Lost and Found
By: Junsui Kegasu
A/N: Thy chapeth begineth! o.o
Disclaimer: Thy Naruto series belongeth to thy awesome Kishimoto Masashi-sama.
Chapter 8
The rest of the bus ride to the mall was uneventful. Gaara spent most of the time lost deep in thought, and Kankurou and Neji were making friendly small talk.
The redhead inwardly sighed again. Neji...he didn't know what he thought of Neji. Something about him was just...different...When he was around, things seemed like they were going to be okay.
Their first meeting had kind of left him with the impression that Neji was kind of a snobby punk. Of course, after their meetings the next day, he couldn't really keep that opinion.
He frowned. That's what had him confused. Why hadn't he freaked out? He felt just...well, normal. As if Kankurou were doing it or something. He always trusted Kankurou. Ever since the incident when he was 12, he had never liked any form of physical contact, save from his siblings.
So why was Neji an exception? Maybe he had just been so out of it, or so embarrassed, that he only had time to become flustered, and not think about what Neji could have possibly done to him.
And now that he thought about it, he hadn't really minded Neji carrying him at all. Had he finally recovered?
No, he couldn't have. When that gecko girl touched him, he freaked out. So, that just led back to the previous question: Why was Neji and exception?
He didn't know. Maybe...
He paled, but it wasn't very noticeable. Even having gone through puberty, he had yet to truly determine his sexuality. Was that what it was? Did he have a CRUSH on NEJI?
Surprisingly, he managed to control the blush that threatened to spread across his face (I don't think you can control blushing, but Gaara's special...IF HAKU CAN HAVE X-RAY VISION IN VINDICATED, GAARA CAN CONTROL BLUSHING!) Neji would be his first crush. Because of home life, he had always been so afraid to get close to people.
And of course, the few times he did make friends, look what happened. Almost raped by one, and the rest just thought he was a freak as soon as they walked into their house.
Their house in Sunaga hadn't been very...discreet to the happenings of it. Blood stained the walls in some places, and the house had always been littered with bottles of alcohol. They'd walk in, glance around, suddenly pale and make up an excuse or flat out tell him he was a freak.
...He bet Neji wouldn't call him a freak.
His eyes widened, but he didn't think Kankurou or Neji, both too engrossed in their small talk noticed. He really DID have a crush on this boy!
Oh well...its not like it'd ever amount to anything. Their father was very close-minded. Homosexuality would be considered a ''stake'.
He sighed. Everything he did was considered a ''stake'. After all, he killed Mom...
The same pangs of guilt that had plagued him last night shot through him. What had Kankurou's words been?
'"NO! Never! Don't you EVER think like that, Gaara! EVER." He said firmly.'
Those words gave him a bit of reassurance, but he just didn't know anymore. He was being pulled in so many different directions...at school he was this shy little kid who didn't like being called on, around their father he was some stuttering moron who didn't deserve to live, and around Kankurou, Temari, and now Neji, he was...well, as close to normal was he would ever get.
A grim smile spread through him inwardly. He never had deserved to live. Having this demon within him was the only way he would've survived.
He didn't remember, but according to Kankurou, who must have had a very good memory as a two-year-old, he'd been born feverish and premature, and his chances of living had been very slim.
But their mother had wanted her third baby to live. The only solution was to use arts back from the feudal times to seal a sand incarnation within him. It had been said that being possessed by this creature would give you eternal protection.
But the description never mentioned the insomnia. Or the voices. Or the bloodlust.
His mother had loved him anyway. He had a feeling his father had hated him from birth. Hated how much affection he was showered with. Her being there was the only restraint from beating him, and possibly his siblings.
If he had ever hated Temari and Kankurou, it ended as soon as their mother had died. All his hatred had just been directed to him.
He still had the scars, the unfading scars, from his first beating at the tender age of three years old. All over his back and legs and arms, and even a few on his neck, where he had been sliced or stabbed with kitchen knives, thrown into glass which shattered, upon many other things.
After that first episode was when he stopped trusting anyone. For a while, he had even avoided Kankurou and Temari to the best of his three-year-old ability. He remembered when that had changed.
FLASHBACK
Four-year-old Gaara sniffled and once more tried to drag himself up the looming staircase before him. He just couldn't do it. Didn't have the energy.
