Calleigh walked into the crime lab slowly. She didn't go see Horatio like she was supposed to yesterday and she knew she'd get the third degree today.

"Hey Calleigh."

Calleigh smiled slightly. "Hi Ryan."

"We missed you around here yesterday. Where were you?"

"Oh, I just had some business to take care off."

Ryan nodded. "Ok well I have to take this to DNA see ya later." Calleigh nodded and watched Ryan walk away. She sighed and went to Horatio's office before he found her.

Calleigh took a deep breath before knocking. "Come in."

Calleigh put on a warm smile and walked in. Horatio sighed and sat his pen down. "Have a seat." Calleigh nodded and sat down.

Horatio looked down at his desk and then back up at Calleigh with sad eyes. "How worried should I be about you?"

Calleigh shook her head. "I don't understand."

Horatio looked at Calleigh concern and worry written all over his face. "Calleigh everyone deals with grief-"

"Horatio-"

"Let me finish." Calleigh nodded. "Everyone deals with their grief in there own way. I spend time with Yelina and Ray jr. Alexx has her kids and her husband...Eric has his sisters. What do you have Calleigh."

Calleigh starred at Horatio unable to talk for a second. "I...I have my cat. And Tim's dog." She knew it sounded stupid but it was all she could think of.

"Calleigh look...I know you were Tim's best friend."

"Oh so your calling him Tim know? I thought it was always Speed with you."

Horatio sighed. "That's what I'm talking about Calleigh...your lashing out at people...Frank told-"

"What did Frank tell you?"

"I don't really think that's important. The fact is Calleigh that you need help. I want you to go to your therapy session."

"So I can what Horatio?" started Calleigh tears starting to form in her eyes. "So I can sit there and tell some licensed doctor my problems and have them charge 500 bucks every half hour. I don't think so."

"Well then talk to me...or Eric...or Alexx. Calleigh were all going through the same thing you are."

Calleigh shook her head and stood up. "No your not."

"Calleigh?"

Calleigh shook her head and went for the door. "If you'll excuse me I have ballistics to finish running."

Horatio sighed and dropped his head into his hands. Tim stood over by Horatio's book shelf looking at the door Calleigh had just left out of. Horatio sighed once again and leaned back in his chair. Tim took a few steps over and sat on the edge of Horatio's desk.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore Speed." TIm cocked his head to the side and looked at Horatio. "I've lost control of all of them. Calleigh's a mess. Eric's distant. And I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore."

"H, there was nothing you could have done."

"The thing I don't get is you saw it before I did. You had more time. Why...why did you die and not me? I just I just don't understand."

Tim sighed wishing he could reach out to him. To comfort him. Horatio knew that Tim couldn't hear him, well actually he could but Horatio didn't know that. "I just wish I could have a second chance. I would have went to the store by myself. Left you at the lab." Horatio sighed and hung his head he didn't lift it up again until he felt his cell phone vibrate on his hip.

"Caine."

"Horatio its Frank we have a case that we thought you should handle."

"What is it Frank?"

"Its an officer involved shooting."

"Why...uh...why do you want us to handle it?"

"I.A.B. wants you to."

"So you mean Stetler?"

"Yeah...if your team has any doubts about doing there jobs right. You better straighten them out right now. If they slip up-"

"Stetler's going ot let them have it."

"He doesn't see this as a case. He see's this is a test."

"Mmmhmm...we'll be right there Frank."

Horatio hung up his phone and grabbed his gun and reattached it to his hip. He looked around his office and headed for the door. Tim looked at Horatio's death and smiled. "Don't forget your glasses H."

Horatio went for the door knob but stopped and walked back over to his desk. He smirked and walked out of the room.

S/C S/C SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM S/C S/C

Calleigh sighed as she walked into autopsy. Calleigh saw Alexx starring down at the body. "You ok Alexx?"

Alexx snapped her head up. "I'm fine baby." Alexx smiled lightly and stroked the cop's cheek. "But he's not. Poor thing didn't even see it comin."

Calleigh smiled lightly and walked further into the room.

"Its to soon for another cop to be on my table. To soon."

Calleigh nodded and took a deep breath before continuing. "Can you tell me COD?"

Alexx nodded. "One gunshot wound to the leg-"

"Is that what killed him?"

