A/N.
I am SO sorry that it took me so incredibly long to update. In between a new job and HBP I have been extremely busy. Not to mention it is very odd to write about Severus Snape now that practically everyone has digested HBP. Nevertheless I did promiss myself that I would finish the story no matter what and I will simply have to adapt certain plots I had in mind.
A great big THANK you to all those that have left reviews. I love every last one of them. This is a real in betweener that should give away a bit of the plot if you read carefully enough. I am regrouping the characters so expect a bit of a different twist from now on.
To anyone that wishes to beta, Id love a beta but Im not active enough to go pimp my story everywhere begging for help. So if youd like to beta, please let me know.
Chapter 7: Misguided
Much to Severus displeasure he did not see Lily again this holiday, he was stuck at Malfoy Manor for the remaining of the holiday, barely surving a travesty of a Social Gathering where Florence Meadows tried her very best to seduce him. He was unhappy to leave the only source of information on his parents but he was most glad to get out of Malfoy Manor, where who you knew was the most important thing.
Lilys holidays could not have ended worse. She did not get a confession out of her father about why she could not see Severus anymore and she had even neglected to say goodbye to him when she left on Platform 9 ¾ . Part of her foul temper was the fact that she had not seen Severus again that holiday and when they finally did return to Hogwarts, Owl panic was errupting everywhere. Teachers did nothing to help, except if you count more and more homework as a form of helping out.
On the very first evening back Lily had decided to leave for the library a bit earlier as she wanted to catch up on her Charms work a bit more before the OWLs would start. After wich she would have a last night of working with Severus on their DADA assignment.
When she made her way for the Advanced Charms section the one person whos eyes and gaze
she had been avoiding sat there, happily reading a book. Remus Lupin gave his girlfriend (who Lily recognized as Jeanny Greengrass, a sweet blond Hufflepuff girl and a Prefect) a last kiss. She smiled up at Lily in passing.
"Remus" Lily said
"Lily" he answered.
She wanted to settle down with "Wicked Achievements in Charms" but she couldn't focus. After 15 minutes she was still looking at the Index, her tongue dry but her mind was racing with a thousand things she wanted to say. For all the nerve she possessed in this world, they seemed to have shrunken to nothing. Yet she had to say something. Anything.
"Come on Evans, say something, he wont bite" her inner snake jeered her on.
"Remus I just wanted to …" she began just as he opened his mouth and said "Lily, I have to say…"
They both looked up at another and Lily started to laugh, unable to help herself while Remus smiled broadly.
"You go first" he said.
"I just wanted to say thank you, obviously you have not yet said anything to Potter seen as - "
"Snape is still unscratched" Lupin finished her sentence.
"I really appreciate it, it would be quite something, well you know what this school is like"
"Indeed I do. And I am not one to take other peoples secrets lightly but I have to at the very least warn you – "
" I was afraid you might"
"Lily, what if word gets out, do you really think youll be able to stand your ground?"
"I think so" she said, bearing the slightest tone of getting annoyed.
" Do you really? Do you understand what would happen?"
"I …"
"Not only would the Slytherins be slightly annoyed with Severus, to say the least, but the Gryffindors would ofcourse react simular to you. Now we know none of our house would
fysically hurt you but can you expect Slytherin house to be so understanding with Severus?"
Lily frowned, she hadnt even thought of that. She had thought of a lot of things. But the thought fysical hurt hurt to Severus hadnt crossed her mind.
"Severus is very capable of taking care of himself" she decided.
"Believe me, I have witnessed this myself", said Lupin, "But it will be the majority of his
' friends' versus himself wich is quite a difference from Sirius having a go at him"
" I know"
"Do you love him?" Lupin suddenly asked.
"Yes I do".
"Why?"
" Because he is different then anyone I have ever met. He is smart, he is kind to me, he doesnt care I am muggleborn …he – "
"Unless I am very much mistaken, so does James"
"Dont go there Remus, I know what youre trying to do." Lily whispered, looking up as footsteps were moving along in between the rows of books behind them.
