34 The Final Push
The sun was high in the sky, it was a beautiful Los Angeles day, no smog, no mists, but she wasn't in a position to enjoy it. She was running, she didn't know where, but she knew she was running and that she had to get to him, if she didn't the guy just in front of her would hurt him. The sidewalk was hard beneath her feet as she pounded along it. She had never enjoyed running, not for fun anyway, although she had been jogging with both Jesse and Texas in the past. For her job though it was a necessity, somehow no one ever surrendered quietly these days, much preferring to put her through her paces, which normally included a chase, a tackle and then a reading of their rights.
This time though she was trying to prevent an incident. She could see that the guy in front of her had a gun; she also knew that his intended target was Steve, and he was totally unaware of the danger behind him. The buildings all seemed to merge together as she tried to increase her speed, she couldn't call out, not yet, because just as Steve didn't know about the gunman, the gunman didn't know about her. If only she could get a clear shot at him, if only.
Finally, close enough to make a difference, she heard her own voice, "Steve!" it seemed so loud as she thought his name, but came out as no more than a whisper and she could see that he wasn't hearing her at all.
The gun had disappeared and in its place she could see hands, so big, so powerful, they were going to push her partner, she had to grab the hands, but as she reached out, as her fingertips touched them she fell, a scream left her lips and suddenly the only things she could cling to were railings, fire escape railings, but they wouldn't hold her. She felt a hot blast of pain against her fingers and again she was falling, falling forever, and this time, as she fell, Rae knew that she'd never again run after anything or anyone. It was then that her eyes would open, she would gasp for breath and the tears would inevitably start.
There were arms for her to collapse into instantly, and gentle hands to smooth her hair, a kind voice to shush her, but best of all gradually, she knew that she was safe again, that with Jesse beside her she would be ok and, as the tears soaked through his shirt, Rae held him, knowing that however hard this part was, her decision was still the right one.
Jesse had no words to comfort his wife but the noises he made seemed to work, and for that he was grateful. The operation to remove her right leg just below the knee had been hard on all of them, not only Rae. Alex had been asked to assist in the OR but had declined, he had been so upset by the whole thing he had stayed home until Jesse called and let him know she was back in her room.
For some reason Rae hadn't tolerated the anaesthetic at all well, being sick for over two days after she came round. The pain medication dulled not only her leg but also her mental abilities, and it had taken more than a week before she was back to something like the person she had been just prior to the operation.
It had been then the dreams had started. Dreams where she needed to save someone, someone she loved, someone just out of reach, someone she had to run to, and each time she would be in touching distance when she would find herself back on the fire escape, see herself holding on to the bars and realise that she could no longer do these things and she would fall, waking up as she did so, sobbing loudly on occasion or on others just letting the tears roll down her face without a sound.
Although Rae had talked with all her friends, her family, both in LA and London, before the surgery, no one had really been able to understand why she wanted to take such a drastic step without trying the pins in her leg for longer. After the operation though Doctor Somerville had spoken to Jesse and some of her reasons, which may have been only subconscious, became apparent.
The infection that had seemed to overwhelm her so quickly when her medication was stopped had, it became clear, been present for a lot longer than they thought. The antibiotics had kept it under control but never, it seemed, eradicated it and when Jeff removed the leg he realized that Rae's decision had probably saved her from months of what could have been pointless therapy and agonizing pain. They weren't however, sure if Rae had, somehow, known what the future held or whether she had unintentionally prevented herself from the misery of such a virulent infection but, considering she had been certain of her course of action, all were relieved that it had been agreed upon.
By the end of the first week after her operation, it was Rae who was having the difficulty dealing with the outcome of what had been done. Although she still knew that her decision had been the right one, the consequences of that decision had been hard for her to take and her friends and family, now seeing the wisdom of her choice for themselves, knew they needed to rally round and offer all the support they could as she struggled to come to terms with what had and would happen to her.