Losing his footing, he tripped again, falling forward and rolling down the staircase. He didn't cry, it just added with the rest of the shooting pain in his tiny body.
He was determined to get up those steps. He couldn't stay in the living room. No...Daddy was in the living room.
Getting a grip on the carpeting that covered the stairs, he pulled himself up a few. He repeated this until he was at the top step, where the carpeting had been torn off.
A tiny hand felt around the smooth surface. He couldn't grip onto anything. Tears that threatened to fall earlier, but had been forbidden now streamed down his face.
Curling into a ball on that step, he cried. He tried to be quiet about it; waking up Daddy was bad.
He heard footsteps, and he curled tighter into his ball. Maybe, if he curled tight enough, no one could hurt him. No more hurting...It sounded nice. He heard someone crouch on the squeaky step.
"Gaara?" Kankurou whispered, worry crossing his six-year-old features.
The small redhead whimpered and dug himself further into his ball. Kankurou sighed, and easily scooped his brother up into his arms. He was smaller than the average four year old by a long shot, so Kankurou could easily pick him up like he would a smaller toddler. (No, hes not the same size as a two year old...maybe the same size as a three year old...)
He pulled him into his room before setting him on the bed. Gaara uncurled himself and instead opted to sit with his tiny hands folded in his lap and his legs dangling off the side of the bed.
Kankurou surveyed how bad he had been beaten this time. Noting that there was blood that was soaking through his pants, he left the room and quickly returned with a lot of band-aids and a wet washcloth. He pulled the pant leg up to his knee. There was a big cut on his thin calf.
A light bulb went off in the brunette's head. When Mommy was here, he once got a really big cut from climbing on one of the rocks by their house, and she used the roll of band-aid-cloth. (Bandages. Come on now, he's SIX.) Grabbing a stool, he went back to the bathroom and grabbed the roll of bandages.
He took a glance at his sniffling little brother. "Gaara...its gonna be okay, awright?" he whispered, trying to comfort him.
The redhead looked up. Solid green eyes, forever framed by dark rings stared at him in confusion.
"But...but how?" He said, his voice so soft Kankurou hardly detected it.
Kankurou smiled and wrapped his arms around the boy in front of him. He let his chin rest on top of the boy's head. "It just will. You'll see. One day, everything's just gonna end with Daddy, and new stuff will be even better." He smiled again and looked into the green orbs again.
Tears were falling, but he had a small smile on his face. That made Kankurou happy; he hadn't seen the toddler smile in a long time.
When he was done bandaging his leg, he noticed the blood soaking through his shirt.
"Gaara...can I take that off so I can band-aid-cloth that?"
Gaara fidgeted for a moment, then nodded and pulled the white t-shirt over his head. Kankurou stared. There was a large gash on his chest and it looked like a lot of blood. He swallowed hard and summoned his courage before wiping the excess blood from the cut, and then messily bandaged it.
"Is there anywhere else?"
Gaara went silent for a moment. After a while, he looked up again, and the look of despair in his eyes tore Kankurou apart.
"It...hurts everywhere...but especially here..." he whispered, clutching at his chest.
"T-the cut?" he whispered, appalled by his brother's words.
Gaara shook his head. "No...it's wike...inside..." he said, tears falling once more.
Kankurou felt his own tear ducts begin to well up, and he climbed up on the bed. Sitting in front of his brother for a few moments, he let his own tears start to fall. He collected himself, and pulled the smaller boy in front of him into a caring embrace, rubbing his back and running his hands through his hair.
The toddler collapsed and lost it, sobbing all out into his brother's chest. Forty-five minutes later, when Temari came in, Gaara was asleep in the larger boys arms, catching a rare night of rest.
"What happened?" she asked in a hushed tone; even at seven years old, she knew how good it was that Gaara was sleeping.
"Daddy hurt him again, so I band-aid-clothed him back up." he said. "You know...I don't like Daddy anymore. I think I hate him." the six year old scowled.
Temari smiled sadly. "I hate him too, Kanky...I hate him too..."
END FLASHBACK
"Gaara?"
Gaara snapped out of his thoughtful state. Kankurou was looking at him with a look of concern on his face.
"H-huh?"
