A/N: HAPPY SOON TO BE HALLOWEEN!
…
…
BUWEAHHAAHAHH!
Thank you sooooooooooooooooooooo much to all who reviewed! Hands reviewers a slice of Akito's cake See? Reviewers get special treatment…Hint Hint
Anyyyywho! This would be the 4th CH! Part 1 of the Halloween Special! Buwahah! Yeah and just to warn ya, Akito get's quite…damaged in this one! But don't worry, he'll be good as new in no time! (Hahah, just kidding….)
READ ON AND REVIEW!
Something Crippled This Way Crawls. Part 1
CH 4
Hmmmm….Oh lookie, the news is on!
Oh how I gurgled with pleasure! The news always has depressing things on!
Huh.
But for some abnormal reason, the man looked quite ecstatic while talking. (Damn his happiness!)
" And the weather looks great for Halloween tomorrow, so get out there kiddies and start trick or treating!"
………….
………..
Hall…
O……
What?
…….
Weenie?
……
Did that man just say Hall Of Weenie?
That sick bastard.
I quickly turned off the television with the remote and slowly heaved myself off the therapeutic cushion on the tatami floor.
5 minutes later, after successfully standing up on my own, I looked around the house…..
…..
Hmm…….
Something was…….off.
Why were their pumpkins everywhere?
I looked again.
Holy dung……
They had FACES!
EVIL GRINNING ONES!
Gasping in terror (Which I much later regretted, I was out of breath for so very long!) I walked my pretty legs as fast as they would go to my Hatori Whore.
"HATORI!" I wheezed as I came upon his office.
Whore Tori stared at me oddly and raised an eyebrow from where he sat on his chair.
…..
Not even a freaking hint of worry on him!
THAT BASTARD!
"Akito-sama, what's wrong?" He inquired, standing up and walking over to me.
Oh yes, NOW you're worried! Why Whore Tori! Finally remembered that I PAY FOR YOUR SERVICES! HMM!
Trying to calm myself down (I don't think I could stand another stroke or heart attack) I stared back at my bitch.
"Hatori, my house is polluted with evil grinning PUMPKINS!
Hatori Whore stared at me quizzically for a few moments, then a look of realization came over his pretty face.
"Oh Akito, those are just decorations. There called "Jack-O-Lanterns".
The HELL! Decorations! For what! New years is still a few months away!
And what provoked the man to use demonic vegetables for decorations!
And here the sadist was worrying about the situation of my mind!
Seeing the look on my pale face, Hatori quickly explained;
" Akito-sama, it's for Halloween."
…..Halloween?
Sounds familiar, but I just can't recall from where.
Gather up breath Akito.
"What is this…..Halloween?" I questioned.
Whore Tori was quick to explain;
" It's a time when children dress up in frightening outfits and go house to house for candy. The whole holiday is supposed to be fear-provoking."
….
….
….
Candy?
Wow, it's been quite some time since I heard that word!
Gather up breath…..
"But why is it, Hatori, that I have not heard of such a holiday before this?"
"Well it's fall Akito. Normally your too bedridden to go anywhere."
I guess that makes sense.
……….But………
I'm not bedridden this fall.
Akito Smirk.
"I appreciate the information you provided me with Hatori. I'll be gone for a while. Goodbye." That being said, I turned from my whore and walked through the doors.
With a goal in my grasp!
Plenty of free time!
And an odd feeling in my chest!
…….
Oh wait.
I quickly pounded my chest a few times with my little fist.
Ahhhh! Beating.
Good as new!
Sometime later, I found myself in my darkened room, the phone in my grasp.
Who to phone with such a question……
…..
A solution quickly came to me! Wasting no time, I started to dial his number.
And finished dialing his number 4 minutes later.
One ring……..
Is EVERYONE so freaking LAZY to answer the phone straight away!
"WHY HELLO! Who wishes to speak to………..ME?" A flamboyant voice echoed from the other line, making my ears bleed a tad.
Dabbing my left ear with a soft cotton tissue I carried around with me, I was swift to reply.
"Greetings, Ayame."
And cue the intake of breath from Ayame.
"Akito-sama! What a pleasant surprise! To tell me things!" It spoke again, causing my other ear to give out a quiet "pop".
Hmm…that can't be good.
"I acquire your opinion, Ayame." I spoke.
"OHH! My opinion! I'm honored!" He squealed.
Oh how I detest him and his…….his…….WHORE-NESS!
Urgh, my ear is bleeding quite sufficiently now, better make this quick before I collapse.
"Halloween. Explain what the common attire is."
A few moments silence from the other end.
"Halloween?……..Akito………sama?" He inquired.
