Lost and Found

By: Junsui Kegasu

A/N: The muse is attacking me.

Disclaimer: …Would this fanfic seriously have…this is the 26th……….whoa…26…. that's a big number…

Gaara: She doesn't own it and now she's in disbelief.

"We're going…to call the police."

Neji hadn't been paying attention; he was too busy watching Gaara, trying to mentally will him to breathe, and to trust him again. He was being foolish, but he didn't care. He had tried to block out the possibility that Gaara might die, the fact that he had been brutally raped.

He tried to go back to happier times…had anything ever been 'happy' for these three, though? How blind had he been? He had been informed of what went on, but he never truly…comprehended it. How he regretted that…

"I DON'T CARE, JUST HURRY, GODDAMMIT!"

Neji jumped, turning to Kankurou, who was screaming at the portable phone, eyes wide and panicked looking. His hands were shaking. He probably wouldn't remember half of what he was doing in three hours' time.

The phone was in Kankurou's hand, not by his ear, and Neji could faintly hear a clear, feminine voice telling Kankurou to calm down and tell her the situation. Obviously, Kankurou could hear it too, because it only seemed to distress him further.

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN; MY BROTHER IS FUCKING DYING OVER HERE AND WE NEED A FUCKING AMBULENCE OR SOMETHING!"

And then there was dial tone.

"Th-they'll have called something, Kankurou," Temari said in a small voice. "He's g-gonna be okay…"

Who was she assuring, Kankurou? Herself? Neji?

There was silence in the room, thick as whole milk that was only broken by Gaara's stuttering gasps for air. They were getting less frequent. Was he losing his will to live? Did he ever have a will to live?

Neji wanted to know…he wanted to know everything. He wanted to make Gaara happy, happier than he had ever been in 11, perhaps even 14 years. His wishes, which he was willing to become reality, were broken, however, by the crooning of a siren, waxing in volume.

It was close. Gaara was going to be okay. Without thinking, he bent over and scooped up the ailing redhead into his arms, ignoring his panicked burst of attempted breath and sprinted down the stairs. He would've jumped the whole flight if there weren't the risk of hurting Gaara.

Behind him, he could hear Kankurou and Temari, running after him, but he didn't acknowledge them, zooming out the door to meet the ambulance that came. Neighbors were either on their porches or peering out their windows, some wearing faces of shock at the sight.

There were three men rushing out of the ambulance, two holding a stretcher suspended between them and one who would obviously be doing the operating. The third doctor took Gaara and laid him on the stretcher.

"Please step away from the victim," he said calmly. Neji knew he wasn't just talking to him; Kankurou was pretty much ahead of him, trying to see if Gaara would be okay, Temari was close, and neighbors had come outside out of curiosity.

Everyone gathered abided, taking a few steps back and forming a small circle around the doctors and Gaara. Kankurou obviously wasn't happy with the amount of neighbors out here; he growled menacingly.

"What the hell are you all looking at? Get away!" he told them, glaring.

"We have a right to know what happens in this neighborhood!"

"Yeah!"

"Your family is such a disruption anyways, with all the screaming!"

Wincing, Kankurou backed down, turning gentler eyes on his brother, who was currently panicking under the doctor's mandatory ministrations to check his vitals. Another doctor who must have been in the ambulance poked his head out and the two with the stretcher lifted him up into the vehicle.

The third doctor turned to the crowd. "Anyone who was not a direct witness to what happened, leave," he said in the same calm voice he had when he told him or her to back away. Slowly, the crowd of curious neighbors dissipated, much to Kankurou's relief. If they were too stupid to figure out what the screaming had been, or just not cared enough to report anything, then they shouldn't have been allowed to stay.

"Can anyone tell me what happened?"

Three voices started explaining at once, pretty much all around the same lines of "This has been going on for years" "…never thought it would go this far…" and "…raped…"

"One at a time," he asked, his tone never changing. He nodded at Temari.

"W-well…s-see…this has…been going on for some time…b-but we never thought…th-th-thought it w-would get this bad…a-and…and…" she broke down crying, collapsing onto her knees. Kankurou bent down to comfort her.

"He….h-he was raped…" he finished for her, his voice shaking.