"We're here. You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
All three boys walked off the bus. Gaara thought about what Kankurou had said all those years ago.
"It just will. You'll see. One day, everything's just gonna end with Daddy, and new stuff will be even better."
Ten years had passed since that day. After a while, Gaara had lost faith in them. But now, with the meeting of Neji, maybe there was truth in those comforting words.
A/N: And this is the end.
Reviewers: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? HELL NO IT AIN'T!
:sweatdrop: You're right, you're right. I just couldn't HELP myself there! It was such a good 'ending place' that I had to put an author's note there!
They stopped in front of the large building known as the mall.
"Whoa…" This huge structure must have been twice the size of Sunaga's mall. On the top sat a glass dome, where you could probably see inside the main part of the mall from an aerial view. There looked like there must have been a billion stores in there.
Kankurou grinned. "Perfect. First, we'll try Hot Topic, and then we can go off to somewhere else. First thing first, Gaara!"
Gaara groaned. Why couldn't they do the clothes shopping later? He hated it when Kankurou spent his money (which actually, Gaara thought, was probably his father's, as Kankurou didn't have a job…) on him because he hadn't been smart enough to do something. Like pack clothing.
As if reading his mind, Kankurou gave him a reassuring smile. "It ain't my money; it's Dad's. Don't worry about it."
Neji laughed. These two were really quite the comical pair when they were together. He wondered how things were when they added the sister into the mix. Outwardly, they seemed like a happy enough family, but he didn't know that for sure, and Neji wasn't one who was quick to judge. Especially not by outward appearance alone.
Once Gaara and Kankurou were finally done gawking at the mall's size, Neji led them through automatic doors that led down a hallway leading towards the main part of the mall with all the maps and such. There were a few stores down this hall, but never ones that Neji had gone to.
"Whoa…dude, your mall is even awesomer now! Hot Topic is right up front!"
Neji turned back, confused. Kankurou was standing in front of what seriously looked like the entrance to Hell. Oh yeah. That store. It kind of scared him. But hey, Kankurou said Gaara was getting clothes from here, and he was the brother, so he'd just follow along.
While Gaara and Kankurou walked into the gated entryway casually, Neji couldn't help but give random small side glances to make sure the Grim Reaper wasn't gonna come out and kill him.
"Hi! Welcome to Hot Topic! May I help you?"
Neji jumped a foot in the air. In front of them stood a tallish woman wearing a black short-sleeved shirt with the store's logo on it. Her nametag read 'Jessi', and at the bottom of the plastic were many small silver rings (almost like the earrings his cousin wore) stuck through it. She had a nose piercing, and her ears didn't really have any 'ear' left; it looked like it was all jewelry.
Neji's logic: Freaky girl is equivalent to….GRIM REAPER!
Kankurou smiled politely. "Yeah, actually. I'm looking for clothes for him." he jabbed a finger in Gaara's general direction. "He is…uhh…very on the small side, so I wasn't sure if I'd find any pants with a small enough waistband browsing."
The girl nodded. "Okay, he can come with me, I'll take his waist size, and then I'll let you guys look through some pants that I'd have available in his size.
Kankurou nodded in comprehension. He wasn't sure about Konoha, but back in Sunaga, all the people he knew who shopped from here either had bad home life, were anorexic or bulimic, cut themselves, had attempted suicide, stuff like that; all tending to keep them on the 'very small' side. AKA horribly underweight.
"Alright, please follow me." She said cheerfully, walking away.
"Go, Gaara." Kankurou said. Gaara stopped from where he was browsing the t-shirts and turned to follow her off.
"Kankurou…do you shop here often?"
"Yeah, all the time. Favorite place to shop."
"…Do you realize the prices?"
"I never said I shopped with MY money." The painted boy said, walking over to pick up a pair of fishnet sleeves for his brother since he liked his so much. Shirts would be no problem, unless he wanted a fishnet shirt, which in that case he'd need to go with Jessi again, since those were generally skin-tight.
About ten minutes later (Neji kept track of time, since he was so nervous in the store, not that he let it show) Gaara and Jessi returned with pants slung over their arms. There were about five pairs, which Neji guessed was adequate for Kankurou.
"Thank you, Jessi. We should be okay as far as shirts are concerned."
