"Ah, it's good to be back in Midgar!" An over enthusiastic red head said, as he jumped from a landing helicopter, of coarse, with the noise of the spinning blades, nobody actually heard him.
Rude stepped out second, rubbing his temples, as though it would stop his forming headache, followed by Tseng, who was helping out an over-talkative Elena. And a motion sick Bob.
The Leader and Rookie had been talking all the way from Icicle, and the blatant flirting Elena had been using was sickening... True, she wasn't exactly a Supermodel, but she wasn't that bad either...
Regardless though, Rude didn't want to be around to witness more of a schoolgirl crush unfold, he was jet lagged, tired, sweaty and he had a date in two hours time... So he did what any normal man would do, given his situation, he ditched work, left his phone on his desk and sneaked out through the stairway, he noted how easy it was to get in and out of the building, without being noticed... Maybe he should say something to Tseng about it...
Later... He thought to himself, as he walked out of the building, and towards his apartment, to shower and get ready for his date.
----
Meanwhile, in the Turks office, Reno was stood in front of an old cupboard, looking through the few boxes it contained, he spun on his heel suddenly, a metal stick, with a spiked ball on the end in his hand.
"Yo, how about this? See it's got spikes, so it's not really girly, I guess you could paint it pink or something..." He thrust it toward to ex-crazy cat lady with a big smile. "Here, try it out!"
The blond carefully held out her hand, and took a hold of it, but as soon as Reno let go, the weight of it surprised her, and she toppled over.
Reno sighed loudly, and picked the weapon up with ease. He threw it over his shoulder quickly, and there was a loud crash as it smashed through the window, fell for sixty floors, and hit Vice President Rufus' brand new Ferrari.
This was getting annoying now, that was the fourth weapon he had given her.
The first one was a shotgun, when she tried to fire it, she was thrown backward by the force of the recoil.
The second was a Chain-saw, mainly aimed as a joke, but she tried it anyway... And ended up destroying Rude's office... The bald guy wasn't in, so Reno figured he could replace all those one of a kind memorabilia he had from his childhood, before he got back.
The third was a strange contraption, that looked vaguely like a giant fan, with mousetraps stuck on, spray-painted red, he figured it was from that time he had put super-glue in a water gun, and had declared war against Rude... The whole forty fifth floor had been taken out, as the two Turks had fought... The red head remembered he hadn't been able to use his hands for a month, from that time on, he promised himself that he would never use super-glue again... Except to put on toilet seats, in the restrooms...
Reno sighed again, and turned back to the closet, he looked through another box, and found something that she might be able to use, he was about to pick it up, before Elena interrupted him.
"Hey, Reno, why can't I have one of these?" The rookie asked, Reno turned around to see what she was talking about, and noticed she was holding his most prized possession, Betty... Betty the Mag Rod...
"Because your just a rookie, your not qualified to use that, now give it back!" Reno said through gritted teeth, as he made a move to get it.
"You want it?" Elena asked as she spun the stick in her hand, and took a step backwards.
"Yeah! Give it me, yo!" Reno shouted as he took another step forward.
"Heh, you really want it?" Elena asked with a cocky grin.
"Give it back you little brat!" Reno shouted, as he stared at the weapon, like a junkie would do to his last serving.
"Come and get it, bastard!" Elena retorted and spun the weapon around in her hand again, to taunt him.
"Tough words Barbie girl, you'll- Wait! Don't touch-! OUCH!" You could pretty much guess what had happened.
"Hehe." Elena laughed. "You said you wanted it." She did her own little victory dance, and was halfway through it, before a voice interrupted her.
"Elena, I'd appreciate it, if you stopped hurting my Turks..." Tseng said as he walked into the office, Elena bowed her head, to avoid showing her flushed face, and a gave a standard 'yes, sir'.
Tseng walked over to them, and nudged Reno with his foot. The red head replied with an "Ow..." before his head collapsed to the floor.
The Turk leader sighed, and walked away, into Rude's office, he walked out a second later, with an eyebrow raised.