They both turned their heads briskly to see Madame Pince lurking behind them, inspecting books that had been returned to the library as she put them back in their rightful place. Muttering to herself about punishing those that manhandled "innocent covers and helpless books"
"I wish youd think about it Lily I mean when you think about it he also is – "
"An egocentric, stubborn, bully who likes to pick on people who he thinks are weaker then him"
Remus gave Lily a nod, allowing her to take in what she had just said and let it sink
Lily knew exactly what he ment. She could not say in honesty that Severus was innocent of such behavior.
"I .. you're right" she admitted.
"Im not trying to influence you here Lily, you are quite capable to decide for yourself", Lupin said kindly as he lay he hand on her shoulder and smiled, " but I can only tell you not to exclude what your mind tells you is wise when it comes to making decisions of the heart"
Lily felt insecure about her relationship with Severus for the first time. She knew that Remus Lupin had a point. If anyone was ever going to find out and telltale it would be excruciatingly difficult. But she didnt want to think of how right Lupin was, she didnt want to think of the surviving chances her relationship with Severus had.
"Thank you" was all she could managed as they both stood up. Unable to identify where the sudden emotion came from, she threw her arms around him and gave Remus a heartwarming hug, which he gently returned.
- - -
Severus Snape was in a particulary good mood. Not only did he have a good round in Potions, in wich he had outsmarted Professor Slughorn on the use of Honeysuckled Horns but he also had an evenings worth of work on the DADA assignment with Lily. He knew she'd probably had beaten him to the library already and sure enough when he entered and stalked the row of books he could hear her voice. It was accompanied by another more hoarse voice and as he heard who it was, his breath caught in his longues.
"Do you love him?" came the voice of Lupin Remus. Before Severus could spy on her answer he heared shuffling footsteps and threw himself in the darkest shadows he could find.
When the old bat had moved on he pressed himself to hear more of the conversation
"I wish youd think about it Lily I mean when you think about it he also is – "
"An egocentrical, stubborn, bully who likes to pick on people who he think s are weaker then him"
His mind went completely blank when he looked up again between Seeers Devine and Finding The Future and saw that not only did Remus Lupin have the nerve to badmouth him to Lily. She, in her turn had embraced him.
He thought of hexing Remus Lupin as he saw him make his way out of the library but realized there was more then enough time to do that in a more public location.
The nerve of that filth to do this to Severus, while Severus had never done anything to him but ignore the fact that he never did anything to stop his precious friends from humiliating him. A foul beast was roaring from the pit of his stomach, urging him on to do horrible things to the already scarred face of that filthy Gryffindor. And she. How dare she of all people!
Inside him there was still a rage battling as he walked upto the table where Lily was sitting several minutes later.
"Hello Severus" she said as she smiled up at him broadly as he sat down opposite of her.
" Evans" he sneered, ignoring the shocked look on her face.
"Severus what is –"
"I think I have sufficiently covered the last part on the Imperius Curse during our last meeting. I dont think there is any need for more work tonight, I just thought Id present my copy of our assignment to you and let you adapt it so that your work can at least try to be of the same quality as mine. " he said monotonous and still not looking up.
"Severus I dont understand – "
She tried grabbing his hand but he only pulled it away from her even further, scratching her hand pretty badly with his quill in the process. When he heard her gasp and clap her hand, he looked up. Her face was bewildered and in shock.
"What have I done wrong?" she whispered.
"Nothing I shouldnt have expected from a mudblood like you." he said without the slightest tone of remorse in his voice.
Her eyes were now filled with tears, but he suspsected it had little to do with the fact that blood was flowing from the great slash he had caused on her hand. He smiled malicously up at the tears that were now streaming on her face and watched her run out of the Library with a mixture of vengence, pleasure and downright guilt.
Lily fought back more tears as she made her way to the Hospital Wing, only to avoid more questioning looks then she was already getting. Luckily Madame Pomfrey was both very capable (it only took a single flick of her wand for the wound to heal) and she wasnt very nosy. Though Lily did catch her looking very inquiring, she did not ask her any questions.
She could however, not understand what made Severus behave the way he had just done. All the way back up to Gryffindor Tower did she think about what could have happened to make Severus behave the way he had just done but after she had given the Fat Lady the password (cobblestone) and had climbed into the portrait hole she decided it was time for bed rather then time to worry.
