, asking him to call Jesse and then crouched down in front of his partner and began to talk to her.

"Rae, what happened? Did you see who did this?" Her hand was in his as, almost automatically, he held onto it to try to encourage and support her.

"Steve, Honey, did you find …? Jo's voice cut across what her husband was saying and then she saw Rae and Anneya on the couch. "Oh my, what happened?"

"Jo, it's alright, I think Rae was mugged. Let me talk to her for a moment, ok?"

"No … he … he knew me. He said he was … was Wayne and had a message for you, Tex …" Rae paused, suddenly realising that the last person she should pass it onto was the person it had been intended for.

"No! Steve, he's here, at the house." Jo's voice was loud as her fear rose to new levels. "Daniel, we have to make sure that Daniel is safe."

"Honey, he wasn't out there, no one was, we didn't see anyone but Rae and Anneya." David had gone out with Steve, remaining a few extra minutes to check to see if there was anyone still watching or posing a threat. Now though he had disappeared upstairs with his daughter, not wanting to intrude.

Steve could see that Jo wasn't persuaded, and not knowing how to convince her finished lamely, "I promise you."

Jo didn't want to hear any more, her life was spiralling out of control, her baby was in the hospital, something was wrong with her brother, although as of yet she had no idea what, and now Wayne was attacking those dearest to her.

"What did he say?" Jo couldn't crouch down, but she had moved a little closer and her tone was insistent, as she demanded information from her best friend.

Rae, though had closed her eyes, the voices coming from all around her, along with Anneya crying in her arms was too much, she felt herself go cold all over, and the bile rise in her throat, as she knew she was about to be sick.

"Steve!" Mark added to what was, to her, a cacophony of sound as he saw his patient swallow furiously, "Bowl, now."

In a panic he looked around, knowing that getting to the kitchen and back wasn't an option and then, a moment later, his partner was throwing up into what he had a feeling was a crystal and silver rose bowl.

"Mark, please, check Anneya, just let me close my eyes for a few minutes while you do that." Rae's face was almost ghostly white and her voice was weak, but she was able to get her message across.

"I will check your daughter first, but I don't want you going to sleep. Steve, talk to her, take a statement, sing to her, dance, anything, but keep her awake. Rae, listen to me!" Mark spoke urgently, trying to keep her with him, his hand on Rae's wrist as he did so, and although her pulse was weaker than normal it didn't seem to be dangerously so and he let her arm rest on her lap.

"Rae, look at me, no, properly, and tell me how you ended up like this." Steve had his notepad in his jeans and, as he followed his father's instructions, although not quite to the letter, he slid it out, pulled a pen along with it and began to write.

"We … we were coming to see you. I have the notes … the notes I took yesterday in … my purse, what happened to my purse?"

"Is this it?" Jo could see a brown suede bag, with a flop over flap, almost like a postbag, lying on the floor by Rae's feet that David had put there. She couldn't bend to pick it up but as she pointed it out Steve lifted it into her friend's view.

"Yes, thank you. They're in the back of it. We were just walking, looking around when I heard … I heard … oh, God." The fear that she had pushed aside to save her daughter was back now with a vengeance; the vision in front of her was not of a sidewalk in Beverly Hills however, but of a kitchen in Santa Barbara as a gun was aimed at her and she faltered, crying out, "Not again, please, I couldn't … can't, not again," before she felt Steve's arms go round her and hold her tight.

ooo

It had taken Jesse almost forty agonising minutes to get from Community General to Beverly Hills. He had called Steve, unable to get through as the line was busy and had redialled, forever it seemed, until finally he spoke to Juan asking him to get someone to go check on his wife only to find that she was already there, and so, instead of drawing into Oak Place, he had screeched to a halt outside the impressive home of his friend, locking his car as he was running towards the already open front door.

"Where is she? What happened? I got a call." Jesse looked around, Juan was carefully securing the house once more, but then his quiet deferential voice was heard.

"Mrs Travis is in the morning room, Sir. Doctor Sloan, the Lieutenant and Mrs Sloan are with her, as is your youngest daughter."

"Anneya? Is she? What happened?" He asked the same question again, but this time he was by the door and it was Steve, still with Rae resting against him, who answered.