For the first two weeks Rae had never been alone, someone had always been either in her room with her or, if she needed a little bit of space, just outside in the hallway. Gradually, as the pain began to lessen and her release date came nearer and nearer, she finally began to talk, not very much, but just enough to begin to air her concerns.
The first person she confided in was Mark, and he had sat, her hand in his and listened as she spoke.
"I not pre … pared I think."
Mark knew one of Rae's problems was that she was still unable to talk as she would like. So her thoughts about her leg, the operation, everything she had been though, weren't easy for her to discuss because, even when she wanted to, the words just weren't there.
"Honey, no one is. None of us can understand how you feel, but we can sit, listen to you, try to help. We all love you and just want to have you happy again."
"I know and … I … I sort of happy. I have life … but … dif … ent."
"Rae, this is all new, it's gonna be hard for you to adjust to what you can and can't do any more, but you aren't alone; none of this has to be done by yourself unless you want it to be." Mark knew that there were times when everyone needed their own space and Rae would be no different.
"No, not lone. I … I need talk … you listen … you help Jesse? I … maybe I write it?"
"Sweetie you know I'll listen, Lauren will listen to you, we all will, but some things will have to be worked out by you and Jesse, together. He is talking, but he's listening to the others too, Alex especially, and I think that's helping him a lot. Just be glad you aren't married to Steve!"
"Oh yeah!" Rae had smiled, both of them knowing that the man they loved unconditionally would have turned in on himself if this had happened to Jo, although they would concede that since he had started to speak with Lauren and have his massage treatments he had been far more relaxed than they could ever remember.
After speaking with Mark, Rae had tried to ask questions of all her visitors, just one or two each so that she didn't overload anyone, and when it became clear that Alex would release her in time for Thanksgiving her mind as well as her body was far more accepting of her limitations than it had been.
ooo
Rae had been in the hospital for over seven months, her body gradually recovering from the massive trauma it had suffered when she had been pushed from the fire escape. She had been outside, sitting in the gardens in the California sun, enjoying the warmth of its rays on her face, she had even been for a drive a few times when she felt she might go stir crazy from seeing doctors and nurses all day, but now, as she watched the familiar landscape, made slightly strange by the passing of time, stretched out before her, her heart began to beat loudly in her chest and she clenched her hands into fists in her lap.
"Rae, are you ok?" Jesse had looked over as he waited at a red light on the way into Beverly Hills, knowing that the day was a difficult one for his wife, but not knowing how she would actually deal with it.
"I … yeah … sort of." Words were rushing around in her mind, describing emotions, forming questions, imagining answers, but none of them were formed enough for her to voice them, even if she had been able, and she knew there was only one way to express how she felt. "I … I bundle nerves."
Jesse had laughed, he knew just what she meant, the hours between his waking at seven, and being able to leave to collect his wife at ten had seemed almost as long as the entire time he had been without her. She had missed so many things, birthdays, the day that Eliana started her proper schooling, Anneya standing up in front of her pre-school class and, in sign, welcoming the moms and dads to a new semester, as well as one of the biggest changes in their daughters' lives.
Now that Rae and Jesse had Miss Vicki as well as Mrs Cameron they had decided they no longer needed to send the girls to Sally. It had been a very hard decision to make but, after a little over five years, the time had come to say goodbye.
Sally had been to visit with Rae in the hospital, spending time with her as a friend, and both women knew that even though there was no need for them to meet again they would do so because they enjoyed each other's company.
Rae and Jesse had thought long and hard about what to buy as a parting gift from themselves and the girls but, apart from a photographic portrait which Eliana and Anneya had sat for in the back yard of their home, had come up empty.
One afternoon though, as they sat talking together in the hospital, Sally mentioned that she had found a British link to her family line. Rae, looking confused, had sat and listened as her friend explained to her how she was, gradually, making up her family tree. The task, initially, had been just collecting dates and birth places but, little by little, the complexities of it had drawn Sally in and she was now not only hooked, but also searching through records and documents from the seventeenth century.