But Lily had slept so uneasy and so little that she woke up with the feeling that she would have done better not to go to bed at all. But the worst thing of all was the fact that she had a lovely hour of Potions up ahead, which they shared with the Slytherins as they always had done on Wednesday.
And as usual Professor Slughorn was enthousiastic untill the point of positively booming. His walruslike moustache curled in delight as he announced that they would be brewing a Purifying Potion, a Potion wich was mostly used to identify the different ingredients in a poison.
Lily knew this would be an easy one but she preferred not loose her concentration anyway as it always had been so that students had ended up with a few hairs less or a few singed clothes when they lost concentration and she did not fancy going to Madame Pomfrey again soon.
When they were halfway (or were supposed to be) through the process of their Potion, Professor Slughorn had thought of the brilliant idea of a Pop Quiz. Several people around Lily grunted and she saw Severus sink back into his chair looking completely and utterly relaxed.
"Who here can tell me about Newtans Rule?" Professor Slughorn asked loudly, looking those he expected to be able to answer the question in the face. Severus raised his hand.
"Yes Severus m'boy go ahead"
"Newtans Rule says that plants, fungi, and shrubbery that have been raised from your own care and in your own garden are preferred for use in your Potions rather then ingredients acquired from others"
"Absolutely correct, 20 points to Slytherin" he beamed up at Severus, "Now can anyone tell me why this is ?"
Lily raised her hand automatically and Slughorn waved his hand up at her.
"Miss Evans"
"This is said to be so because the magical link is much stronger when the keeper of the plants is the same as the one that harvests them and uses them for a Potion "
"Enchantingly correct, have 20 points to Gryffindor" Slughorn roared, clapping his hands together.
Below, a Slytherin Lily recognized as Yaxley whispered something to Severus who sniggered in an odd sort of way.
"Whatever it is you can share it with us " Professor Slughorn said, unable to recognize the dangerzone he just entered.
"I was just telling Severus how amazing it is that, quite like dogs, you can train Mudbloods too" Yaxley said looking up at Lily unabashed.
Something had exploded in the classroom., several things happened at once. Lily saw James Potter throw his chair back and pointing his wand up at Yaxley, Peter Pettigrew had clasped his hand infront of his mouth and Remus Lupin was holding back a struggeling Sirius Black while most of the Slytherins were roaring with laughter.
"ENOUGH" boomed the voice of Professor Slughorn. The whole class fell silent immediately except for the Slytherins who were finishing up their gales of laughter with a few good sniggers.
Slughorn was now pointing his wand to his throat and said "Quietus".
"Yaxley there is never any need for such language in my class, if you do so ever again you will find yourself scrubbing the bedpans in the Hospital Wing, without magic" he said looking very cross indeed.
"Thats it?" an angry voice came from behind Lily, who closed her eyes in fright when she recognised it.
"Thats it?", James Potter repeated, " he insulted Evans and he gets away with it?"
"Mr. Potter I hardly think it is any business of yours to tell me how to run my class is it now?" Slughorn said.
"You Slytherins are all the same - " James started but was interrupted, much to the delight of the Slytherins , by Remus Lupin.
"James, for once, please hold your tongue"
" I'd listen to him if I were you Potter. You really are out of place here to talk about getting away without punishment" came the sneering voice of Severus.
"While you little greasy – " came the voice of Sirius Black who was halfway through jinxing Snape when he keeled over rigid as a board.
It was that wich unleashed the whole class into the realm of chaos. Hexes were flying around freely and Professor Slughorn had to use quite a few Full Body Bind curses to stop it all from escalating even more.
Lily tried to keep her head cool but she noticed how Florence Meadows was aiming for Remus Lupins back and before she knew what she was doing; Lily had sent a Jelly Legs Jinx her way causing Florence to jiggle all the way up and down, squirming for help.
She took her eyes of the dancing Florence as she saw that Severus was now taking aim at James Potter. Her conscience tore her apart but she decided that if Severus was going to be mad at her shed give him a reason and took aim for Severus. He too keeled over rigid as a board.
