By: Junsui Kegasu
A/N: Omigosh, you have no idea how much I wanted to completely neglect Haunted and do this chapter. But, now that I've updated that, here's this! I've wanted to do it for so long…By the way, I'm thinking of changing my penname to Procrastinating Fairy because AIM didn't like it. What do you guys think?
Disclaimer: I swear, one day, I'm gonna stop putting these things up…
Kankurou paused in his story to glance at Neji, wiping away tears that he didn't remember shedding. Their family had been so happy back then…it was painful. Not in a bad way, but in a reminiscing way.
Neji looked at him, a few tears streaming down his face, too. "I…is there more?" he asked softly, hoping not to offend the older teen.
Kankurou wiped his eyes once more, then sniffled and nodded. "Yeah…yeah, there's more…"
Gaara's first three years were great. I mean, as siblings, we all got along rather well. Dad was great and Mom was there for anything that was anything. I'll never blame Gaara for…the incident. Ever. I know Temari doesn't either, and Dad…well…
"Kasuka-chan," Sabaku Kazekage started at breakfast one morning. "I have a day off today. What do you say we do something with the kids?"
Kasuka looked up from where she was attempting to keep Gaara semi-clean while eating pancakes. This attempt was generally futile, since the three year old had already managed to get it all over his tiny hands, his face, and in his hair.
Considering the idea, she idly took the plate that Gaara had started licking, thus dumping more sticky syrup in his brilliantly colored hair and nodded. "That sounds nice. It'd be a rather pleasant change." Turning to her children, and ignoring Gaara's squawks for his sugary-sweetness to be returned to him, she announced the idea.
"That sounds great!" Temari answered at once, taking another bite of her pancakes.
Kankurou merely nodded, his cheeks stuffed to the maximum capacity with pancakes. Kasuka frowned gently, but the smile never left her eyes.
"Kanky-chan, you're going to choke. Don't take so much food."
"…" The five year old proceeded to spit some out on his plate.
"EW! KANKY, GROSS!" Temari exclaimed, playfully whapping the younger boy over the head. Kankurou flashed a sheepish smile.
Kazekage frowned playfully. "I hope you don't act like that when we go out for food later, or you're not going anywhere."
Gaara giggled as Kankurou furiously explained he wouldn't do it in public, only at home, his longing for the syrup temporarily forgotten.
…Then he spied the whole bottle, right within grasp of his tiny arms. It beckoned to him, so while everyone else was busy, he took it, and holding it like a bottle, started to suck the contents down.
The bottle wasn't one of those squeeze ones with the safe cap. It was one of the poor-on bottles.
Result? Messier, stickier Gaara, no more syrup, and a very giggly family.
"I think we're to take a bath before we go anywhere." Kasuka said, rolling her eyes. She grabbed a washcloth she had already wetted and tried to wipe some of the syrup away from the toddlers face and hands. Gaara struggled, the cloth was cold, but Kasuka managed to clean him to the point where she could scoop him up from his high chair and take him to the bathroom.
We were all so innocent back then. It's so hard to believe that back then, Gaara would talk back to Dad. It wasn't really in offense or even defense, it mostly just playful banter like most everything else seemed to be at the time. I miss the innocent days, to tell you the truth. That day passed by very quickly, and before we knew it, we had seen a movie, went out for lunch, and were at the playground.
"Mama, sand!" Gaara chirped, pointing to the sandbox from his place at her side with the hand that had previously been in his mouth. (Do note he talks with an extremely strong lisp. I'm just not typing it.)
Kasuka nodded, leading him to the boxed-off area of finer, less rocky sand and then going over to the bench where Kazekage sat, keeping half an eye on the toddler.
Kankurou immediately dashed for the swings; he always loved them. Temari went for the slide, climbing up the steps and going down, then repeating the process multiple times.
Now that I look back at it, we were at that park for quite a long time, generally uneventfully. I mean, we were having fun, and no one really noticed that it was the longest we had been there. It must've been three hours or so before anything really started happening. Gaara had even managed to keep himself injury-free.
"Kazekage-sama!" A voice came from the distance. Kankurou frowned from where he was playing with his brother in the sand. With his help, Gaara had constructed a sandcastle nearly as tall as the three-year old's two feet and eight inches. Gaara was currently running in circles around the castle, falling every so often, but not getting hurt in the soft sand.
Kankurou hated hearing the words 'Kazekage-sama!' when they were having family time. It usually meant his father was getting called into work.
"Kazekage-sama!" The voice came again. His father turned his head from where it looked like he was having a serious conversation with Kasuka to show the man he had his attention.
I found out later they were considering a fourth child.
