"Welcome to the first ever episode of 'Turk TV', the new show from the director and producer of shows such as 'Turk Olympics', 'The After-party' and other blockbusting hits." An over enthusiastic voice drones on through a microphone.
"Over the next few episodes, we will join the two Turks, Reno and Rude, in their daily lives, to find out what Shinra's Department of Administrative Research, more commonly known as the Turks, actually do, and wether or not it's worth your tax money." The voice comes again.
The picture changes from a cartoony Shinra logo, to the two Turks in question, Reno's walking backward and forward, his hand is shaking while he smokes a cigarette, on the floor under him, lies a couple hundred cigarette ends, next to him stands Rude, there's a ladder in front of him, and a cat with a cape and crown is on it, patting a fluffy thing on the Turks face, while he clenches his fist open and closed.
"Yo! I can't believe Tseng's making us do this bloody thing! As soon as it's done, me and Betty are gonna make an-" The red head is cut of from his rant as the cat with a cape and crown, better known as Cait Sith, jumps from the ladder and lands on his shoulder and begins to smack Reno's face with the fluffy thing.
"Somebody's had too much coffee!" The robotic cat shouts excitedly as he pats Reno's face, but of coarse, with Reno smoking, and the amount of make-up on the fluffy thing, it catches fire, which in turn, caused Cait's fake fur to go up too, the little cat jumped from Reno and onto the floor and begins running around the two Turks legs, while screaming:
"I'm on fire! I'm on fire! I'm on fire!" Over and over again, Rude begins to chase it.
"Stand still so I can put you out!" He shouts, the cat complies and Rude is forced to stop his chase, but, because of the speed he was traveling at, the sudden stop, and the flaming Cait Sith hitting his knee, he falls over heavily.
Rude jumps back up a second later, and begins to stomp on the little cat.
"Ow! What - Aw! - Are you - Ow! Doing!" Cait manages to shout.
"Putting the fire out! Reno, help me!" The bald man shouts, his red headed friend grins, and the two Turks begin to stomp on the robotic cat, the fire goes out almost immediately, but the Turks, having too much fun continue to stomp, until somebody clears their throat.
"Um, guys, the cameras running..." The camera man says, whose name happens to be Billy Bob Bobbins' the second, but everybody just calls him Bob... Bob the Camera Man...
"What!" They both shout, they look at each other, then back to the Camera, they look back at each other again, noticing the clown makeup that Cait Sith had plastered to their faces, and shudder, before Reno continues.
"Yo, you better cut this bit out man!"
"Um... Thats a problem... We're going out live..."
The camera drops to the floor suddenly, and a loud war cry sounding something like "Uoryaaa!" rings out, followed by a scream and: "Wait it's not my- OW! My arm doesn't bend that way!"
The screen turns blank for a second, and a picture of a Chocobo whacking it's head on a wall came up, with the words;
'We're having technical difficulties, please bare with us, ShinRa'
----
The picture comes back a second later and there's three guys and a broken robotic cat, sat at a table, playing cards.
The tension is so thick, it could be cut with a chain-saw, there's a large pile of money in the center of the table.
The picture shifts from of a close up of Rude, who turns his head to Reno, who in turn, looks toward a brown haired, spotty teenager, who turns to look a still smoking, and almost completely destroyed robot, who looks alot like Cait Sith, only without the fur.
Suddenly, the robotic cat shouts out; "I like pie!" and falls backward, onto the floor. The three men look to each other with confused glances, and as one, they shrug, and look back at their cards.
"Reno... Got any fives?" Bob the camera man asks, and looks at the red head, who's lip twitches, and replies:
"Go fish..."
"Reno... Got any Queens?" Rude asks.
Reno growls, and throws down his cards.
"Dammit, I had seven of the fu-"
He's cut of as a voice shouts out. "Seven! Reno, there should only be four of them in a deck!"
The red head laughs nervously. "Erm... You see... When a mummy card, and a daddy card love each other very much... Bye!" There's a blur and the Turk is gone.
"Screw this, I'm going back to my job." Bob the camera man says, and turns back to his camera. "Well would you look at that! It turned itself on, heh, maybe it's possessed?"
Just then, exorcist music starts playing, and another blur flashes across, the screen. "Possessed? Take dis foo'!" The blur says, and a gunshot rings out, the picture goes of, but the sound remains.
"Dammit Dr. Barett! Are you gonna pop up when ever somebody says possessed?" The deep voice of Rude sounds out.
"Yeah, what off it foo'?"
"Well... It gets annoying..."
"Dr. Barett away!" There's a whooshing noise, and a loud sigh.
"I need a drink." Rude's voice says, there's footsteps, and Bob the camera man sighs...
"Um... I don't know if anybody can hear me... But thats a wrap for today... Join us next time..."
The fuzzy picture and sound end and Cait Sith appears on the screen.
"Well as you can see, we're having technical difficulties... So be sure to tune in next time, which we're going to pre-record..." A deep voice comes out of the little cats mouth, followed by "I like pie!" In it's normal one.
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A/N: Short. Not my best work, defiantly not compared to some of my other recent stories, but inspiration struck while I was reading a Fic about Cid getting his own TV show, and I needed to write it down.
I'm planning a series out of this, and I needed to start somewhere, still, be sure to review.
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