Professor Slughorn had neither been kind nor forgiving. Everyone involved in the fight (and that was just about the whole class) had been giving a detention. Lily noted hers down as cauldron scrubbing duty the next day.
- - -
Severus Snape made his way to the Potions Dungeon once more next day, feeling more then displeasure when he thought back at how the previous day had ended. He couldnt care less that he had received detention, it were the words of Zabini that had made him so angry.
All day yesterday, each time they were alone, Zabini had taken great pleasure in announcing how Lily had hexed him.
When he swung open the doors to the dungeons, he only became more disgruntled when he saw who he was sharing his detention with. Lily. Slughorn was either completely blind to what had happened or he was doing this on purpose.
"Severus , please sit down and start your detention" Slughorn said, who was clearly trying not to show his usual favoritism.
After have an hour scrubbing, Slughorn stood up and said " I have business to attend to in the Headmasters office, but I will only be away for 10 minutes, I am sure you two will be able to control yourself, if not I will be seeing you two in here each day for the rest of this month"
Severus kept glancing up at Lily from the corner of his eye and saw how she kept tossing back her long red hair so it wouldnt end up in her way.
"Did you enjoy following the great lead of your Gryffindor cohorts by hexing me?" he said, taking even himself by surprise at what he had just said.
She turned around and he was suprised to see how angry she looked.
"I did, actually. I figured since you had an completely unobvious reason to be angry at me, I might aswell give you an obvious one too"
"I have always known Gryffindors were unsubtle but you top the lot of them Evans."
"You have absolutely no idea what the hell youre talking about … Snivellus…" she said.
She drew herself up to her conciderable length and Snape flared up.
" I see youre fitting in perfectly with your new friends already, how does it feel to be part of Potters gang now?", he sneered, "I didnt know Potter would share his girlfriend with Remus Lupin though"
Lily looked like she had just been slapped in the face. She even staggered on her feet.
"Is this what its all about? Remus Lupin?"
"I am glad to see you caught on, finally"
"Severus, did you spy on us in the library?"
" I didnt have to spy, you were talking so loud anyone could have overheared you two"
"What did you hear?" Lily asked, throwing her hair back roughly.
"You. Complimenting me how wonderfully egocentric and stubborn I am. " Severus said with an uncontrollable sneer.
"If you would have actually listened in properly, Severus Snape, you would have also heard that it wasnt about you we were talking, but about James Potter. In fact, Remus Lupin had just told me that I am free to chose whoever I love ."
Severus looked up at her, his eyebrow raised, looking and sounding a lot braver then he felt.
"Dont lie to me Evans"
" I am not lying Severus! Have I ever lied to you?"
Severus did not know what to answer, ofcourse she hadnt but he felt a sort of vindictive pleasure on how he was making her pay for what she had done.
"Answer me!" she hissed, "if I mean anything to you , if our relationship means anything to you, now is the time to show it Severus."
She was now so close to him he could count her eyelashes.
"Severus Snape, does our relationship mean so little to you that you will not believe my word on this?"
He didnt answer. Partially because the animal inside him was still screaming out that he needed more revenge, partially because he did not know what to answer. When he didnt answer, he saw, for the second time in a much too short period, how the eyes he loved so much filling up with great big tears.
Before he could react to it, the door swung open and Professor Slughorn entered back in, a Crystalised Pineapple clutched in his big hands.
"That will do, that will do" he said jovially, waving his wand and the cleaned cauldrons zoomed on top of eachother and back into the corner of the room.
Severus felt empty though strangely satisfied when he saw how Lily walked up to Gryffindor Tower, alone.
- - -
Two weeks went passed before guilt starting taking big swipes at Severus. He would never admit it, but the days he spent without having a meeting with Lily to look forward to, were days that passed as if they were months. He cought himself looking at her during breakfasts and dinners, wondering how on earth she could look so normal. She was even laughing at some idiot comments that silly McKinnon girl kept making. It unnerved him more than anything.
But one morning presented a nice distraction for Severus, a haughty looking Eagleowl landed right infront of him, a roll of parchment bound to its leg. Severus quickly untied it before Zabini had even more time to be curious.
