I saw the movie last night so trying not to let that change the story. Too traumatic!

Hell I'm just glad people are reading let alone have me on alerts! Thank you to all.

Here's chapter 7 for you all to enjoy. Its pretty heart-wrenching so I'll apologise now.

Chapter 7: Amen

Jayne opens his eyes suddenly. The singing still echoing in his ears. He blinks at the white ceiling. Where is he? He blinks again and the room slowly comes into focus. The infirmary. On Serenity. Then he becomes aware of someone gripping his hand. He tracks his eyes to the girl at his side.

"Returning the favour?" he nods to her hand on his.

She looks up and smiles weakly at him. "Yeah. How do you feel?"

He notices her eyes are puffy, red rimmed. "How's your head?" He tries to sit up.

"Jayne, I don't think you should…"

"I'm fine." He sits up and ignores the spinning in his head. "Where's the doc? What happened? All I remember is that ruttin' factory. Where's River?" His eyes scan the other bunk. Then he catches sight of Kaylee's stricken face. "What?"

"River is…River is dead." A tear runs down her cheek. "Simon never came near you. Zoë and Book did what they could. You were just unconscious. I stayed. You've been out all night. The others went back…to get River's…" Kaylee swallows and can't say the word.

Jayne grabs hold of her arms for support and stares at her. He can still hear River's voice in his ears. She can't be dead. She can't. Her red tin soldier she'd called him. She was waiting for me to kiss her. He remembers thinking about doing it and then killing them all. Why hadn't he? What had happened to him? I don't just pass out. I failed her. Her eyes, dark and luminescent, flash in front of his own. Jayne buries his face into his hands and howls.

"They took the body," Simon's voice is barely a whisper.

Wash has been waiting outside with the mule while Mal, Zoë and Simon went back in. Zoë takes one look at him and he looks like he might cry. Mal starts swearing a blue streak. There had been nothing but the smell of blood, and bodies of federal marshals.

"We've got to leave," Mal says.

It's started to rain again. Torrential now, straight down rain that stings the skin and soaks you through. It's rained every day since they landed on this rock and now Wash knows why.

"River!" Simon screams hysterically at the empty building. "RIVER!"

Mal turns and punches Simon squarely in the face. Simon goes down like a lead weight, landing heavily in the mud. He makes no attempt to get up, but just lies there sobbing. His fancy clothes ruined by the rain and mud.

Wash turns away. She was just a girl. He feels tears in his eyes and they run down his face to mix with the rain. He starts walking, not really heading anywhere.

"She was just a girl," he whispers to himself.

Wash stares up at the leaden pewter grey sky and silently asks God to help them all.

They hold a service for River in the cargo bay. Book leads it. Everyone has subconsciously made an effort.

Zoë has shined her boots. Inara wears a white veil over her hair. Wash is wearing the Hawaiian shirt festooned with orange leaves, which River had told him made him 'shine like the sun'. Jayne is wearing his best striped shirt.

Mal has on the waistcoat from the ball on Persephone. Somehow Inara had got all the blood out. He'd asked Inara four times if it was alright. She had assured him that River would have liked it. Mal keeps rubbing at his nose. Its still bothering him.

Kaylee has on her flowery dress, and the lump is still visible on the back of her head.

Simon stands stiffly wearing his black three-piece suit. His eyes are focused on nothing in particular. Kaylee slides her hand into his. His skin is like ice.

"She was just a girl," Simon whispers brokenly. His chest hurts. Maybe I'm having a heart attack. "She didn't…deserve…"

Book starts the service. "River Tam was a girl on a journey. Albeit not one of her choosing. But in that journey she touched all of us who knew her. Here on Serenity she found a family, just like her brother has. And we loved her like a family should. May our thoughts be with Simon for his tragic loss. The Lord works in mysterious ways my son."

Simon's knees buckle and he hits the floor with a thud. Kaylee lets out a small yelp, and kneels behind him. Tears are streaming down his face, and his breathing is too fast, too shallow, to be healthy.

Book presses onwards. He can't drag this out. He won't prolong the boy's agony. "We commend her spirit to the Lord. May River Tam feel the peace in the next life that she could not find in this one. May her soul be free from all evil. Let her dance forever in the Kingdom of Heaven. May we that are left not grieve for her, but give thanks that she may walk in God's grace forevermore. Amen."

"Amen," the others mumble solemnly, except Mal, who remains tight lipped, and Simon.

Jayne balls his fists and forces his face into blank neutrality. They can't know she got to him. She can't be dead. What if I'd…that night…would it…? I could have kissed her, found a way up there and kissed her. She wanted me to. What did she call me? Her red tin soldier. Jayne stares at the floor and feels his eyes sting. He blinks hard. Just a rutting girl. A rutting girl and her red tin soldier.

Zoë looks at the weeping Simon and swears to herself that her children will never suffer as he and River have.

"Would you like to say a few words Captain?" Book knows Simon is in no fit state.

"Err," Mal looks up. "River you didn't deserve this. I'm ruttin' sorry we couldn't save you. Just a girl in the wrong ruttin' verse." He turns and leaves the cargo bay. "Amen," he says silently to himself.

Inara dabs at her eyes with a silken handkerchief. She looks round at the rest of the crew. Somehow this young damaged girl has wormed her way into them, and her death has broken them all.

Simon doesn't sit round the table and drink Kaylee's engine hooch until the room is blurry. Book declines the wine but sits with them swapping stories.

"When she rubbed soup into Mal's hair I thought I would die…" Wash slurs drunkenly.

Mal tries to glare at his pilot but it doesn't really work.

"Remember the incident with the spanner and the sealant on Simon's door?" Zoë says laughing.

"Fighting over apples," Kaylee mumbles looking at her wine.

Inara pushes Kaylee's hair back behind her ear. "She used to like getting her hair brushed, just like you."

"She was just a girl," Wash says sadly.

Jayne's hand connecting with the table makes them all jump. "She wasn't just a girl!" He bellows. "You all know she was more!"

He roughly shoves his chair back and stomps from the room, leaving shocked silence behind him.