Curse of a Taboo Child

Chapter 17: Taken

I have no excuse whatsoever for such lateness… UU; But it's finishing…

"What do you want!" Sanzo growled dangerously. The figure in his arms was beginning to have slight seizure. Sanzo swallowed down the panic for he knew if the poison in Goku's was the same as Gojyo's, the effect would be fast and there was no way he could shoot these two demons in time for him to run upstairs and call Hakkai.

Not to mention, Hakkai was rendered chi-less for the past three days.

Kenshin just laughed. Either he found Sanzo's question was ridiculous or he was just enjoying the distress that Sanzo was so desperately tried to hide. "Good question, Sanzo… I wonder what else I could have wanted that make you feel necessary to ask."

The twin amethyst orbs narrowed at the blatant sarcasm. It pissed him off more and more. "Give me damned antidote!" Sanzo demanded coolly. He'd be fucking damned if they knew just how close he was to go berserk.

"We will." The blue black-haired demon spoke up for the first time. He sounded so steely and silkily that made Sanzo thought of Hakkai when either of them was doing something that pissed him off badly. Like using empty beer cans as ashtray or messing up the hotel room until Sanzo lost his sutra or… Well… they were a lot more actually.

"But?" Sanzo asked dryly. He could feel Goku's tight grasp to his robe was loosening and the spasms were getting more obvious and frequent. Sanzo could hear Goku gasped in pain.

Zean ignored the tone. "We will give you the antidote after you came with us."

Sanzo snorted. "Whatever makes you think I would follow you two sick-fucks to anywhere? I've got much better place to go!"

"Either that," Zean said pointedly at the pale Goku in Sanzo's protective arms. "Or your precious monkey dies. I am not too generous to give anyone a poison that allows quick death, as you have seen the way Gojyo suffered."

Sanzo gritted his teeth. It was true. Gojyo did suffer. More than the half-breed could handle and more than any of them could bear to watch. The monk had seen the way Gojyo screamed, writhed and all the blood bursting out like spring. Watching Gojyo was one thing but to have Goku suffered the same way?

No.

No fucking way.

He'd be dead before he let anything happened to Goku.

"Just me?" Sanzo eyed the raven-haired demon warily. The answer to that question was obvious for Sanzo saw the maniac gleam in the demon's lavender eyes. He didn't want to know what the crazy, volatile and cruel Kenshin would do to Gojyo once he got the half-breed in his clutch again.

"I think I can easily handle the exhausted Hakkai and the recovering Gojyo without using poison as blackmail." Kenshin shrugged.

It was then, Sanzo realized that Kenshin didn't only want Gojyo; he wanted the whole package. It was understandable since Goku had managed to outclass him, Sanzo had shot at him three cruel places and Hakkai, well, for just being Gojyo's lover. Kenshin wanted the revenge and somehow, Sanzo knew that of all three of them, the one Kenshin would like to hurt the most is Hakkai.

That was why, Kenshin refused to use poison in capturing Hakkai and Gojyo. He wanted to hurt Hakkai and let Gojyo watched him hurting Hakkai. Kenshin was truly evil, Sanzo realized. He had thought so when Kenshin released Gojyo from his limiter, knowing that Gojyo had no control whatsoever and would fight Hakkai. He also had realized the depth of Kenshin's evilness when he saw the bloody threat the raven-haired demon had left at the abandoned house. But this confirmed everything. The depth of Kenshin hatred and how far he was willing to go to satisfy it was frightening.

And Sanzo couldn't even imagine what would happen to Gojyo. Even if he understood what the perverted demon wanted, it didn't mean he could do fucking anything about that.

Not when it was Goku's life at stake.

Never when it was Goku's life at stake.

"Sa…Sanzo…" Goku gasped before let out low, barely-strained scream.

"Goku!" Sanzo looked down at his charge and was horrified to see the blood tickled from the corner of his lips. Suddenly a sickening wave of dejavu swept him as images of Gojyo dying flashed in front of his eyes.

"…Don't…" Goku struggled for breath. "…don't follow them… please…"

"Shut up!" Sanzo's eyes darkened in obvious alarm. He couldn't let another important person in his life died just because he couldn't protect him. He just couldn't let Goku died! "I fucking know what to do, monkey." Harsh tone to cover just how fucking close he was to feeling scared.