Kankurou watched warily as this man and his father had a conversation, and when he nodded, Kankurou felt his heart sink. He had accepted a call into work…
Digging little holes in the soft sand, Gaara came up to him, big, sea-foam-green eyes shining in worry.
"Nii-chan? Daijoubu?" he chirped softly, on all fours in the sand, which had gotten everywhere, clinging to the red hair and his clothing. It was caked on his tiny palms and bony, bare knees.
Kankurou forced himself to smile. "It's nothing, Gaara-chan." He said quietly, almost sadly.
"Nuh-uh! What's wrong?" The toddler persisted, sitting cross-legged with his tiny arms crossed over his chest.
Kankurou blinked. Gaara never questioned his responses. He sighed. "Daddy's gonna go to work on us…" he said sadly, near pouting. Gaara blinked, then stood up to crane his neck and see. Seeing the man talking to his father, Gaara scowled, pouted, and then ran out of the sandbox, tripping every so often.
Kankurou stared. Was Gaara doing what he thought the toddler was doing?
It amazes me how brave my brother used to be. Now, he's shyer than a mouse, and no nerve to do anything 'bad'. Blame my father for that.
"HEY, MISTER!" The three year old screeched upon getting perhaps a yard away from the man talking to his precious Daddy. Kazekage and Kasuka turned to stare at him. Gaara was, when with his family, rather outgoing, but face him with any stranger and he became the Mama's baby, clinging to Kasuka like his life depended on it.
"This is supposed to be a family day, so you gotta leave now, OKAY?" (There is very much increase in volume when he says "okay". I know a three year old who does that, and oh my god, it is so damn cute.) (Vis is s'posed ta be a fam-wee day, so you gotta weeb now, OTAY? – God, I couldn't help myself! I had to type out the lisp!)
Kasuka and Kazekage exchanged glances, and then started laughing. Confused, Gaara sat down on the ground and started crying. Kasuka ran over and scooped him up, still laughing.
"Oh, don't cry, Gaara-chan! Daddy's not going anywhere! The nice man wants to take a family picture of all of us together, to show that even though Daddy goes to work a lot, he still loves his family. Now, would you please apologize to the nice camera man?"
Gaara stared at the man, and then buried his face into Kasuka's chest, making a whiney noise that signified he wasn't ever speaking to the cameraman ever again. She flashed him a sheepish grin. "Sorry, he doesn't particularly like strangers."
"Oh, no, it's okay. I'm guessing he didn't like me much anyways." the man laughed, adjusting the camera around his neck. Leaning down, he spoke to Gaara this time. "I'm not going to bite your foot off, little one. I just plan on taking a picture."
Gaara made another noise and clung tighter to his mother, bringing his foot up to try to hide it. Kasuka rocked him, then whispered reassuring words to the toddler. Eventually, Gaara let go enough so she could set him on the ground, telling him to go get his siblings.
"Cute little thing." The cameraman remarked.
Kazekage nodded. "Yeah, that's Gaara. Cute as a button but watch out, he will bite."
Kasuka frowned. "I thought we were done with the biting problem!"
"Oh, we are. Mostly." Kazekage said, and then changed the subject. "So, would you like us to pose in any certain manner, do you want it to look natural, or…" He trailed off, leaving his statement open for suggestion.
"Uh, well, I really wanted it to look natural, but with kids that young, and your 2 year old already knowing about it, it's really hard to do, so I was thinking a pose in front of the tube slide would be good."
"…He's three." Kasuka said defensively. For one reason or another, the woman always defended Gaara's age, mostly because he did look like he was only 2.
"Well, then that's a small three year old, excuse me," the cameraman said matter-of-factly.
"Mama, Gaara said that there was a man who was gonna eat us! What's going on here?" Temari said, walking up holding Gaara, who was now clinging to her and nearly glaring at the cameraman.
Sweatdropping, Kasuka took Gaara away from the cameraman, trying to assure him he wouldn't be eaten.
"And where's your brother?" she concluded, asking Gaara.
"Nii-chan's bein' smart and not gettin' eated!" Gaara proclaimed.
"He's not going to eat you!" Kasuka cried for what seemed like the umpteenth time.
Kazekage led them all over to just in front of the slide, smiling and putting his hand on Temari's shoulder.
"Kankurou!" he called out in the direction of the sandbox. "Kankurou, he's not going to eat you!"
The miserable brunette appeared, still pouting. "No, he's gonna make you go to work though, isn't he?" he said, sulkily.
