Where Has My Heart Gone?

"FIRE THE ODD NUMBERED CATAPULTS! WHILE THEY'RE RELOADING, FIRE THE EVEN!" Brenda yelled, unsheathing her sword and pointing it forward as she gave out commands while she stood out on deck. Raymond ran up to her, panting.

"Admiral! The pirates have sent boats out to board our ship!" Brenda felt her eyes widening

"WHAT!" She roared, startling her commander. Spinning around, the admiral shouted out more orders. "GET READY FOR A FIGHT! IF THESE FOOLS BOARD OUT SHIP, CUT THEIR THROATS!" A dangerous glint was in her eyes as she narrowed them with a cruel sadistic smirk. "If they wanted to die this badly, all they had to do was ask."

- - - - -

Zuko ran down the iron hallways of his ship with Katara at his heels. The ship moaned as it was jerked to the side by a large wave. The two stumbled but quickly regained their balance. Finally, after what seemed like a few hours of running, Zuko burst threw the door and stepped out on deck. Running towards the first soldier he saw, Zuko paid no mind to the Avatar or Katara's brother.

"What's going on?" The soldier turned, his mask down on his helmet.

"Pirates sir!" Came the muffled reply. Zuko nodded and started to bark out orders.

"Brenda's ship has been taking the hits and dealing the blows in this battle." Zuko turned to face Iroh.

"We can't let her take all the glory." The young prince smirked before returning to giving out orders.

- - - -

Brenda clenched her teeth and snarled. While it was true that she had known that the pirates were going to try and board her ship, she had no idea that they would be able to do it so quickly. Her sword clashed with the pirate captain's sword. The Black Rose of the West lifted her foot and kicked the man's chest, knocking him back.

"FOR THE GLORY OF BATTLE!" She roared as she sent a blast of fire towards the captain, making him roll to the side in order to avoid the fire. However, from his sloppy roll to the side and the time it took for him to be back on his feet, the admiral easily saw that the man had no proper training. She sped forward and blocked his sword with the bracer on her forearm. The female firebender shoved her own sword forward, into the man's stomach. She yanked it back out and watched as the man coughed up blood and fell to the ground, dead. She turned and was about to run off to fight with another when a large wave rose up out of the ocean and knocked the soldiers and pirates down onto the deck.

"ENOUGH!" Aang yelled as he landed on the deck of the Phantom Flame. Spying the dead captain, Aang looked away. "Who's in charge now?" A burly man stepped forward.

"With the captain dead," He jerked his head in the direction of the dead pirate. "I'm now in charge." Aang looked at the man, straight in the eyes.

"Why are you attacking us?"

"Fire Nation scum! That's why!" He narrowed his eyes. "Wait a second . . . airbender tattoos! You're the Avatar!" Aang nodded. The man crossed his arms across his bare chest. "Why you fightin' with the Fire Nation?" Brenda turned her cold, calculating eyes towards the man and was about to answer when an all too familiar voice beat her to it.

"Because we have left the Fire Nation. A civil war is brewing, and I am the one who's causing it." Brenda did not look back at her nephew as he stepped onto her ship. However, Aang did. Zuko paused momentarily to help Katara step on board. Turning back to the pirates, Zuko continued. "The war isn't good for the Fire Nation. Our population lowers by the day with the men are constantly gone off to war and dying. Our supplies is scattered, making everyone tighten their belts. And many other things. So I am starting a civil war. Once the Avatar has mastered all the elements, I will take him to the capital over Ozai." The man was silent for a moment, contemplating what Zuko had said.

". . . . what's yer name?" It wasn't a demand. It was a gruff question, one that startled Zuko slightly because he thought almost everyone would recognize him by his scar, yet he did not show it.

"I am Prince Zuko."

- - - - -

Ceres nearly growled as several maids came into her room along with Zhao.

"Lady Lilith, the Fire Lord has agreed to met with you. Once he heard that a noble lady such as yourself had been stranded at sea and had finally come home, he thought that you should be treated quite well. The meeting between the two of you once he has free time. Unfortunately that will probably take a month or so." Ceres turned her blazing eyes towards the man.