Given the situation, Sanzo knew he had no option at all because letting Goku died just because the monkey said so was not an alternative in the first place. And he knew there was no way for Hakkai to protect himself and Gojyo at the same time without using his chi. And Gojyo was just useless as he was right now.

Without options, Sanzo thought ironically, there would be no decision to make. He was efficiently trapped and all because Goku was coughing up blood and trembling. Had he gone so soft on Goku that he didn't realize it until now? How did Goku become so important that he was willing to forsake his own life? He, the most vain and selfish monk ever lived, was willing to do anything for a boy that annoyed him every single day of his life…

With that, Sanzo stood up, lifting the boy in his arms. It wasn't that easy for Goku was heavy with muscles and pain-strained struggling butSanzo appreciated the movements. It proved to him that Goku was still alive and the poison hadn't seeped into his system too much. "An antidote first, then I'll fucking follow you to wherever hell hole you sick-fucks dwell in!" Sanzo retorted haughtily.

Zean raised an eyebrow. He had never seen a more proud human than the one in front of him. They had him trapped and he could see Sanzo knew that too. And still he made demands as if he was still in control of everything. "I have the cure; not you." Zean said curtly. "Therefore, I make the order, you just follow."

Sanzo stared at the smaller demon icily. If glare could kill, Sanzo would save the glare and use his fucking gun instead. Shooting in five different places that could render a demon into pitiful begging before he blew of the demon's brain. "Antidote first." The tone was authoritative and even colder.

Kenshin narrowed his eyes, clearly aggravated. "You little fuck…" Kenshin advanced threateningly.

Zean hold out a hand to thwart Kenshin's angry advances. Instead, he said, "You have at least ten more minutes before the poison completely seeps into that boy's system. After that, not even my antidote would work."

Sanzo's violet eyes narrowed and darkened. The threat was obvious and Sanzo didn't want to acknowledge it.

"The boy dies; you would still have to follow us. We win twice and you will be a complete loser." The alchemist continued with that-so grating tone. Sanzo wanted to burn him so slowly using his sutra.

But, then, Zean was right. He hated losing his authority and hated even more when someone was pointing out he was no longer in control.

"If Goku dies…" Sanzo said in that awful tone of his. The one that made the ground he standing on crawled in uneasiness. "I will see you regret it…"

Kenshin snorted. But strangely, he had the feeling that the warning wasn't empty.

Things had been very quiet downstairs. Hakkai couldn't hear neither of Sanzo's irritating and angry shouts nor Goku's whines. It was as if they were both acting civilly and that worried Hakkai. His companions were not supposed to act civilly; they were noisy, brutish and very, very immature; well, for Goku and Gojyo's part anyway.

Hakkai sat in the very same room he had shared with Gojyo for the last three days and he was indecisive as to whether to go down and checked his other two companions. Gojyo would tease him later about how mother-like he was.

Gojyo had just finished taking a tentative bath, immensely glad to feel his body free from any scent of blood. As he struggled into the clothes Hakkai had provided, feeling exhaustion catching up with him fast, he grinned and winked when he realized Hakkai was watching him intensely. The said brunet smiled back as he stood up. The fact that Gojyo was openly flirting with him backmade Hakkai felt immensely happy.

After saying to Gojyo that he was going to get the redhead some food and he would come back soon enough, Hakkai trod downstairs.

Quiet. The corridor was too quiet to Hakkai's liking.

He had a very ominous feeling.

Like there was an ambush awaited him downstairs.

And he couldn't protect any of his companions with his current state.

"Sanzo?" Hakkai called, moving straight to the diner, knowing Goku's bottomless stomach and Sanzo would be too soft-hearted (even the monk would never say it) to refuse his charge. "Goku?"

But there was no answer. Hakkai didn't like this at all. Something was obviously off. Biting his lips, Hakkai thought hard. Where would Sanzo and Goku go? Sanzo had specifically said they would leave the town as soon as Gojyo's awake and the monk was too anxious to leave. Had something happened? It wasn't like Sanzo and Goku to suddenly vanish without telling him first; not after all that had happened.

