-

Daniel settled after the Compazine kicked in, and Jack was extremely grateful. The poor kid was exhausted and needed a break. Daniel didn't seem to get many of those.

Jack stood in the door to his guestroom-turned-child's-bedroom and stared. Daniel's eyes were closed and he liked peaceful and so small. So innocent.

Children always made him forget about the bad things that happen in the world. Yet, at the time, he couldn't help worrying about how all those bad things could hurt a child.

Kill a child, even.

Jack preferred to not think about Charlie. He liked to try and focus on the good things, not dwell on the last image of his son that continued to haunt him.

Jack wasn't sure why he'd been so quick to volunteer to become Daniel's next foster parent. Mrs. Parker had been able to push the request through quickly, hooking him up directly with Daniel's social worker. Jack had been adamant. He had to take care of Daniel.

He needed to take care of Daniel.

Jack had lots of patients. They ranged from infants to teenagers. Various kids that wandered into the ER with parents or other loved ones, suffering from different ailments that requiring his expertise. And he valued and liked every one, even the whiners and the biters, including the ones that drew blood. They were children, still innocent. Jack's job wasn't easy. In the end, he couldn't always save every one. But he tried. Tried to patch them up and put them back into the arms of loving mommies, daddies, aunts, uncles, grandparents.

Daniel didn't have of those people. Jack had done his job and fixed him up, but there was no one waiting with open arms. Mrs. Parker was very nice, but she wasn't a mother. She was doing a service, doing it the best she could.

Maybe that's why Jack wanted Daniel from the start. Daniel had no one.

And neither did Jack. They'd both came home to a bed at the end of the day, but it wasn't the one they wanted, or needed.

If Charlie'd had no one ...

Jack shuddered at the thought. He'd been living alone since Sara packed up her things and left in a trail of tears, anger, and guilt.

Jack felt guilty, too. Probably always would.

He made his way back to his room and tried to sleep, but it didn't work. He lay awake and stared at the ceiling.

Then, at six a.m., he got a bad feeling.

Something was wrong.

It was the same foreboding feeling he'd felt seven years previous when he'd been signing off charts at the nurses station in the ER, joking with the resident he was teaching. When the ambulance pulled into the bay and he saw Sara, red blotched and almost hysterical ...

Jack shot out of bed and headed straight for Daniel's room.

The eight-year-old was moaning. Clutching his stomach. In less than thirty-seconds, Jack flung the comforter off the bed and was yanking Daniel's pajama top up.

The stitches weren't infected. They weren't irritated. But that wasn't Jack's concern.

Daniel's abdomen was distended. A gentle touch yielded a hiss from Daniel and the boy opened his eyes.

" Jack? ' urts," he mumbled.

"I know," Jack soothed and pulled Daniel's pj bottoms and underwear down a little more. It was dark, but Jack thought he saw a slightly pale mass.

His first thought was hernia or some other type of bowel obstruction. And it wasn't getting any better. He almost panicked a moment, but managed to hold the hysteria at bay. He was a doctor. He was Daniel's doctor.

So, instead, he bundled Daniel up and into the car, and called ahead to the ER as he drove, not caring that he was going at least twenty miles over the speed limit.

--

The ER tended to be quiet around six in the morning. The midnight madness was over and traffic accidents that came from rush hour had yet to occur. It was just after shift changes, so those medical personal on duty were still bright-eyed and smiling.

Jack came in, took a glance at the board to see which exam room was free, called for a nurse, and then charged off, placing Daniel gently down on the empty gurney.

" Dr. O'Neill? "

He looked up from settling Daniel. "Shelly," he said, acknowledging her. " Great. I'm going to need to get some blood drawn, a CBC— "

She shook her head. " You can't. "

He stopped. " What do you mean I can't? Now, like I said, I'm going to need a CBC— "

"Jack, she's right. "

Jack turned at the new voice. Carter stood in the doorway, still dressed in slightly stained scrubs, most likely coming straight from surgery or recovery. He narrowed his eyes.