"Zhao," She hissed. "who are these people!" She jerked her head in the direction of the maids as they sorted through her clothes. They had been at the Fire Nation capital for less than a day. The entire time she and her belongings were shuffled from room to room. The entire time the only answer Ceres had to her question of what was happening was that Admiral Zhao was taking care of matters for her. Now these strange people were going through her clothes. Enough already!

"Why, they're maids Lady Lilith. They are here to help make sure you are properly attired. After all, being stuck out at sea for so long and then having limited options, why, of course you need someone to make sure you wear the proper clothes to see the Fire Lord." Ceres glowered at him and turned her back to the admiral.

"You just said that was probably more than a month away!"

"Yes, but this is the Fire Lord." Zhao countered.

"You try my nerves, Admiral Zhao." She huffed and looked over her shoulder to send him a pointed glare. "Get out." She hissed, making the admiral glare at her before giving her a short bow and left.

"Madam," Ceres looked towards the maid with icy eyes. "It appears as though you don't have the correct clothes." The demon raised an elegant eyebrow.

"And?" The maids smiled at the noble woman impostor.

"Well, you must go shopping of course." Giving out another huff, Ceres allowed the mortals to guide her to the vanity and change her clothing and hair so that she would be able to go shopping.

- - - - -

Zuko silently ate his lunch as Katara wrung her hands in her lap. Noticing this, Zuko put down his chop sticks and looked at Katara.

"What's wrong?"

". . . . I nervous." Her simple and obvious answer made Zuko chuckle.

"Well, I figured that. What are you nervous about? The pirates are gone. They've been gone for over two hours. More than likely they are going to spread the word about my starting a civil war." Katara shook her head. "That's not it?"

". . . . one of the things I'm nervous about is how you're going to get enough people to follow you." Zuko sighed as he reached forward to grab his cup of water.

"Aunt Brenda says that she's been planning this for awhile." When Katara sent him a confused look, he explained. "She's been gathering admirals, commanders, generals, and any other high ranking officer she can find. Apparently, they would all agree to revolt if I agreed to lead them." Zuko took a sip of water. "But most of them don't want to known. So she can't send a messenger bird in case it is intercepted. All that Brenda could get them to agree on is finding me once they decided to follow me. At least, that's how it was planned. So I suppose this was the best way to get the word out. Those who are loyal to me will hear about my starting a civil war and they'll find me." Katara nodded. She supposed that he was right.

"How many?" Zuko crossed his arms and looked up at the ceiling in thought.

"Well, she only said that there were enough. Never how many. But in order to do something like have a civil war and having a chance at winning . . . . a fourth of the Fire Nation or more." Zuko looked back at Katara. "But then there's the Water Tribes and the Earth Kingdom. My uncle and aunt seem to believe that they would join in the fight. I don't know it they would if it weren't for the Avatar being on our side. So it's more than likely that they'll join in."

"Oh." Katara looked down at her lap.

"What else?" Looking back up, surprised, Katara shot Zuko a confused look.

"What?"

"What else? You said that was one thing that was bothering you. What else is bothering you?" Katara looked away.

"It . . . . it's nothing."

"Tell me." Katara shook her head.

"It's nothing. Drop it." Zuko narrowed his eyes, his temper flaring.

"Tell me." He hissed and slammed his fist down on the table. Katara crossed her arms and glared at him.

"No! I'm my own person and you can't order me around!"

"Goddammit!" Zuko snapped as he stood up, glaring at Katara. "Tell me what's wrong!"

"NO I WILL NOT!" Katara stood up. A sigh caused the two to look over at the door, seeing Brenda staring lazily at the two. She stroked her braid, a common habit she had, as Katara had noticed after a short while.

"What do you want!" Zuko demanded of his aunt, causing the woman to revert of one of her favored expressions; a smirk.

"Temper, temper my Prince." The admiral stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. She knelt down in front of the room as she removed her belt holding the sword and placed it beside her. Katara stared at the woman, surprised that she could be so calm with Zuko standing there, ready to blow up. She was even more surprised that this woman was in any way related to Zuko. She had yet to see the woman completely lose her temper like Zuko did all the time.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT BRENDA!" The Black Rose of the West smirked as she sipped her tea.