Hakkai gave himself a hard mental shake. Stop it right there. You are being unreasonably paranoid. Unreasonably paranoid? Hakkai thought. Considering what four of them had gone through recently, he had the right to be paranoid. Especially when Sanzo and Goku weren't in the diner as Hakkai would think in the first place.

Something was definitely wrong.

He stood indecisively. After a while, Hakkai turned around to go back upstairs. If something happened, Hakkai had no doubt Goku could protect Sanzo. It was the still-recovering Gojyo that concerned Hakkai the most. Gojyo was still recovering and he couldn't even slip into his clothes without feeling tired. Although he didn't know how he was supposed to protect him without his chi, he would feel reassured if Gojyo was right in front of his eyes.

Hakkai entered the narrow corridor that would lead him back to the stairs and what he saw standing in his way made Hakkai's eyes went wide. It was Kenshin and he was holding a long metal stick, tapping impatiently against the wooden floor. The demon was exactly like Hakkai had remembered; tall, striking and arrogant. Every inch of his body formed the word 'vengeance', highlighting his intention and Hakkai knew exactly to whom the vile feeling pointed to.

His body tense abruptly as every muscle screamed in loud warning. A pair of green eyes narrowed with silent, intense anger and Hakkai curled his hands into tight fists. So, this was what had happened. Sanzo and Goku's sudden disappearance was answered immediately at the sight of the loathsome demon with winning, repugnance smirk.

What Hakkai wanted to know was how Kenshin was able defeated Goku silently and quickly.

"You don't think I would let something as priceless as Gojyo go, do you?" Kenshin drawled, breaking the icy silence around them.

The demon inside Hakkai screamed in rage possessively as Kenshin was clearly taking what was solely his. "But you let your friend poisoned him!" Hakkai snapped, suddenly desperate to go Gojyo and warned him about Kenshin's presence right now. He wanted Gojyo to run away.

Because he knew neither him nor Gojyo could thwart Kenshin's attack now. Not in their current condition.

"Zean did what he wanted," Kenshin shrugged, both enjoying and hating Hakkai's anger. "I don't know about that. But, Gojyo had survived and Zean and I had worked out our differences."

Hakkai found the expression on Kenshin's face was too arrogant for him to bear. Forcing his angry expression to remain hidden and put back his mask, Hakkai attacked verbally. His tone was aloof, "Do the differences you two worked out involve what you are going to do, now that your potions cannot be sold?"

Kenshin narrowed his eyes at the blatant attack.

The change in Kenshin expression showed Hakkai how his attack hit the mark and Hakkai went further. "And it seems to me, you no longer have any group to side with, since Kougaiji clearly treats you like an enemy rather than a demon." With eyes as cold as green ice, expression as hard as steel and silent rage radiated warningly, Hakkai smiled. "You are penniless, isolated, complete failure and in other word, a loser."

A loser. That was the very word Zean had thrown to Sanzo before. To find the word was thrown back to him made Kenshin shaken with rage.

And Hakkai didn't stop there. If he and Gojyo were to be taken, there was no way he would give in without inflicting some sort of injuries to Kenshin. "Don't bother to vent your frustration to us, just because you are too dim-witted to stop haunting us when you have the chance."

Kenshin gave in to his anger as he lunged forward to strike the insolent half-man half-demon in front of him. Hakkai knew he was destined to lose, but he put up his hands anyway to generate shield using what left with his still recovering chi. The shield was generated and Kenshin's attack was thwarted.

For the time being.

The force of Kenshin's attack produced a loud clang as it met the hard-form green energy and it pushed Hakkai backward. It was not enough. The first shield was not enough. He barely could break Kenshin's initial assault. His shield might have protected Hakkai at first but he knew he couldn't generate a second, equally strong shield to meet Kenshin's next, incredibly fast swung of iron stick.

To generate the first one was already consuming too much of his still recovering energy.

And it hit directly to Hakkai's stomach, stunning the healer momentarily as he cough out blood. He was thrown backward and another loud crash echoed throughout the previously quiet corridor as his back met forcefully the wooden wall.

Hakkai didn't give in to the painful groan that threatened to escape nor the urge to remain unmoved as he immediately rolled away from the wall to avoid another of Kenshin's relentless attack. Even as Kenshin continued his assaults and Hakkai spontaneously, rather than calculatingly, evading them, none of them was aware of the staggering Gojyo, who had come down to check out of all the disturbing noises.