"Yes. Now enlighten me."
"Well………Last year I dressed as a serving wench! Cute, no?" He exclaimed, sounding joyful.
I trembled.
Bad psychological picture.
"But what is it that most offspring dress as! I'm getting aggravated Ayame!" I shrieked at him.
"Oh! Sorry! Well…….I know that witches are the most common……and ghosts, and many other gaudy things like that. I personally go for the more uncommon approach." He quickly explained.
Hmmmmmm uncommon approach?
Perfect.
"Goodbye Ayame."
"Akito-sama, wait! What are-"
I hung up the receiver and looked at my surroundings…
Something original……..and uncommon…..
But what?
I slithered my way over to my tiny window, which overlooked my precious garden, and a bit of that horrible gaudy strip of highwa-
I extended my neck as far as it would go to look further at the highway, and smirked.
What a brilliant plan, Akito.
It's unique, uncommon, fear provoking and quite smelly indeed.
But…….where to find such an outfit? I'm quite sure that no store would sell such an outfit.
Well maybe Ayame Slut's store. But why in the name of Sohma would I go there?
Perhaps a tour around the house would provide me with the answer I seek?
Nodding to myself in agreement, I turned around and walked out of my room.
And where did my search lead me?
To Hatori Whore's room of course!
After glancing through his dresser for a time, and sadly I came upon nothing.
I was just about to head back out and perhaps see if midget Momiji had anything of use, when something caught my eye.
Whore Tori's bed.
…..
….
And his hygienic, gray, flannel sheet.
I grasped the side of the sheet and pulled.
Unsuccessful.
…..
I pulled again.
….
….
Damnit!
Bracing my legs in a wide stance, I gripped the sheet with both of my hands and yanked.
Finally, it let go of the mattress thingy, but sadly my balance is not what is used to be like, and I found my bottom area hitting the hardwood floor with a 'crack'.
Yes; Crack.
A few minutes later, the pain settled in.
Ohhhhh my aching private area!
Take a deep breath and……..
"HATORIIII! HATOOOORRRIIII! IT HURTS HATORI!"
Oh dear me! I'm out of breath!
I quickly shook my head, I need to stay conscious until Hatori Whore gets here! If not, I may end up swallowing my tongue again!
"What's wrong, Akito-sama!" Hatori yelled, running to my side.
I looked up at him, still clutching my prized sheet close to my chest.
Cue the whimper.
Cue the tremble.
Anddd….
THUNK!
Ahhh beautiful, blissful, painless, unconsciousness!
Sometime later, I woke up and found myself staring up at a distressed looking Hatori Whore.
"I see that you are up. How are you feeling?" He inquired.
I thought that question over, and came up with this conclusion:
My ass bone hurt.
My front ass bone as well.
I managed a weak reply;
"Ass."
Hatori Whore sighed and nodded. "Yes, you fractured your tailbone, cracked your pelvis, and you have some serious bruising to your lower……….front.
I narrowed my eyes in frustration. Damn, stupid, meatless, ASS!
Oh but my whore wasn't finished!
"Oh yes. And I also found that you have gone temporarily deaf in your right ear. Care to explain?"
I nearly wept, this would surly mean that I could not go 'treat or tricking" tomorrow.
But wait…
I still had……it.
"Hatori!" I sneered.
Whore Tori looked over to where I lay in my bed.
"Yes?"
"Bring me my chair!" I demanded.
Hatori Whore looked puzzled.
"Your wheelchair? But, why? I assumed that you wished to be bedridden for the time." He replied, with a hint of fear in his eye.
I smiled my sexy sadist smile.
"I need it for tomorrow's "Treat the trick" or whatever it is….."
This got a raised eyebrow look from him.
Why are you QUESTIONING ME!
Obey your master bitch!
"But Akito, today is Halloween. You've been unconscious for a day."
…….
…….
Oh………shit!
Now I'm mad!
My ill health will NOT keep me from having pleasurable times in my youth!
I looked over and glared at my stupid, brainless, smelly bitch.
"I'M GOING OUT! BRING ME MY CHAIR!" I yelled.
Ohhhhh…..lightheaded…..
"Yes, Akito." He uttered, and started to head towards the door.
Wahoo! I'm on a roll!
"And bring me your gray sheet! And a servant!" I commanded him.
Hatori Whore exhaled noisily, nodded, and walked out of the room.
I smirked triumphantly. No one dare defies my word!
An hour later, I was instructing some foolish male slave on how to make my prize winning "Hall-O-Eeen" outfit.
The quivering man held up the sheet for my appraisal, and I nodded approvingly.
"Dress me." I ordered the slave, holding up my bare, pale arms from my place on my bed.
