A/N: Yo peeps! Thanks for all the reviews! And, like I promised; (Hands everyone Jack-O-Lanterns caved as Akito with a canary in his mouth)
So here we have the 2nd, and final, part of the Halloween Special! BUWHAHAHAHA!
Oh and by the way, a message to my faithful reviewer!
Audley: Yeah I was thinking about maybe having Akito discover his certain…equipment (or lack there of). But then I realized something……..I would actually really suck at writing a female Akito. (More then the male version of him, if you can believe it!) Odd I know…..But I may have him discover that he's female at the VERY end of this fic (I have no clue when that will be, so don't even ask!) So that way I won't have to write much female Akito! But in the meantime, hope you enjoy the transgender-ish version I have of him now! Thanks for all the reviews btw!
Well, what ya waiting for?
READ ON AND REVIEW ONCE READ!
Disclaimer: I no own furuba! You no sue. We happy. We dance.
Something Crippled This Way Crawls. Part 2
CH 5
Well the last time you saw me I was staring at that odd, "Hall-O-Wang" theme house.
And I'm still staring at it.
So you haven't missed much.
Finally, now that I gathered enough breath to proceed to my destination, I steered my electric wheelchair towards the childish screaming, my "sweet bag" now crushing my poor little ill legs greatly.
A tad while later, I was staring at the entrance of the themed place, which consisted of a painted black door with a stupid, fake, plastic skeleton on the middle.
Oh yes, and did I mention the stupid cloaked man in black with a fake, plastic mask on?
"WELCOME TO HELL, LITTLE BOY!" It said, faking a deep, manly voice.
Stupid pubescent dimwitted CRAPHEAD!
Oh but it wasn't finished talking!
"I must warn you! You will encounter various bloodcurdling things! But whatever you do; DO NOT TURN AROUND! BUWHAHAHAAHHA!"
I glared at it.
It stared at me with its yellow colored eyes, still laughing mindlessly.
So I kicked it in the shin and wheeled through the now open door.
I had only just stopped hearing the mumbled cursing from the mindless idiot when I came face to face with a mutilated person, his blood covered face masked in terror as he sat in what looked to be a dentist chair.
Well obviously he was WAX! How senseless do you think I am!
Glaring in annoyance, I quickly sped past him and went through the curtained exit.
This one was a hallway…
I think.
It was really getting to dark to tell. I could barely see the wheels of my chair anymore!
…..
….
Now it MAY just be my sometimes-senile mind, but I swear someone was following behind me.
I quickly looked behind me, and found only darkness.
Ah yes, just the mind. I turned my head forward.
"OHHH! Akito-sama! What a chilling SURPRISE! OH MY! What happened to your ARM! I may appear immature when I say this but; Ewww!"
….
….
I know that voice……
"AHHHHH!" I yelled shutting my eyes. MAKE THE VOICES GO AWAY!
I've said that on more then one occasion by the way.
"OHHH! Have I……..upset you?" The flamboyant voice said again.
Yes.
Flamboyant.
Yes.
Ayame Slut.
Oh how unsettling!
I opened my eyes again and found myself staring at, yes indeed, Ayame Slut.
….
What in the hell of all that's Sohma is THAT?
My jaw dropped (literally dropped, it unhinged again) as I stared at the queer. He was wearing what looked to be a giant pink, frilly dress, with white gloves that reached his elbows. A little shiny headband with a black feather in the back was tied around his forehead; his pretty hair braided and put to the side.
And just to add to the horrible effect, a huge purple feather boa hung around his neck.
And I'm NOT going to get into the awful makeup…..
He flashed a smile. "Well! What do you think of my outfit? A Can-can girl! What me to dance, Akito-sama!"
And with that, he stared hopping up and down kicking his pale legs out from under the dress.
….
….
HOLY ME HE'S WEARING GARDER BELTS!
Hinge jaw back and……
"STOP YOU SENSELESS WHORE!" I yelled.
Ayame quickly stopped, and flashed another smile.
Damn him and his stupid-ness!
Damn him and his flasher dress!
……..Damn him and his prettiness!
"Well Akito-sama! It sure is THRILLING to see you here all dressed up! How about we continue on through this little haunted house? Hmmm?" He asked.
I glared in reply, and then sped past him as fast as my chair would let me.
Oh crap.
He's following.
Signing in defeat, I continued on. Let the whore join me then! Oh he'll regret it later on!
…I'm not entirely sure how he will regret it, but I'm sure something will come up.
Ahh, I think there's a room were approaching!