After that it had been an easy job for Jesse to search the internet and find a company who offered genealogy courses in the locations where your ancestors had lived. Rae had done some gentle probing, it had taken a while, but she had discovered the English/Welsh borders were where Sally was originally from, and just two days earlier she had boarded a plane to attend a two week course being held in the county town of Hereford.
Rae became aware of the car slowing down and she looked across at her husband knowing that they weren't quite home and wondering what he was doing. "I thought I would just stop a minute, because from here you can see the house, it's missed you as much as you have missed it."
Grateful for his thoughtfulness Rae looked up the driveway to Oak Place, in her mind it had always been beautiful, but now, as she saw it and her heart caught in her throat, she realised just how much a part of them all it had become.
ooo
The cell which had become his home was so familiar to him now that he didn't even think about his life outside of it. He followed a routine which suited him so well that he woke each morning happy to be the one in charge of everyday things, making sure that the room was neat and tidy, that his bed was always made and his prison dress worn exactly as it was supposed to be worn.
The pressures to conform which had eaten away at him on the outside were making him stronger now that he was confined. Most of the time Matthew was in his cell, for his own safety the warden had said, but that suited him fine. This morning he had spent an hour with his lawyer, another hour with his psychologist, but finally he was able to lie back on his bunk and read the LA Times. He wasn't always able to have one, it was a privilege, but his shrink had brought it with her and then left it on the table.
Not knowing when he would get another paper with all the supplements Matthew planned to ration it out. Today he would read the current news, may as well know what was happening as it happened, the rest would then last him two or three days if he was lucky.
Normally Matthew didn't read the political news, nor the financial, but when he was alone as much as he was now; every article interested him and relieved the boredom, which was why one small side section, that he might otherwise have missed, caught his eye.
Injured policewoman returns home
Doctors at Community GeneralHospital announced yesterday that they had released Detective Sergeant Reagan Yeager from their care. The British detective, who was seriously injured after falling from a third floor fire escape, returned to her Beverly Hills home after seven months of treatment, although it is understood that she will return as an outpatient. In a statement read by the hospital, her husband, Doctor Jesse Travis, said that although she had been delighted by all the good wishes she had received they would ask for some privacy as they began to rebuild their lives.
Red Rose Killer, Nicholas Large, believed to be responsible for the attack on Detective Yeager, will face trial in the next month.
The next month, that soon? He had known the case against him was almost complete. He didn't think he would be found insane, although there had certainly been moments when the urge to kill had overridden every other feeling in his body, had shut out even the sun, and nothing else had mattered but finding and killing his next victim. Matthew guessed if that made him insane then he would spend the rest of his life in a mental institution, or the rest of his life until they deemed it safe to release him back into the community.
Matthew knew if he was released he would kill again, he still felt the urge, still knew that blood lust, and so, he reasoned, being found guilty would be his best bet. He could stay here; wait until all his appeals were over, which could take years, keep himself out of harms way. Yes, that would be the best result for everyone.
ooo
Rae ran the comb through her hair and then carefully clipped it back. It was a skill that had taken her a long time to relearn, but now she could do it without looking like she had been dragged through a hedge. She liked having her hair long and had resisted loudly when it had been suggested it would be easier for her to return to her previous short style.
Resting on the bed behind her was her new leg. The first one, which had been fitted at the hospital, had been uncomfortable, it had also rubbed a little, and so Texas, forever her generous and gracious friend, had ordered the latest hi-tech version on the market. She had been measured at home for the new limb, had her skin tones photographed and described, and it had been in her possession for just over a week. It fitted like a glove, had, so far, caused no more discomfort than was to be expected as she put her full weight onto it, and delighted her totally.
Today was its big outing though. Nicholas Large was on trial and, to her horror, she had been called to give evidence. The guilty plea had led her to believe she would be just a face in the crowd as justice was served, but the lawyer who had been retained for Large was adamant that, although his client had pleaded guilty to the murder charges, the proof wasn't there in her case and he should be acquitted.
"Hey, how you doing?" Jesse's voice interrupted her thoughts and she turned towards him with a smile. He looked so handsome in his suit, his hair neat, well neat for him, and a little longer just as she liked it.