" What are trying to say? Daniel is my patient. "

" Was your patient," Carter challenged. "You discharged him and now you are his legal guardian. You can't treat him. You're too close. "

Jack should his head. His voice was stubborn." I am not. Now what does it take to get some blood drawn around here?" Neither Shelly or Carter moved. Fine, I'll do it myself. Jack moved over to the supply cabinet. Sam stopped him, stepping forward and grabbing his arm.

" You need to step aside, Jack. "

" I do not!" he said to her. " I'm perfectly capable of treating Charlie! "

There was silence in the room and Carter let go of his hand as he realized what he had just said. He swallowed.

" Oh God," he whispered. "Daniel. I mean Daniel." He looked at Carter. " Daniel. "

She nodded. " Right, Daniel. Shelly will get Collins. He's the pediatric attending on duty. He's good, you know that. "

He nodded, trying very hard to keep it together. " Collins is good," he agreed softly.

" I think you should step outside a minute, Jack. Daniel needs you to. "

He nodded again, as if on autopilot. " Bowel obstruction. I think Daniel has a bowel obstruction. "

"That's good. I'll tell Collins that. You need to sit down, Jack. "

Daniel stirred on the gurney and Jack turned to him. He swallowed again, the lump in his throat not going away. He needed to calm down a minute. He let Carter lead him of the room and to a chair at the admit desk.

" I'm going to talk to Collins and check on Daniel. Will you be okay? "

He heard Carter's words, and knew he nodded, but his head was somewhere else.

Daniel wasn't Charlie ...

" When you're a resident, nurses are little more forgiving. But only so forgiving. Right, Shelly? "

Jack turned from his newly acquired resident slid the chart into the proper place. Shelly popped her head up and laughed. " Right, Dr. O'Neill. You learned that fast, that's for sure."

Jack heard a voice behind him. "We have an incoming. Eleven year old male, GSW to the head. O'Neill, Taylor went home sick, can you help out? "

Jack felt a sense of dread kick up inside of him. He knew this one was bad and probably would not end well. He jogged over towards the ambulance bay, mentally running through trauma treatments for head injuries.

That's when the ambulance pulled up and he saw Sara.

Jack had had a gun when he was the military. Standard issue, nothing fancy. When he was discharged, he kept it around. He went off to college and med school, met Sara, got married. When Charlie was on the way, he toyed with the idea of getting rid of the gun, but Sara's father told him not to.

"A man's gotta protect his family," the older man had told him. The world's a scary place. Just last week on the news a psycho broke into some guy's home to rob him and ended up killing his wife in the process. The guy had no means to defend himself.

Jack wasn't so sure, but his father-in-law was already close to not liking him. So Jack locked the gun in a drawer next to the bed. The key was hidden in Sara's jewelry box. He thought it was safe.

"You need to step outside, Jack. "

" There's no other pediatric M.D. on duty! I need to help! "

" No, you don't. He's your son. You're too close and not thinking straight. You need to step aside. "

" I do not! I'm perfectly capable of treating Charlie! "

Nothing was safe. No matter how hard a parent tries, they can't protect their children from everything.

Charlie and his friend had found the key. Sara heard the gun shot from the kitchen. Charlie was eleven; Charlie didn't need constant supervision anymore.

Charlie died.

Sara couldn't deal with it. Jack blamed himself for not getting rid of the gun when he'd first been thinking about it. Fights ensued.

But, in the end, Charlie was still gone and he'd taken their marriage with him. Almost six months after it happened, on Charlie's birthday, Sara cleared out her things and left.

The divorce was simple. She didn't want much; he willing to give her what she asked for.

Jack dealt with Charlie the only way he knew how. He stopped talking about him, poured his energy into his patients. Into other people's children. Other people's worries. Jack tried to fix them, patted them on the head, returned them back into the world and let someone deal with the consequences.

That is, until Daniel.

Jack swallowed again, his brain slowly returning to the present. Daniel.

Daniel was different. Daniel wasn't Charlie.

Daniel needed him. No, that wasn't it.

Jack needed Daniel.

" Jack? "

He picked his head up from his hands and looked up. Carter smiled at him.

