Shadow: Sorry about the extremely long wait.
Beast Boy: Don't believe her lies!
Shadow: You're insane if you believe I'd rather do homework than type fanfics.
Cyborg: Some people enjoy homework.
Shadow: Do you?
Cyborg: As if!
Shadow: Anyways, my chapter is also longer. Do yourself a favor and don't get used to it. I only made it long so in my next chapter we could watch Raven suffer- I mean "compete" in a beauty pageant. No time for review replies today but I'll reply to them in my next chapter. Hey, BB, your turn for the D&D.
Beast Boy: Shadow does not own Teen Titans and is very unhappy about it. She doesn't own Seventeen or Cosmo-girl!- if she owned Cosmo-girl! she'd kill herself.
Cyborg: whispers Someone, give her ownership of Cosmo-girl! please.
Shadow: Give me 500.
Cyborg: I don't have 500 bucks.
Shadow: I meant push-ups. And it's 500 since you have super strength.
Cyborg: I don't have to-
Shadow: Then I'll take 1,000. Do it or you lose your car according to Section 13 of our contract. I saw that movie Coach Carter last week, so inspirational. Now get going. 1! 2! (Counts as Cyborg does push-ups)
Beast Boy: This chapter is dedicated to xxx.angelicdevil.xxx, Happy Sun, Sade of Evermore, and Overactive Mind for guessing Nobelium. And honorable mentions to NickG for guessing Einsteinium.
Shadow: 6! (stops counting for a second) It was a good guess.
Miss Teen Jump City Beauty Pageant
Chapter 5: Stupid Smart-alec Questions
MALL OF SHOPPING/DOOM
"I'm not in the mood for a joke, Beast Boy," Raven responded.
"You never are," Beast Boy replied, "Now answer: what element won the Nobel Prize?"
"Don't know, don't care," Raven told him in that special way she can that tells you: if you want to live (or at least in this dimension) you had better shut up. It wasn't that she was trying to be mean, she was just nervous because it was obvious that when he said there was something he needed to tell her, he hadn't been referring to a(nother) lame joke of his- and she was confused why she was nervous about being alone with Beast Boy.
"Err, Nobelium did," Beast Boy said quickly. He was getting the message that now was definitely not the time to annoy Raven with a lame joke. "Look, Raven," he said, sitting next to her on the bench, "I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings about the whole blackmail thingy."
"It doesn't matter," Raven replied as if she hadn't been exploding at him since that comment.
"Yes, it does. You've been more mea- I mean, you've been more temperamental since I said that 'I don't want the world thinking I kissed Raven'."
"I was over-reacting."
Beast Boy paused for a second and decided to risk it. "Why did you get so mad when I said that? It seemed like you were about to say the same thing anyways." He was hoping she would say it was because she had a crush on him- then he could admit having a crush on her and they could go to the dance together. He knew that was very unlikely.
"We really should get going." Raven stood up and started walking to the electronics store with the supposed battery sale.
"You didn't answer the question," Beast Boy said. He quickly ran in front of her.
"I..." Raven found the question hard to answer, especially since she didn't even know why. "I don't know why. When the others get out, tell them I'm at the tower." Raven's astral form flew through the roof of the mall.
"Friend Robin, please tell me why you said there was a sale on batteries. I was unable to locate a single battery with a lowered price," Starfire said as she and the other two boys exited the store and joined Beast Boy.
"Star- never mind," Robin replied when he realized it was pointless to even attempt to explain that it was just a cover-up.
"Hey, BB, where'd Raven go?" Cyborg asked.
"To the tower," Beast Boy replied.
"Beast Boy, what did you say to her?" Robin asked.
"I just told her a lame joke," Beast Boy half-lied.
"Uh-huh," Robin said, clearly not believing it.
MIRROR PORTAL TO RAVEN'S MIND
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!" Raven screamed at Knowledge (her emotion). All of Raven's emotions were gathered together on the on the center rock.
Knowledge seemed not to notice that Raven had screamed. "What do you think is going on," Knowledge asked mystically.
"This is not the time for your stupid smart-alec questions!" Rage yelled. The other emotions looked at her strangely. "What? You think I'm going to let her have all the fun of yelling at people in anger?"
"How can a question be 'stupid' if it is 'smart?'" Knowledge questioned.
"Please stop yelling at each other," Timid quietly requested.
"Or what? You'll start bawling like the baby you are!" Rage rounded on Timid.
"Rage, do us all a favor and leave Timid alone for once," Brave added to the already off-topic conversation.
"Can you please do this on your own time? We've got way more important matters to deal with right now," Raven said.
"Rae's totally right. Although you guy's should just get along and be happy like me!" Happy exclaimed.
Before Rage could scream at Happy, Raven cut in again. "What did I just say about the whole off topic-"
"Actually, you forgot to mention the words 'off' and 'topic,'" Happy interrupted. She saw the look on Raven's face and added, "just saying..."
"Does anyone else have anything to add to this pointless conversation, or can I tell you why I came here?" Raven asked with a dangerous calm in her voice.
"No, not really," Raven's emotions (excluding Knowledge) muttered.
"You came here because of your confusion about your feelings towards our friend Beast Boy," Knowledge replied.
"Yeah, that's why I came here," Raven replied. There was an awkward silence.
"So, anyone seen any good movie's lately?" Brave asked.
"No, but I heard this brilliant joke about an element that won the Nobel-" Happy started.
"Raven, I can't answer a question until it is asked," Knowledge interrupted Happy to tell Raven.
More awkward silence...
"You're scared of the answer, aren't you?" Knowledge asked.
"NO!" Raven replied/screamed.