After some very uncomfortable positions, another hour later, I found myself dressed in my spooky outfit!
It consisted of Hatori Whore's gray sheet over me, witch two eyeholes cut out, with a painted yellow line down the middle. And to add some spice to it, a small design to look like a crack.
Yes.
I was a piece of highway.
Brilliant isn't it!
Oh how I will scare people feces-less!
Before I could bask more in my glory, Whore Tori came in, wheeling in front of him my endearing electric wheelchair!
And along with it, my precious doughnut shaped ass bone pillow for me to sit on!
Hatori Whore stopped once he was midway in the room, and stared at me, his eye growing bigger by the second.
Bloodcurdling, isn't it, my Whore Tori?
"Akito-sama………you aren't thinking about….." He didn't finish his statement, and instead settled with a frustrated sigh.
I smiled viciously under my covering, and held out my arms from my place on the futon.
"Up-ie." I demanded, nodding towards my chair.
Complying almost immediately, Hatori Whore lifted my gray clad from it's place on the futon, and placed me on my chair, sitting on the doughnut pillow.
Ohhhh how I missed my love so! I haven't sat in it since I last cracked my pelvis 2 months ago!
Smiling beneath my attire, I placed my pale bony hand upon the control thingy, and pushed it forward.
BUWHAHAHA!
Success!
I let out a tiny squeal of happiness, as I zoomed passed a shocked Whore Tori and out the doorway, leading towards excitement!
Successfulness!
Blissfulness!
Creepiness!
And closed doors!
………Oh bloody HELL!
I slowed down my chair and narrowed my eyes.
Damn those stupid doors.
Gather up breath.
"SERVANT! Open the DOORS!" I yelled in no one in particular.
A few seconds later, Hatori Whore came up behind me and opened the doors.
Buwhah! Yes! Obey your master like the dog you are!
I tilted my head and smiled, of course he couldn't see the smile under the outfit, so all the better.
Dashing past him, I wheeled my way outside, past the main gates, and unto the deserted road.
…..
…..
I slowed down a bit.
….
……………
And I was to go……..where, again?
Well, as Hatori Whore said, "house to house".
But which house? By now I was approaching a great many….
Oh look.
On pretty much each doorstep stood little evil children dressed in peculiar outfits!
And they all seemed to be carrying some sort of bag……
How peculiar indeed…..
Watching in wonder, I observed a very short boy dressed as what looked to be some sort of Mummy, who rang the doorbell thing, screamed some random stupid sentence when the door opened, and held out the bag he was carrying.
….
And then the person gave him candy.
…...
Hmm, seemed quite simple enough! No real physical effort involved, so I should fair well!
But, I do think I will need some sort of holder for the sweets.
Glancing around my surroundings, the only thing in plain view was one of those eerie "Light-O-Jack" things….
Gathering up my courage, I bent down as far as my broken body would allow, and seized the vegetable.
Taking a much needed deep breath, I lifted the thing.
Oh dear me, it's HEAVY!
Biting the inside of my mouth (Hmm, I taste blood now. Can't be good.) I heaved it the rest of the way up and set it on my gray clad lap, then slumped down and drew in haggard breaths.
A few minutes later, I nodded in fulfillment; it's now or never!
Moving forward, and ignoring the weight that now crushed my poor legs by that damn veggie, I approached the door.
Only one slight problem.
There was stairs.
……
DAMN THESE CIVILIANS! Haven't they ever freaking heard of handicap accessible alternatives!
…..DAMN THEM!
Okay, deep breaths, no point in having a stroke about it.
I just needed a solution!
And it lay by my feet!
Grinning, I bent over, minding my veggie and veggie like state I was in, and grasped the long stick.
Next I stared at the door and doorbell, and frowned.
Then you know what I did?
I threw the stick at the door of course!
And yelled a few profanities.
What did you expect me to do?
Almost immediately, the door was opened to revealed a elderly women.
"Ohhh lookie! It's a scary ghostie!" She beamed, flashing a smile.
….
A….
Ghostie?
I'm not dead yet!
Ohhh that's it bitch!
" I am no ghostie you sick, dying, old, I-crap-my-Depends SLUT!"
That was not hypercritical I tell you…
Oh but I wasn't finished with the thing;
"I am a piece of HIGHWAY! Now! Give me SWEETS!" I wailed, holding out my "O-Jacking-Lantern"
The woman was still smiling.
Why was the woman still smiling!
"Ohh your such a SCARY ghostie, little boy! Here, have a peanut!" She replied, threw a peanut at my head, and shut the door.
…..
I could only stare and try to keep my breathing under control.