The man turned to Neji. "I-I'm Gaara's boyfriend," he stammered. "We were to have our first date after school…and…he said he wanted to go home and clean up by himself…and when we got here he had…. I-it had…. al-already happened…"

"All right, so you two are relatives?" he asked Temari and Kankurou. Neji suddenly felt oddly out of place. Sure, he was involved with this…he had been the one to find Gaara…but he wasn't family.

Non-relatives weren't allowed to ride in the ambulances.

"Okay, which of you two is older?"

"Th-that would be me…" Temari stammered, standing up and wiping her hands on her jeans.

"Do you think you can calm him down?"

A tiny, sad smile twitched at the corners of the blonde's mouth. "Oh, no, definitely not…I'd be hysterical, too…"

"All right, and you?" he asked Kankurou.

After a moment's consideration, Kankurou nodded. "Yeah…I can get him to calm down…usually. But this time…he was just freaking out and he wouldn't let us touch him."

"He wouldn't let you two touch him after he had the attack…I was the only one there beforehand…" Neji muttered quietly. Kankurou however heard him and nodded. "Then…yeah, I think I can calm him."

Neji watched, numb as Kankurou climbed into the vehicle, Temari wiping tears from her eyes, sniffling loudly. When the car drove off, she turned to Neji.

"Gaara really likes you," she told him. "Really…really likes you…you're the first friend he's ever had."

He knew that Gaara liked him…he even knew that Gaara was beginning to trust him, if only very faintly. But had he destroyed that? This had been his fault…the ambulance wouldn't have had to come if Gaara hadn't had the asthma attack. Oh, god, this was all his fault!

"Gaara…Gaara, I'm so sorry," he whispered, reaching out to brush the shining wetness from the redhead's face.

"N-NO! D-DON'T TOUCH ME!" Gaara screeched, attempting to back away from him, but only succeeding in slamming his head into a wall. He didn't bring his hands up to hold his head in anguish, or even cry.

No, Neji decided that would've been better. Instead, he coughed.

ASTHMA.

He hadn't listened…if he had just listened to Gaara and not touched him; he wouldn't have panicked and had the attack! All this was his fault!

"T-temari," he started. "Temari…I'm sorry…"

Temari stared at him with tear-filled eyes. None, however, fell. "For what?"

"It's my fault he had the attack," he whispered, turning his gaze to his feet.

"No it's not…Neji…I have asthma, too…severe trauma aids it," she told him.

Neji stared. Why wasn't she having an attack, then? Of all of them, it had been she who had reacted the most, completely panicking.

"I've had it all my life, and mine isn't nearly as bad as his. He uses my inhaler, and…well, our prescriptions aren't the same," she told him.

"…Oh…hey, Temari?" he asked, suddenly realizing something.

"Yeah?" she answered absently, staring in the direction the ambulance had gone.

"Um…well…how are we going to get to the hospital?"

"…TARTA?"

"…I guess so."

Kankurou bit his lip. This moment would haunt him for the rest of his night; he knew it. Obviously, the whole thing would haunt him…but this moment…he knew that it would be etched deeper than ever.

He hated ambulances. He had never noticed until now, mostly because he had never had an excuse to ride in one. He didn't exactly mind that, though. He hated being helpless…and all he could do was watch as the doctors worked on his brother, making random notes.

At first, it was the obvious things, stuff that Kankurou had known for years, like how abnormally thin he was and that his bones were extremely small, his frame naturally petite. But, as the list went on, Kankurou was beginning to doubt thirteen years' worth of knowledge. Had Gaara always been that pale? The doctors said it was unhealthy…he either needed sun or he was anemic. Kankurou was pretty sure his brother wasn't anemic, and he voiced this opinion, to which the doctors gave him a look and said that they'd have to find out.

Also, had his elbow always stuck out in that angle when his arm was bent, as it was now, as the doctors were checking for broken bones? Kankurou couldn't remember any confrontation that had left him with his arm like that…was it possibly natural? Now that he thought about it, just how unhealthy was Gaara? He acknowledged the fact that he was extremely underweight…but the doctors were making it sound like it could be fatal. Was it that serious? He had never known…

Was this a good thing? He wasn't sure anymore. He knew that it all needed to be stopped; that Gaara needed to be taken away…but…

Why was he so afraid? This was beginning to anger him; how long had he wanted to get out of the frozen clutches of their father? Why now, when he had the chance to escape, was he having second thoughts?

