An assassin's life

o.k. I'm here, I'm alive that's all that matters. Firs, I bet you would think this is a story of a young man, living a very happy life, with his family, when suddenly, everybody discovers that this shy boy is actually a trained assassin. Well, is true... a part of it.

My parents died in a car crash, or how some lunatics say, they got killed by an evil wizard who thinks he can take over the world just by saying avada kadavra. Its bullshit, I know, but what to do? So, that's how I got this scar on my forehead. It's kind of cool, I mean, who else haves a scar like a lightening bolt on their foreheads? Remember I said something about a wizard? Well it true. I went to a school of that kind for 3 years, till I discovered that I don't belong there. Come on, wizards? What's next? Speaking unicorns with black wings and monkeys with brain? I learned some things there, some useful spells, shit, useful my ass. I couldn't even use them till I was what... I think 18. That's shit, you know. I think I've earn myself a couple of warnings from the so called Minister of magic. They said they're going to break my wand if I use more spells… yeah, right, and this time tomorrow I'll be the queen of England. I made some friends there; one of them is right now with me, sleeping actually. The other one, is in bars wasting himself all over, after that going home with 2, 3 girls. Not the I life want. I'm happy where I am.

Oh fuck, I'm so in the future…where was I? Right. School. In just 3 years I learned about the magical and found out that I'm very famous and very rich, plus I'm the heir of … hold on a minute, I forgot his name…Godric Griffin or something like that. No, wait. It's Godric Gryffindor. Yeah, that's it. So, lets see, rich, famous, powerful, good looking (hei, I'm a MAN, I've got to say this, I've got my honor) what more would you want? So from here, I live happily ever after...THE END. I wish. You see, it's this moment in your life when you think everything is O.K. but then something wrong happens, you lose your faith and all the shit you worked for its going to hell. Now, that's exactly what happened to me. Sitting there with my best friends, at the Gryffindor table (I'm a Gryffindor and seeker in the quidditch team), talking, having fun, when Dumbledore comes and says he needs to speak with me. Did I mention that I hate this man and I don't trust him a bit? So, we go to his office and he stars to explain to me the things he done for me and bla, bla, bla, but what he said next was the last straw. He told me that there is a prophesy about me and that crazy evil wizard, voldemort, in witch, I have to kill him or he has to kill me. Shit. Fuck. Where he comes up with this stuff? I was so angry and the last thigh I know is that I took my friends and disappeared, God knows how, in Hogsmeade. There, I told them about the prophesy and we decided to bring more people and train for the years to come. This is when I quitted school, along with my best friends and another 10 kids. We brought books, dark magic, light magic, every damned book about curses… but, this is when it becomes interesting…I was walking around, with my girlfriend, actually, love of my life, and future Mrs Potter, when, this guy, dressed in black, comes to me, and I remember even now his words : " careful kid, don't get yourself killed. If you want help, ask me now..." so I did. He was an assassin, from what he told me. Bourne, Jason Bourne, nice name, don't you think? O.k. so he taught me everything he knew, me and the others of course. But from some reason I was always better than the others... had my charm... and so, I became an assassin, first victim, a 30 years drug dealer. Piece of cake. Done it in 5 minutes.

With both magical and muggle knowledge, I became very powerful. Not to mention that I killed that raving lunatic, voldemort, and my men worked on his supporters, Death Eaters, as they called themselves. Did a wonderful job. Wizard help came when the battle was over. At least, they saw me killing old Voldie. Not a great view, but, that's the dirty job of a hero…

From know, me and my people were famous in magical world, and, in the muggle world to. We were the best people for a dirty expensive job. After, the "big" battle, everyone settled up, except Jason and Ron. Ginny, Ron's sister, soon became Mrs. Draco Malfoy, and has 2 kids with that idiot. Fred and George, The Twins, have a big business with some cool shit, Blaize Zabini is married with Lavender Brown, their 2 of my best assassins, called them Ash and Fire. Only I know the reason. Nott has become Minister in wizard world, you should see him. He controls those fouls. If he'd tell them to jump off a bridge, they'd do it. Now, Luna Lovegood, she stayed as an assassin, as did Pavarti, Seamus and Dean, I think their rich enough to buy Europe...

And finally, me, I only go to job when I feel like having a little fun, but the rest of my time, I'm spending it with my beautiful wife, Hermione Potter, and my twins, James and Dennis. I swear, those two are nothing like me… except the looks, green eyes, annoying black hair that is always wild and gosh, I hate even to think about it. Hermione says she likes it. That's the only reason now I'm not bold. I swear.

This is my boring little life, that's what happened in big, cuz if I'd give you details, who, which, where, how, I'd have to stay all night telling you about the life of the great Harry Potter.

Regards,

Harry James Potter