Kazekage frowned. "I think we have a lot of misconceptions here. Gaara, this man is not going to eat you. At all. He eats things we eat. Kankurou, he's not taking me to work. I ordered no calls in today and sent my secretary to do everything. This man is going to take our picture for the newspaper, okay?" he said sternly, showing that he was in no way or form joking.
Gaara frowned, then considered his father's words. After a while, he nodded. "Otay…" Obviously still wary, he clung to Kasuka like his life depended on it. Kankurou stepped into where they were posing and grabbed one of Gaara's little hands, smiling up at his brother in reassurance.
Somewhat reassured, Gaara didn't cling so tightly and even smiled for the camera.
I think I still have a copy of the newspaper. It was the front page; "Kazekage not too Busy for Family!" and the article was about how many people thought that he was neglecting us. At the time, he wasn't. It also included how protective over our father we were, and they interviewed Gaara. Maybe I'll show you sometime. Everything was perfect, nothing out of place, at least, not for another hour or so. Like I said, we were at that playground for quite a long time that day. I still don't know why, but we were having fun, and I guess that's all that matters.
Some time after the cameraman left, Kankurou found himself on the swings. Gaara had been with him for a little bit, until he fell off the swing and scraped his knee, but he was okay now, although, not with Kankurou. Temari had wormed her way into the sandbox and was adding onto the grand masterpiece that was he and Gaara's sandcastle.
The swings had always calmed him with their lulling motion. Mama had said that as a baby, all she'd need to do was clunk him in a swing, and he'd be fine for a nap. Now, he didn't fall asleep in swings, but they did calm him, and made his leg muscles get stronger when he pumped his legs. That's what Daddy always said, anyways.
His airy musings were pierced when a scream shot through the air. Starting, he twisted his head into the direction of the noise: his mother.
I'll never forget that scream as long as I live. I don't think any of us will, even Dad.
"M-mama?" he cried out, launching himself from the swing and landing (painfully) on his feet.
Kasuka was making a mad dash for the street. Kankurou didn't think he had ever seen his mother run so fast in his entire five years. Following her direction, he noticed Gaara.
In the middle of the street.
With an oncoming truck.
And, of course, because he was three, he didn't see it or hear it. He was too busy trying to get the ball that had rolled out in the middle. The trucker couldn't see him; the truck was very tall, and Gaara wasn't even three feet.
"GAARA, GET AWAY FROM THE STREET!" he heard his mother cry frantically. When her toddler failed to listen, still, she leapt at him, shoving him out of the way just in time.
Just in time for him anyways…
Once the truck had felt he had hit something, and had probably seen Gaara's fearful expression from his window, he must've realized what had happened and pulled over immediately, jumping out with the car still running.
Kazekage had made his way over, fear evident on his face even as the tears streaked down it. Kankurou and Temari followed, close behind, utterly mortified for the sight they knew would await them.
Let's just say that…you never want to see someone you love get hit by a car like that. The car didn't exactly hit her; it kind of just…ran over her. To the point where she was rather squished down in the middle, and I really hate to remember it, so sorry, Neji, but you're not getting a graphic description on that part. Anyways, of course, we called 911, because some part of us still hoped we could save her. Dad didn't dare to check her pulse. It was like he was in denial.
Sitting in the waiting room, the tension in the room was thick. Tears still silently streaked down Kazekage's face and Kankurou and Temari sobbed freely into their hands or each other.
That sitting in the waiting room is by far the most awkward, sorrowful thing I've ever done in my entire life, and I know the same applies for Temari. Speaking of, did she get lost or something?
As if on cue, a door opened and Temari peaked her head in, apologizing sheepishly for taking so long.
"I got lost…your house is rather con-"
It was then the blonde noticed the scene. Kankurou was crying, which was a rarity within itself, Gaara was asleep, which was like treason, and even Neji was crying. Something happened.
"He knows." Kankurou said curtly, wiping his eyes again. "Gaara cracked."
Temari sunk to her knees, staring open-mouthed at Neji. "Oh, god…Neji…Neji please don't tell," she whispered. "It'll only get worse…"
"I won't…I promised Gaara…I want to, though. I really do." Neji said honestly.
"I'm explaining," Kankurou said, his gaze on Temari. "Explaining everything."
Temari looked fearful. "E-everything?"
"Everything." He repeated, slower. "From…Gaara's birth…to now. I'm at 'the incident.'" He tried to keep his voice from cracking, but it was useless.
Temari adjusted her position. "Then…I guess you should continue," she whispered, trying to be mindful of the sleeping redhead beside her.
Kankurou nodded, rather shakily, and took a deep breath. Neji instantly felt bad for wanting to know this. He could tell how much it pained the older teen to tell this, but he also knew that he wouldn't stop now. The least he could do was give Kankurou his entire attention.
