Disclaimer: Still not mine.

Author's Note: More mad props to my amazing betas, JeSouhaite and Cinefille.

"How is it possible that none of them are from here?" Lorelai asked Luke in amazement as they set out to explore Stirling the morning after their return from the Isle of Skye.

"Didn't you say that Anne grew up here?"

"Well, yeah, but she's the chef. She never meets the guests. But the rest of them – college kids, recent transplants. Even Elizabeth has been living in Edinburgh and only recently moved here when The Durham Group hired her to manage this inn. How are we supposed to show guests the heart and soul of Stirling if none of our employees know anything about it?" Luke shrugged and Lorelai went on, "Well, at least we can go find it."

"Find what?"

"The soul of Stirling."

And so they had, or at least they tried to, Lorelai leading Luke up and down the cobbled, winding streets. They examined restaurant menus, popped into shops and bakeries, and walked the scenic route along the outside of the old city wall. She knew she was in overdrive, trying to leverage the brainstorm of ideas that had resulted from her conversation with Luke on the Isle of Skye into something she could call a success at the Stirling Inn. She had thought she would dread returning to Stirling, so relieved had she been to leave. But her spirits were buoyed and she found herself excited to resume her work, her enthusiasm tempered only by the knowledge that Luke was leaving the following day. A pang of sadness hit her again and she turned to him, seeing that same expression he'd worn all day, a smile both amused and pensive.

"So, what's next?" he asked, and she smiled in wonder at his patience. She'd found it ironic that one thing that she needed to do to help the inn was leave the inn, but she'd spent so much time working she didn't even really explore the town. She'd been saving her sightseeing for Luke's visit, so beyond walking up the hill to the castle, she'd seen very little of Stirling itself. Today had been about making up for that, and Luke had played the role of dutiful fiancé to the hilt.

"Are you sure you don't want to do something else?" she asked him yet again, feeling a little guilty for drawing him into her personal agenda.

"This is helping you, right?"

"I guess."

"Then, let's keep going," he said, resting a hand on her shoulder and looking down the street, "Besides…it's nice to see you smiling."

The concern in his voice tugged at her heart, and she turned to face him, resting her hand on his chest. "I'm sorry I haven't been much fun this week. And you've just been your amazing wonderful self the whole time."

He gave a small shake of his head, brushing off her praise, "You have a lot on your mind. That's understandable. And don't think I'm not having a good time. I wouldn't trade this trip…being here with you...it's been amazing." He reached up to hold her hand against his chest, running his thumb back and forth across her palm, his eyes holding hers intently. She thought that if they hadn't been on a busy sidewalk, he might have leaned in and kissed her then. As it was, he squeezed her hand and smiled, signaling the end of the serious moment. "So…moving on then?"

Lorelai just nodded wordlessly and steered them toward yet another of the several little shops she had dragged him into in her quest for good coffee.

A few minutes later, after purchasing her a cup of coffee and giving into a cup of tea for himself, they left the shop and he asked teasingly, "Do you really think that the soul of Stirling is going to be found in a coffee cup?"

"Certainly not here," she said, grimacing as she took a sip before dumping the almost full cup into a nearby garbage can. At his dismayed look, she justified, "That was awful. I just want to make sure that I can recommend a place to get a good cup of coffee and so far the best recommendation I can make is to hop a plane to Stars Hollow. I thought the coffee at the inn was barely passable, not that I've ever told Anne that, but that stuff…" she gestured toward the shop they'd just left, "that was awful."

"You do realize that most people here drink tea, right?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So, the search for amazing coffee might not be the most productive use of your time."

"Searching for good coffee is always a productive use of time," she protested, "but maybe you're right. You know, I haven't really done any souvenir shopping yet, and I'm going to need some gifts to bring home."

At that, Luke just rolled his eyes, but nonetheless followed her as she headed down the street to a gift shop.

Later, after a few more hours of walking and a stop for dinner at Lorelai's favorite pub, they walked into her room, where she let out a deep sigh and dropped her bags onto the floor. "Wow, I'm tired. We must have walked like ten miles today."

"It wasn't my idea to visit every coffee shop in the town and then go souvenir shopping."

"But look at all the stuff. I've got all my gifts taken care of, so it was worth it. I'm just annoyed that there is no tartan for Danes. I really wanted to get you a kilt."

