The dark, mysterious figure paused beneath the lampost.
"Kei-kun!" A man in a white trenchcoat joined him. "I'm hungry..."
"Make it stop," Kei groaned.
Sho pouted. "But... but..." Sniffle. "You don't love me anymore?"
"Let's see... no."
He began to whine some more, but paused mid-word. "But-- can I eat that one?" Sho pointed off into a dark alleyway.
Suddenly a loud sound came from the alleyway, as though someone had tripped over a trashcan. A muttered curse was followed by footsteps scurrying away.
------
"Were you out 'vampire hunting' again, sweetie?"
Hughes slumped in his chair, hiding his grimace from his wife. His beautiful wife, who didn't understand his mission. And his cute wonderful Elysia-chan, who just turned four last month! How he hated that his work took so much time away from his amazingly loving family...
But no! He had work to do... and how did those vampires notice him? He had been taking lessons in how to hide from someone who has had that talent passed down through his family for generations! He must practice more...
--------
"And then what did the squirrel do?"
Blink. "Squirrel?"
"You were muttering something about a squirrel just there."
Blink. "I was?"
"No, but you could have been."
Kei rolled his eyes and went back to polishing his gun. "You do realize that when you want to eat someone, you shouldn't announce it. Loudly. To the world. And the prey, idiot."
"I'm hurt," Sho complained sarcastically. "You think I didn't realize that?"
Blink. "Then..."
Grin. "Kei-kun... I'm--"
"If you say that again, I'm going to kill you."
"But I'm already dead."
"I can still throw you outside in the morning."
Pause. "Can I say it more graphically then?"
Sigh.
-----
Back in his kitchen, Hughes was in the midst of a phone call.
"It's my duty to slay the evil vampires, and rescue all the innocents in the world! Like my lovely wife and my beautiful daughter, who turned four last month – she's so cute! Would you like a picture? I can give you a picture, if you want one. –" he cleared his throat, taking on a serious demeanor as he readjusted his glasses, making them flash in the light, "Anyway, I will not rest until the world is free of these horrible fiends. I will save the world!"
"Umm... so you wanted two pepperoni pizzas, extra cheese, right?"
"...Right."
"Alright, thank you for choosing Happy Pizza. Your order will be ready in twenty minutes."
------
A.N. Gomen ne! feikoi got a bit too carried away after our Full Metal Alchemist marathon... We tried to stop her. We did, however, manage to stop Seraphina2 from "saying it more graphically". In a violent manner. feikoi wanted to go graphic in another direction, but managed to scrape up some restraint...