'Because,' that annoying voice in the back of his head provided, 'you knew it wouldn't work. Especially in Sunaga.'

Scowling to himself, Kankurou begrudgingly admitted to himself that it was probably true. He had just wanted…no, needed assurance, even if it was false or completely unbelievable. He needed the lie to keep him going to keep his withering family together. He didn't like to admit it, but he envied families that could be completely together with no one gone and left, vital figures dead, and no abuse.

To him, it was a fantastical world; too good to be true. He did know, however that kids like that everywhere led that lifestyle. Despite how routine the happenings at home had come to seem, he knew that they were the minority.

The vehicle was stopping; they were in the emergency parking lot. There was no turning back now; he would have to just go along with it and hope that everything would turn out okay.

No, there was no hope – everything would turn out okay. That was the mind frame he needed. Realizing that he hadn't needed to do anything since Gaara had slipped into the bliss of ignorance to his frantic surroundings, Kankurou followed the quick-moving doctors, telling him that he would stay as close to Gaara as authority allowed, and he would only listen to authority if he saw it fair.

When they had made it to the ER waiting room

(Oh god not here anywhere but here that means it's really bad and if it's really bad then there's something really wrong please please please let him be okay)

the doctors told him to stop there and wait, since they were sure that he wouldn't be aloud in the operating room and that he was to just wait in the designated waiting room. He didn't like this, not one bit. If Gaara were to awaken, Kankurou knew that he would freak out on the doctors merely trying to assist him, which might injure his battered body further. The chances of that, though, were slim. He suspected that the doctors had done something to assure that Gaara would remain unconscious until they were done with what they needed to do.

Where were Temari and Neji?

TARTA had never been so disappointing. The world seemed to be conspiring, as if trying to say that the hospital was absolutely off-limits and Gaara was officially an untouchable. This was the most people that Neji had ever witnessed on one bus, and he had been consistently riding TARTA for two years.

He looked over at Temari. The older girl had obviously not ridden TARTA often. When they had gotten on the bus at the corner of their two streets, they had been forced to stand, and now, a little more than halfway to the hospital, they were still standing, hands clenched on the yellow bar above them.

Neji wished for at least one seat to open up; he had long ago obtained his 'bus feet', but Temari obviously had not and needed to sit down. All the stress and panic probably wasn't helping either. Letting go of the bar, he inched closer to the blonde, ready to catch her if she collapsed, like she looked ready to.

Every TARTA bus sign was stopped at, it seemed. At each stop, people got off, but then people got on, too. Because the stop signs were approximately every other block, the large bus was stopping a lot, so it delayed the could-have-been-ten-minute drive to the hospital. It had taken approximately twenty-five minutes already, Neji guessed.

Glancing at his wrist, his guess was confirmed. School let out at 2:25. They had made it to the Sabaku house at about 3:00, and gotten Gaara out of it by 3:15. He and Temari had been on the bus for a half of an hour, and they still had many TARTA stops to cover before the one near the hospital, where they would get off.

Four stops later, they were close, very close. The stop they would be getting off at was within three stops, but now they were in heavy traffic due to construction. Neji growled in impatience. Gaara was in the hospital, hurt (possibly) severely, and they couldn't even make it to see him! He needed them!

Finally, the light changed and the bus began inching forward again. No one seemed to be getting off at these stops, so they went neglected. They were close; the hospital was in sight. The next stop would be theirs.

Reaching over the head of a disgruntled middle-aged woman, Neji yanked on the yellow cord to signify he wanted to be let off. The bus slowed to a stop and opened the front doors. Sadly, the back ones must have been out of order, because those doors didn't open. He and Temari were in the back. Grabbing the older girl's wrist, he pulled them both through the crowd, exiting through the front doors.

The bus roared off, black smoke traveling in its wake. Temari, who had seemed very distant during the bus ride, seemed to come back to awareness at the looming sight of the hospital building before them and ran in its direction, leaving Neji to follow behind her.

Sprinting to the doors, they stopped for just a moment to catch their breath before stepping through the automatic doors. The main lobby wasn't empty, but it wasn't nearly as jam-packed as the TARTA bus had been. The receptionist desk had no line, so Neji and Temari made their way over, waiting patiently for the blonde woman there to acknowledge them.