"I ok." Her words still came out very slowly and they had resigned themselves to the fact that, for the rest of her life, she would speak that way. Rae was continuing speech therapy and her actual pronunciation was much better than it had been. The words that left her brain now sounded the same when they left her mouth. There weren't as many of them, some seemingly getting lost on the journey, but those she did say sounded like they should.
"Do you need a hand?" Jesse could see her crutches by the dressing table and picked them up. Until she had her leg attached she was reliant either on them or a wheelchair to get around. She hated the crutches though, they caused pain in her shoulders and arms, she felt vulnerable when she used them, and was scared of falling over.
"Yes please." The two words, not usually used when Rae was offered help surprised Jesse and he realised how nervous she was.
"Come on then, hopalong, let's get you ready." He was rewarded by his wife sticking her tongue out at him, and then carefully he placed an arm around her and, as she used one of her crutches, he guided her across the room.
ooo
The courtroom was packed. Split into three sections each one was full to bursting. Steve, picking up the 'reserved' notice from his own seat sat down and looked around. As far as he was aware most interest in the proceedings on this Tuesday was focused on his ex-partner and the testimony she was going to give.
Steve knew that the defence was hoping for a guilty but insane verdict, which meant that Nicholas Large would be sent to a secure treatment facility. Trying to kill a cop would harm his case, and so they were attempting to prove that it hadn't been him who had done the pushing, that he had arrived afterwards and been arrested falsely. The fact that he had actually confessed to the crime in Cheryl's presence was being treated as an admission under duress, and so Rae and probably Cheryl would both have to testify in this part of the trial. His own testimony had promised to cause a stir, but his recollections, almost destroyed by the breakdown he had suffered and the walls his brain had erected to hide painful memories, had been incomplete and of no real use to either side.
Although Steve didn't dress in his full uniform very often, he had made an exception today and sat, thankfully in an air conditioned courtroom, looking very smart. The straightness of his back, his piercing blue eyes, the sweep of his hair, added to the officiality of his Captain's uniform and the cap he held in his lap made him more visible than those around him. The visibility though was all for Rae's benefit. If she could see him then she would also be able to see Jesse and Alex who would be there to support her as well.
Steve looked around, he realised that he knew some of the members of the press who were gathered directly behind the defendant's table personally, especially Rachael Collins, Tanisha's sister. Tanisha had been one of the first victims, killed in San Francisco; Nicholas Large would be extradited after his trial in LA to face charges there too, each police department and District Attorney wanting justice and closure for their own victims and the victims' families.
Directly to his right were the relatives of some of the LA victims. The parents of Jenna, the young woman whose killing he and Rae had picked up all those months and years ago to start this whole thing, Nadine's parents, who he had met when she had been working at Bob's. They had all come in on her night off so that her mom and dad could taste the best barbeque in LA. Nice people, devastated by their loss. There would be no one there for Sam Morrison; her mother had committed suicide the day after her daughter's murder, unable to face life without her. So many victims, but each of them had been just the one person in a far larger group of people who had been left to grieve, to ask why, to wonder whether justice would ever be served. Now, today, and over the past few weeks, as well as those to come, hopefully that justice would be done, and they could begin to find a life they could cope with when a focal point of that life was always going to be missing.
He stood up to let Jesse and Alex move into the row of seats and sit down. They had decided between them that he would be seen easiest if he sat at the end, and so Rae knew to find her partner and then her husband and doctor would be right next to him. Steve could see that Jesse was a little nervous but determined. He knew his partner and best friend's wife was scared, not of what had to be done, but of being seen to be any less of a person because of what had happened to her.
Alex, who, it seemed, had found the past two months or so more difficult than anyone, was finally accepting that his treatment and initial assessments hadn't been at fault and no one had been let down by him, least of all Rae, when her leg had had to be removed. The young man, conscientious and open, had spent long hours with both Jesse and Rae, talking, listening and gradually believing that they would be forever grateful for what he had done, which had been to save Rae's life.