"Which would have been ridiculous, since there's no chance I would ever wear a kilt."

Lorelai grinned, teasing, "At least I found you some nice tartan boxers. And you can't say you won't wear those, since they're not that different than what you have already. They just have fun names – Stewart, MacDonald, Cameron…"

"I'll wear them as long as you don't talk to them," he relented gruffly.

"You're no fun," Lorelai said, giving him a pouty smile as she put her hands on his chest and leaned into him. The contact relaxed her and she slipped her arms around his waist, holding tightly as she let out a long sigh and rested her head against his shoulder. "God, I'm tired."

Luke reached a hand up and pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. "I hope you're not too tired," he said softly.

"Why? Did you have some plans I didn't know about?" At his pointed look, she teased, "Oh, you want to have sex-"

He groaned at her directness. "Lorelai."

"Okay, I guess we don't have to," she said, pulling away and pretending to look around the room. "We never did finish watching the Holy Grail…or the inn has some games downstairs. It's a sad collection, but I think there's a few decent ones, or there's always TV-"

"Lorelai," he said with a low growl.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Shut up," he said, stepping toward her and resting his hands on her hips.

"Make me."

When his lips found hers, they were surprisingly gentle, and she returned his kiss with equal tenderness. She pulled back a moment later, "So, it was the sex you wanted after all?" He just shook his head and pulled her lips to his again.

In between kisses, she kept up her playful banter, and though Luke tried to act exasperated, she could see the smile tugging at his lips and hear his stifled chuckles. She knew that much of the week she'd been wounded and needy and she wanted him to know how much he'd healed her. So in spite of her teasing words, she let him take the lead, felt his fingers trace across her curves and his lips send shivers down her spine. She returned his caresses, smiling against his skin.

They took time with each other in a way they hadn't in a long time, as if by stretching their time together they could put off Luke's departure. Their lovemaking was a fluid give and take, full of attention and devoid of hesitation. It lacked the frenzy of earlier in the trip, but more than made up for it with the gentle, sensual touches and whispers of affection. Throughout it all there ran a thread of silliness and fun as Lorelai felt herself relax for the first time in weeks.

Afterwards, he lay on his back, she curled up against him while he traced patterns up and down her fingers and around her palm. He looked as content as Lorelai felt, so much so that she was reluctant to interrupt the quiet moment. But the quiet felt heavy, a good heavy, but heavy nonetheless and it overwhelmed her a bit.

She leaned up on her arm and looked at him, grinning. "Well, I have to say, buddy, you sure know how to please your woman."

She thought she saw him blush slightly, but in the dim light, it was hard to tell. "You're no slouch yourself. So, what happened? I thought you were exhausted."

"Maybe the coffee is catching up to me."

"You drank that coffee hours ago."

Well," she hesitated, "maybe I just don't want to sleep."

"Why?" he asked, though it sounded like he knew already.

"When we wake up you're going to have to go home," she said sadly.

"I know," he answered softly, looking up at her and running his finger along her cheek and down to her chin. "But you'll be home in a few weeks."

"A few weeks that we have to be apart," she complained. "I've had enough of that nonsense. When I get home, you're not going to be able to get rid of me. I'm staying with you every night." She surprised herself with the strength of her announcement almost as much as he surprised her with his soft reply.

"Or maybe I'll stay with you every night." His words sounded just a little bit like a question.

Lorelai rolled so that she could lean on his chest and look him in the eye. "Why don't you do that," she said softly, giving him a small smile. "It's a more logical long-term choice, anyway."

His eyes widened a bit and his lips curved up at the corners as he processed her statement. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, whispering, "Okay then."

Daylight came too quickly, in spite of the fact that Lorelai had kept Luke up talking until late in the night. They discussed which of the crazy Stars Hollow festivals would happen while Lorelai was away, and she made him promise to fill her in on any happenings. He made her promise to keep in touch with Rory, to which she had reluctantly agreed.

