A/N: First of I would like to thank….I think….Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger for their most marvelous reviews. If no one knows what the hell I'm talking about, check out the reviews page.

After days of waiting, the night of the Yule Ball finally arrived and all the students were as excited as can be.

"I'm a hot bachelor!" yelled Harry.

"No, I'm a hot bachelor!" countered Ron.

"Gentlemen please, we are all hot bachelors" said Prince William. Everyone agreed.

All the boys from Gryffindor tower headed downstairs to meet with their dates and just as they reached the bottom step, Hermione appeared in all her glory. Ron gasped; Harry and Prince William were distracted by a dust bunny. But alas, Hermione was hand in hand with Viktor Krum and they disappeared into the crowd.

"Did you see how she just showed off, walking away in the crowd like that!" yelled Ron as he stepped on the dust bunny. Harry and Prince William wept.

"Oh well," said Harry as he dabbed at his eye, "it's time to go to the Great Hall," he said as all three boys strolled down the red carpet.

There were hundreds of photographers and flashes going off every second. Harry smiled, Ron was talking to a reporter, and William was standing around looking handsome.

Just as the boys were about to walk through the Great Hall doors, a terrifying woman, with blond hair, jumped out from behind the crowd.

"Sweet Mother of…" yelled Ron as he dove behind Harry.

"Oh, oh, can we talk!" yelled Joan Rivers. The boys ran away.

"Damnit! Bashing people's clothes is all I can do!" she yelled.

In the Great Hall….

Harry, Ron, and William were cruisin' the hall for some fine lookin' ladies and you may be asking yourself why they didn't have their dates. Well, due to lacking character development of their dates, and the chapter makes sense without them, they are not included.

As they sat down at a table, Dumbledore came onto the stage in his blue polyester, ruffle tux and afro. "Good evening to you all, I hope you will enjoy yourself tonight and if my foxy lady friend, McGonagall would join me on stage, let's get this party started!" he yelled as he began dancing to "Stayin' Alive".

As all the students began to shake their groove things, Hermione walked up to the punch bowl.

"Dude, this is your chance to mingle with Hermione," said Harry as he began to break dance for some reason. Ron took a deep breath and walked over to Hermione. She smiled. "Would you like some punch Ron?" she asked. He nodded, grabbed the cup and then walked away.

"Did you see how I handled that?" said Ron to Harry smoothly.

"Could she be more obvious, she practically was asking you out on a date," said Harry.

After much fun and partying, Dumbledore once again walked onto the stage and spoke into the microphone. "Now we have a very special surprise, we have live entertainment for you all," said the Headmaster as all the students started chatting excitedly. "Please welcome, recording artist, Hillary Duff!" he shouted.

"…Yay" said someone from the back of the room as there was polite clapping as Hilary Duff walked onto the stage.

"and Lindsay Lohan!" finished Dumbledore. This was met by much whooping and hollering.

"What the hell!" shouted Duff as she walked up to the movie teen queen.

"Yeah, what you going to do about?" asked Lohan. This was met by more whooping and hollering.

"Don't get in my face, Lohan, I will scratch you!"

"Whoooooooo" yelled all the students.

"Don't make this get ugly!" yelled Lohan.

"Whooooooooo" yelled all the students.

"My heel just broke" said Duff offhandedly.

"Whoooooo" yelled some student.

Hilary and Lindsay just shrugged and began to fight as Dumbldore pushed them off stage.

"Well that was a bust," he said. "Oh by the way Harry, Hagrid is a half-giant and holds a mysterious past, that is hopefully essential to the plot in later books, but I just thought I tell you now" said the Headmaster.

"You the man Dumbledore!" shouted Harry.

"Well, I think it's time to crown the King and Queen of the Yule Ball" said Professor McGonagall. Dumbledore reached into his afro and pulled out an envelope and opened it.

The hall went quiet, as Dumbledore read out the first name. "The queen of the Yule Ball is…Hermione Granger!" She screamed as she accepted her crown and waved to the students.

"The King of the Yule Ball is….Aragorn!" A grungy looking man in battle armor, long hair, and what appeared to be his rag-tag groupies, walked onto to the stage. All the girls swooned.

"Man, that Aragorn gets all the chicks," said Ron.

Later….

After the dance was finished, all the students filed out of the Great Hall. Harry and Ron bid goodbye to Prince William as he went home. Dumbledore had to be taken to the hospital wing after tripping on his platform shoes, Draco Malfoy was asleep on the floor after consuming too much punch, and after all this Harry got separated from Ron when he went to go contemplate the meaning of life.

When Harry finally got back to Gryffindor tower, he came upon Hermione and Ron fighting over a very serious issue that was plaguing the world.

"Blue is the best color!" he yelled.

"Red!" she screamed as she walked away. Harry walked over to his friend . "It's okay Ron, don't worry about it," said Harry consolingly.

"What do you want to do now?" asked Ron as he regained his composure.

"We could go sneak into the kitchens and eat," suggested Harry.

"We did that yesterday," said Ron.

"We could go give the first years wedgies."

"Twice this week," said Ron moodily.

"Well, we could borrow Dumbledore's platform shoes and run up and down the halls," shrugged Harry.

"Okay!" yelled Ron as they both dashed off like happy little school girls.