Another chapter, FINALLY. My god, I've had way too much going on...I've been trying to focus on my art more than writing at this moment, which I know is no excuse, but...(sigh) oh well. This isn't rhyming, more of a drabble than anything else, but I still like it better than my last few. I don't really like the other style, I like powerful poetry and it just wasn't expressing what I wanted. So, reviews!
Queen-of-Azarath: You bet this rating is going up...I don't think I could possibly make it to M if I tried, but it'll probably be T. Am I the only one who liked the old system better?
Edit: Just read yours again, and I agree 100. Yay! SOmeone else out there who hates the new system!
Edit #2(oy): Thank you sosososososo(continues for two straight minutes)much for the criticism. That's what I really do need...a way to improve. I know, my rhyming has been off for a while so I'm going to try freeform for a few poems and alternate that way. The day I can get both power and rhyme into my poems will be the happiest day of my life, but until then I guess I'll just try to keep improving. :) Trust me, no need to feel nervous, I wish more people offered ways to improve!
a dragons wings: Trust me, I have no idea...I got this next one from Nightwish, I guess. I was just listening to it and reading lyrics and I loved the way the words fit together. So I told myself "Screw writing style" and tried a free verse poem. Not really inspired by any particular idea, though! Beautiful? Thanks so much...
Hittomi: After this one you won't be saying that! Lol, thanks, though...I wish I did. I'd have a hell of a lot less people pissed at me. One of my real life best friends is threatening me with death if I don't write more...two, I think. O.O
Dark Kitsune of Ra: Wow, thanks! Yeah, the rhyme just popped into my head...my fave, too. Ths one doesn't rhyme, but I think it's a good little venting poem...cello? That's HARD! Kudos to you! Christmas Carol...ugh, that book got beaten to death by my class last year. But I see what you mean, I hadn't even realized that! Thanks...one thing I like to hear in a comment is something I entirely overlooked, and I guess I just got that. :)
ttSerenity: Thanks! Flawless, huh? I dunno...I have a feeling everyone'll hate me for this one. What a pity. (grin) Thanks a lot, though...I might have to do a drawing for these poems someday. If I do I'll make sure to drop a link!
Digital Skitty:A? Aw, thanks! Lol...pity we don't do much poetry in English class. I think I have an A, but I don't know...
RavenOfNight: High praise indeed! I don't know, though...I have a feeling Raven would glare at me and go back to reading if we ever met. Lol...I'm glad you like it! Thanks!
lives4lifeandlove: Omfg, I have a fan! SQUEE! (runs around in circles) Don't worry, if you think that was babbling you should hear me some time...you bet I'll keep writing, slowly but surely! I hope you like this one, too! All the poems? That's awesome! Wow...I am so flattered now. o.o
Mizamour: Thank you so much...that's really my aim, I suppose, with every poem. Each has a separate emotion and viewpoint that I'm trying to make the reader feel...this next poem's more like a rawer version of that than anything else.
Valiant Silence: Fuckin' awesome? Le gasp, I guess the rating's going up!
(That was already happening after my last poem, lol.)A new face! Thanks...no problem!
Just looking at my hit list it's clear that a LOT of people aren't leaving their comments...(evil death glare of doom)
Thanks! I hope you like the next one, too!
Well, that was long enough...waaaay too long. These author's notes take longer than the actual poem, sometimes! I'll just cut to the chase and spare anyone who still might be reading this...
Stray
Cold and beaten, weary and broken
Stray
You are not.
Golden and feral, burning and hating
hurting and bleeding
Bitter to the end
Under a smoky gunpowder sky
Fledgling feathers falling
From the young virgin wings
Of a raging, hellborn angel
Crouched in a reverie, held above the jagged street
Never trusting, never whole
As you weep tears of shattered sun and night
Rending illusioned reality to bare the soul
Of the wounded one, the truth must know
Heaven or hell, in the heart of the lost
In which does your freedom lie?
Line breaks are debatable, but I don't like pushing it all together...tell me what you think? Please? Flame away, I NEED CRITICISM:)
-RenegadeMustang