Live or Die
Allie Helms
Chapter Three
A Jedi Mind
Knowledge speaks wisdom listens.
I caught up with Anakin and Obi-wan outside the chamber. "What kind of nonsense is this, put me on the Council and not make me a master? That's never been done in the history of the Jedi. It's insulting," Anakin said in his rage.
I looked out of the window, "Anakin, we think your relations with the Chancellor are well a little bit too close. It bothers me."
"She is right. Calm down. You have been given a great honor. To be on the Council at your age . . . it's never been done before. Listen to me Anakin. The fact of the matter is you're too close to the Chancellor. The Council doesn't like it when he interferes with Jedi affairs," Obi-wan explained.
Anakin turned around, "I swear to you I didn't ask to be put on the Council."
"Yes, but it was your deepest desire," I said still facing the window.
He then turned his head to look at this, "That has nothing to do with this."
"Or does it?" I asked.
"Anakin, regardless of how it happened, you find yourself in a delicate situation," Obi-wan pointed out.
I turned around to face Obi-wan, "Indeed."
"You mean divided loyalties?" he asked.
I shook my head. "I warned you there was tension between the Council and the Chancellor. I was very clear. Why didn't you listen? You walked right into it," Obi-wan scolded.
"The Council is upset. I'm the youngest to ever serve," Anakin said.
I looked over to him, "I don't mean to be sour, but with age comes wisdom. Something which younger people do not have then the older."
"Why are you against me all of the sudden?" he asked.
I walked up to him and cupped his cheek, "I am not. I am just scared about the something that might happen. I trust you, but I sense darkness."
"Anakin, I worry when you speak of jealousy and pride. Those are not Jedi thoughts. They're dangerous, dark thoughts," Obi-wan pointed out.
"Master, you of all people should have confidence in my a abilities. I know where my loyalties lie," Anakin said.
I cocked my head to the side like a curious dog, "Do you?"
"Why are you doubting me my love? My loyalties are with you, and the Council. That's it," he said.
I closed my eyes, "I sense some with the Chancellor. He is flattering you, and making you like him. I'm suddenly afraid."
"Anakin the only reason the Council has approved your appointment is because the Chancellor trusts you," Obi-wan said. Anakin looked at him. "Anakin, look we are on your side. We didn't want to see you put in this situation," he said.
"What situation?" Anakin asked.
Obi-wan and I took a deep breath, "The Council wants you to report on all the Chancellor's dealings. They want to know what he's up to."
"They want me to spy on the Chancellor? That's treason!" Anakin said furiously.
I finally spoke, "Anakin, my world once had a Civil War. Many people were spies. Even women."
"What are you saying?" he asked.
I looked at him with a regrettable look. "The Council wants me to go with you when you go to the Chancellor. I am supposed to look over you. I am doing this as they asked because my loyalties are with them. I trust them and they trust me. When you start to trust them then they will trust you too, Anakin. I don't want to, but I have to for the Council, and for me," I said.
"The Chancellor is not a bad man, Rose. He befriended me. He's watched out for me ever since I arrived here," he said.
Obi-wan shook his head, "This is why you must help us, Anakin. Our allegiance is to the Senate, not to its leader who has managed to stay in office long after his term has expired."
"But Master the Senate demanded he stay longer," Anakin pointed out.
I turned back toward the window, "Yes, but use your feelings, Anakin. Something is out of place here."
Anakin looked at me. I could feel his blue eyes full of rage, "You're asking me to do something against the Jedi Code, against the Republic, against a mentor, and a friend. That's what's out of place here."
"No!" I shouted at him. I was furious at him furious at myself. "Anakin what would be out of place is if you were against me, if you were spying on me. You are not married to the Chancellor, but to me." I turned around to face him. "I am asking you to do this. I have to help you, and I can't help you if you won't let me," I started to cry. "Do this for me, for the Council. I'm sorry," I said, and I ran away.
"And you just ran away like that?" Padme asked from across the table.
I nodded, "I don't know what happened. It's like something snapped in me, and I had to tell him that he had to do this. You know?"
She nodded. "I'm sorry. Hopefully when you get home you can apologize, and you two will be back to happily ever after," she said with a smile.
"Yeah I hope," I said.
She put a hand on mine. "Will you sing me a song like you used to?" she asked.
