Dream: HIDEY-HO HAPPY HUMANS!
Winter: Eh...what's with the happy? ::narrows eyes:: and why aren't you in the hospital?
Dream: ::grins and raises arm above head:: I heal fast! ::frowns and scratches chin:: Though I can't say the same for Zero...the poor guy's been so unlucky recently! First he got hit by that train, then the monkeys attacked him, and then that piano fell on him!
Zero: ::hobbles over on crutches:: All of that was your fault! I got hit by the train pushing you out of the way, you're the one that released the monkeys, and you decided it would be a good idea to stand on the big white X that was conveniently placed under a hanging piano! I got hurt trying to save your life!
Winter: ::blink blink:: but...if you had let her die then...you'd be free...
Zero: ::eye twitch:: but that's heartless!
Winter: ::kitty snicker:: Could it be that Zero has a heart?
Dream: this seems awfully familiar... ::thinks:: ...HEY! A button! ::reaches out finger::
Winter and Zero: ::stop bickering to stare at Dream in horror:: NOOOOOOOOOO!
::beep::
Winter and Zero: ::blink blink::
Dream: ::pushes button repeatedly::
::KABOOM::
::static::
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Beware the spleen!:
"No seriously! There really are spleen monsters in the gutters! I saw them with my own ears!" Autumn slammed her hands on the table for emphasis.
Flash rolled her eyes, "As convincing as that statement is, I find it hard to believe that a spleen could live outside the human body let alone hold a weapon."
"Don't you mean...eyes...?" Their friend Serenity asked. She was a girl about Autumn's height with long blonde hair with black and red tips. Her ears were very pointed and had lots of piercings in them. She was wearing a black t-shirt and black pants that had straps in the back and an ever growing hole on one knee.
"That's what I said! Feet!" Autumn countered.
Kurama, who had been passing by the art rooms on the way to the bathroom, had stopped when he heard the unmistakable voice of his koibito (girlfriend). He walked into the classroom and pat Autumn's head, "There, there Autumn, I believe you."
"Yay! I knew you would Kura-kura-chan!" Autumn threw her arms around him and rubbed her head on his arm with a kitty grin.
Kurama blushed slightly as people stopped to stare at them, "Err...Autumn...? Perhaps you should try and act...human for a change?"
Flash put on big librarian glasses and took out a thick book. She flipped through the pages and coughed to get everyone's attention, "After forcing a group of scientists to conduct a series of complicated experiments so that I wouldn't have to move, I have concluded that it is physically impossible for Autumn to act human, normal, or in any way sane."
Serenity was standing there with about fifty sweat drops and a blank expression. Kurama laughed nervously as Autumn began to meow. Suddenly a sinister shadow fell over the small group. Serenity and Flash pointed behind Kurama. Kurama blinked and then turned around to come face to face with....AIR!
"Ahem, what are you doing in my class?" An evil voice asked from behind him.
He whirled around to come face to face with the art teacher. Her poofy reddish brown hair amplified her glare. Autumn squeaked and hid behind Kurama. She whispered to him, "You'd better run, Kura-kura-chan. You're looking into the eyes of Satan's minion of minion-y doom!"
"Young lady, what did I tell you about being disruptive?" The teacher, Mrs. Marino asked.
Autumn didn't respond. The teacher crossed her arms and tapped her foot, "Autumn."
"Autumn's not here. Go away." Autumn said, still hiding behind Kurama.
Serenity scratched her head, "But...if you said that then aren't you here...?"
"Shh, no I'm not. You're imagining things!" Autumn responded.
"But...!" Serenity protested.
Flash pat Serenity on the shoulder, "It's ok, it's ok."
Mrs. Marino glared at Kurama, "Where are you supposed to be young lady?"
Serenity started making siren sounds. Flash yelled, "CRAP! It's a code splurge! Duck for cover!"
The other students stared as Flash and Serenity dove under the table and cage bars fell over the openings. Kurama laughed nervously and took a step to the side, revealing a steaming Autumn. Flash and Serenity peered through the bars. They were clad in pots and pans for armor.
"Kurama is not a young lady! He's a he!" Autumn growled, putting her hand on his chest, "See? Flat chest, no boobage, nada!"