After just a moment, the girl looked up at them, and in a voice far too deep to be feminine, asked what they needed. ''She's a 'he',' Neji noted. Before he had gotten a chance to ask his question, though, Temari had beaten him to it.

"We're here to see Sabaku Gaara," she said quietly, her voice slightly hoarse from lack of use. The boy looked at her, probably taking in her still-red and puffy eyes before nodding and turning to the computer. Neji noted briefly that his nametag read "Deidara", but he didn't really care.

After a moment, Deidara turned to them again. "He's in ER right now, but if you want, you can wait in the ER waiting room," he informed them. "It's on the seventh floor."

Neji nodded his thanks, paling slightly. Next to him, Temari had turned as pale as her brother. Silently, they walked to the elevator, pushing the 'up' button and waiting for the brass doors to open.

While they waited, Neji found himself making random observations. 'This place smells like shit…it's too…clean. It's unnerving,' he thought. Next to him, Temari appeared to be having more of a mental war than he did. Her face was clouded with worry and fear, but Neji couldn't bring himself to speak to her, unsure of what to say.

'E…R,' she thought, slowly. 'He's in ER…That…that's not good…what if…Oh, god…what if…' cutting herself off, Temari tried to force herself to think positive thoughts. Gaara would be okay; Kankurou had been with him. The redhead trusted both of his siblings with his life and more, if Kankurou was there, he'd be okay.

'But…he hadn't even let Kankurou touch him back there,' she remembered. 'He wouldn't let anyone touch him…what if he's still that delusional? Hopefully, the doctors would've fixed it, but…' Gaara had always been afraid of doctors. All three of them hadn't seen a doctor in over 11 years; their father was afraid his secret would be discovered. Gaara had it drilled into his brain that doctors were the epitome of evil, and that if he saw one, he would be severely punished.

"…Which would only make him freak out more…" she mumbled, not meaning to speak.

"Hm? Did you say something?" Neji inquired next to her. The elevator doors in front of them had opened and both of them stepped in, Temari reaching over to push the floor number '7'.

"No, nothing…" she told him, waiting. The elevator went up, making her feel slightly nauseous, and they stepped out, looking around. They were at the waiting room, and sitting in one of the hard, plastic blue chairs was…

"Kankurou!" Temari called out, hardly raising her voice, which was weak. The brunette turned his head and waved half-heartedly. With more energy to their walk, Temari and Neji crossed the waiting room, taking seats on either side of Kankurou. Closer up, they could see his eyes were tired and sorrowful, but there was some fear in there, too.

"Is…he going to be okay?" Temari asked tentatively, anxious for a response. Kankurou shook his head, but before terror could fill them, added, "I have no idea, yet…"

They waited in an antagonizing silence, observing the room around them. Everyone's face probably mirrored her own, Temari realized: Stony, sorrowful, and scared. Were there children going to make it? She didn't know. She hoped so, though; those parents cared. Those parents weren't like her father, who was the reason Gaara was in here in the first place. They strived to see their children succeed, not to push them down more levels than any child can bear with their self-esteem.

Finally, after what seemed an eternity, although according to the clock on the wall, it had only been twenty minutes, a man in a white coat stepped into the room. All eyes turned to him, hopeful and dreading at the same time.

"Is there anyone here for Sabaku Gaara?" he asked, his businesslike tone not telling anyone whether he was okay or not. Immediately, Kankurou, Temari, and Neji stood up, eyes wide and yearning for information. The doctor beckoned them closer. They shuffled over, and he said, in a tone low enough that only they could hear,

"He'll be okay, physically. His right elbow was probably broken at one point and now it sticks out at an abnormal angle, but he can still use his right arm; the injury appears to have been done a while ago. Nothing is really broken, he just has some minor cuts and severe bruises, but his mental state…" The man trailed off, letting Temari, Kankurou, and Neji figure it out.

There was complete silence for a minute. They had all known that mentally, Gaara wouldn't be okay, not for a long time, if ever. They could only hope that somehow, they could make it up to him, make him see that he had worth in this world, like everyone else.

"Can…we see him?" Neji asked nervously, chewing on his lower lip. The doctor's eyes immediately softened.

"Yes, but only one visitor at a time. Are all of you family?" he told them.