"Elena... Why is there a wall missing from Rude's office? And why is all of his stuff in shredded pieces...?"
Elena took a deep breath, unsure on whether or not to tell the truth... "I..." She started, luckily for her, or more for the fact that the author wants her alive, Tseng's phone went off.
"Hold on a second..." The raven haired Turk said, as he fished out his phone and answered the call...
"Tseng here... Yes Rufus... No sir, I don't know why there's a mace embedded in your new car... No sir, I don't know why it has a 'Turk property' sign on it... Yes sir, I'll be there in a minute..."
Tseng looked to the shattered window, he walked over to it and looked out, to see the Vice President, sixty floors down, examining a mace, and his Ferrari.
"Was Reno trying to find you a weapon?" The man asked as he looked to Elena.
The fuzzy blond nodded from her bowed position.
"Hn... Tell him I wish to talk to him... When he wakes up..." Tseng said to her, and left the room.
Elena stood there for a couple of minutes, before a voice broke the silence.
"Do you think he's gone?" It came in a whispered tone.
"Who?" Elena whispered back.
"The pope! Christ, who else has been in here in the last five minutes, did I miss a party or something!" The whispered voice came again.
"Yeah, I think he's gone..."
"Good!" Reno's voice came from the ground, before she knew it, the red head was up on his feet, and had a hold of his prized Betty.
"What the-? How come your not-?" Elena was unsure of what to ask.
The red head pointed to his wrist, where a ball of lightning Materia was placed in a defense slot. "Yo, you don't actually think I'd let my own weapon hurt me, do you?" Reno asked.
Elena was at a loss for words, too much had happened to her today, so when Reno grabbed her hand, and started to drag her along, she didn't object, but only asked; "Where are we going?"
"It's your fault I'm in trouble... So we're going to hide until this thing blows over, I've got the perfect place, it'll be the last place they'll ever look!"
"Where?"
"Rude's Bathtub!"
----
"Sir, with all due respect... I'm not a TV star... I don't like cameras..."
"Well, tough look Tseng, one of your Turks did this to my car, and now your paying the price... Quick, Put these on!" Rufus said, and held out a pair of hot pants.
"Though your my superior, and your father owns Shinra, if you try to make me wear anything like that, I won't be hesitant to hurt you." Tseng replied, as he looked over the bright pink, short shorts.
The Turk leader allowed himself to shiver at the thought of himself in those... Things... Before Rufus' voice interrupted his thoughts.
"Okay, so the hot pants are out... What about these...?" The Vice President asked, as he held out some women's underwear. The look Tseng gave him could have killed a dragon. "Ok-ay... I'm gonna take that as a no..."
"Why can't I just wear this suit?"
"Because it's a rock show, man! Ozzy Osbourne is gonna be biting a rats head off live, and your gonna be stood next to him in a suit, it just totally defeats the purpose! This show is to stick it to the man, not advertise them!"
"Even though you and your father happen to be the man... Erm... Men..."
"Thats besides the point... Now, how are you with the whole gothic thing?"
"..."
----
"Reno, it's kinda cramped in here..." Elena whispered, as she tried to find a better position.
"Yeah, yeah, a little quieter Barbie." Reno replied, as he too shifted. "Shit." His voice came.
"What?"
"It's stuck."
"What's stuck?"
"My rod, it's stuck, I can't move it."
"Reno, there's nothing for it to get stuck on, just slowly take it out, and put it somewhere else, your such a klutz..."
"Yo, it's not as easy as that, I can't move it at all..."
"Maybe it's just too big, can't you make it shrink?"
"I could if I could reach it, Barbie... As much as I hate to ask... could you just give me a hand... Yeah, thats it, give it a good yank..."
Elena did just as she was told, and took a hold of the rod, she pulled, pushed and twisted it, until she finally managed to move it. Reno let out a little chuckle, as he finally had a hold of his most prized possession...
"Ah, Betty, your finally with me!" He kissed the mag rod and smiled brightly, before he turned back to the grill in front of him. "Thats odd..."
"What now?" Elena asked, as she moved further along the vent shaft, she lied beside Reno and glanced through the grill.