Gojyo couldn't believe what he was seeing. One minute he was waiting for Hakkai to come back upstairs and the other minute he heard a loud crash. And when he went down to have a look, he saw Kenshin's unforgivable metal stick hit Hakkai's abdomen. His heart dropped at the sight of Hakkai thrown to the wall.

The fight was clearly unfair as it was Kenshin, who was attacking and Hakkai could only evade. Gojyo knew Hakkai didn't have enough chis to be engaged in any kind of battle, especially with Kenshin as his opponent. To make the matter worse, they were fighting in a narrow corridor, which made Hakkai more at disadvantage because he couldn't, even if he could, release his chi to attack Kenshin without hurting himself as well.

It was like reentering his nightmares. The ones that he thought he would never have to experience again. Gojyo felt the claws of cold fear gripped him. They couldn't win like this. No enemies had ever attacked them continuously like Kenshin and Zean did. They didn't have time to recover. He didn't have time to recover! And he needed the time so badly! Gojyo knew exactly what would happen if Kenshin ever got him back under his clutch; he would be chained back to the bed, wearing that loathsome leather top and being painfully, repeatedly, mercilessly…

No! NO! He couldn't go back! He wouldn't go back!

Hakkai was inevitably being pushed into the corner. He knew he couldn't keep on avoiding the attacks. The result was clear; why did he keep on fighting the unavoidable? Kenshin's harsh swings were getting harder to avoid; he suffered too many beatings to keep on with Kenshin's speed. Judging from the blood that tickled down his chin, Hakkai knew he was injured internally and sooner or later his body would protest such vigorous movements that he forced and then, Kenshin would bring him down definitely.

Hakkai's face turned grim. He knew exactly why he kept on fighting the losing battle. It was because of the first true light he saw on Gojyo's face this morning. It was because the taste of normality that was granted to him after for so long. It was because he knew Gojyo had loved him back. He couldn't let Kenshin take them all away; not when he worked so hard to regain what was lost.

As it was, Hakkai was pushed to the corner. His back hit the unforgivable solid, hard wall, knocking him out of his breath for countless times. That was it, Hakkai thought as he spat the blood from his mouth, he couldn't take it no more; he couldn't avoid the unavoidable. Black spots were blinding his eyes and his brain belatedly registered the coming attack from Kenshin. His brain screamed for him to move but his body was finally reached the limit that instead of dodging as he intended to do, his legs gave in and it was too late for him to do anything.

Gojyo saw the whole thing. He wished he hadn't but he did. Each time Hakkai spat blood from his mouth, Gojyo could almost feel pain across his chest. Each time Hakkai was pushed cruelly to the walls, Gojyo moved ever more closely. He had known Hakkai for so long already that he could recognize what each movement that his lover made meant. So, when Hakkai was flung sickeningly to the wall for the last time, he knew – he frighteningly knew – what it meant. Hakkai was body was failing him and it was only time before Kenshin finished him.

Gojyo was horrified. Cold dread washed over him.

Then he was furious.

He would not stand and watch Hakkai being killed in this unfair fight.

And his body moved.

Without him thinking or planning about it because it was so natural for each of them to do it, Gojyo ran. Ignoring the way his stiff muscles strained against such forceful movement. Ignoring the way his heart squeezed just now in fear of what would happen to him if Kenshin took him. With his heart ruling his body, instead of head, he just ran and ran and then, flung himself in front of Hakkai…

"Hakkai…! Get down!" The words came out unnecessarily, recklessly.

Both Hakkai and Kenshin were shocked at Gojyo's sudden appearance. So shocked were both of them that as Gojyo pressed himself so protectively in front of Hakkai; his arm reached back to touch the warm evidence of alive Hakkai that he had indeed arrived in time, Kenshin's long metal stick stopped so dangerously just before Gojyo's throat and Hakkai's hand tightened so painfully around Gojyo's back-reached arm in response.

"Gojyo!" Hakkai gasped; blood drained out from his face out of fear and shock.

Kenshin didn't say anything; his whole body was so tense and rigid but his wide, pale lavender eyes betrayed the composure he held, showing so clearly the surprise that he felt.