Yusuke and Autumn and Flash's friend Teresa appeared hanging upside down at the window, "I heard boobage!"
The two stared at each other for a minute, screamed and fell. Kurama was bright red, Autumn still had her hand on his chest, the students were snickering, Flash and Serenity had hockey masks on to protect their faces, and the teacher was standing there staring.
One boy, Brian, pointed at Kurama, "You homo, why the hell don't ya get a haircut?"
Flash slapped her forehead, "Oi, not this again."
"Now Autumn, calm down..." Kurama's efforts to calm the angered one proved to be futile as she grabbed the collar of Brian's shirt and dragged him to the paper cutter. She shoved him on it so that the big handle with the blade was above his neck.
"You insult Kura-chan! You must perish!" Autumn yelled.
Brian pissed his pants and started crying as Autumn grabbed the handle and started to lower it. Kurama ran over and scooped Autumn into his arms before she could finish, "AUTUMN!"
Autumn started hissing and scratching. Flash and Serenity, who had been cheering with big foam #1 hands, frowned, "Aw...we wanted to see blood!"
Kurama glared at them while he held the struggling Autumn, "You two should be more mature! You're a bad influence on Hato-chan (Dove-chan)!"
Flash blinked, "We're a bad influence on her?! She's the one that made me who I am today! She's my teacher of insanity!"
Autumn appeared next to Kurama, who was staring at his now empty arms. She was dressed as a Japanese sensei with a fake beard and mustache, her hair in a long braid, a dome hat, and an old man robe. Her hands were tucked in her sleeves and her eyes were squinted. She spoke in an old Japanese accent, "Ah yes, you are my very best student."
"But...I am your only student." Flash pointed out.
"That you are." Autumn nodded.
Kurama poked at the mustache on Autumn's face and, with a dying cough, it fell to the floor. Autumn glared at Kurama, "Y'know! It took me forever to hide enough money for that thing!"
Flash perked up, "You've been hiding money from me?!"
"Err...No! Of course not! Why in the world would I ever do that to such a short...average height person that's so violent and scary and violent?" Autumn laughed nervously.
Mrs. Marino came back into the room after having escorted Brian to the locker room so that he could change his now soiled pants. She clapped her hands to get everyone's attention, "Ok, first of all, Flash and Serenity, get out from under the table."
"Yes ma'am!" Flash and Serenity vacated their hiding place and sat down to pretend they were working on their shading projects.
Next, Mrs. Marino turned to Autumn. Autumn hopped out of her sensei outfit and onto Kurama's back so that her arms were around his neck and he was holding her legs to keep her up. Autumn squeaked, "Save me from the wrath of the evil one, Kura-kura-chan!"
"Hato-chan! You'll make me lose balance!" Kurama yelled as he steadied himself.
Mrs. Marino glared at Kurama. She raised her finger to give him a lecture but, just as she opened her mouth, the bell rang. Flash grabbed Autumn's books, "Let's go! I wanna leave!"
She and Serenity ran out the door, followed by Kurama who still had Autumn on his back. He jogged up the stairs to his science classroom. He laughed nervously as the teacher gave him a questioning look, "I'm sorry I took so long, I sort of ran into a bundle of trouble topped with a bow on my way to the bathroom..."
Autumn was innocently poking at the blue bow that appeared on her head. She pulled it off and started to gnaw on it. Kurama and the teacher sweat dropped. Kurama walked over and gathered his books while holding Autumn up with his other arm. After sticking his books in his locker, he left the school and met Flash, Serenity, Hiei, Yusuke, and Kuwabara twenty feet away from the school.
Autumn waved, "Hi everyone!"
"Gee Kurama, all this time you lied to us saying you were a fox when really you're a horse!" Yusuke snickered as he pointed at Autumn who was still riding on Kurama's back.
Kurama glared, "Ha ha, very funny."
Flash had been looking at random branches that were laying on the ground. She picked one up and bashed Yusuke on the head with it. Yusuke held his head in pain, "What the hell was that for?!"
"I was testing it out. It's not heavy enough and there aren't enough knobs." That said, Flash dropped the branch on the ground and went to find another.