"No, she and I are family, and Neji is Gaara's boyfriend," Kankurou said, his voice a lot smaller than normal. "Is Neji still okay to see him?"

"Yes, that will be fine. Which of you wants to see him first?"

Temari and Neji exchanged glances, and then looked at Kankurou. The brunette stared back, before getting it. "Wh-what? Me? Are you sure?"

"Positive. You rode with him on the ambulance, Nii-chan," Temari reminded him. "And, chances are, if he's awake, he might need your assurance that everything's okay or he'll freak out."

After a slight mental battle, Kankurou nodded, turning to the doctor, who nodded also and led him down the hall. Temari and Neji sat back down, a large weight lifted off their shoulders, but both knowing that it wasn't over yet.

Kankurou was nervous as he followed the doctor down the hall. What if Gaara didn't want to see him? What if Gaara didn't want to see anybody? He knew that his brother would change from what had happened, but what if it was so severe that he wouldn't want them anymore?

The questions plaguing him, the doctor stopped in front of a door and opened it, giving Kankurou entrance. This room, ('Like the rest of the damn building,' Kankurou thought sourly) was a stark white, the bed, the floor, the walls, the curtains, which were tightly closed, and everything but a splotch of red over the pillow that Kankurou recognized as Gaara's hair and two tiny black circles that represented his brother's insomnia.

He wasn't awake, but the demon wasn't doing anything either. Taking a few cautious steps, Kankurou pulled up a chair, hoping to be quiet about it. He had no such luck, however, the chair scraping across the floor loudly. Wincing, and carefully looking over Gaara to insure that the redhead was still unconscious, he sat, staring at his brother for a moment.

Surrounded by all the painfully white blankets, he looked so much smaller than normal. One hand, looking nearly tanned against the bleached world was clutched into one of the folds. The room was silent with the exception of the rasping oxygen machine and the steady, annoying but at the same time, assuring beeping of the heart monitor.

Kankurou reached out, his fingertips brushing against Gaara's creamy hand. Its warmth calmed him for some reason, and he allowed his own, much larger, much darker hand to cover it, squeezing gently. Remembering some of the soap operas Temari watched from time to time, the thought that Gaara might be able to hear him crossed his mind.

It was worth a shot…

"Hey…" he started, his voice hardly a whisper. Clearing his throat, he willed himself to sound more confident. Gaara didn't need to hear how scared he had been, because then he'd feel bad. 'Worse,' Kankurou reminded himself grimly.

"Gaara…I'm sorry…" he couldn't stop his voice from cracking, and he realized how badly he wanted to cry. "If…if, you know…we had just told you that Neji really wouldn't mind, truly and utterly, maybe…y-you wouldn't have gone home alone an-and…" he swallowed, willing the bile that he risen in his throat to go back down.

"I…w-want to hope that you're g-gonna be okay…but…God, Gaara…I'm sorry…really, I am…can you ever find a way to forgive me?" he asked, begged nearly. Gaara didn't answer him.

However, he might've been wrong, but Kankurou was sure that he felt the tiny hand beneath his twitch.

Now that they were assured that Gaara was going to be okay, Temari and Neji were more anxious to see him than anything. They knew that he might never be 'okay', but they could help him be at least a little happy. They weren't worrying about that quite yet. Now, they just wanted to see him, to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay.

'I wonder if he's awake,' Neji thought. 'I want to apologize…apologize for just…everything, being stupid, not insisting that the mess was okay…' He knew it was bad to blame himself, but he'd rather it be 'his fault' than 'Gaara's fault'. He'd take the blame. He'd take everything away…

He wanted Gaara to be free. Gaara deserved to be free after eleven years of being stapled down, at least once a day the staples reinforced, pinning him down and rendering him helpless. Perhaps now, in the light of the fact that he was hospitalized, those staples would be lifted from deep in the ground, letting the redhead fly…

He barely registered the fact that Kankurou had returned to the waiting room until he started talking. Blinking, Neji wondered where he had gotten so poetic, but forced the thought away so he could listen to what the brunette had to say.

"No, he's not up…he looks like he'll be okay, though," Kankurou was saying to Temari, who was chewing on her nails, though they had been long-reduced to stubs.