"Alright! Well, I'll be over by the cash register if I'm needed again!"
Neji blinked. The Grim Reaper seemed nice enough. Maybe this store wasn't so bad…
Fifteen minutes later, the three boys walked out, Kankurou (looking very harassed) carrying all of Gaara's three bags.
"Hey…are you two hungry? I didn't really have breakfast…" Neji gave a sheepish smile, one hand pressed against his rumbling stomach.
Kankurou and Gaara exchanged glances. Temari had made them breakfast this morning, but they were hungry again already, so what ever. Kankurou wanted to see what the food court was like. Gaara wanted to go to the arcade. They were close. Siblings – 2. Neji – Not participating.
Gaara glanced up at a clock they passed on their way to the food court, which was in the very central of the mall. It read 11:30 AM. Wow. It seemed like just a few minutes ago had been 8:30, on that crowded bus with all those Jr. High kids. He really hoped he didn't have to ever ride with them again.
Once at the court, Kankurou stared in awe. There must have been over twenty areas to get food at. And all of them looked appetizing. After spending about ten minutes dashing to each one and glancing at the menu, he finally ordered a sushi platter and some soda and sat down. Gaara had just gotten a medium fries at one of the fast food joints he had looked at, and a caramel frappuccino. Gaara went to the same place as Neji (or vice versa), it seemed, as Neji had gotten a large fries and a large double cheeseburger. (That thought ALMOST makes me miss meat……………..Almost. Only because I haven't eaten in…4 meals.)
They spent almost a half hour there just eating and talking, and then Gaara wanted to go to the arcade.
Mind you, in Sunaga, the Sabaku family lived quite close to the mall. Their mall had the arcade near the entrance. Said mall also happened to be open 24-7. What do you think our resident insomnia did in the time he had money and wasn't being disturbed?
Think about this for a second. A game that gets your adrenaline pumping…you just need to beat it…need to get that perfect score…that AAA…the game that kept even the sleepiest person awake, despite it's immense movement…
DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!
And our redhead was thrilled to see one in the Konoha arcade, and even more enthusiastic to find it wasn't in use at the moment. He wasn't even going to let his limp hinder him.
Kankurou sighed and handed him a ten-dollar bill, knowing just how long his brother could go at that game, regardless of any 'handicaps'.
Neji watched with awe at how gracefully the boy moved. Even without looking at the screen, he knew he was in perfect rhythm with the song that was playing. It appeared to be one of his favorites.
'She knows the voices in her head. They tell her…to leave. She's tired smiling madly until silence becomes (very silently) a noise in her mind. After all, she's got nothing inside. No good to give; no meaning to live. The misting engulfed tonight every single star…'
(Delirium – After all)
Neji didn't catch the rest of the lyrics; he was too busy watching the redheads feet move to the techno beat. When the song finished, a crowd in the back that had gathered without them knowing cheered wildly.
Gaara hadn't noticed them either, and jumped, startled. He turned in amazement. This would've never happened in Sunaga. The most attention he'd get was to be shoved off the metal platform and told not to show off anymore.
He hardly had time to revel in this new feeling before suddenly, the world tilted and lurched. He vaguely felt himself fall forward, and a sharp pain in the back of his head that had been less than a dull throb this morning made itself known.
It took him a minute to realize his impact to the ground hadn't come. Looking up, he saw a blurry image of a longhaired boy with a concerned expression before everything went dark.
"G-gaara!" Kankurou cried, rushing through the crowd that for the last five minutes or so blocked him off. Neji had situated him so that he was carrying the boy the same way he had yesterday. Gaara was completely limp and slipping in and out of consciousness.
"Did he dehydrate himself while playing that game?" Neji suggested as they walked as quickly as possible out of the arcade.
"I-I don't know! I should've made him stay home…" the older boy bit his lip, then placed the back of his hand on his brother's forehead. "Yeah…it went up. I can't tell to what though…" he bit his lip again.
"Do you think we should go home?" Neji asked, glancing down at the redhead in his arms.
"Mm…no. The bus might be crowded; I don't want to put any of us through that. He might get claustrophobic in his sleep; I don't know."
Neji nodded, understanding, then made a turn to the restroom areas. "We can keep him in the boy's bathroom until he wakes up, and then we'll leave for home."