The previous witness, a psychologist, called out of turn because of other commitments, had left the stand a little over five minutes earlier and now the lawyer, Kenneth Lawson, stood up and began to speak.
"The defence calls Detective Sergeant Reagan Yeager to the stand." There was a hum in the courtroom and Jesse felt his heart begin to beat faster. Rae had been very nervous in the small anteroom that she waited in, and he wanted nothing more than to be able to take her away and keep her safe.
Although she didn't know it, that was what he planned to do once her day in court was over. While investigating the possibility of a vacation for Sally he had found a beautiful hotel overlooking the ocean roughly thirty miles south of LA. He had booked a suite for four days, just the two of them, and their bags were already packed and in the trunk of Rae's PC Cruiser, although they wouldn't actually be leaving until the morning. Jesse was expecting Rae to need a good night's sleep in her own bed after her ordeal which was about to begin.
While he had been thinking his wife had made her way into the courtroom, slowly, walking unaided towards the witness box, where she waited to be sworn in, her eyes sweeping the room until they rested on Steve, then Jesse and Alex and just the hint of a smile was seen.
"Detective Yeager, could you tell us what you are doing for a living at the moment?" Mr Lawson was obviously going to go for the jugular right from the start. His tone, his stance, everything about him was confrontational and Rae felt herself take a mental step backwards.
"I … profile." While she had been in the hospital Ron had begun to show her how he would go about compiling a profile on a criminal, using the victim's details as well as the crime scene and forensic analysis to paint his verbal picture. In the six weeks since she had been home Rae had worked non-stop to hone her skills, and was due to attend a course at Quantico in a month's time. Steve had already asked for her help on a case Wilshire were struggling with, and she had used Nicholas Large's case to work backwards, picking out the important components and then trying to see if she would have used them in the correct way to profile the man who had tried to end her life. She knew she still had a great deal to learn but she was more than anxious to do so.
"I see, so it would be incorrect of me to address you as Detective then?"
"Objection, I can see no point to this line of questioning." The Assistant District Attorney, Julia Delgardo, leapt to her feet.
"I am merely trying to ascertain what job the witness holds at present."
"I will allow it, but unless you see this witness as hostile, Mr. Lawson, I would moderate your tone." The judge, an imposing figure, who was clearly in charge in his courtroom, was known to some as the killer judge. Judge Piller had gained the nickname, as well as 'Piller the killer', after handing down the death sentence in three of his four first cases on the bench.
Mr Lawson just nodded his head and then turned back to Rae. "What should I call you, Detective, Mrs. Yeager, what?"
Rae wanted to glare at him, he was making her say things that were unnecessary, he would know that she was no longer Mrs. Yeager, but now she had to tell him herself.
"You call me Mrs. Travis … is my name."
"Very well, Mrs. Travis, I would like to go over with you the events of Friday 13th July last year."
"Yes." The lawyer waited, as if expecting Rae to say something more, but in the end realised that the one word was all he was going to get.
"In your own words, would you please tell me how you arrived in my client's apartment that day?"
This time she nodded, then looked over to where her little support group were sitting. She was delighted to see that Mark had joined them; he had been called into the hospital and so hadn't been sure if he would get away in time.
"I … I home. Day off. Jesse read book … Albert's book."
"I see, and maybe you would tell the members of the jury who Jesse is and also Albert."
"Jesse my husband … Albert killed … he help me with … lots of reading."
Kenneth Lawson held up a journal. "This is the book you are talking about? Which, your honour we would like to enter as exhibit 1a, you had it at home and your husband was reading it?"
"Yes … I work day off … Jesse help me. He … he find name." Now she was talking Rae didn't feel nervous any more. Jesse had always helped Steve with his cases, if this man didn't like it then it was tough, all she had to do was tell the truth and they could go home.
"And what name did you find, Mrs. Travis? Or should I say your husband, not a member of our police force, but a doctor, I believe, what name did he find?"