Severus,
Please send me, by return owl , the date of your next Hogsmeade visit.
I have some more news on the things we discussed in the Christmas Holidays, as long
as you understand that this is not common knowledge or information, I will be happy to
share it with you.
Sincerely,
Lucius Malfoy.
- - -
The day of the Hogsmeade visit arrived leaving Severus in an even gloomier then before, if possible. Perhaps it was the way disgustingly happy couples were glued to eachother as if they were hit with a Permanent Sticking Charm. The fluffy pink decorations didnt help either. Werent all witches supposed to be obsessed with Valentines Day? Why hadnt she said anything yet?
Severus decided to use the Disillusioment Charm once more to avoid any questions and sneaked out behind the last batch of students that made their way to the town.
Only when he had reached the point where he was supposed to meet Lucius did he lift the Charm. As expected, only a mere few seconds later, Lucius Malfoy apparated out of nowhere, trademark smirk on his face and malicious glint in his eyes.
"Ah Severus, how good of you to meet me here" he drawled, grabbing Severus hand and shaking it briefly. Lucius scanned the surroundings with a swift sweep of his cold grey eyes.
"These documents that I promised you are a copy of orginal documents of a Wizarding Authority in Britain. As you very well understand, I can not provide you with the original. Yet I would appreciate it if you did not share them with anyone." Lucius said putting stress on words in the right places.
Severus nodded, stuffing the roles of parchment in his pocket. Before he could ask the question that had been burning the answer apparated out of nowhere.
"Ah Fudge, good to see you" Lucius said lazily, shaking Fudges hand.
A pudgy little wizard wearing a pinstriped cloak and a limegreen bowlerhat turned on the spot.
"Fudge I want you to meet a dear friend of mine, Severus." Lucius said.
"How do you do " Fudge said to Severus, extending a hand. Severus noticed the man had a weak smile, an even weaker handshake and a slightly dazed look on his face.
"Now Severus, I shall have to meet you again later, I have business to attend to with Cornelius" drawled Lucius, inclining his head slightly to Fudge.
"Another excellent occasion to visit 'The Snakesbelly' " thought Severus.Bestowed with the usual customers, The Snakesbelly was perfect if you wanted a quiet place to yourself, undisturbed by nosy students.
Unrolling the piece of parchment Severus reprimanded himself not to expect too much, as to avoid disappointment later on.
December 2nd, 1962.
Closed hearing as part of the trial of Tobias Snape, hereafter referred as The Accused.
Judges present:
Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore: Supreme Mugwump, Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Member of the Wizengamot. Hereafter referred to as APWBD.
Cornelius Oswald Fudge: Junior Member of the Department of Magical Catastrophies, Member of the Wizengamot. Hereafter referred to as COF.
Witnesses for the Defence
Abraxas Malfoy, hereafter referred to as AM
Witnesses for the Prosecution:
Gregory Prime, hereafter referred to as GP.
The Accused stands trial for the murder of Eileen Prince- Snape, his spouse.
The Accussed is said to have willingly, knowingly and fully understanding of his actions, to have administered Eileen Prince-Snape a deadly Potion and/ or Poison resulting in the death of Eileen Prince-Snape.
The Accused claims that he had no Potionskills that would suffice to brew such a Poison.
APWBD acknowledges this, as The Accused did not receive an owl in Potions.
GP states that in his field of work accidental poisonings have never occurred and readymade Poisons and Potions can be bought .
AM points to the Accuseds clean record, Both APBWD and COF acknowledge this.
COF asks GP on details of his findings on this matter.
GP explains how they managed to find an almost nonexisiting trace of a poison called "Serpentines Shadow"in Mrs Prince-Snapes body. He furthermore explains on how the Poison leaves a small hint on what the poison was mixed with and also a tiny bit of DNA of the culprit. He concludes with the fact that there had been a positive match with the DNA of the Accused.
AM points out that a Lie-Detecting Charm and Veritaserum has been used on The Accused and that neither of them proved the Accused as guilty
The Judges state that the verdict will take place tomorrow at noon.