The morning was a blur of activity and all too soon, Lorelai found herself in the parking lot next to Luke's rental car, sharing a few tender kisses before he got in and drove away. The amused Luke who had countered her banter jab for jab the previous night was gone and she was left with the quiet one who accepted her sweet kisses stoically. When she said she wished she could go home with him, he reminded her about her mission to bring personality to the Stirling Inn in a tone that brought a small smile to her lips. She resisted the urge to throw her arms around him and beg him to stay, because while last night's Luke would have responded with a joke to lighten the mood, this Luke seemed unprepared to deal with an emotional parting. She watched him pull away, smiling and waving as he looked back at her before turning out of the parking lot, and then she followed his car with her eyes for a few brief moments before it disappeared around a corner.

After watching the street for a few more moments, she turned and entered the inn, heading straight for her desk, eager to get to work, if only to make the time pass more quickly. Periodically, she checked her watch, mentally subtracting the five-hour time difference. Before leaving, Luke had made her promise one more time to call Rory and she knew that she needed to call today before she lost her nerve and started putting it off. She spent the morning immersed in work that had piled up during the trip to Skye and didn't notice how much time had passed until she heard dishes clanging in the kitchen, signaling the start of lunch. Before she could talk herself out of it, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

Rory answered tentatively after a few rings, "Mom?"

"Yeah, it's me. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine. How about you? How's the inn?"

"I'm good. The inn's good. How about the daycare center?"

"It's good. I'm learning a lot." The small talk was painful. Lorelai couldn't remember it ever being this difficult to talk to her daughter. After a pause, Rory continued, "So, how's Luke? Have you had a good visit?"

With a pang of loneliness, Lorelai answered, "We had a great visit, but he went home this morning."

"I'm glad you had fun. It's great that he could come visit you," Rory said, a touch wistfully.

"We did have a great time. We went out to the Isle of Skye for a couple of days." Listening to herself, Lorelai knew that she couldn't take the small talk much longer. "Hey, do you think that you're going to keep going to the dinners with Luke?"

"Why? Do you not want me to?" Rory asked, a little bitterly.

Stung, Lorelai responded defensively, "That's not what I meant at all. I just…you should keep going. I mean, if you want to."

"I do want to," she answered, her voice confused, "but why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you all of a sudden telling me I should go when you were so upset last week?"

Lorelai could hear the angry frustration in Rory's voice and she almost gave up, almost suggested that they try again another day, but instead she took a deep breath and went on. "Whatever is going on with us, and however long it takes us to fix it, you don't need my permission to talk to Luke. And you should…I mean…have a relationship with Luke. He's going to be…well, we're getting married, so he's going to be…"

"My stepfather."

"Yeah," Lorelai breathed, surprised at how strange it felt to hear the word. As much as she wanted to pull Luke into her family, putting a name on the role made her a little conflicted. There was a part of her that felt a little strange about Luke and Rory having a relationship separate from her. Rory had been the center of her life for so long, and no matter how close Rory ever got to her grandparents or her father, she had always felt like the center of Rory's life. Watching her build another relationship, have a new person to lean on, hurt. Though she knew it was a necessary step in letting her child grow up, she still wasn't quite sure she was ready for it. Realizing that Rory seemed to be waiting for her to say more, she added brightly, "And he won't ever admit it, but I think he's really looking forward to seeing you again."

"Good. Maybe I'll stop by tomorrow night." The topic of Luke seemingly exhausted, the conversation stalled again. "Well…uh, I should get going I guess."

"Oh, sure. You've got to get your day started. I don't want to keep you."

"You're not keeping me. I'm glad you called, Mom," Rory said sincerely.

"Yeah? Good. I'll give you a call in a few days, okay?"

"That sounds great. Bye, Mom."

"Bye…Hey, Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"I've seen lots of stuff here that you'd like. I'll have pictures to show you when I get home. I mean, if you want." It felt like a last desperate attempt at something resembling a connection to her daughter, but it seemed to work.

"I'd like that," she responded warmly. "I want to hear all about it."

"Good. Well, in a few weeks then."

"Yeah, I'll see you then. Bye Mom."

"Bye Rory."

Lorelai hung up, holding her phone loosely while replaying the conversation in her head, wondering if it was always going to be that difficult to talk to her daughter.

The rest of the day passed uneventfully, if slowly, and Lorelai was relieved to crawl into bed at the end of it. As she snuggled under her sheets, she had to remind herself not to reach for her phone, knowing Luke would not arrive home for several hours.

