Author's Note: I want to thank everyone for all of the very nice reviews! For the curious, the game in the story is loosely based on several games, though the predominant ones are Sierra's Quest for Glory games.

Virtually Yours

Bloody Merry on the Rocks

Seto stared at the virtual scenery, wondering what he was doing here - "here" being both the cavern beneath the vampire castle with Wheeler and Weevil and, in reality, sitting on the same bed as Wheeler while they played the game. If anyone so much as mentioned fate to him, Seto swore he would strangle them. Only weak-minded, superstitious fools placed any faith in "fate."

Seto briefly lifted his headpiece to watch the mutt, whose attention seemed to be focused solely on the game. Little did Wheeler know he'd almost been left alone at the hospital. Once the doctors had assured him that the mutt wasn't seriously hurt, Seto had decided to call one of Wheeler's friends to stay with him and then sneak out. When the older Motou answered, however, Seto had learned that Yugi and the rest of his cheerleaders were spending the summer touring the Duel Monsters circuit, and had been gone since the first week of summer break. And so Seto had been unable to foist the mutt off on someone else make an escape.

Wheeler, at least, didn't seem to hold much of a grudge. When he'd awakened, Seto had expected him to lose his temper right off the bat. Of course, things hadn't proceeded like a drugstore bodice ripper either. There were no professions of undying love; no passionate love-making in the hospital bed; not even a spontaneous kiss. Real life never worked that way, and Seto didn't know whether or not to be grateful or disappointed.

With an idle smile, Seto reached out to scratch Wheeler's back. "Mmmm," came Wheeler's contented sigh. "That feels- Shit! Under attack!"

Quickly Seto pulled the headpiece back down, refocusing his attention on the game. A flock of vampire bats surrounded the adventures on what Wheeler had labelled the "Ascension to Hell." Seto and Wheeler automatically moved their characters so that they were back-to-back. Weevil took up a position beside Wheeler, casting fireball spells. Seto nodded in approval at this set-up. The kid had enough battle sense to know that his spells would compensate for the shorter reach of Wheeler's dagger.

The bats fell quickly against the combined attack of the heroes. "Weak monsters," Seto snorted in disgust as the last bat vanished. After the challenges of making it to the stairway, he'd expected something stronger. The game programmers would hear from him about this.

"But a lot of them," Wheeler murmured, interrupting Seto's internal rant. "I bet that we'll run into more up ahead to. If we keep having to do minor healings, we won't have any health supplies left when we reach the castle."

"Like in a duel!" Weevil blurted. "The little bugs can be just as devastating as the huge dragons if used properly." Seto let out a disgusted snort. If the little roach knew who his gaming partner was, he'd never have made that comparison.

"So," Wheeler murmured. "We need to figure out a way up this stairway that lead us to more bats. Any ideas, Professor?"

"None," Seto grumbled.

"But you-"

In the real world, Seto slapped a hand over Wheeler's mouth. "Pardon us a moment, Scarab," he said to the wizard in the game. He took off his headpiece and then did the same with Wheeler's. "You were fixing to say, 'But you designed the game,' weren't you, mutt?"

Wheeler nodded, and Seto groaned. Of all the stupid, idiotic ideas... "I'm only going to explain this once, so pay attention. My company designed the game, not me specifically. I heard the pitch for the game, signed off some approvals, looked over reports on how production progressed and how the game tested. Do you think I'm such a control freak that I went over every single aspect of the game with every single member of the production team?"

Again, Wheeler nodded, this time eliciting a faint smirk from Seto. "Yeah, ok, I am. Unfortunately there aren't enough hours in the day, and there were other projects that needed my attention. In other words, I'm as clueless as you are about what lies ahead." With that, Seto put the headpiece back on and returned his attention to the game. "Thanks for waiting."

"No problem," Weevil said. "It gave me some time to think."

"Bet that hurt, roach," Joey muttered, and Seto had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. He must be rubbing off on his mutt, Seto decided.

"Anyway," Weevil continued as though Wheeler hadn't interrupted. "If these bats operate like real bats, they navigate by sound. If we make a loud enough noise, it might throw them into enough confusion that, if we hurry, we might be able to make it up the stairs."

The kid had a good idea, Seto admitted to himself. At least, it would've been a good idea if they had a way to make that kind of noise. There were no sound spells, though, and it wasn't like Seto could make a cd start blaring into the game at full blast.

"Well?" Weevil asked when there were no immediate cries of approval. Seto and Joey both gave noncommittal grunts. "You dolts! Don't you see this is another one of those teamwork puzzles? Andiron, unequip your sword and equip a second shield. You'll need to take the rear."