December 3rd 1962
After careful consideration and taking in mind the previous hearings, the jury has decided that Tobias Snape is guilty on the account of Murder on his wife, Eileen Prince-Snape.
The sentence will be , taking into consideration the Accuseds clean record and his pre-arrest time, a sentence of no more then 8 years in Azkaban Prison.
The Jury is convinsed that the testimony of GP in his role as head of the Departement of Potions and Mixtures has proved that Tobias Snape is guilty as charged.
AM requests to know why they have left the Lie Detecting Charm and the Veritaserum out of their decision.
APBWD answers that the Jury has their reasons to question the credibility of the these pieces of evidence.
The Accused is read the verdict and is taken away by guards to Azkaban Prison.
COF declares the trial and hearing as closed.
Dazed, Severus let the piece of parchement glide from between his fingers.
So this is what happened, Lucius was right, his father had not been giving a fair trial. Why had they left out the evidence of his innocence. Why had they ignored the Lie Detecting Charm and Veritaserum?
The Headmaster of his own school had sentenced this father to a stint in Azkaban. Because he had his reasons to suspect.
Severus was slowly reaching boiling point as he stepped out of the SnakesBelly, he furiously wished Black would turn up and would give him an outlet for his fury. He leaned against a tall lamp post, a million things rushing through his mind, none of them making any sence.
Instead he renewed his Disillusioment Charm and sneaked back into the castle. He thought about heading back for his dorm but he knew that the walls had too many eyes and ears there. So there was only one place left for him.
"I need some time alone, I need some time alone, I need some time alone" he though, pacing
up and down infront of a blank piece of wall.
When the wall had finally become a door and Severus stepped in, he saw that he was not alone.
- - -
Lily had returned from Hogsmeade early. She had shared no enthousiam to hang around with Alice and "Franky-Panky" at Madame Puddifoots.
Florish and Blotts had been her only stop on her way to the castle where she bought a battered old book of wich she was even unsure shed ever need it.
The Room of Requirement was a great hide out. She doubted many people knew of this wonderfull room but she was thankfull so because the last thing she wanted to do was to walk into Danny Davies and his girlfriend of the month.
Severus.
Who wouldnt believe her.
It was a source of great annoyance, his behavior, yet she was more sad about it then anything.
Tears were born in the corner of her eyes, slowly morphing into big fat leaks.
She startled and turned to find just that person in the doorway wich had materialised out of nowhere.
" Oh its you" said Severus Snape.
"Yes its always a pleasure to see you too" Lily said, much snarkier then she felt.
They just looked at eachother, or in Severuss case, carefully avoiding Lilys eyes.
"I miss you" she suddenly said, not really waiting for a witty response she continued. "I really do miss you, it feels empty without you like – "
"Like everyone in this castle cant make up for missing your presence"
"Yes. And it seems like the last weeks passed like – "
"Like they were years?" he finished her sentence once more.
"Yes" she admitted, stepping closer to him.
"Im…."he started but she held two fingers upto his lips.
"I know you are" she said, as her lips touched his.
The kiss was unlike any other kiss they ever shared before. They seemed to melt together, their bodies were entangled like two snakes and neither of them was planning on letting the other one go first. The world seem stop turning and time seemed to have gone beserk.
After what seemed like days they let go of eachother.
"I brought you something" she whispered in his ear as he carried her towards the loveseat.
"What is it?"
"Youll need it next year, I saw this when I was shopping for my books at the beginning of this year" she said, handing him a grubby brown wrapped gift.
He tore the wrappings of and found a book called "Advanced Potions Making" inside.
"Thank you" he uttered, at this bout of confidence she has just shown him.
"I have something for you aswell" he said
Technically it wasnt a lie. He did have something for her only it wasnt really a gift nor had he planned on giving it to her.
H reached into his robepocket and got out the ring his mother had left him. It had exactly the same colour as her eyes.
He placed it around her finger and watched how her eyes grew in surprise.
"Severus its…gorgeous" she whispered.
"It used to be my mothers"
She looked stunned by this information and suddenly her face broke into a
malicious smile
" I have something else for you" she said.
"What is it?"
"Me"