In spite of being exhausted by a full day of work and the late night before Luke's departure, Lorelai found it difficult to sleep. The room was too quiet and she missed feeling the soft thump of Luke's heartbeat. She woke to a dark sky and silent inn, and wondered how long she'd actually slept. Glancing at the clock, she did the mental arithmetic before picking up her phone and dialing.

"Hello?" He sounded surprised.

"Hey, it's me."

"Lorelai? What are you doing calling in the middle of the night?"

She could hear confusion and worry in his voice and spoke before he could continue, "I woke up and you weren't here."

"Oh. Even in the single word she could hear his tone shift from concerned to touched.

"Will you tell me about your flight?"

"My flight?" The request seemed to baffle him.

"Well, anything really. Just talk to me?" she pleaded. "It will help me fall asleep."

He agreed and proceeded to fill her in about the details of his overseas flight and arrival back in Stars Hollow. She asked a few questions and attempted tired banter, but mainly let his voice lull her into a restful peace. When she could no longer hold back a yawn, they reluctantly said their goodbyes and agreed to talk again at the typical time. Too tired to move, Lorelai clicked off her phone and held it against her chest as she drifted easily off to sleep.

August brought the busiest part of the tourist season and made Lorelai wonder briefly why The Durham Group was concerned about the occupancy rate at this inn. The rooms were booked solid and the dining room bustled noisily during breakfast. It relieved Lorelai to be busy at the inn, as it distracted her from missing Luke and worrying about Rory. Soon after he left, one of the waitresses announced that she needed to return home for the rest of the summer to care for a sick family member, and Lorelai and Elizabeth found themselves needing to hire someone in a hurry. Luckily, Anne's mother, Louise, was looking for a job that didn't require as many nighttime hours as her current position, and they were able to hire her for breakfast and lunch.

Louise fell easily into the routine of the inn, quickly making friends with the entire staff. It seemed she was constantly in motion, fetching one thing or another for the guests without a word of complaint. She had an energy and a friendly smile that reminded Lorelai of Sookie, though without Sookie's tendency toward bubbliness. It gave Lorelai pangs of homesickness and she realized not only how much she missed Luke and Rory, but also the Dragonfly and all of Stars Hollow.

Watching the staff, though, Lorelai felt a sense of pride at their efficiency. Louise had only been a part of the staff for a little over a week, but she had found the perfect balance between friendliness and professionalism. Without being intrusive, she talked with guests about their plans, gave directions, and made suggestions when asked, often adding a bit of a story to her descriptions.

On this particular day, toward the end of breakfast, when much of the crowd had finished and set out for their sightseeing, Lorelai returned to the dining room from the kitchen and found two of the guests begging Louise for another story. She relented, and at their urging, sat for a moment. As she began telling some story about Stirling Castle she claimed to have learned in school, a few other guests leaned in, nudging their chairs closer. After a few minutes, Louise had the rapt attention of several guests, including one couple who had slid their whole table over to where she sat.

Lorelai paused, leaning against the doorway, enjoying the story herself, as well as a moment to breathe after a busy morning. She must have moved or made a sound, because Louise looked up at her and then glanced back to the guests before apologizing for sitting down on the job. At the anxious look on the guest's faces, Lorelai urged her to continue her story, since everyone seemed to be enjoying it so much. That prompted another couple to move their own table closer and give approving smiles to Lorelai.

Later, in preparation for lunch, Lorelai found Elizabeth moving the tables back, muttering about how they had gotten out of place. In a moment of inspiration, she suggested that they leave a few of them together, reasoning that there were plenty of tables and some of the people who'd met over breakfast might like a chance to talk more over another meal. As she suspected, over the next few days the larger table invited the guests to interact with each other more, especially those who were staying more than one night. It gave the meal a warm and friendly feel, and though Elizabeth had been skeptical at the suggestion, even she seemed to agree that everyone looked like they were enjoying themselves just a bit more.

Seeing how popular Louise was with the guests, Lorelai and Elizabeth discussed the best way to use her skills. In the end, they transitioned her into a position that combined the responsibilities of hostess and concierge, roles that Louise fell into naturally. The shift and the subsequent tiny changes in the atmosphere of the inn confirmed for Lorelai that focusing on the personality of the inn was the right approach. She encouraged the staff to explore the town more and suggested to Elizabeth that they make it a priority to hire locally when possible.