"I'm surprised that Katara even bothers with you, Prince Zuko. You constantly lose your temper." She looked up at Zuko. "You act before you think. Isn't that scar enough to discourage you from doing so?" Zuko clenched his hands into fist, his knuckles turning white as he shook with rage.

"Get off my ship." He hissed quietly as he barely contained his temper. Brenda lifted her hand up and twisted the dragon ring on her around her finger.

"Your mother gave this to me." Zuko momentarily forgot his anger at the mention of his late mother. However, it was only for a moment.

"Get off my ship!" He roared, his temper rising once more as Brenda stood and pulled back on the belt and sword. Before she turned to leave Brenda held up her hand with the ring on it and her fingers spread out.

"Your mother wanted me to wear this when I decided to follow you Zuko. She believed that you would be a great leader. Don't let your temper crush one of the last things that linger from you mother." With that said, Brenda turned, her cape flaring out behind her, and left, closing the door behind her. Zuko glared after her. Katara reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Zu-"

"Don't." He cut her off while he jerked his shoulder out of her grasp, his anger still boiling beneath the surface. "Just don't."

"Why do you shut me out!" Katara yelled. Zuko spun around grabbed her shoulders.

"Why won't you just leave me be!"

"Because I love you!" Katara gasped and clasped her hands over her mother while Zuko's eyes widened and he let her go. The prince took a step back, surprised.

"No." He whispered quietly as he shook his head. Katara looked at him, also surprised. But for a different reason. She was surprised that he was deny her. That he would back away in horror after all the time they spent together. "NO!" Katara watched and he grabbed a cup and threw it at the wall, causing it to shatter. "You're a fool!" He yelled as he cleared the table of all its food and plates in one swipe. "Look at me!" He grabbed the edge of the table and threw it on its side before storming up to Katara and grabbing her upper arms and held her tightly. "Look at me!" He yelled.

"I am looking at you." Katara whispered quietly.

"All I am is a hideous monster! Something not even a mother could love!" Tears began to well up in Katara's eyes. "Don't you get it!" He shook her once more, his grip would leave bruises on her arms.

"Zuko . . ." The tears began to make their way down her face.

"I've been avoiding mirrors for two god damn years!" He shouted.

". . . . please . . . ."

"I'm a monster Katara! A monster!"

". . . . Zuko . . . ."

"My own mother would hate me if she was still alive!"

". . . ." The silent tears crawled down her cheeks.

"I'm hideous! Inside and out!" She refused to tell him that he was hurting her. It would only give him more ammunition against himself.

". . . . I love you, Zuko."

"STOP IT!" He shook her as he yelled. "STOP SAYING THAT!"

"Why won't you believe me?" She asked quietly, her voice almost breaking.

"WHY DO YOU LIE!" He roared and shoved her to the ground. Katara fell to the ground but held her upper body up with her elbows.

"Zuko, I love you." She whispered and watched as Zuko's hands began to smoke.

"NO YOU DON'T!" Zuko turned to go to the door but Katara shot up and grabbed onto him, wrapping her arms around him.

"Don't go! I love you Zuko!" Zuko ripped himself out of her grasp and threw open the door as Katara sank to the ground, tears running freely. The young prince only paused as he spoke to her, never turning back.

"You take pity on a monster. You're mistaken. I . . . . I am too hideous to love." Having said that, Zuko left and began to make his way to his mediation room. He didn't notice Aang standing only a few feet from the door. The avatar ran into the room when he heard Katara start to weep.

"Katara!" Katara looked up at Aang, tears blurring her vision. "Are you alright?"

"He hates me, Aang!" She threw herself into her friend's arms. Aang, startled that the levelheaded Katara he knew was crying, did the only thing that he could do.

"It will be alright, Katara." Katara shook as she cried.

"Why! Why won't he believe me?"

"I . . . I don't know, Katara."

- - - - -

Wow! So Katara finally admitted that she loves Zuko! Yay! Please review and tell me what you think!