A knight without a sword? What kind of fool did Weevil think he was? "Just trust me, knight. I can make the noise, but when I do, we'll need a good strong carapace to protect us from getting squished."

Squished? Seto and Joey both looked up. "You are one crazy fucking roach," Wheeler gasped, summing up Seto's own thoughts perfectly. Descending from the darkness overhead were thousands of stalactites. Seto equipped the second shield.

"Gentlemen, let's rock and roll!" Fireballs flew from the wizard's fingers, arching for the stalactites overhead. Booming echoed through the cavern stairwell as the fireballs impacted against their target, followed by a deafening rumble. Stalactites dropped from above, smashing thunderously upon the stairs.

The small group began their charge for safety. Rocks pinged and clanked off of Seto's shields as he kept them raised to shelter himself and his party. Swooping bats keened their confusion, unable to locate their quarry amidst the noise and falling debris. Occasional the flight path of one of the unfortunate beasts took it into the shelter of Seto's shields, where it would quickly be dispatched by Joey's ready dagger.

A door loomed ahead - the end was in sight! "Wheeler, door!" Seto ordered, willing to bet his entire company that the door would be locked.

"Already on it!" The three huddled against the door, Seto shielding and Joey working the lock. With a click, the door swung open and all three lunged inside. "Let's do that again!" Joey whooped, leaning back against Seto. The sudden closeness startled Seto, but he accepted it, once again encircling his arms around the other boy. Seto held Joey against him, resting his chin on top of Joey's head. "And to think, Professor," Joey murmured. "You were the one that didn't want to join up with a wizard."

"Guys?" Weevil's cringing whimper broke up the moment. Quickly Seto looked around this new room - something he normally would've done immediately. If the mutt was going to be this distracting in the game, there was no telling how devastating daily life was going to be.

It only took seconds to spot the thing that had worried the mage. Curled at the foot of a ladder lay a creature that was a mixture of woman, lion, and eagle - a sphinx. The beast had seen far better days. Seto could easily count the ribs on her human torso and lion's body. Dust and grime dulled her tawny coat, and bedraggled wings hung limply on the ground. Seto's eyes trailed a chain that went from the center of the room to a manacle clamped onto one of the sphinx's back legs. The length of the chain would allow her to pace the circumference of the room and no more. This place was her cage.

The monster sat up and regarded the players curiously, feline eyes glittering in a human face. "To pass be me, thou must answer riddles three. If thou dost not succeed, on thy bones shalt I feed." On the last word, the sphinx curled her lips back in a gruesome smile, revealing fangs that looked more at home in a lion's mouth.

Riddles? Seto swore under his breath. He thought too logically to be any good at riddles. "Not riddles!" came two simultaneous groans from Joey and Weevil. No wonder the vampires' castle had never been breached, Seto decided. Players were probably ready for the loony bin if they'd made it this far. At least when it came to riddles, Seto had a secret weapon. "Wheeler, go get my brother."

"You get him," Joey grumbled. "I'm still hurting." Seto almost slapped himself for forgetting. Wheeler's cheer and vigor in the game made it easy to overlook his injuries. And, despite not being serious, they had to be quite painful still.

Reluctantly, Seto hauled himself off the bed and crossed the hall to his brother's room. Seeing a light under the door, Seto had to smile. It looked as though he and Joey weren't the only ones having a late night. Seto tapped lightly at the door. Immediately the light went out, and a voice that sounded thick with sleep called softly, "Who's there?"

Seto cracked the door open. "Hey, little brother," he whispered. Mokuba was sitting up in bed, pretending to rub the sleep from his eyes. It was an Oscar-winning performance. Seto strolled to his brother's bed, noting how the kid pressed back against the pillow as he approached. "Wheeler and I need your help, Mokuba. We're up against a sphinx that wants to hurl riddles at us."

Letting out a huge and, Seto suspected, phony yawn, Mokuba stretched and climbed out of bed. In an instant, Seto grabbed Mokuba's pillow and looked beneath, grimacing as he realized that his baby brother had been sitting up late with a Playboy magazine. "It's not what you think!" Mokuba squeaked, making a grab for the magazine, only to have Seto beat him to it. "I was just looking at the articles!"

"Solve the riddles for us, and I'll forget you had this," Seto muttered as he went back to Joey's room. Mokuba followed. When he returned, Seto tossed the offending skin mag onto the bedside table and resumed his position at the computer. Mokuba settled beside him, eyes fixed on the screen. Seto clicked his mouse on the sphinx and the first riddle appeared onscreen with a text box below it for someone to supply the answer.