Throughout the remaining weeks, as Lorelai added more and more ideas into her report for the Durham Group, her thoughts went back to the beach on Skye and to Luke. Just as he had always done, he not only believed in her, but supported her unconditionally and it made her that much more eager to get back to Stars Hollow. Her habit of calling him before going to bed continued, though occasionally she found herself absorbed in work so late that rather than disturb Luke during dinner rush, she waited to call him the following day. He listened patiently to her ideas, shared glimpses of home, and, very occasionally, let it slip that he missed her.

She continued talking to Rory every few days and though their conversations remained stilted, Lorelai gradually shared more details about her work at the inn and Rory told her a little about her work at the daycare center. They followed a set of unspoken rules, Lorelai avoiding any mention of Logan or Yale and Rory managing to stay silent about her grandparents.

With less than two weeks of her consulting trip remaining, Lorelai spent more and more hours planning, working with Elizabeth, and writing her report in the tiny office. Early one morning, checking her e-mail before breakfast got underway, she saw with surprise that there was a note from Rory in her inbox.

She had wondered occasionally why they didn't e-mail each other. In some ways it might have been easier, since conversational lulls over the phone were so painfully obvious. But there was something about e-mail that was both too intimate and too remote at the same time. Or maybe it was that e-mailing each other was something they had done when Rory was at Yale. In any case, an e-mail now surprised her and she hesitated before clicking on it.

Dear Mom,

I know that I haven't told you much about my community service assignment, or about anything for that matter, but I really am enjoying it, probably more than I should be. I'm learning a lot and it's making me see things that I hadn't considered before. I'm starting to feel like I have options again.

But that's not the real reason I'm writing this to you. As much as I'm enjoying it here, this is a really sad place sometimes. There are so many people here in terrible situations, things I can't imagine having to deal with. The kids need so much and their parents (well, really their moms) work so hard to give them everything they need, but it's so difficult.

Watching these kids with their moms makes me think of how hard it must have been for you, when you left home with me. A bunch of the moms here are teenagers, like you were, but they all seem so defeated. It makes me think how lucky I was to have had you. I don't know how you did it, but you always seemed hopeful. You never gave up and you always believed in me.

I didn't really get it until now, how hard it must have been for you. All I have from my childhood are happy memories. I don't know how you did it, how you stayed so optimistic, but I have to thank you for that. I'm starting to understand now how much you gave up for me, how hard you worked so that I could have the life you should have had. I don't know exactly what where I'm going from here, but I'm going to make you proud. I promise you that.

Thank you for everything.

I love you,

Rory

A few tears slipped down her face as Lorelai finished reading the e-mail and she numbly reached for her phone, knowing she had to call Rory immediately. It wasn't until the phone started ringing that she realized that she had no idea what to say or where to start.

Rory answered groggily, her voice hoarse and confused, "Hello."

"Rory. Oh god, I'm sorry. I woke you. I forgot about the time difference. God, I'm an idiot." Lorelai could hear her voice cracking through the tears.

"Mom?" Rory sounded a little more coherent, but still bewildered.

"I'm sorry. Should I call back later?"

"No, you don't have to. I can…I'm up. So…why are you calling now?" Suddenly anxious, she asked, "You're okay, right?"

"I'm fine," Lorelai answered, trying to steady her voice and figure out what to say. As usual, her mouth responded before her brain could process what she was saying, "But I'm a little worried that your identity has been stolen."

"What?" Rory's voice betrayed her utter confusion.

"I just wanted to make sure that you haven't been the victim of email hacking. You know, those spammers can do almost anything with e-mail – make you think they're your bank, or-"

"Mom," she interrupted, with a trace of frustration, "it's the middle of the night. Please tell me what's going on."

"I got your e-mail," Lorelai said softly.

"Oh."

"Rory…" she started, eyes spilling over again as she tried to figure out where to start.

"Mom?" she asked, concerned.

"I just…that letter…I can't tell you how much it means to me. I just can't believe that you wrote it."

"I've been…doing a lot of thinking lately, about everything, and I realized how much I've let you down."

The sadness and resignation in Rory's words prompted Lorelai's immediate response, "You've never let me down."