"O-okay…Neji…do you want to go next?" Temari asked him, unshed tears still shining in her eyes. She said she wanted Neji to go next, but the longhaired teen saw that her eyes gave it away: she wanted to see her brother. Finding himself not wanting to deprive the girl of her injured family, he shook his head.

"No, you can go next, and I'll go last. It's okay, really," he told her leaning back against the uncomfortable plastic. Closing his eyes, he thought absently, 'If people wait in here so much, they should really put more comfortable furnishings around…'

Next to him, Kankurou was sitting on the edge of the chair, but leaned back so his head was hanging over the back of it. It didn't look very comfortable, but Neji couldn't be sure that was true. He looked troubled.

"So…he's not awake?" he started nervously, unsure how to start the conversation.

One bleary green eye opened and peered at him before Kankurou sighed, fixing his position in the chair so he was upright, shaking his head. "No…but, in truth, now that they've got him to calm down, he doesn't look that bad right now. The doctor said severe bruising, but there are only a couple on his face."

Neji nodded, somewhat pleased. "Do you think he'll be…okay?" he asked. He thought Gaara would be okay, eventually, but he couldn't be so sure of himself anymore. Kankurou had known the true severity of what their father had done for years, he, just an intruder, had not.

The brunette didn't answer for a moment, but just when Neji thought the conversation was over, he spoke, quietly.

"I think…. that it'll take a long time…ten years even, but…I think that with you around, Gaara will be okay," he told him, fidgeting in his chair, as if the topic of conversation was making him feel uncomfortable. Catching the hint, Neji backed off, sitting back in his seat and sighing, his thoughts once more centering on the redhead just a few rooms away from him.

Temari gulped as she entered the room. There, in the bed, looking like an angel to her was Gaara, an oxygen mask covering his thin face and an IV hooked up to his arm. Ignoring the noises of machinery keeping her brother alive, she crossed the room and sat in the chair by the bed, merely watching him sleep. She knew that Shukaku wouldn't impede on this time of resting.

Whenever Gaara slept, as rare as it was, all the stress and pain fled from his face, revealing the three year old innocence that shone through, though Gaara's face was devoid of any form of fat and the three year old that Temari was so strongly reminded of had cute, pudgy baby cheeks.

She couldn't help the tiny, sad smile that formed when she remembered the happy toddler, reaching out to brush her fingers against his cheek, much more bony than it should've been. He seemed so fragile under her fingers, like if she touched him any more than the gentle caress, he'd crumble, irreparable. While his fair skin was warm, he still seemed so dead to her, not flinching when she touched him like he normally would.

The only thing that completely assured her that Gaara was alive was the beeping of the heart monitor, which she was grateful for. Slowly, her touch moved from his cheek to his temple, barely ghosting a deep bruise. She had almost hoped that he would react, just to let her know that he really wasn't dead and the steady beeping beside her was no joke.

To her disappointment, Gaara didn't stir whatsoever, nothing changing in its eerie rhythm. Part of her felt guilty; Gaara sleeping like this was a good thing. She had just wanted to see him show some signs of life, though…anything would appease her right now. She needed to know that her baby brother was really going to make it. Words meant nothing; she needed Gaara to show her.

A single tear sliding down her face, Temari leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on the redhead's forehead, smoothing crimson away from porcelain. She pulled away, sniffling, just staring at her brother for any signs of change. Other than a couple of her tears on his forehead, he hadn't changed at all. He still looked serene and, for once, at peace.

Serene…

At peace…

Isn't that what she wanted him to be? For eleven years, it had been in her highest hopes that one day, Gaara could be peaceful again. Here, lying against the colorless hospital bed, he looked tranquil. Perhaps he was. His face didn't show if he was dreaming or not. If he was, was it a good dream? Was it, for once, not a nightmare? She couldn't be sure.

But one thing, she was certain on: he was really going to be okay. She could tell just by looking at him. The hospital would help. Doctors weren't bad, she realized. Doctors wouldn't hurt them, they never would've. They really were heroes; she had never believed it before. She would need to start donating to the Red Cross…

After he and Kankurou's short conversation, Neji sat in silence, his thoughts engulfing him. He had come to the realization that Gaara probably wouldn't want to be with him anymore. This was like a stab to his already-wounded heart, but he bit his lip, waiting for his turn more than ever so he could try to confront Gaara about it.