"Sure," I replied.
If you gave me a coin for every time we said good bye
Well I'd be rich beyond my dreams
I'm sorry for my weary life
I know I'm not perfect but I can smile
And I hope you see this heart behind my tired eyes
If you tell me that I can't
I will
I will
I'll try all night
And if I say I'm coming home
I'll probably be out all night
I know I can be afraid
But I'm alive
And I hope you trust this heart behind my tired eyes
I'm no angel but please don't think that I won't try and try
I'm no angel but does that mean I can't live my life
I'm no angel but please don't think that I can't cry
I'm no angel but does that mean I won't fly
I know I'm not around each night
And I know I always think I'm right
I can believe that you might look around
I'm no angel but please don't think that I won't try and try
I'm no angel but does that mean I can't live my life
I'm no angel but please don't think that I can't cry
I'm no angel but does that mean I won't fly
I finished, and she smiled. "You still have a wonderful voice, November. I've missed it."
"So have I, but for now I will go. I will send you a hologram tomorrow if I have time," I said hugging her, and walking out the door.
When I entered the apartment it was dark. I turned on the light, and got a piece of paper and a pen from the kitchen. I went out on the balcony, and began to write.
It's driving me mad
Voices ringing through my ears
Trying to drive me
Out of my comfort zone
It's pulling me out into the world
Not pulling me back
Until I'm ready
Until I can cope
It's making me upset
Throwing me away
Like a piece of messed up paper
Into a waste basket
It's cleaning me
And making me dirty
Healing me and
Making me sick
It's making me love
And making me hate
Making me die
And making me reborn
It's like lilies
Floating down a deep dark hole
And like lily pads
Floating on the ponds
It's like a shady path
And yet like a light road
Leading me on
Until I let all of it go
This thing I talk of
Is something I fear
And yet I am not afraid
It's an unwilling feeling
This thing called life.
Just then I heard the door of the apartment opened, and I felt Anakin's presence looking at me. I quickly hid the piece of paper in my secret pockets. I felt Anakin approach me. I was ready to get my lightsabers out to attack him. He came closer, and instead of pulling out my weapons to attack him I just turned around to face him. He stepped a little bit closer, and I collapsed in his arms. "Annie, I'm so sorry," I said crying into his cloak.
He pulled me away, "Why did you say that Rose?"
I turned around to look out over the darkness of Courscant. "Because I was afraid. I was afraid of losing you. If you leave me Anakin I would surly die of my own destruction. I know that if I lose you I would . . ." I started to choke on my tears.
He walked up to me and wrapped his arm around me, and kissed my neck. "Shh. I will always be with you no matter what. I will never leave you," he whispered.
I smiled at his touch. "Yes, but I have my doubts you know that," I said running my hands through his hair.
"Do you?" he whispered into my ears.
I turned my head to look at him. "Yes," I said. He tilted his head forward, and kisses me deeply.
"Let's go to bed," he said breaking the kiss. I nodded and we walked up hand in hand to the bedroom. I changed into a deep red nightgown, and sat beside him on the bed. "I love you, and I do trust you, but the Council well I just don't know," he said putting a hand on my leg.
"Anakin, they aren't bad. They do what they think is best for the Republic. Don't let anyone tell you other wise. They are trying to protect it. There is a bug hidden in the Senate. There is something wrong I sense with it. Every government has their faults, and they Council is trying to catch the one in the Senate before it happens. Just do what they say, and I promise you everything will be okay," I told him.
He looked at me his dark blue eyes in deep concentration. "I'm just so worried that I won't be able to save you from your fate. I don't want you to leave me," he said with tears on the brink of appearance.
"Annie, you can't save me. I am to die with or without you saving me. Plus you already have. You took me from a horrible past, and made me what I am today. I am a Jedi Master, a wife, and a warrior. The only think you have left to do is to love me that is all I ask of you, remember?" I asked.
He smiled, "Alright. I promise."
"Are you still waiting for me?" I asked.
He smiled, "Yes."
"Good," I said and then I kissed him deeply.
"Hello class," Anakin and I said in unison. I looked over to Fayanna and smiled.
"Hello Lady November and Master Skywalker," the class responded.
