Disclaimer: I don't own!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The two hoppits (Pogo and Ham) walked down a long pathway in a corn crop field that led out of the Spire.

"If I take one more step, I'll be the farthest away from home I've ever been," said Ham, taking a big bite of ham. He had been eating all of the rations since they had started their journey.

"What? I couldn't understand what you were saying because of the half- masticated ham rolling around in your wide open trap!" said Pogo, who'd had to endure Ham's most painful (and grotesque) moments, as told by Ham himself.

"You sniff too much cocaine, Pogo," said Ham. As there was no reply, Ham went on. "It really shows," said Ham.

'Thank you," said Pogo, and he really meant it. "You know, I spiked that water you're drinking," said Pogo with a smile. Ham immediately spit the water all over the place. Pogo began to laugh.

"I think I swallowed some!!!!!" he choked. Ham fell to the ground clutching his throat.

Often times Pogo did things like this for his own enjoyment. Just then there was a rustle in the corn crops. Ham screamed.

Out popped two hoppits who were called Hairy and Piping. "Hey, look at what we stole from Old man Jankens' farm!" Hairy said, holding up cocaine, dope, and some raw onions.

"We're saved!" Pogo cried, grabbing the little tube of cocaine. He immediately began to sniff some.

"Hang on a second," said Piping, who was opening up the bag of dope. "What is that noise?" Sure enough, there was a loud, fart- like noise in the distance.

"Get down!" Ham cried, and jumped under a tree root. Hairy and Piping followed him. "Pogo, come on," said Hairy, but Pogo was so high he didn't care anymore.

"Ouch, Ham, could you lose some weight? You're completely squishing me," said Piping. "Well, excuse me for being a little more well fed than you are!!!!!!!!!!!!" said Ham angrily. ( Ham weighs a metric ton!!!!!!!!!!)

"We will excuse you if you're making that smell!" said Hairy.

"What smell?" said Ham, who was used to those kinds of smells. Suddenly, a person wearing black and riding a black horse galloped passed them. All the others passed out at the stench of the black rider's fart.

Pogo, however, chased after the rider, calling, "Do you have any cocaine? I seem to have finished mine!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Sorry that wasn't as funny as the first two chapters, but please review anyway!!!!!!!