He didn't want to corner him with questions, of course, since he had been raped (he winced at the thought) not even six hours ago, but…if he was willing to talk…this was the first thing that needed to be sorted between them. Neji didn't want to push it with him, not at all, and he knew that while Gaara was already skittish about being touched, now, he would be paranoid, if not phobic about it. They either needed to remain as friends for the time being, or just never hook up. Perhaps it would be in Gaara's best interest.

Something told him, though, a small little something, that Gaara feared his rejection as much as he feared the redhead's. While it made sense to him now and he could almost accept that Gaara would most likely never want to see him again, he knew that when it actually happened, something inside of him would die. There was no preparing for it.

Unlike when Kankurou had stepped out of the hallway, Neji noticed immediately when Temari came in. He had been waiting, though he tried not to let it show. She gave him a look that told him it was his turn and he stood up, resisting the urge to sprint to Gaara's room to see if he was awake. He needed to keep his composure.

When he entered the room, Neji had to admit that he was disappointed to find Gaara eerily peaceful, unconscious. He crossed the room, taking a seat in the chair, which was still warm. He suspected that both Temari and Kankurou had sat in it also.

'The white compliments him,' Neji thought, nearly surprised. He didn't look so unhealthily pale, but surrounded by the bright reality, the visible bruises littering his face were much more pronounced. He knew they weren't serious, but it still sparked an anger inside of him that raged into a dangerous storm of fire, feeding off of the drought that was his previous ignorance towards the boy laying, relying on an oxygen mask to breathe properly.

"Gaara," he breathed, feeling tears start to moisten his cheeks. "Gaara…I…I don't know what to say…this is my fault…"

Was it a trick of the light, or had Gaara's face twitched? Was he stirring? Neji's heart thudded in his chest. He wasn't sure if he could face those big green eyes right now. He stared, unblinking at the redhead's face for a moment, holding his breath. When Gaara remained motionless he let the air out slowly, relieved.

He wasn't sure what he was so afraid of. Gaara couldn't physically harm him in any way if he had woken up, no, but Neji dreaded the rejection he fully expected from him. Was that his fear? Yes, he thought it was. The sensible part of his mind told him that Gaara would never do that to him, and that he probably feared the same thing…but he was afraid. And fear did things to people.

"If…if you want to…you know, n-not do this anymore," he continued, his voice shaking even though Gaara couldn't respond to him. "I…I-I understand…but…I just…I don't know. I-it might be best for you…but…I think I love you, I c-can't leave you!" he sobbed, putting his face in his hands to hide his tears rather obviously.

Next to him, though he couldn't see it, Gaara's brow furrowed, his head turning just slightly to the side. Neji, lost in his misery, did not notice it. He looked back up, not realizing the difference. "Gaara…God, Gaara, I need an answer…do…do you st-still want to be with me?"

He stared at the redhead; trying to will him to awaken this time. When Gaara remained as he was, he sniffled, placing his head back into his hands and rocking gently. He had never felt like this about anyone else before, it must've been love, he concluded. It was all out the window, he knew it. He might as well just leave, Gaara wasn't going to answer him, and even if he did, there was such a chance that he would say no…

Mortified of the rejection, Neji stood up, causing the chair to scoot back loudly. With tears still streaming down his face, he turned to the door, ready to open it and leave. He had made it half way across the room, however, when a tiny, nearly inaudible sound reached his trained ears.

"N-neji…"

Neji spun back around, white eyes as wide as saucers. The first thing that struck him was two glazed over jade orbs; Gaara was awake. Had he heard him? Was he going to reject him now? Neji was unsure, but he found himself walking back to the bed, standing in front of Gaara.

"G-gaara," he whispered, one hand reaching out to cup his cheek. Instinctively, Gaara flinched, but Neji tried to pretend that he hadn't. "Gaara, I'm so sorry," he began.

"P-please," Gaara cut him off, his voice extremely weak and hard to hear over the machinery around him. "P-please d-don't apo-apologize anymore…A-and," fear lit up his eyes, shining brightly, and Neji wanted to go out and kill whatever caused that fear right now. "P-please don't…d-don't leave me!" he cried, a tear falling from one eye and, because of gravity, glided over his nose to disappear into the white pillow.