"You heard me before,
Yet you hear me again,
Then I die,
'Till you call me again."

"You dragged me out of bed for this," Mokuba grumbled indignantly. "The answer is an echo. Sheesh! Give me a hard one!" Seto's fingers flew across the keyboard as he typed in "echo" and hit Enter. The sphinx made no move to eat anyone, so Seto assumed the answer was correct. He clicked on the sphinx again for the next riddle.

"With thieves I consort,
With the vilest, in short,
I'm quite at ease in depravity;
Yet all divines use me,
And savants can't lose me,
For I am the center of gravity."

Mokuba began chewing his lower lip as he thought. Seto could hear him mumbling the riddle under his breath, occasionally repeating a line several times before moving on to the next. Suddenly his little hand darted out to hit a single letter on the keyboard and then Enter. Seto tensed, expecting the sphinx to attack, but nothing happened. Mokuba grinned impishly at his brother. "The center of gravity is 'v.'" Seto rolled his eyes and brought up the final riddle.

"What does man love more than life
Fear more than death or mortal strife
What the poor have, the rich require,
and what contented men desire,
What the miser spends and the spendthrift saves
And all men carry to their graves"

Mokuba only read through the riddle once this time before he started giggling. "And what does Joey have in his head?" Seto raised a questioning eyebrow. "Why, nothing, of course!"

"Hey! That's not funny!" Joey growled. Seto just smirked and typed in the answer, hitting Enter one last time.

The sphinx rose and stepped away from the ladder. "Farewell, my would-be meal. Into the castle, you may steal." Seto started up the ladder, followed by Weevil, but he stopped as he saw Joey was hanging back. Seto pulled off the headpiece and glanced over at Joey's computer to see what he was doing. He had his inventory screen open. He selected the food rations which could be used to recover a small amount of health, and clicked them on the sphinx. The beast wasted no time in devouring the meager meal. When the food was gone, the sphinx turned its attention back to the players. "A boon will thou grant? I'll give items to enchant."

Joey hesitated only briefly before agreeing to help the sphinx. Once he agreed, however, the sphinx began speaking again. "Around the neck of the Vampire King is a key on a ring. If it thou can find, these chains can unbind. Once more I can soar, a prisoner nevermore!"

Seto gave Joey's shoulder a quick pat. "Good job finding us a quest on this treasure hunt."

Up the ladder the three heroes scurried. At the top, they found themselves in a what could only be a dungeon. A brief exploration yielded only medieval torture devices and old bones. The treasures of the castle were further on.

"Let's not go too fast, Andiron," Weevil murmured. "This place is probably full of twists and turns. I've got some graph paper, so I can map it as we go along so we won't get lost." As much as he hated the little creep, Seto had to admit to himself that Weevil was certainly proving useful.

And so began the exploration. Seto took the lead. As a knight, he had the strongest physical strength of the group, which made him perfect for getting in the first attack and weakening any vampires they ran into. Once the rooms were cleared of monsters, Joey searched the room for treasures while Weevil worked on his map. In this way they progressed.

"Just call me 'Joey the Vampire Slayer,'" Joey quipped at one point, after staking a particularly nasty vampire. Weevil cackled at the joke. Seto, however, shrugged it off, not getting it.

On the third floor up from the dungeon, the group came across a door that was different from the others. Instead of plain wood, gold and jewels were embedded in the door. "Think we've found the throne room?" Seto asked.

"Yeah," Joey responded. "I bet we have. Let's see if we've got a Vampire King in there!"

As guessed, the doors opened onto a throne room. Two vampires lounged at the foot of the throne, and one sat upon it. Seto felt the blood drain from his face as he gazed upon the monsters. Each wore a face he knew far too well. On the Vampire King's right crouched a vampire with a shock of platinum hair curtaining half his face. He saluted the adventurers with a raise of a goblet of what Seto hoped was wine. The vampire on the left merely watched with bright bi-color eyes. Hair of the palest turquoise cascaded down its back, and it's bangs formed a zig-zagging frame around the sharp planes of a princely face. A hungry tongue darted out briefly between his fangs.

But it was the Vampire King that held Seto's gaze. He wore the face of Seto's own personal monster. "Gozaburo." The name came out in a soft whisper as Seto struggled to keep the fear out of his voice. How many times would this demon have to be destroyed before it stayed dead?