For a while, three of them were so still in that position: Hakkai was pinned between the wall and Gojyo, while the redhead looked so defiant, with his head looked up proudly – seemingly without any fear – staring unflinchingly into Kenshin's intense lavender eyes that were darkened with such anger and lust even when the latter was pushing the metal stick against his neck. None of them moved; only the harsh breathings as evidence of previous fight could be heard.

Gojyo felt his knees weakened. He knew his body wasn't supposed to run and being thrown so carelessly like just now. He just regained his consciousness after three days sleeping without eating. All that he could do to protect Hakkai for now was standing between his lover and Kenshin like defensive wall; it matter not how tenuous wall he was.

"Is poison still not enough, then?" Gojyo stated rather than asking, breaking the frozen cocoon that surrounding them. His tone was flat, void of any emotion but his eyes were burning with hatred.

Kenshin looked at the half-breed in front him as he was suddenly being gulfed by the familiar feelings whenever he had Gojyo under his mercy. Still so passionate, insolent and magnificent even after all that he had gone through. It was not those traits that angered him to point he wanted to ram his weapon into Gojyo's pale, frail looking neck. It was the fact Gojyo was flinging himself to protect Hakkai even when he, himself, could not standing convincingly.

It showed him just how deep Gojyo's feeling ran for the healer behind him. It was unfathomable. It also mean he, Kenshin, didn't have any chance at all.

"I'm long from finishing, Gojyo…" Kenshin hissed, adding pressure of his stick to Gojyo's neck. He noted with strained amusement/anger that Gojyo was pushing back against it. So defiant… so much fire… Kenshin couldn't wait to have him in his bed again; screaming and writhing with such pain… He had so much of retribution, anger and lust to vent to him… "As you will know soon…"

Hakkai could hear the way Gojyo's breathings amplified and feel the way his lover leaned against him heavily no matter how subtle they were... He couldn't know whether they were due to the fact that Gojyo's body was collapsing or to the warning that Kenshin gave so clearly. But he knew that he, himself, was angry. For not being able to shield Gojyo from experiencing this whole thing again. For himself being so weak. For Kenshin for just being alive.

"Step aside, Gojyo," Kenshin ordered softly but the tone clearly wanting no disobedience.

Gojyo managed a smirk. Somehow, the feel of Hakkai's warmth behind seemed to conjure up the long lost courage. "And let you kill Hakkai? No fucking way."

Kenshin was so angry to the point the metal stick against Gojyo's throat shook with unstrained fury. "I damn will if you don't move away."

"Try it…" Gojyo hissed as he lifted his chin in unknown bravado.

Kenshin's eyes dilated in such darkness that made Gojyo clenched his fists so tight that he nearly drew his blood. He might sound daring, but deep inside, memories from the past that he had successfully buried frothing out with such vengeance that it took all his self-control to stop himself from hyperventilating. But how could he? When those cold lavender eyes looked at him, Gojyo felt as if they were pouring the unwanted memories in front of him.

He felt so overwhelmed; he was suffocating.

The remembrance of the pain and humiliation attacked him viciously, pulling him further in the dark memories that he had fought against. They felt like grabbing hands and they were clawing him and Gojyo had to labor each breath for him to stay focus.

Perhaps Kenshin saw through his brittle mask or noticed the way his hands shook or heard his laborious breathing because the raven-haired demon was smirking slightly.

"Are you sure Gojyo?" Kenshin raised his dark eyebrow. "Because in case you don't know, both of you have absolutely no chance of winning against me."

"Shut up…"

"Why? It would not be any different because you already know that you will be the one that will not shut up once I get you where I want you to be."

The threat was so clear that it sounded like promise. Gojyo could feel whatever self-control he held was quickly slipping like sand through fingers.

Hakkai could feel, rather hear, the way Gojyo's breathing deepened, turning harsh and fast. He knew if he didn't stop Kenshin's mind-fuck, Gojyo would lose whatever fragile control he had now. In fact it was a miracle Gojyo could still exchange threats, no matter how unconvincing he sounded, with Kenshin.

He might not be able to protect Gojyo from the crazy demon but at least he could shelter his lover from being further messed up by Kenshin.