"She was threatened, Jess. Hit, with a gun butt we think, he …" Steve paused, unable to believe how low the man would stoop, "he threatened Anneya too."

For a moment Jesse couldn't move from his position in the doorway. "Mark? Anneya? She … she wouldn't understand, is she ok?"

"She has a nasty bruise coming up on her throat, but yeah, she'll be ok. She's very frightened, she hasn't let go of her momma's hand since she got here, and you'll need to keep a close eye on her for a day or so, but he didn't hit her, I think he grabbed at her, there are a couple of marks on her arm and some of her hair has been pulled out.

"He did," carefully Rae moved away from Steve, smiling slightly at him in thanks as she did so. "I tried to keep her close, but he yanked her away from me, he said … he said to remember that he … knew … knew where my children were, oh, Jesse." This time it was her husband's arms around her and the tears finally began to flow. She hadn't cried when Steve held her, trying instead to use his unfaltering presence in her life to strengthen and make her feel a little more like facing what had happened, but Jesse was different, with him she couldn't keep her emotions in, she held him close and let some of her anguish escape.

Fifteen minutes later Jesse had thanked everyone, put Rae and Anneya in the back seat of his car, strapped them in so they could still hug, and then driven home. Once they were safely inside Oak Place he had suggested they go up to his and Rae's suite where he had put his daughter into her sleepwear and watched as Rae got undressed and pulled on one of his old t-shirts before two of the most important people in his life had climbed into bed where, lying as close to each other as possible, they had quickly given in to the exhaustion they were feeling and fallen fast asleep.

Mark had examined both of them before Jesse arrived in Beverly Hills, and had been happy to release them into the younger doctor's capable hands. Although Rae had been sick her husband didn't think she had a concussion, but knew that she would feel pretty lousy for a day or two. The fear from when she had been shot, reignited by the gun in this incident, had been the reason for her vomiting he was sure and although the two doctors knew she was shaken and scared, Jesse was confident that physically she would soon be fine again.

As Jesse had said goodbye to his mentor and thanked both him and Steve for helping Rae, Mark had suggested that he get his wife to see Lauren within the next few days, knowing that the fear associated with the first incident which had almost claimed her life, linked with this one, could cause problems for her. Jesse knew that the idea made sense, and so he had called the hospital once Rae was settled and made an appointment for the following Monday. Once that was arranged he had spoken briefly with Vicki before taking his laptop upstairs, planning to catch up on his paperwork while he watched over his sleeping wife and child.

ooo

Susan looked out of the window on the Wednesday morning and smiled; she hadn't really expected the day to be dull or rainy, but she guessed it was a possibility. There had been torrential rain in February causing floods and landslides across coastal California.

Nika had called the previous evening to make sure that everything was ok for their date. He'd asked if she was still happy with the arrangements, which she was, and confirmed that they would meet at the movie theatre and have their meal in the restaurant there before going in to see the main feature, a film that had done well in the Oscars earlier in the year.

Susan was glad she had agreed to go out with Nika. There was no pressure, it was just a low-key affair, and if they didn't hit it off then there was no reason why they need ever see each other again. She hadn't wanted to go out with someone she knew well and definitely not with someone from the hospital. In one way she guessed she had let herself be picked up, and in a department store at that! Even so she was excited at the prospect of an evening with no strings attached and, humming to herself, she locked the door to her new apartment and walked the short distance towards the hospital.

Two minutes later she was crossing the street and entering the parking lot, even gladder that she had moved. Her last place had been a fifteen-minute car journey away, and that was on a good day! Now, if she was starting at eight, she could, conceivably, laze in bed until seven thirty, still have breakfast and a shower and be in time to grab a coffee in the cafeteria before her shift began. Today she was working nine till five and so would be able, after her short return journey home, to wash and style her hair before getting into some casual clothes, probably a pair of jeans and a slightly more dressy top and make her way to the movie theatre just five minutes further on than her usual walk to work.

ooo

Jesse had called the hospital and, at Rae's insistence, swapped his day shift for a night one. She was certain that by the evening she would be fine, and hadn't wanted him to lose his Friday off that they were planning to share. He'd also called Alex the previous evening and the young doctor had driven over that morning and checked both Rae and Anneya. The two of them had slept all the previous afternoon, woken and eaten a small sandwich each and then gone back to bed where, cuddled up together they had drifted back off to sleep and remained that way until after eight that Wednesday morning.