"Yes," Rory said evenly, "I have, and after all you've done for me."

"Rory, everybody makes mistakes. You've met me, right?"

Lorelai thought she heard a chuckle then before Rory answered, "I don't know how things got so out of control, when life got to be so hard, when I started sucking at everything."

"Hey, don't do that. Don't doubt yourself. What happened to that kid who stood up to Headmaster Charleston, the one who tamed Paris?"

"That was high school. Yale is different. Real life is different," Rory said softly, sounding defeated.

"Bull."

"Mom!" she protested.

"You let some asshole convince yourself that you weren't good enough for something that you're already good at, something you've been doing for years," Lorelai argued, then mumbled, "Stupid Huntzbergers."

"Mom." Rory spoke with a warning tone.

"No Rory," she insisted, "you never used to wonder if you were good enough, but ever since you met Logan…" Having said the name, Lorelai knew she'd crossed a line, knew she'd violated their unspoken rules.

"Mom," she pleaded, "I don't want to talk about-"

"Gah! I didn't call to fight with you. How did we get here?" This was what she feared every time she spoke to Rory lately, that they would say things they'd regret and make the rift wider. She couldn't do that anymore. Not after reading that note.

"Uh.." Rory started.

"Don't answer that."

"Okay…but…why did you call?" she asked, the confusion back.

"Because it's not everyday that you get a letter from your kid thanking you for being a mom. Not every kid would write that." She was unable to keep her voice from shaking a bit.

She could hear Rory take a breath before saying softly, "You're not just any mom."

Lorelai could feel her eyes filling and a few tears traced paths down her cheeks. "Rory, this is like the best thing that anyone has ever given me, has ever said, but you have to know, I had help. I couldn't have done it without Sookie, Mia, Luke…well, the whole town. I just got lucky that when I decided to leave my parent's house that I ended up in Stars Hollow."

"There's more to it than that," Rory insisted. "You never gave up. You knew what you wanted and didn't stop until you got it. You're strong. I've always wanted to be as strong as you."

"You are."

"No, I'm not. I'd like to be." Rory's voice was steady and quiet, but as she went on Lorelai could hear it breaking. "I'm trying. I just needed to let you know that I get it, why you won't let me give up, how much you've given up and done for me. I don't want to let you down. I want you to be proud of me, but I still don't know how I'm going to do that. I need some time to figure it out."

Lorelai's heart hurt hearing the sadness in Rory's words. "I've always been proud of you," she choked out. "I'm sorry you didn't know that."

"After what happened…this summer, I'm not so sure I deserve that, but thank you." She sounded unsure, and hesitated before saying, "I'm glad that you called."

"Me too, but I'm sorry that I woke you," Lorelai said apologetically. "I should let you get back to sleep. I'll call you in a few days."

After exchanging goodbyes and hanging up, Lorelai felt both relieved and anxious. Though the wall between she and Rory finally seemed to be cracking, there was still so much left to resolve. She ached to be back in the same room with her daughter, where she could wrap her arms around her and convince her that things would get better.

Her thoughts made her restless and homesick, and she found herself wanting to hear Luke's reassuring voice. Remembering that she'd woken Rory, Lorelai made herself wait a couple of hours before calling him. With all the thoughts running through her head, she struggled to perform even the simplest functions, and she finally settled on inventory as the most mindless of the tasks on her to-do list. A couple of hours later, she dialed, calling Luke's upstairs number instead of the more familiar diner number.

"Hello?" he answered, seemingly perplexed by the call.

"Hey Luke, it's me,"

"Lorelai? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I got a note…an email from Rory." She could feel her voice cracking and took a breath to try to regain her composure.

"What! Is she okay?" His concern was so sweet she almost laughed.

"She's okay. We're both fine."

"Then what's going on? It's early-"

She cut him off, "I'm sorry to call so early. It's just…I wanted to talk to you."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Now his concern was turning to frustration and she knew she needed to explain.

"I'm fine. Really. I just got this letter from Rory. And Luke, I've never…Luke, she thanked me."

"For what?" he sounded confused.