"Does she realize that we're her emotions and can see through her weak lies?" Brave pondered aloud to Timid- loudly so Raven wouldn't miss it.
"Um..." Timid decided to just stay quiet.
"Fine, I'll ask the stupid question: why am I acting so strangely around Beast Boy?" Raven finally asked.
"Why do you think-" Knowledge began.
"QUIT WITH THE STUPID QUESTIONS ALREADY!" Raven yelled.
"Try living with Knowledge..." Rage muttered. She was ignored.
"Well, it is completely obvious Rae, you like him- as more than a friend!" Happy happily exclaimed.
"NO I DON'T!" Raven yelled again.
"Double negative means you do like him," Knowledge replied.
"But- I can't- there's no way- it's crazy- not like that- I'm not aloud to love anyone so it is pointless," Raven finally came up with a complete sentence that made sense, first feeling satisfied there was a loop-hole out of feeling love, and then disappointed.
"Yes you can," Knowledge said.
"Of course, you could always kill Beast Boy instead..." Rage added. Everyone ignored her.
"Love is different from other emotions-" Knowledge began.
"Other than the fact she's late, I told her hanging out with Rude was a mistake," Brave interrupted.
"I'm sorry I'm late," apologized a Raven in a sky-blue cloak softly. "Rude lied to me about the directions to get here."
"You look new," Raven told her. Raven had never seen any of her emotions in that color of a cloak or the sky-blue stilettos this one wore. Raven looked at the stilettos disapprovingly.
"It took you FOREVER to develop Love for BB," Happy said.
"Not long enough," muttered Rage.
"Most demons and half-demons never receive an emotion like me," replied Love. Raven noticed Love had a soft voice full of care and- here's a surprise- love. "You're one of the lucky few who do. Anyways, haven't you noticed how you can be brave, but you can't feel cocky or Brave? Love works similar to that: you can be in love or love someone, but if you get all lovey-dovey something will blow up. Besides, just cuze you refuse all temptations to ask him out, doesn't mean you aren't in Love with him," Love explained.
"But he doesn't like-" Raven was interrupted by a noise from outside of her mirror.
Knock Knock! Knock!
"Friend Raven, it is now time for your Knortel Vendelxort!" Starfire exclaimed with way too much enthusiasm.
"Dude, why can't you just call it a make-over?" Raven heard Beast Boy ask Starfire.
"Friend, your jokes are most humorous! You can't make someone over again!" Starfire replied.
Raven and her emotions looked at each other. They weren't happy (except Happy who was thrilled that someone as fashionable as Starfire would be giving Raven/all of them a make-over).
"And to think we all have to look like you..." Rage said in a not-so-happy voice.
"At least you don't have to wear pink," Raven responded.
STARFIRE'S ROOM
Starfire's usually neat room now had tons of issues of Seventeen, Cosmo-girl! (A.N. I HATE COSMO-GIRL, sorry to waste your time with that), and various other random fashion magazines that Raven wanted to destroy so badly strewn all over the floor, bed, and everywhere else. Raven was sitting at a vanity table facing away from the mirror and Starfire was in front of her ready to begin on Raven's knortel vendelxort.
"Friend, shall we begin with your hair or make-up first?" Starfire politely asked.
"Neither," Raven not-so-politely responded hoping that such an answer would be accepted. It wasn't.
"Then I shall begin with make-up," Starfire said. Raven was surprised when Star pulled out a can of self-tanning lotion.
"I happen to like my current skin color," Raven said. The way she said it was somehow threatening.
"Friend," Starfire said, mostly to remind Raven they were friends, "It washes off." Raven was relieved.
Other than that, the make-up part of the make-over was basically uneventful- as long as you ignore the parts concerning the too light eyeliner, too pink and glossy lip gloss- so it wasn't uneventful.
TITANS TOWER LIVING ROOM
"BOO-YAH!" Cyborg's victory cry once again rang out through the tower. He had once again defeated Beast Boy, but Beast Boy seemed not to notice and was absentmindedly pressing buttons on the GameStation controller. "Um, BB, it's over- you lost again," Cyborg said.
"What?" Beast Boy said coming out of his trance. He saw the 'Game Over' sign flashing on the TV. "Dude! I was totally kicking your butt! How'd I lose?" 'You thought about Raven and the dance,' he mentally answered his own question.
"Hey, BB, we all know you always lose whenever you play against me," Cyborg said.
"There was that one time-" BB began.
"But you normally don't lose by that much," Cyborg interrupted pointing at the score. Cyborg's score: 537,553. Beast Boy's score: 41,090. "Is something wrong?"
"You know how there's that dance after the finals that Raven is going to?" Beast Boy asked.
"Ha! I knew you liked her!" Cyborg shouted.
"Dude, you cannot tell her!" Beast Boy whispered.
"She'll find out when you ask her to the dance," Cyborg replied. He saw the expression on BB's face. "You are going to ask her, right?"
"I'm not sure if I should, there's no way she feels the same way."
"Actually, Mr. Oblivious, everyone else thinks she does."
"Why?"
"You'd be dead right now if she didn't. Unless she's just too busy right now to kill you." Well that's encouraging.
"So she either shares my feelings or will kill me when she has the chance. Must be my lucky day."
BACK AT STARFIRE'S ROOM
"Starfire, why is my hair moving?" Raven did her best to just sound vaguely curious. Try sounding vaguely curious when your hair is standing straight up and moving.
"That is because this magazine," Starfire held up an issue of Cosmo-girl, "said something about hair with lots of life."
Shadow: Who is the worst Teen Titan character (whether they're a Titan or not)- includes Clover from Totally Spies. I really hate her. Now I'm going to actually update Return from Stone.