She felt herself blush, not something that happened very often, and she was angry at that and the way this man was treating her husband.
"He find … he find Matthew Little. I take book … call Ste … Captain Sloan."
"I see, and Captain Sloan, who is a member of our police force, did what, operate on someone?"
"Objection!"
"Sustained. Mr. Lawson, you will refrain from making personal comments."
Julia sat down again her fury visible to all around her.
"We … find judge … then go apartment. There no one home." She was almost back there in the hallway, Steve one side of the door, counting down, she the other waiting, ready to cover him, to do whatever was necessary to close the case, although at the time they hadn't known just how vital the information behind the door was.
"Mrs. Travis?" The voice was that of the judge, and Rae realised that she must have lapsed into silence.
"I … sorry. We go in … search … secure … Steve … Captain Sloan find … things."
"We need more detail than that, Mrs. Travis." Mr Lawson's voice, although less confrontational than before was still anything but friendly.
"There …" This time she stopped to consider, the apartment wasn't something she had tried to think about over the time in the hospital but now she needed to see its layout.
"There three bedrooms … one messy, one tidy and one … one full of things."
"I see." Kenneth Lawson didn't really want to go into too much detail about what was in the room, but he knew that to get his client off the hook of attempting to kill a police officer he would have to probe just a little.
"These things, were they what you would expect to find?"
Rae shook her head, "No, we … we find pictures … of dead girls … clothes … we find … I find …" She looked up for a moment and everyone in the room could see that the memory was causing her distress. "There was hair … long hair … I … it made … I sick … I have get out … it bad." There were tears on her cheeks now, tears which she made no effort to brush away knowing that she would most likely miss and have to try again.
"Mrs. Travis, would you like to pause for a moment?" It was the judge who spoke, and Rae looked at him gratefully, pulling her gaze from where it had rested on Nicholas Large. She had purposely ignored him from the time she had entered the room, but asher words had taken hercloser and closer to the awful things she had found Rae had realised that she was unable to stop from looking at him, wanting to see a reaction, any reaction at all, from the man she was here to try and help convict.
"I … I have drink? Please?" The bailiff came across to her with a glass in his hand, there was clear cold looking water in it and he held it out to her.
"You … you hold, I drop." Carefully she took two sips of the water, enjoying the feel as it made its way down her throat, and then she smiled. "Thank you. I fine now."
"Please continue then, and tell us what it was that happened when you felt sick." It was the judge who spoke again and she smiled at him as well before nodding.
"I … I know girls hair cut off. I hold hair. I run … I need door open … it stuck, I … I want sick …"
Her breath was coming faster now, and Jesse and Alex watching from the second row of seats both began to worry.
"I get outside … he … I pushed … I … f … fall and am … am hold … bars …" Rae made vertical movements with her hands, as if that would explain to everyone just what it was she had grasped hold of, trying to save her own life.
"So you didn't fall over the balcony when you were pushed?" Mr. Lawson moved closer to the witness box, obviously hoping that he could increase his advantage.
"No … I hold … I told I lucky … I hold on."
"I see, and then what happened, Mrs. Travis?"
Rae looked down; she saw the slight line across her pants where her prosthetic limb ended and her real leg began, she heard the words in her head, telling her how to answer all of the questions with full and comprehensive answers, and then she looked up again, knowing where the line of questioning was going, and spoke softly.
"I not know."
"I see, you don't know what happened after you grabbed hold of the rail, do you know how you got into the position that you found yourself?" The tone was back, sarcastic, unpleasant, gloating.
"Yes … I pushed. I tell that now." She was finding each question more difficult than the last, all she wanted to do was close her eyes and let the world carry on without her, or maybe ask for a pause, say that she needed to rest for a while, but she did neither of those things, instead she just stared back at the man who was ready to pounce and waited for the next question.
"I see, you were pushed, and who pushed you, Mrs. Travis, do you know that, did you see who it was?"
This time she hesitated, but knew that there was no way to avoid answering, and so slowly raising her head she swallowed hard and then spoke.
"No, I not see."