Anneya had a bruise on her throat, which could now be seen clearly as a circular shape with a hole or clear patch in the middle of it. It was obvious to anyone who looked closely that Wayne had jammed the barrel of the gun into her soft skin, causing it to break and there were two scabs forming where this had happened.

Eliana hadn't understood why her mommy and sister were sleeping in the same bed together when she arrived home from Sally's the previous afternoon, but Jesse had told her they were feeling poorly and then the two of them had spent over an hour cutting, sticking and making get well cards for Rae and Anneya. Eliana was clearly quite artistic, but more than that she was, just like her mother, neat and tidy. Jesse knew that if his own mother had ever bothered to spend any time with him as a child making things, that the glue, cut up and discarded scraps of paper, glitter, sequins and all the other myriad bits and pieces that seemed to be needed to make a card, would have been everywhere, all over the table, the floor, him; but with Eliana that didn't happen. Even though she was only five she still put the glue on one side of the table and the art supplies the other so they didn't get messy. She also cleared up after herself, explaining that Miss Amy wouldn't let you do anything else until your table was clean, and when this was done she wanted her daddy to read her a story.

Although he was desperately worried, not only about what had happened to his wife and child, but also about what Steve had told him relating to Wayne, Jesse had still enjoyed his time with Eliana enormously.

The cards, one each from Eliana for her mommy and sister, and one from him to both of them had been great fun to make, and afterwards as he was leaning up against the headboard of Eliana's bed, his little girl cuddled up in his arms as he began to read to her from 'Where The Wild Things Are' he revelled in how fortunate he wasThe book was a little tatty, but that was because it was Jesse's own, he had loved it as a boy and was delighted that Eliana wasn't at all scared by it, and wanted it read over and over again. She loved all the characters, pointing to them and saying their names as her Daddy waited for her to tell him who they were.

Now though, Miss Vicki had taken Eliana out into the back garden, too frightened to let the little girl go anywhere near the front of the house, and he could see them talking with Martin who was also out there, weeding one of the beds.

The mail had been delivered and Jesse was sorting the bills and interesting stuff from the junk. Anneya was sitting up at the dining table next to him, a jigsaw in front of her. She kept looking over at her mother who was the other side of her and Jesse had seen her reach out and touch her three times so far.

As he picked up the final three pieces of post Jesse recognised the writing on one of the envelopes and, suddenly feeling furtive, carefully opened it.

Dear Jesse,

I need to apologise to you, your wife and family, and this letter is for that. I realise now just how scary my actions might have seemed, but you have to believe me when I say that I never meant them that way.

I know that although I had been away for a long while and both you and I had changed I hadn't allowed that to alter my perception of your feelings for me and mine for you. Of course you would have moved on, would probably be with someone else, maybe married, with children, but I never once allowed those type of thoughts to cloud my vision of a perfect LA with the man of my dreams, once my marriage ended, still waiting there for me.

You have a beautiful family, and I still have plenty of time to find the right person to give me something similar, but only if I finally move away from the past and make my own future.

One step at a time, that is how I am going to go. I know you would prefer that I didn't work at the hospital, but I need that security, that familiarity, at least for a while, but I promise not to bother you.

Take care, Jesse,

Enjoy your life; I plan to enjoy mine,

Love,

Susan

With a smile, once he had scanned the letter for a second time, Jesse passed it across to his wife, wondering at her response and watching her face as she read.

"Well, I hope she succeeds, this must have been difficult for her to write. Thank you." Rae handed the two sheets of paper back to her husband and then, after standing up moved behind him, put her arms around his neck and leant her head against his.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you over things I said about her, you were so mixed up, and she is beautiful, I didn't want to lose you, Jess, I love you too much."

Carefully, not really wanting to move his wife from where she was standing, Jesse turned and then, placing his hand into her hair, pulled her head down closer to his own and as they kissed, gently, he knew that whatever else happened in his life, he didn't want to lose her either.