Kankurou nodded, and held the door for the both of them.
In the bathroom, they just sat on the floor, Neji keeping Gaara held in his lap. Silence had passed between the two for a while.
"Kankurou?"
"...Yeah?"
"Um…do you think…he'd get freaked out if he woke up and I was holding him…?"
Kankurou considered this. Yes, he might. Yes, that might make Neji suspicious. "I think he might, actually…Sorry, Neji." The painted boy apologized; he felt bad that he'd blatantly told him that.
Neji nodded in acceptance and gently passed the sleeping boy over. Kankurou hadn't held him in a while; he felt too light. Far too light and he could feel the back of his ribs and spine very clearly. Too clearly.
It was about a half of an hour before Gaara ended up waking up. Kankurou realized that the boy must've now been extremely drained; he'd been catching sleep often lately. As good as that was, the effect it had on him was quite excruciating.
"Mm…Kank'rou?"
Kankurou smiled at the slurred, sleepy speech. "Yeah?"
"…Where are we?"
"…In the boy's bathroom. In the mall."
"…………"
Neji laughed at the expression on his face. It was a cross between 'WHOA! DUDE!' and 'Suuuure…quit pulling my leg…'.
"Do you think you can stand?" the sophomore asked worriedly.
Only Kankurou noticed the tense in the boy's body at the tone of worry. He knew Gaara hated feeling like a burden. He knew Gaara thought he was always a burden. One of his hands clenched into fists. He had that man to thank for that.
"Yeah." Gaara finally replied, pushing himself off his brother and holding onto the wall for support. When he dropped his hand, he stood fine.
"…Alright…" Neji said, not entirely convinced. "Well, I guess we should get going. It's almost 2o'clock!"
Gaara blinked. That much time had passed? That fast? Usually, time was against him and every minute seemed to be antagonizing him with it's slow pace, seeming to slow with each one passed.
They made their way to the main doors without too much trouble, as the high school hadn't let out yet or the Jr. high for that matter. The bus stop was also just about empty, and Kankurou dug up two more dollar bills, making sure they were straightened this time so the bus driver wouldn't lose his temper with them again.
The bus came down the corner. Walking on, Kankurou and Gaara easily put their bills into the bill acceptor and sat with Neji in the way back of the bus. Only a few people were on right now; they had gotten lucky.
After they got on, the bus driver put up the 'Out of Service' sign. Gaara didn't understand why; they were on it. Didn't that count? They only realized why when he turned into the driveway of the school from before. His eyes widened.
If those girls were like that at 8:30 AM, what were they like at the end of the school day? At least he had a seat this time…
At exactly 2:25, a rush of students came bursting out of the main doors. Among them were the preppy flirty girls. If you haven't guessed by now, Gaara isn't the luckiest banana in the bunch.
Three of the girls got on the bus, giggling loudly, and went to the back.
One stared at him. "Lyke, Omigod. The cutey goes here!" she squealed.
"They look like high school students to me." Another said.
"So? A lot of people at this place do."
"True. Speaking of high school, isn't this bus picking up some today?"
Gaara tuned out the rest of the conversation, staring at his feet. He was trying his hardest not to pass out, but as the bus grew more crowded, the harder it seemed. High school students, huh? A lot more students. Great.
Temari – Physical Education
Temari kicked the black and white soccer ball into the 'goal' place, which was actually just a taped off area of the wall. Glancing up at the clock, she saw they had five minutes left before the bell rang. She put away her ball and waiting for the double whistle so she could go change back into her normal clothing.
She once more thought back on how her brother's were doing. I mean, with their father not home, it'd probably be better, but she couldn't help but worry if they'd eaten enough, if they'd gone somewhere…
She sighed. She made them breakfast, because she knew especially Gaara wouldn't eat unless she had. Kankurou had eaten it, and she was pretty sure Kankurou had Gaara eat it too. He wouldn't have not; it was his favorite breakfast! Chocolate chip muffins with banana slices in them, with blueberry yogurt that had strawberries mixed in.
So what if her brother had an odd palette? She was happy he was EATING. Him being so underweight really scared her.
She hoped Kankurou knew that too. She loved her brother to pieces, but he sometimes wasn't very practical. If he didn't, he'd probably figure it out eventually. She felt too flustered to tell him outright.