Why?
Because right after screaming at the hag, I started hyperventilating.
Remind me not to try that again.
A few minutes later, my breathing was somewhat regular and I was able to steer away from the house and back down the street.
I patted my sweet bag thing in approval that now held my peanut, and leered
Go me.
Wahoo.
Glancing around, I saw another house to my left, and made my way over there.
Oh goodie, this person was actually smart and had no stairs!
….
Hmm…
But dear me…….what the hell was THAT on their doorstep!
Some sort of welcome mat?
….But why was it shaped like a stupid frickin' ghost?
Shrugging it off, I gently pushed forward on my wheelchair control and rolled onto it.
I had barely raised my foot to kick to door when all of a sudden; a horrible laughing noise came from beneath me.
FROM BENEATH ME PEOPLE!
Gasping in unspeakable terror, I recoiled backwards.
Oh yes, back of chair prevented me from doing such.
Next choice, I recoiled to the side of the chair, and flipped myself over the armrest.
It occurred to me then that I could have just steered my chair away from the haunted welcome mat.
But I don't bode well with panic.
I hit the smelly ground with a;
"Crack!"
"Pop!"
"Squelch!"
Yes, you heard me right, SQUELCH!
Lying on my place on the ground, I tried to locate where these sounds came from on my body….
The crack I think must have something to do with the even more severe pain I felt in my front bum.
Ohhh Hatori Whore will be ever so pissed.
The pop must be from the fact that my arm was hanging at an odd angle again.
Hm, well a dislocated arm I can handle! It's not that badly dislocated either; it just made a slight 90 degree turn and was bent backwards.
Trust me, I've dislocated worse things…..
And for the squelching noise? Well, for a horrifying moment, I thought that my anus had prolapsed again. (And don't ask questions about that, you muddling, second-rate, lowlife!) But thankfully it was just some dog feces my ass landed in.
Oh wait.
That was worse.
Gasping in utter repulsion, I looked back at the thing that caused it all.
That blasted haunted welcome mat!
Before I could curse the thing, the door opened and out came a very small child, holding a stupid soda and grinning stupidly.
…..
Stupid offspring, you are SO lucky I'm ill!
The adolescent, noticing me on the ground, stared at me on puzzlement, then without a word, put the sugar infested soda in my "Jacking-Light-O" that sat upright by my side, then retreated back inside, closing the door behind him
….
….
I realllllly needed some Prozac….
Or someone I could scream at.
Sadly neither was available.
Mumbling a few choice words under my shallow breath, I crawled/slithered my way over to the unoccupied wheelchair, and stared at it for a few moments.
Now….how to get on?
It was extremely harsh to get off the ground unto some sort of chair on the best of days, but here I sat with a dislocated arm, and a now most likely shattered everything front ass.
But I had to get on!
And no one would stop me!
Grasping the armrest with my somewhat-good arm, I slowly pulled my self-upright, keeping all the weight on my knees.
Oh Akito, I'm out of breath!
I focused on the task at hand! No time to pass out now! I was almost there……..
And then, after what seemed like years, I slumped on the chair on my side.
Buwhahah! TAKE THAT ILLNESS'!
Sitting correctly on the doughnut pillow, I looked around for my sweet bag thing, and found it within reaching distance.
Ginning to myself, I reached out my good arm and tried to heave it back to my lap.
But it was even more surprisingly heavy!
Oh yes, that stupid soda was inhabiting it….
Gritting my teeth (And hearing a few cracks in my jaw while doing so) I hauled it up with what was left of my strength.
BUWHAHAH!
SUCCESS!
Smirking, I held my tired head a little higher.
If you were to ask me…….I would say I'm getting tremendously stronger!
Sudden screaming broke into my egotistical gloat, and I looked towards the source.
A few houses down, stood what looked to be some sort of……spooky house…..where little children entered it from one end, and ran out screaming from the other.
What the hell?
Was it some sort of…….."Hallow-ween" theme house?
I grinned beneath my outfit.
My new task had appeared!
…
What!
Yes I know. Normal people in my situation would just turn around right now and wheel home, crying for their bitches.
But alas!
I am not what you would call 'normal', sadly.
And this spooky place was not to be ignored! Even with all my injuries!
For I……
Am Akito Sohma!
The Highway of Hell!
And right now, I smell REALLY bad!
……..FEAR ME!
A/N: coughs
….
….
Te he, prolapsed ass…….giggle
Hope you enjoyed Part 1 of two! Expect the next part up sometime before Halloween! But you could always review in the meantime! (Free "O-Jacking-Lanterns" carved as Akito to those who do!)
TILL I WRITE AGAIN!
DG3