" Daniel is asking for you. "

Jack blinked a moment. " Is he okay? "

" Collins is still running some tests. But he agrees with your diagnosis. He thinks it's an obstruction, probably a post-op complication. He wants to put in a NG tube, but Daniel's scared. "

Of course Daniel was scared. Having a tube shoved down your nose and throat and into your stomach wasn't Jack's idea of a good time. And Daniel was eight. " I'm coming," he said calmly and pushed himself up off the chair.

He needed to do his job. And right now, his job was being there for his kid.

--

NG tubes were nasty and just plain unpleasant, especially for children, and Daniel was no exception. The eight-year-old had had one for two days post-surgery, but Jack knew Daniel didn't remember it since he'd been feverish and out of it. The tube had been yanked as soon as possible. So the prospect of putting a tube up his nose was an entirely new and scary idea for Daniel.

Jack rubbed Daniel's back. " It shouldn't hurt, Daniel," Jack soothed. " It won't be fun, but we need to drain your stomach to make you feel better. "

" I don't wanna," Daniel whined, tears threatening. Jack knew this experience would be even worse if he couldn't get Daniel to calm down.

"You'll feel better, you'll get to go home. We didn't finish building all those Lego sets," he tried.

" Will you teach me to play baseball?" Daniel asked, his blue eyes pleading with Jack. They felt like they were boring through his soul and Jack almost had to look away. But he didn't. He couldn't.

" Of course. Gotta get you ready for Little League next year. It's an American kid's pastime. "

Jack didn't know why that got through, but Daniel suddenly smiled, big and wide.

" Next year," he whispered. " Okay. "

Daniel let them insert the tube. Daniel even let them take more blood and fiddle with his IV. Jack was amazed.

" You're one brave kid," he told Daniel.

Yes, Daniel was not Charlie.

Daniel was Daniel.

Jack managed to bite his lip and sit by, catching himself from jumping in and ordering this, that, or the other thing. He was a doctor by profession.

He was a parent, first.

He smiled at that thought hours later as he sat next to Daniel's bed and stroked the sleeping boy's blond hair. He thought back to when Charlie had the flu and he and Sara had taken turns sitting with him. Holding him while he threw up, hugging him when he cried out.

Just watching him as he slept, his little body slightly shaking from the fever.

He missed Charlie. Missed the boy with all his heart and soul. Ached for something he'd lost. He let Sara walk away. He had watched her move on, remarry, give birth to a baby girl.

And he'd had stagnated. Watching over people's children grow up, get sick, get better, die. Saw himself get older. Get grayer till every strand of brown was a memory. Let forty pass and another piece of himself get buried in the dirt of Charlie's grave.

Would Daniel want him? Would Daniel want a guy who could never completely let go of his dead son's spirit? Daniel, who had already lost so much himself – lost his parents, lost his home.

His childhood was disappearing before it had ever begun.

Jack looked down at the child, looking so small in the hospital bed.

" Jack? "

He looked up and saw Janet standing in the doorway.

"Sam called me", she told him. "She's worried about you. "

" I'm okay," he told her. " Okay, I wasn't for a while, but I am now. And Daniel's doing great. "

"So I've heard." Janet walked in and stood next to his chair. "They're so peaceful when they're sleeping, aren't they? "

"Yeah," Jack agreed softly. " You almost forget that there's so many things that can go wrong in their short lives. "

" So much." There was a silent a moment before Janet spoke again.

"You have to let Charlie go, Jack. Or you'll never see what's right in front of you. "

Jack shook his head. "That's where you're wrong. I see it. I've known the kid for barely nine days and I see it. "

Janet put a head on his shoulder. " Mom'll like him. Spoil him rotten, I think. "

"I hope she does. He deserves it." He smiled. " You think Charlie would be upset if I kept him? "

Janet only grinned. " I think he'd be happy to have a little brother. "

" Yeah", Jack agreed and looked back towards the bed. " I can't promise I'll be able to protect you from everything, Daniel, but I sure as hell can try. If you'll let me." He swept his hand across Daniel's forehead and was surprised when blue eyes cracked open.

" I will," Daniel whispered.

For Jack, it was more than he'd ever hoped for.