Anakin stepped forward. "Welcome to lightsaber training. Now today you will pick a partner, and duel with him or her. Now before we are going to do that you will watch Lady November and I duel first so you can learn the rules. We will do a full duel, so you can see me beat her," he said with a wink.
"Oh really?" I questioned. "You really think you could do that Anakin? You better not slack off. Just bring it all."
Anakin took off his cloak, "Oh do you really want me too?"
I nodded while taking off my black cloak. He got into attack position with his lightsaber ignited. I just stood there. A small boy raised his hand. "Yes Randolph do you have a question?" I asked.
"Yes Lady November, why are you not unsheathing your lightsabers?" he asked me.
I smiled, "Because as a warrior I have quick reflexes." They looked at me confused. "Just watch." They nodded.
Anakin leapt forward, and I grabbed my lightsabers with the Force, and blocked him with an 'x' above my head. "You see?" I asked. They nodded.
Anakin and I fought with fury, and with love. We were doing leaps and jumps all over the place. We finally stopped, and Anakin and I were out of breath.
"Okay now you go, and find a partner yourselves. We will give you tips while observing," I said panting. Fayanna teamed up with a girl name Silana. I walked over to Anakin to get some water. "Good fight love, good fight," I said taking a drink.
"Thank you, and you too. We should do this more often," he smiling.
I nodded, "I very much agree." We laughed.
We walked around, and gave them tips as we did. "Fayanna fake left then attack right!" I yelled to her. She nodded and did so.
"Damien go high!" Anakin yelled.
The class ended an hour later, and Anakin and I were exhausted.
We returned home to the apartment, and I started to make dinner. Anakin went to take a shower, and change. After a while he came up to me, and wrapped his arms around me. "It smells good. What are we having?" he asked.
"Pasta with red sauce," I said.
He smiled in my ear, "Do you want to skip dinner?"
"Maybe," I said. Just then his com started to beep. "What? Who is that?" I asked.
"It's the Chancellor. He wants to see me," he said.
I nodded, "Let me go change."
"No, he wants to see me now. I will catch up with you there. I love you," he said kissing me on the cheek, and sprinting out the door.
I ran into the bedroom, and changed into a black jumpsuit. I clipped my lightsabers to the utility belt, and sprinted out of the door. I jumped into my black speeder, and headed for the opera house. "I hate operas," I said to myself.
I entered the Chancellor's box, and saw Anakin sitting with him. "Ah! Lady Jedi November, what a surprise, I wasn't expecting you to come," he said.
"Yes, not only is Anakin being your eyes for the republic, but I get to be your mouth," I said smiling. He just glared. "We have both been assigned to you your honor," I said nastily.
"As I was telling young Anakin here, Our Clone Intelligence Units have discovered the location of General Grievous. He is hiding in the Utapau system," he smiling. "Unless you don't trust me."
My face became stone, "I trust you . . ." Then I muttered under my breath, "As much as I would trust Grievous."
"What was that?" he asked.
I forced a smile upon my lips, "I said as much as I would trust Anakin. Now if that is all I do believe we will be going. Let's go Anakin. I still have pasta and red sauce cooking."
Anakin and I left. Outside the opera house I stopped. "What is it, Rose?" he asked.
"What did he say to you before I arrived?" I asked him.
He shook his head, "Nothing of importance."
I nodded reluctantly. I knew he said something. Something didn't feel right. It just didn't.
"How could the Chancellor have come by this information, and we know nothing about it? We have had contact with Baron Papanoida, and he said no one was there," Mace's hologram said.
Anakin leaned forward in his seat, "A partial message was intercepted in a diplomatic packet from the Chairman of Utapau."
"Act on this, we must. The capture of General Grievous will end this war. Quickly and decisively we should proceed," Yoda's holographic form said.
We all agreed. "The Chancellor has requested that I lead the campaign," Anakin said.
"The Council will make up its own mind who is to go, no the Chancellor," Mace said a little angry.
Yoda nodded, "A master is needed, with more experience."
"Given our resources, I recommend we send only one Jedi . . . Lady Jedi November," Mace said.
I shook my head, "I may be a good candidate, but Master Kenobi has much more experience than I do. I suggest he goes."
Everyone agreed, and the Council was dismissed.
A/N: I hope you like it. I know they are long chapters but they are getting the job done. R/R thanks!