Anyways, wh-where was I? Oh, the waiting room…yeah…it seemed like hours before the nurse came back with Gaara. The poor little thing was spooked. I don't think he ever got the comfort he really needed…
"Sabaku Kazekage?" the nurse said in the doorway. From behind her emerged Gaara with a bandage wrapped around his head.
The fact he was wounded wasn't terrifying at all; Gaara got hurt all the time. Not this bad, but it didn't scare Temari or Kankurou. What really scared them was the three-year-old's eyes, large, and still fear-filled. He was scarred for life, and they knew it.
Kazekage stood up, fearing the response he knew he'd get.
"While…While your son sustained minor injuries from being shoved out of the way, we regret to inform you…that your wife was killed on impact and there's nothing we can do to save her." She said grimly, avoiding the man's expression.
It sounds like a soap opera, I know, but that's exactly how it happened. Something clicked in Dad's eyes then. Something…I don't know. Hatred, maybe, anger, most likely, and utter disgust, most definitely, but whatever it was, it started off an entire string of events that has yet to end. Chances are, it still has four years ahead of it.
"I…I see…" Kazekage forced, swallowing hard. Upon hearing these words, Kankurou and Temari had already burst into a fresh set of tears. Seeing their anguish, Gaara couldn't help to join in.
'It's…it's my fault…I…I killed her…I killed Mama…' he thought while sobbing.
The nurse, pitying the small three year old, scooped him up gently, cradling him and trying to assure him that it'd all be okay, and that it most definitely wasn't his fault.
God, I have no idea how many times I've wished that Gaara would remember that nurse's words instead of what Dad has literally pounded into him…
After a while, Kazekage mechanically took his son from the kind-hearted woman, silently leading his three grief-stricken children out to his car.
His movements were cold and robotic as he buckled Gaara into his car seat, and for once, the tiny redhead didn't fuss over the possibility of getting pinched.
Fate, of course, being so cruel to this family, had to choose that moment to allow him for the first time to actually get pinched when his father buckled him into the seat. He let out a small yelp, starting from the sudden jolt up his nerves.
"Shut up!" his father said harshly, slamming the door shut and getting into the drivers' seat. Temari and Kankurou exchanged nervous glances. Daddy never acted like this before.
We should've known that nothing would ever be right again. We should've known, but we didn't. Not until a week after the accident.
Temari winced and covered her ears when the yelling from downstairs began again. She didn't know what Gaara had done this time, but it seemed that after Mama died, there was a lot more yelling and a lot more cans of the stuff she, Kankurou, and Gaara weren't allowed to drink.
Oh, they were still mourning. Just in their separate ways. Gaara had taken to being nearly silent, that haunted look never leaving his once smiling face. He cried a lot more often, now, and suddenly had a loss of appetite.
Kankurou had mellowed down immensely instead of playing with his toys like he used to. He spent long hours in his room alone, and Temari had no clue what he did in here.
I contemplated life. Why it had to be so cruel to us, and why Dad always yelled. It seemed that Gaara was always doing something wrong in some shape or form, and it didn't seem right, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Not until…'it' began.
Temari had suddenly been faced with being the only female in the house, and decided that as such, she would have to grow up and start acting like a mother, too. Although she couldn't cook or do a lot of the cleaning, her height restricting her, she often comforted her baby brother when he started crying, holding him and rocking him like her mother used to do.
That day was a rather regular one, as far as regular had gotten in our house in that week. Temari and I were upstairs doing our own little thing, Gaara was downstairs being his silent self, usually watching the television or sitting in a dark little corner, often crying, or doing something to make Dad mad. God, I don't even remember what half of it was. Leaving the television on…forgetting to put away toys…it seemed he was always mad at him. And it wasn't right. I should've known.
Kankurou suddenly left his room, a funny look on his face.
"Kanky? Kanky, what are you doing?" she asked softly, surprised at his sudden change in behavior.
"Shh. Listen. I wanna know what he's saying to him. I don't think what he's doing is right, Temari." He said, as serious as he had ever been in his five years.
They listened, straining their ears a little, although, it didn't matter; the screams were rather loud. They must've scared Gaara; he hated it when people screamed.
He still does.
"YOU LITTLE SHIT! I TOLD YOU TO TURN THE DAMN THING OFF!"
Kankurou and Temari gasped. Daddy never swore. Ever. It was unheard of.
We should've known that to be a bad omen too, the swearing. Looking back on it, he was drunk.
Kazekage continued to yell at the toddler, telling him he was a worthless piece of shit and didn't deserve to live.
"AND FURTHERMORE, YOU'RE A MURDERER!" The harsh word was followed by a loud, sharp slap.