"Rude's singing..." The red head said, as he watched the bald man do a little spin, and sing into his toothbrush. "He never sings."
"Reno, you ever think that maybe you know too much about Rude?"
"Yeah, what's your point? Are you saying I shouldn't spy on my best friend? That I should just sit by and let him get on with his life? That I shouldn't check all the messages on his voice mail? That I-" Reno's little rant was cut of as Elena kicked him.
"Shh! He'll hear us!"
At the bang of Elena's foot, Rude looked up and toward the vent, wondering what the banging could be, he figured it was that old woman, which smelled like fish, in the apartment above his.
For some reason, she had always hated Rude's singing, which was one of the main reasons he didn't sing, but today he was happy, and he felt like singing, although, feeling a little guilty for the old fish smelling lady, he stuck his toothbrush into his mouth and began to hum instead.
The bald man soon finished his brushing and spat the liquid into the sink, he glanced up into the mirror.
"Looking sharp, Rude." He said, then placed his sunglasses back on, and walked into the living room.
Reno and Elena meanwhile, looked to each other.
"Why was he singing?"
"The last time I saw him singing, he was going out on a date later... So that must mean..."
"He's not as big a dork as you?"
"Yes! Wait, what? Dork? Who you calling a dork Barbie!"
The two Turks gave each other a death stare, and, as one, decided on not killing the other... At least until Rude wasn't there... And they weren't in a very tight vent...
"I'm not gonna kill you, because Rude'll make me pay to clean your brains from his toilet..."
"And I'm not gonna kill you because I don't want to make a bad impression..."
"So attacking him over a cat, almost shooting him, and flirting with our boss for the seven hour flight back in front of Rude, is not making a bad impression?"
"... What are we gonna do now?"
Cueball's Notes Begin:
I did want to write a longer chapter... But this chapter has been in the making for a week or two... Or three... Regardless though, I decided to just end it here, so I've got more options for the next chapter, and to let you guys know I'm not dead yet...
Erm, what to say about this chapter? Not alot really, just a filler, working up to Avalanches first attack.
Rude's mystery date, Hn, I didn't really think it through, which was one of the ways I wanted to cut this chapter short, original character, or an in-game one? I've got a good idea for an original, never before done pairing. But your opinions and or guesses would be nice.
I did say this was gonna be a Tseng chapter, but well, it just didn't work out... He will get one though... Just not anytime soon...
I have to say I really like the fics, were Reno and Elena fight all the time, but for this, I wanted them to work together, but with a little arguing... The idea for the weapon searching came from the fact that I didn't have a clue what weapon she uses in the game, I do now mind, but while I was playing, I felt bad for the Turks, so I skipped the last fight... And if you get any dirty thoughts about the little vent scene, it was intentional to an extent, but only meant as a joke, don't take offense.
Reviews:
zephyree: Thanks alot for your nice comment, it brings a smile to my face :-)
Nyviay and Cyraxis: Hopefully this chapter made up for the lack of Renoness... Er... Randomness... Last time... I don't really have a clue about how Turks are actually chosen, but judging from Before Crisis, they tend to just get hired like a normal job... Elena sending of a application didn't really seem all that funny, so I twisted it a little... Sorry about the lack of Tseng this time, like I said a couple paragraphs upward, there will be one, eventually... Lack of internet Suxx0rs, but I can cope, thanks to my new PSP... Anyway, Cyraxis, sucks that Nyviay hasn't played the game. You should force her to play it, by penalty of death, either that, or just get her to read the games transcript, you can find it on Game FAQs, it's a big help when your writing story related... Stories... Dr. Barett WILL be in next time, where he'll be forced to make a choice...
Nando: Hn, maybe... I dunno though, gun fights tend to be short, and/or boring. But anyway, if you ever get stuck in a rut, just add ninjas, water and viola, instant plot!
Next chapter:
Dr. Barett has a hard choice to make, Elena and Reno hide behind bushes and get to know each other, while Tseng goes goth, and Rude... Well... You'll just have to see...