Just as she grabbed her stuff and relocked her locker, the bell rang.
Roughly, the bus pulled into another driveway, this time to a not-so-obnoxiously colored school. Students began rushing out, and a few people ended up on this bus.
"Temari!" Kankurou exclaimed.
Gaara looked up. Sure enough, there was his sister.
The spiky-blonde tilted her head to the back.
"Kankurou? Gaara? Sex-offender? I thought you three were suspended!"
"We were! But we went to the mall, and we were going home when it picked up these people." He gestured to the Jr. High students around them. "And you guys." He said.
Temari managed to wade over to the back.
"Um…Sibling-san? My name isn't sex-offender…it's Neji…"
"Well, when you stop calling me 'sibling', I'll stop calling you 'sex-offender'."
"…When you stop calling me 'sex-offender', I'll stop calling you 'sibling.'"
Gaara laughed nervously. He didn't think Neji knew the extent of Temari's insanity. Especially during THAT time of month…
But, the blonde only glared harshly at our long-haired friend and opted for asking how their day went.
"Uh…we went to the mall." Kankurou said quickly.
"And? What happened!"
"We got Gaara clothes and he played DDR for a while."
"Did you eat anything?"
"Yup."
"Good. What's today?"
"…Wednesday…"
"AWESOME!"
"WHY!"
"You'll see! If you don't remember!" she said cheerfully.
YARGH! THAT'S A TOTAL OF FIFTEEN PAGES OF PURE CHAPTER! BE HAPPY!
Review corner, this one loves doing this…
Kanky-chan - …You're only SLIGHTLY slow, my dear cousin…Sam actually keeps doing that goddamned 'cherries' thing right now. I don't know why; but it's definitely still the most amusing thing on the planet. I will write more! I considered when I needed to have this story finished and I've come to the conclusion that it needs to be before you come in the summer. I'm not getting ANYTHING done if you're here. We both know that.
Kurisutaru-chan – Yes, the TARTA bus stuff was very unneeded. Half way through that, writer's block struck me again, so that just came to mind. Chapter seven didn't turn out very well, in my opinion. Gaara is supposed to be OOC around Kanky. He DOES need a break…:sniff: so I kind of gave him one! I mean, one night his ankle gets broken, the next he gets beaten on his mother's death anniversary, he needed a break. And Kanky was there to help him be 'normal' for a bit.
tiggra – Yes, Gaara has split personalities depending on who he's with, as explained in this chapter. It amused me to write him screaming around the house.
Burning tree – You are definitely right to call it that, too. It was VERY rushed, because it was going on a week, and I still hadn't posted that, so I freaked out. On top of that I had writer's block for that chapter, but I think it's all better. The kazekage shall burn…you'll see…
Dragon Man 180 – Don't worry! The kazebastard WILL die!
Sabaku-no-Gaara-sand-nin - …Oh. Okiidays, I'll take your word for it.
spirit element – Yay! I did again, too! Like…three days before my deadline! See, I could walk, but it'd take like an hour and a half, so I just bus. I never piss off the bus driver n.n GAARA KEYCHAIN! LYKE, OMG. I NEED ONE! BADLY! GAARA OBSESSION! REIIIIGNIIIIING! GHAAA!
Fantastical Queen Ebony Black - :nod: The bus ride was supposed to be weird. It was also supposed to waste space.
spork ai – Yes, GO KANKYGAA! I swear, that and DosuZaku are the two most underrated yaoi pairings EVER. The busride people were preppy and scary.
Chronic-fever – Ooo…mercury tipped fingers…Yes, Gaara is VERY squishable. …I need a Gaara plushy. Very badly. Perversion IS very delicious! And no, no KankyGaa. Sowwy. I have an idea for another story that my cousin's badgering me to type out that's KankyGaa! Maybe after LaF is done.
TheFutureFreaksMeOut – You were s'posed to be confuzzled! See, when I'm not pressured, look! I got it out four days ahead of schedule! And YES I LOVE YOUR STORY! Gawd, that story is awesome!
Hurricane-rider – Oh, you know how much I luff torturing you. Having chapters only weekly 'n such. Here's the pretty mall trip for ya. I had fun writing this!