"No...it was the gunshot wound to the head?"

"To the head? At the crime scene there was only blood around his stomach."

Alexx nodded and lifted back the thin white sheet that covered him. "He has double levitity. He was shot in the leg...stomach...then the head." Alexx smiled again and stroked his hair. "This baby put up one hell of a fight."

Calleigh nodded. "So we have a second crime scene." Alexx nodded.

"Have you seen Horatio?" asked Alexx. "I'm a little worried about him."

Calleigh nodded. "He's talking to officer Bryan's wife."

Alexx sighed and shook her head. "When's it going to be enough?"

Calleigh shrugged. "I dunno Alexx. But i'm getting tired of going to funerals...look can I uh...have those bullets please?"

Alexx nodded and handed Calleigh 3 small evidence bags. Calleigh smiled. "If you need me I'll be in fire arms."

S/C S/C SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM S/C S/C

Calleigh closed her eyes tightly as she raised officer Bryan's gun for a test fire. Calleigh took a deep breath and fired.

FLASHBACK----

Calleigh wiped away tears as she raised Tim's gun. Afraid of what would come next. Calleigh slowly moved her finger to the trigger and fired. Nothing. Calleigh sighed and squeezed the trigger again. And again and again. But nothing happend. Calleigh let a few tears fall and took of the slide of the gun. Calleigh turned on her flashlight and looked inside the gun. Calleigh shook her head.

"Why couldn't you have listened to me?"

PRESENT---

Calleigh sighed and signed her report. She sat her pen down and was off in search for Horatio.

S/C S/C SHOULD HAVE TOLD HM S/C S/C

"Horatio?"

"Yeah."

"I finished analyzing officer Bryan's report."

"And?"

"It was clean. No shots were fired. My guess is that he didn't even see the guy."

Horatio nodded. "Ok...um...thank you."

Calleigh nodded. "If you need anything else in the next hour you should probably call Ryan in."

Horatio gave Calleigh a confused look. "I've decided to go to the therapy session."

Horatio smiled lightly. "Good...just uh...let me know how it goes ok."

Calleigh nodded and walked down the hall. She didn't want to go. But she felt like she had to. For her, for him.

S/C S/C SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM S/C S/C

Calleigh sighed as she sat down on the couch. "Calleigh i understand that you don't want to be here."

Calleigh rolled her eyes. "Your right I really don't."

"Ok. Now that we got that point made why don't you tell me how you feel about Speedle's death."

Closed her eyes tightly and looked at the therapist. "I feel...hurt, sad, angry, betrayed."

"Why do you feel betrayed?"

"Tim was my best friend. Him and my boss, Horatio Caine were shot at once before. Tim couldn't get a shot off because his gun wasn't clean. He promised me he'd clean his gun. And he did for awhile. He cleaned it right in front of me. But for some reason he stopped."

"Tim was more then a friend to you wasn't he?"

Calleigh took in a shaky breath. "I loved him. I just don't know if he felt the same way."

Tim sighed. "I did Calleigh. I wanted to tell you everyday. But I...I was afraid."

"And that's why you feel betrayed?"

Calleigh nodded. "Its just all the what if's keep flashing in my head. What if I would have cleaned his gun for him. Taken it with me everyday after work and gave it back to him each morning. What if I never transfered to Miami. What if I would have told him how I felt about him verses just holding it in like an idiot."

"Calleigh you did nothing wrong."

Calleigh rolled her eyes. "You have no idea of how wrong I was."

"Calleigh-" Doctor Williams took a deep breath. "How have you been dealing with this?"

"Excuse me?"

"Alcohol? Drugs? Violence? Pain inflicted on yourself?"

Calleigh laughed. "I don't have to tell you anything."

"Your hurting yourself aren't you?"

"No!"

"LIft up your sleeves."

"What...no."

"Ms. Duquesne its over 100 degrees outside and your wearing long sleeves. Roll up your sleeves."

Calleigh took a deep breath and brought up her right sleeve. "Happy now?"

"How long have you been doing this to yourself?" Calleigh didn't answer. "How long Ms. Duquesne?"

"Since I was 15 ok. I stopped when I was 20. And I started back up a month ago."

TBC...Bad ending. But the action comes in the next chapter.