Temari put a hand over her mouth to stifle the scream. Kankurou felt an aura of rage surround him and sprinted downstairs, not prepared for the sight in front of him.
I thought that was too far. A slap. Nowadays, Gaara's lucky if he gets away with something twice as bad as that. And I mean real lucky.
When he got there, Gaara was bawling. His father stood over the three-year-old, his hand still raised like he'd hit him again. He gave the man an even glare, walking over to stand in front of his crying brother.
"Go away, Kankurou. You did nothing wrong." Kazekage said slowly, dangerously.
That voice gave me nightmares for a week. I'm able to be unaffected by it, but Gaara has yet to learn that. It's his manipulative voice.
Kankurou gulped, then shook his head. "I-I'm not gonna let you h-hit him again." He stammered nervously. This was the first time he had ever stood up to an adult.
"He deserves to be hit, Kankurou." The calm yet dangerous voice was slurred. Kankurou could smell the alcohol on his father's breath.
"No…Dad…Dad, it wasn't his fault! It c-couldn't have been his fault!"
That's what Uncle Yashamaru had told him.
That's what the nurse said, too.
It wasn't his fault.
"Kankurou, get the fuck out of the way!" he yelled, shoving him away. When Kankurou tried to come back, he screamed louder. "GO! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
Terrified, Kankurou bolted up the stairs tears streaking down his face. Temari enveloped him in a hug. Crying into her chest, they both tried to block out the noise of the blows and Gaara's cries and pleas for him to stop.
It scared us. More than anything we'd ever seen or heard before.
Sometime later, Kankurou heard light footfalls on the stairs and determined because of their slow speed and clumsiness, that it was Gaara. He nearly flew down the stairs and scooped up the three year old, which wasn't hard because of his size.
He waited until all three of them were together in Temari's room, Gaara him his arms, before really checking him over.
It wasn't as bad as it could've been, but seeing your three year old brother bruised, bleeding, and crying and knowing it was your father's fault is a rather scary experience in itself.
"Gaara-chan, I'm so sorry…I should've stopped him!" Kankurou exclaimed softly. Gaara's tears were still flowing and his heart was beating rapidly in his tiny chest.
He was terrified.
"N-no….I…I deserved it….I killed Mama…" he protested distantly.
"Gaara, don't believe him! You didn't kill Mama; Mama saved you 'cause she wanted to! Remember what Uncle Yasha said?" Kankurou was horrified his baby brother had actually believe those words.
"B-but Daddy said-"
"What Daddy said doesn't matter anymore," Temari said shortly, wrapping an arm around both her little brothers. "We learned 'bout this in school, remember Kanky? It's called child abuse, and we're s'posed to report it." she said matter-of-factly.
Gaara looked, if possible, more horrified than before.
"NO NO! Tem-chan! Please, no! Y-you can't tell, he said he'd do it again and it'd be so much worse if I told and and and-"
"Shh…Gaara, it's okay." Kankurou interrupted his rant, rocking slowly. "Temari…I don't think we can tell anyone about this…" he said slowly.
Temari swears I was a genius back then just for considering all of this. I don't know where it came from myself, but it is true.
"And why not?" the older girl protested, sounding rather miffed about being denied of what she thought was right.
"Daddy's the leader of the village, right?"
"…Yeah…" Temari still didn't see what he was getting at.
"So, he makes all the rules, right?"
"…Uh-huh…"
"If we were to tell anyone, do you really think they'd believe a five, six, and three year old about their precious "Kazekage-sama" hurting his child?"
"…No…" Temari said miserably, hugging Gaara gently. "It won't happen again…right?" she asked the three-year-old softly.
Gaara merely shrugged. It seemed that the happy toddler he had once been was a thing of the past, and this was their present.
And it all just got worse until it's at the point where it's everyday mostly, at least twice a day. I know it's severe. I know it needs to be stopped. But they believe us even less now. See, we tried to stop it, they just told Dad and he hurt us that time. I'm glad he didn't take it out on Gaara, but I wish our plan would've worked. As for the damn demon? He's supposed to be protecting Gaara from all this shit and he doesn't. He kept his thing up for Gaara sleeping for the first five years, but then there's this…sand shield type thing that's supposed to protect him from anything dangerous. I guess it got petty and didn't want to use it when he was allowing his host to sleep. It listens to Dad, though. It thinks it owes Dad a debt for giving him a humanoid host.
Kankurou sighed, avoiding Neji's eyes.
"And that's it. That's how we came to be."
And viva la chapter! God, this is a tearjerker. Very much so. I should put a tearjerker warning in the summary…