Kuwabara scratched his chin, "You know, I think there's some sort of holiday coming up soon...Hell's day? Hamburger day? 47 day?"
"Halloween...?" Serenity suggested.
Kuwabara's response was cut short by Flash jumping out of the nearby tree and slamming a branch on his head. He immediately fell to the ground unconscious. Flash grinned and blew on the tip of the branch as if it were a gun, "This branch is just right."
Hiei smirked. Kurama coughed as if he was going to start a speech. Autumn tightened her grip around his neck, causing Kurama to choke. He spoke between gags, "Autumn...! Can't....breathe!"
Kurama passed out from lack of air. Autumn fell head first onto the ground after falling over his shoulders. She blinked a couple of times as she sat on the ground. Yusuke groaned and pointed at the unconscious Kurama, "Look what you did! He's the one that comes up with all the smart ideas!! What are we supposed to do now?"
"Rob a bank?" Flash suggested.
"Plant bombs in the school?" Serenity asked.
"Kill off the human race?" Hiei asked hopefully.
Yusuke shook his head, "Uh...no. As fun as that sounds, I don't want a Kurama speech."
"I know what to do!!!" Autumn yelled happily, throwing her fist in the air.
"Why am I afraid?" Hiei asked.
Serenity sweat dropped, "Because Autumn's ideas usually lead to trouble and/or embarrassment?"
"I still think my idea was a damn good one!" Flash crossed her arms and pouted.
Autumn took out a box and held it up proudly. The box started to shine and a chorus of angels was heard in the background. It wasn't an ordinary box...it was a box full of colorful Sharpie markers!! "We'll draw things on his face! IN PERMANENT MARKER!"
Flash and Serenity threw their arms in the air, "Woohoo!"
"That's not so bad." Hiei sighed in relief.
Yusuke grinned, "I like that idea."
Minutes later:
Kurama woke up and rubbed his head. He stared questioningly at his friends who were gathered around him snickering and hiding things behind their backs. He blinked, "Am I missing something?"
"No!" Yusuke said quickly, passing his Sharpie to Autumn.
Autumn put the Sharpies back in the box and hid it. She had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing as she looked at Kurama. One side of his face had ponies, rainbows, and cute things drawn on it. The other side had the words 'I feel pretty! Oh so Pretty! I feel pretty and witty and gaaay!' written on it. On his forehead were the words 'Caution: perverted animal contained within'.
Kurama tilted his head to the side, "Are you trying to hide something from me?"
"Of course not! Do these look the faces of people that would lie to you?" Flash asked as she, Yusuke, Serenity, and Autumn smiled innocently with a big halo over all their heads. The halo flickered before falling over them all, trapping them all together.
"YUSUKE! MOVE YOUR HANDS!" Flash and Autumn yelled together.
Hiei dropped Kuwabara's beaten and unconscious body and turned slowly to glare at Yusuke. Yusuke laughed nervously and looked from Hiei to Kurama. Kurama had plant vines coming out of his hair as he glared. The vines budded into cutesy little flowers. Hiei coughed. Kurama blinked and looked up, "Oh...Oops..."
The vines shrunk and were replaced by vines with mouths dripping acid. Serenity snickered, "The fearsome Youko Kurama attacking people with cute little flowers. Oh I'm so scared."
Kurama turned slowly to glare at Serenity. Autumn coughed, "Ahem, I believe you're supposed to be angered by Yusuke doing perverted things to me."
"Oh right." Kurama turned and glared at Yusuke.
Hiei sweat dropped and took out his sword, "You can beat him up for a while but make sure that I get to kill him."
"But I want to kill him!" Kurama protested.
"Gasp! Kurama wants to break the rules and kill someone?!" Flash asked.
Kurama rolled his eyes, "The plants need food!"
"You feed your plants human meat?" Yusuke asked.
"No! They catch it themselves!" Kurama protested. As an after thought he added, "I have no idea how they developed the taste buds for human meat...I swear..."
"Liar!" coughed Flash.
Kurama hissed at Flash. Autumn yelled, "Youko, SIT!"
"But I thought you wanted him to kill Yusuke..." Serenity pointed out.