So, with the little strength that left in him, Hakkai pushed Gojyo aside, putting latter behind, reversing the position. Gojyo didn't fight much of Hakkai's acts, proving to the healer how much the trauma had consumed the half-breed. "Stop messing with him." The tone was so cold and hard and Hakkai tightened his grip to Gojyo's arms, digging his nails into the redhead's flesh to make Gojyo stayed with him, instead of wandering further inside his memories.

"Why? Are you angry to see how much control I have over Gojyo?" Kenshin said challengingly. "You just couldn't accept that, could you?"

Hakkai could see the truth when it was flung in front of him, but to acknowledge it was a very different thing. It showed how much part of Gojyo he had lost to Kenshin. And Hakkai had been fighting to get that very part back ever since Gojyo was kidnapped.

The realization angered the usually reserved healer that he didn't care about his injuries as Hakkai lunged toward the demon that caused all these. Kenshin expected this reaction. Smirking triumphantly, he stepped back to avoid the greenish chi that flew across him. Kenshin tsk-ed and taunted. "Really, Hakkai. If you'd even think that pathetic excuse of an attack could hurt me…"

Hakkai didn't bother to answer that. Instead he continued his striking, hoping, no matter how futile it seemed, that Gojyo would take this as an opportunity to escape. But of course Gojyo wouldn't. Even if Gojyo was in his right mind, Hakkai knew that Gojyo would never leave any of his friends alone to face danger. But Gojyo wasn't thinking straight now; he was lost in his nightmares that were intentionally triggered by Kenshin.

"Gojyo! Run!"

Kenshin had had about enough. He knew he should just killed Hakkai right now, while he had the chance and not succumbed to his dark-hell vengeance. But he was just a demon, succumbing to vengeance was what a demon supposed to do. And he wanted the chance to torture the brunet for just being Gojyo's lover. So, he raised his stick to knock Hakkai unconscious and apparently the healer was not the one to give up easily.

It took more than just one attack to bring Hakkai down. And before Hakkai surrendered himself to the darkness, he cast a final, despair look at Gojyo. "Run…Gojyo…"

The last thing Hakkai saw was Kenshin walked so purposefully toward Gojyo…

"And you left? Just like that?" Kougaiji raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

Dokugakuji's face was expressionless, belying the stormy emotions inside. They arrived two days ago, after Yaone managed to pry him away from bar and stopped him from drowning even further into the mind-numbing alcohol. Kougaiji wasn't in the castle then. And Dokugakuji was free to hide himself in the dark, torturing himself with the still-echoing screaming of his brother.

Because of the potion that he, in the first place, had thought as a cure.

He was so immersed in his own guilt that Yaone became so worried about him. It took her no longer than a minute to look for their prince the moment the news of Kougaiji had returned reached them. And it even took Kougaiji less than half a minute to find Dokugakuji in his favorite 'guilt-corner', as Kougaiji had often liked to refer to.

There was nothing that Dokugakuji could hide from his prince. There was something about his fiery prince that offered comfort and confidence. All Kougaiji had to do was be there and looked at him in such warmth. And Dokugakuji would begin to tell him slowly and tried to avoid expressing his emotions too much. It was hard, sometimes, to be in control in front of Kougaiji.

There was a time that Dokugakuji would like to think that he had given something similar to his prince in return.

This time was no different. At the end of his story, Kougaiji was stunned and silence. For a moment, he thought his prince was going to berate him for being so stupid for letting an enemy tricked them into injecting a poison into Gojyo. Not that he had anything to say in defense of that. He was being stupid.

But, no. Kougaiji was questioning his action of abrupt leaving not his stupidity. After all these years of being under him, Kougaiji had never ceased to amaze him.

"I don't have a choice." Dokugakuji answered back gruffly. "You didn't hear the way Hakkai shouted when he was on the edge, or the way Sanzo stared that could freeze the fire itself. I was outnumbered-"

"Tell me something Dokugakuji." Kougaiji said suddenly, cutting of his closest friend's hesitant defensive mutterings. Dokugakuji ceased immediately and looked up at Kougaiji.