Neji stared at him. Gaara had been afraid of his rejection. He had noted that he might be, but the look in his eyes…he was truly terrified! Neji couldn't bear to see him that afraid, couldn't bear to break him with rejection. Giving the redhead a watery smile, he gently picked up Gaara's hand, planting a gentle kiss on it before responding.

"I won't…and that's a promise."

At his words, Gaara began to sob, turning to bury his face into the pillow. Concerned, Neji bent over him, the hand that wasn't encasing the smaller, thinner one stroking his hair. "Gaara? What's wrong?" he asked, confused.

Slowly, Gaara turned to face him again, tears still leaking from his eyes at a slow pace. "I…I don-don't deserve y-you," he told him, averting his gaze. "J-just look at m-me…"

"You're beautiful," Neji told him firmly. "You've always been beautiful." Reaching out again, he cupped Gaara's chin gently, staring into his eyes. Sadness, pain, and some lingering fear shone like neon signs, but there was also relief in there too.

What was he doing? He was leaning closer, and Gaara didn't seem to mind. His face was nearing the redhead's; should he stop? He didn't know, his heart was thudding in his ears, blocking out the sound of the heart monitor, which was probably beating at the same pace if not a little faster. They were inches apart now, were they really going to do this?

Suddenly, the door burst open and a doctor came in. "Excuse me, but-" he took in the scene in front of him. Neji's head turned to face him, a blush erupting over his face. He took his hand from Gaara's chin and released his hand, turning to face the doctor.

"I-is my visiting time up?" he asked, his voice higher than normal. Glancing behind him, he could see that Gaara's face was the same shade as he was sure his was, if not darker. The doctor nodded, apologizing softly. "Yes, we need to do some more work."

Neji heard Gaara's breath catch. "M-m-more w-work?" he asked, his voice tiny. "B-but…do-doctors are bad… I-I'm going to be punished!" he cried, a hand coming to cover his mouth. Neji turned back around.

"Gaara," he started. "Gaara, it's okay. These people are going to help you, okay?" he asked him, one hand reaching out to stroke the side of his face. Gaara leaned into the touch, sniffling.

"Doctors are b-bad," he repeated. "I-I'll g-get punished."

"You're not going to be seeing your father after this," the doctor said. "We haven't found him yet, but when we do, he'd going to prison."

Gaara's eyes widened immensely. "O-oh no! I-I…I…N-Neji! I-I h-have to go home! I j-just have to!" he cried. Neji shook his head, leaning over to gently hug him. He was shaking gently under his touch, whether it was from being touched or from the doctor's words, he didn't know. "D-dad'll be s-s-so m-mad an-and he s-s-said h-he'd…h-he'd…" his voice trailed off in a whimper, and Neji felt his anger start to burn again.

"Gaara," he told him. "What he did was wrong. What's he's been doing is wrong. You don't deserve that; no one does. Even he doesn't deserve the things he did to you. It was beyond evil. You're not going back to him. Even if he wasn't being arrested, I wouldn't let you," he said firmly, petting Gaara's hair. Beneath him, the boy sniffled, but didn't protest further.

"Are you going to be okay by yourself in here with the doctors?" he asked softly, standing up. Gaara considered it, but after a while, nodded. Neji turned to leave, but Gaara grabbed his hand, whimpering. "It's okay," he coaxed, giving the tiny hand a gentle squeeze. After a moment, Gaara released him, and he made his way back to the door, turning to wave to Gaara and give him an assuring smile before exiting.

When he got back to the waiting room, Kankurou was immersed into conversation with a police officer and Temari had fallen asleep laying over a row of chairs. He sat next to where her feet were, staring at the ground. Gaara really was going to be okay, he decided. He had talked to him, even, and he wasn't going to reject him. Things seemed pretty bad now, but they would get better.

That was a promise.

…Oh, wow, this is long…and sentimental…and I cried writing it. Go figure, I always cry while I'm writing touching things. So…. yeah. I AM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! It was actually rather funny, yesterday, when this was still only six pages long (it's 15 and a half now) I was like "FSDGFSGFSDGSK OMIGOD, I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN TWO WEEKS!" to Shu-nee-chan, and I went on a typing storm. Seriously. I have FINALLY FINISHED THE CHAPTER! BWAHA!

Oh, and just as a note, the next one is the last. I can't believe it's ending!