"Oh yeah...Kill Yusuke, then sit!" Autumn corrected.
Youko frowned, "Why should I...?"
Yusuke started struggling to get free, causing his hands to move in um...bad ways...Autumn and Flash screamed, "YUSUKE!!!!!!!!! HENTAI!!!!!"
"I'm not doing it on –" Yusuke was interrupted by the hilt of Hiei's sword connecting with his head many times and a plant biting his arm.
At that moment a group of Elementary school kids that were taking a tour of the High School passed by. The teacher stopped them and pointed at the sports fields behind the crazy group. She cleared her throat, "And over there you'll see the High School's sports fields!"
"What are those people doing over there, teacher lady?" A little boy asked, pointing at Yusuke being attacked.
The teacher turned around, "Oh, those people are just killing each other."
"YES! Rip out their guts!!! I WANNA SEE SOME SPLEENS!" A little girl in a pink dress yelled.
The teacher fainted. The other students turned and stared at the little girl. She shrugged, "I play video games."
Yusuke was knocked over by the attacks, causing the girls to fall over as well since they were still attached by the halo. Youko and Hiei continued their assault on their victim. Autumn, Flash, and Serenity were yelling protests, "YOU IDIOTS! WE'RE STILL ATTACHED TO HIM!!! YUSUKE MOVE YOUR DAMN HANDS!"
"I CAN'T!! I think my spine's broken!!!" Yusuke yelled.
"What spine, you coward?!" Flash yelled back.
Youko went to stomp on Yusuke's head, missed, and wound up hitting Autumn instead. Autumn immediately gave her demon half control. Harmony growled, "YOUKO! You are so dead!!"
Youko whimpered and retreated. Harmony tried to stand up and chase him but was pulled down by the weight of the others. She started hissing and struggling. Youko smirked, walked over, did something annoyingly perverted, then retreated to a safe distance. Harmony was steaming and growling.
"Uuuuse the fooorce...!" Flash said in a spooky voice.
"The force?" Serenity questioned.
Harmony smirked and took out a piece of caramel. She devoured it, wrapper and all, before breaking through the halo and standing up. Flash and Serenity cheered, Yusuke ran away or rather limped away, Hiei walked after Yusuke and still managed to be right behind him the whole time, and Youko whimpered before cowering behind a tree.
Harmony walked up to the tree slowly and stood in front of it. Youko peered around, saw her, yelped and hid again. Harmony ran around the tree and grabbed Youko by the shirt before dragging him back and tying him to the tree with a rope she found in Autumn's pockets for whatever reason. Harmony then proceeded to beat Youko with a stick.
Mrs. Marino the art teacher chose this moment to leave the school. She was passing by in her car. She looked to her left and saw who she believed to be Autumn beating up the boy that she had been all love-y dove-y over. Mrs. Marino blinked many times before taking some medication her doctor had prescribed in order to help relieve her stress. She then drove away.
Flash and Serenity watched as Hiei blew on Yusuke, causing the injured detective to fall face first on the ground. Serenity and Flash started laughing as Hiei stood there smirking. Yusuke's attempts to stand up failed and he wound up falling many, many times. Nearby, Youko was getting his head kicked into the tree by Harmony. He was whimpering and begging for forgiveness. It was at that moment that Kuwabara woke up.
"I remember now! It's Halloween!" Kuwabara announced proudly.
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Dream: ::looks around the beach that she's sitting on:: Where are we?
Zero: ::lying on the ground:: Apparently that explosion blasted us to a deserted island...
Winter: This is horrible! Who knows how long I'll be stuck here with you two?! For all we know it could be forever! Not only that but there's no electricity and no coffee!!!!!
Zero: Plus there'll probably be a lot of disease carrying bugs.
Winter: We'll have to wear the same clothes every day!
Zero: We'll have to make our own shelters and catch our own food.
Winter: I won't have my computer!
Zero: I won't be able to fly away...
Dream: Look at the bright side!
Zero and Winter: ::turn to look at her:: What bright side?
Dream: ::grins and holds up coconuts:: We've got plenty of coconuts!!
Zero and Winter: ::nod to each other before attacking Dream::