But Kougaiji lowered himself to eye-level with Dokugakuji, kneeling. Even in this humbling position, Kougaiji still looked proud as a prince should have. The red eyes that were looking at him reminded the dark-haired demon of his younger half-brother; lately everything almost did remind him. It told him just how deep his guilt ran these days.

With his eyes locked Dokugakuji's attention to him, Kougaiji posed a question that had been swirling in his mind ever since he heard Dokugakuji's choice to do nothing rather than argue with his decision to stay out of the fight the day Gojyo first transformed into full-blooded demon.

"What is it about Gojyo that makes you tend to get up and leave whenever he was at his most vulnerable state?"

Dokugakuji knew what exactly Kougaiji was asking. As if he wanted Kougaiji to torture him more, he asked, "What do you mean?" His voice sounded low, guilty.

Kougaiji took his time, contemplating his next words, knowing how those would hurt Dokugakuji. "I'm talking about the time when you killed your own mother to protect him. I'm talking about the time you'd rather follow me and do nothing when he turned into a full-blooded demon. I'm also talking about the time you just left without waiting for him to wake up…"

Dokugakuji shifted his position uncomfortably. He kind of aware of that… But to hear being saying out aloud was another thing.

"I don't know…"

Kougaiji just sighed quietly. He stood up and put out his hand, silently offering to help Dokugakuji to stand up. When they were at eye-to-eye level, Kougaiji spoke up. "Somehow, I knew you will say something like that."

Dokugakuji just stared back at his prince.

"That you don't know the real reason you kept on running away." Kougaiji walked slowly out of the shadow and from his stance, Dokugakuji knew Kougaiji wanted him to follow him whether the dark-haired demon wanted or not.

And he did.

"I don't know the answer either." Kougaiji continued. "But I do know is that you cannot keep on running away. One day Gojyo will realize your actions, if he hasn't figured out yet, and that is the time he will be very… how should I say this… unforgiving."

"Kou…"

"Gojyo blames himself for everything. You say so yourself." Kougaiji reminded his wordless companion. "Every time you leave, he blames himself for driving you away. But that undeserved guilt will, in time, turn into hard-shell hatred. He doesn't know the reason you leave at time he needs you the most and all those confusion will be something that you cannot even repair."

"Damn it, Kou…" Dokugakuji whispered but the words were for him. "You think I don't know that? Every time I leave him and then meet him again, I dread what his reaction would be; whether he will still smile like he always does or he will just tear me apart with his weapon. I wanted to have any reason for everything I did so I can tell him that… so I can tell myself that!"

Kougaiji looked back at Dokugakuji. They has stopped walking; instead they remained motionless, looking at each other. His prince's silence and calmness comforted Dokugakuji more than his quiet brood that he had been doing for the past two days. If any, the brood made him more miserable.

"Maybe he doesn't want any excuse or reason. Haven't it occurred to you that Gojyo might not need anything from you other than for you to be there when he needs it? It doesn'talways have to be complicated."

Dokugakuji closed his eyes. From when Gojyo was a little boy, still confused from all the hatred the town gave him, Gojyo had never needed any reason from him for being the only one that loved him. Gojyo took whatever what was given to him to heart, even a love from an older brother that was shared with a mother who had never loved him. His younger brother was so young then to know how dangerous it was.

And Dokugakuji knew Kougaiji was right. About Gojyo not wanting any reason because if Gojyo ever wanted one, he would ask him the day they met after so many years apart. But Gojyo didn't and just smiled that smirk.

Gojyo didn't want a reason because he had never blamed his older brother.

"Gojyo didn't condemn me, he never did." Dokugakuji spoke up slowly. "But I need Gojyo's anger as a punishment for my guilt. I guess I thought his anger can ease my guilt to him that somehow I deserve to be hated by him. But Gojyo didn't and my guilt runs deeper still and it keeps going on until I don't know anymore…"

Kougaiji reached out his hand to squeeze hard Dokugakuji's shoulder. "Talk to him. Go and see him."

"I suppose I have put this off long enough…" Dokugakuji sighed after a few moments of silence.

And the dark-haired demon smiled with soundless gratitude to his prince and Kougaiji smiled softly back. Then, Dokugakuji turned around to walk away, wanting to find his brother as fast as he could.

Gojyo might not blame him for anything, but Dokugakuji had years-old guilt demanded to be assuaged.