"She thanked me for being her mom and taking care of her. She said she's met a lot of teen mothers at her job. She said I was strong, but she doesn't get it. I had help. I had Mia and Sookie and the whole town and for a long time, you. She didn't get that I couldn't have done it without everyone else. I tried to explain how lucky I was, but she didn't get it." The words flowed out, Lorelai knowing in her head what she wanted to say, but the words coming out strangely disorganized. She needed to explain to Luke, to thank him, to help him understand his role in this, but he responded too quickly, before she could get her thoughts straightened out.

"You are strong. You've always been strong," he insisted. "If it hadn't been Stars Hollow, it would have happened somewhere else. You can do anything you set your mind to, just like this job."

The unconditional support was overwhelming and so typically Luke that he made her point without realizing it. "But that's just what I mean. Even this job. You're the one who pushed me to do it. I didn't think I could, but you pushed me. And even when I got mad at you and wanted to give up you helped me figure out how to do it. And now, I'm doing it. I'm making a difference."

"Of course you are. I never doubted you, you know."

She marveled at the matter-of-fact tone in his voice, at the strength of his belief in her. "I know that, and if you hadn't pushed me. I might not have ever known…" her voice wavered as it trailed off.

"Known what?" he asked when she didn't continue.

"That I can do it," she said hesitantly, "and that I like it."

A long moment passed before he responded, slowly and deliberately, "Then I'm glad you decided to try it." He paused before continuing. "Do you think…are you going to do more…consulting? Do they want you to do more? Do you want…?"

She could hear the hesitation and uncertainty in his voice, but could barely process anything beyond the questions themselves. There were a lot of questions – questions that she couldn't answer yet. "I don't know, there's a lot to think about. I mean, Mike said they might have some other opportunities available. He tried to talk me into staying longer here, but I've been gone so long already…"

The silence hung there for a moment while she waited for him to say something. When he did, he spoke steadily and she couldn't interpret his tone. "You could stay if you wanted to, or if there's another opportunity to go somewhere else."

"But I don't want to," Lorelai protested, riddled with confusion about how this conversation had taken this turn. "I want to come home. I miss you. Don't you miss me?"

His voice softened. "Of course I do, but if you have the opportunity, you shouldn't pass it up."

For the first time since Luke had left Scotland, Lorelai could feel the tennis match again. The games in her head had subsided soon after Luke left, optimism pulling far enough ahead to stop the worrying, but now his questions and suggestions unsettled her and made her wonder, "Luke, I had the opportunity. Now I want to come home and plan our wedding, except that it worries me that it sounds like you don't want to do the same. What's going on? Don't you want to marry me?"

"Of course I do. I just don't want marrying me to keep you from doing what you want to do with your life. If you want to travel, consult, I don't want you feeling like you can't because of me." He spoke with sincerity and feeling.

"Are you saying that if we're together, you don't want me to travel?" Lorelai pushed him, desperately confused. "I don't get this. You're the one who pushed me to do this. Now you're saying I have to choose?"

"Of course not. I just don't want to hold you back."

She finally lost her patience, frustrated at his lack of understanding. "You're not. You've never held me back. That's the point, don't you get it?"

"Get what?"

"You're the one who helped me get through this, who helped me see what I had to offer. You helped push me to figure out how to help here. I don't think I could have done it without you."

"Of course you could. You can do anything." The way that he wrote off his importance to her disturbed Lorelai, and made her try even harder to convince him.

"But that's exactly what I mean. You always believe in me, no matter what. So yes, you've helped me realize that I can do this, but you also helped me see why I love Stars Hollow and the Dragonfly so much. The thing is Luke, I don't want to do any of it without you."

"But what about the other opportunities?" he pressed, making her wonder again why it always came back this.

"What about them? I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out, but right now, I really want to come home and see you."

"Okay," he said, sounding a little skeptical, but then lowering his voice and saying softly, "I do want to see you too."

"Well, good, 'cause I was starting to wonder," Lorelai said, her voice bright, trying to hide the tension she felt. She continued talking, but steered the conversation away from consulting and all the questions that she didn't yet know how to answer. They spoke a while longer, and she kept the conversation intentionally light. By the time they had said their goodbyes, their easy banter had returned, though twinges of uncertainty still stung in the back of Lorelai's mind. It frustrated her to try to interpret thoughts and feelings through satellite signals and she longed to be home where she could look Luke in the eye and find out what was really going on in his head.

To be continued