Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or any of the characters that appear in the anime/manga series. I like cake.
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I believe this mission is going to be what's commonly known as 'the pits'. There's a very high possibility that before the day is out, I'll have been required to beat one or both of my useless teammates senseless. Our team isn't meant for frivolous tasks such as house painting. Nevertheless, evidently, this is all that genin are fit to do.
So as luck would have it, today just so happens to be the day that I have to wear one of my brand-new dresses to a mission because I procrastinated and didn't do my laundry, leaving me with nothing else to wear. It also happens to be the day where three lucky genin and a walking cancer stick have the fabulous, once-in-a-lifetime chance to paint a house! Oh, joy. I was saving this dress for my first date with Sasuke-kun, too…
Now things actually went a bit smoothly at first, when we only painted the spots that we could reach. We then realized that there was a slight problem. In our mission contract, we had unfortunately agreed to paint not just the arm's reach of the genin, but the entire house. In theory, smoke-stack-sensei could have painted the entire top part and finished before all three of us anyhow, but he insisted that this mission was for us alone, since D-rank missions are to help genin build teamwork. Funny how he still gets paid for our work.
So the bum gets an idea. He suggests that since we're each unable to reach that high alone, and Chouji's multisize jutsu burns too much chakra to paint the entire area we still missed, we should all stand on each other's shoulders and have the top person paint it. Naturally, that job just coincidentally falls to me. I mean, I suppose in the way he explains it, it does make perfect sense. Chouji's on the bottom because neither one of us can support his weight. And I'm on top because I'm just so much lighter than Shikamaru is.
So I'm painting the house, and actually making good time. If we keep this speed up, we'll be done by two in the afternoon. Not bad. My mind starts wandering. That's the ugliest paint color I've ever seen anyone use in my life. The clouds are nice. I think I'll have barbecue pork when I get home. And Shikamaru seems to be snoring.
I do a double take. I look downwards. I'm totally correct. That bum. That's why he wanted us to stand on each other's shoulders like this, after all. I was wondering why we didn't just use the ladder we were given for the job. Of course, I have to hand it to him. Who else can figure out a way to get paid for sleeping, and is willing to do it standing up while a person's standing on his shoulders?
At least Chouji seems to be awake. I'm correct in my assumption when he automatically moves after he sees I'm done painting in a particular area. So I go on painting for a while. We're almost done. Shikamaru's even stirring, and Chouji's snacking on some chips. Five more minutes and I'm home free.
Wait. Chips. Chips are greasy. Grease equals slippery. Slippery equals…
"Whoaaaaaaaaa!" I hear Shikamaru yell. His arms start flailing. He manages to regain his balance. I, on the other hand, am holding a paint bucket and a paintbrush. I, therefore, slip and fall. Onto the ground. It was probably too troublesome to catch me. And the bucket falls right on my head.
Chouji stares. Shikamaru stares. The cigarette falls out of Asuma-sensei's mouth and he doesn't even notice. My hair's dyed, my Dress is ruined, my skin is colored, and to top it all off, we were painting with the ugliest shade of Naruto-orange I'd ever seen in my life. Orange hair, orange dress, and soon to be orange shoved down Shika-kun's throat.
"Easy there, Ino, easy…" He backs away slowly. While I'm sure killing a fellow Leaf shinobi is against some sort of Konoha law, I'm sure there's exceptions made for maiming. And there's definitely maiming to be done.
After I'm done with Shikamaru, I start in on Chouji. I draw my kunai, because anything less wouldn't hurt him that much, anyhow. Asuma-sensei stops me, tries to convince me that deflating my teammate will result in permanent D-rank missions for me for the next decade or so. I grab the Jounin's flak jacket and yank him down till we're face level. He's smart, he won't reprimand me when there's paint dripping down my face, he knows better than that. I calmly assert that Ino-san was having a bad day, and it only got worse because of all the paint. Ino-san is never going on another mission involving paint. Is Ino-san understood? Good. Ino-san hopes this experience has been educational.
I knew this mission was gonna be the pits.
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A/N: Okay, so If you haven't seen it by now, I've already posted a preview to Sex and Sensuality, the story I'm gonna be working on when the first fifteen chapters of monologues are done. Just thought I'd stand on my soap box and hype myself. The writing style's gonna be similar to monologues: anything goes. Funny, serious, whatever fits the mood. So drop by and drop me a review, I'd really appreciate it.