Smashing!
I zoomed through the curtain and found myself in yet another room blanketed in blackness.
"Ohhh! Spooky, no?" Ayame inquired behind me.
Glaring, I went into the middle of the room.
And that's when it happened.
Flashing lights galore.
It was like the light show in the gay club I was in, but much more bright.
And blinking.
Ohhhh and dizzying!
So all this flashing-ness caused me have a seizure of course.
I mean, what the hell else would you expect of me? I'm ILL!
I don't remember much of what happened when it was occurring, but I do remember waking up horrified.
Why was horrified, you ask?
Ayame's grinning face dangled above me, that's why!
Well I guess it could be worse.
I mean his IS related to my Yuki.
I purred.
"Ohhh! Looks like your up!" He said cheerfully.
Well no crap I'm up! What was your first freaking clue!
Sitting up in my chair a little better, I noticed that we were in yet another dark room.
I was about to ask how long I was out for, when all of a sudden something jumped out from the dark corner of the room.
Huh. It was a man wearing a mask swinging a chainsaw around.
How abnormal indeed.
Before I could think of what type of emotion I was feeling, Ayame Slut chose it for me.
"MY GOD!..EEK!" He yelled, and pushed my chair towards another random curtain.
Looking behind, I saw the chainsaw man advancing.
Trying to keep my fear under control, I took a few deep breaths.
"I WANT YOUR LIMBS!"
…..
Bloody hell! I can't spare any damnit!
Fear no longer under control.
Gather up breath.
"PUSH FASTER BITCH! FASSTERRR!" I screamed, trying to hit Ayame Slut with my dislocated arm.
We finally went through the curtain, and that unexpected chainsaw thing did not follow.
Sinking back on the wheelchair, I gasped for breath. That was too much work.
Looking around, I saw that we were yet again in another black hallway.
"Well? Shall we carry on?" Ayame asked, his voice coming from just ahead of me.
Grunting in response, I wheeled myself down to the end of the hallway and took a left.
I found myself in a small closet like room, where a midget leprechaun stared at me, smiling beneath his huge green hat.
Hmm…
I blinked.
He was still there.
So it wasn't my mind then.
Resort to next plan;
"AHHHHHHHHHHH! HATORIIIIII! AYAME! RESCUE MEEEEEEEE!" I yelled, closing my eyes and flailing my dislocated arm at the evil midget leprechaun thing.
I then heard footsteps behind me.
"Akito-sama! Don't worry! Its just Momiji!"
….
….
….
Oh yes, well that just makes everything freaking PEACHY!
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Panic stricken, I wheeled myself forward and ran into a wall.
"WAAAAAA!"
Oh great, I'm crying now, it's only a matter of time before dehydration sets in.
Okay, get a hold of yourself Akito Sohma. Its just Momiji, dressed as a midget leprechaun, nothing to worry myself over.
….
Ah there I go screaming again.
Turning my wheelchair around and facing another curtain across the hallway, I veered my chair to that direction. Ignoring the shouts from Ayame Slut and the evil Mortifying Midget Momiji.
Still blabbering in terror, I went through the curtain and into the next room, where I zoomed my way past the bandaged mummy's that were popping out of the walls at me.
Oh! Another curtain I believe! I quickly steered my way over there.
SLAM!
Nope, solid wall.
I turned to the left and finally found the real curtain, and wasting no time went through.
And who should I find?
"Oh GOODIE! Looks like you finally came back to your senses and came back!"
Hmm…..Must've made a wrong turn somewhere….
"WAAAA!" I cried, and turned back to the curtain.
A few minutes later, I had at last lost the evils, and was now occupied in a small room where a glowing, stupid, fake head has been talking to me for around 60 seconds.
"-FEAR THE EVILS THAT DWELL INSIDE!"
Bloody freaking HELL! I realize what resides inside this disturbed residence! SHUT UP!
Around another 10 minutes, I had finally caught my breath enough to continue on and try to find a way out of the hell whore hole.
Glancing at the heavy wooden door, I nodded, and went towards it.
Then I pushed at it with my feet.
….
….
Know what happened?
SQUAT is what happened!
Stupid heavy doors that aren't made for the ill!
I tried again, this time pushing harder on my steering thingy, putting more strain on my legs then I should have.
But I really don't give a damn at this point. I promise that I'll stay bedridden for a month after this.
Signing in defeat, I went towards the door, which I came from; I guess I'll have to try and find another way out.
Push andddd……
…
…
…CRAP!
It won't bloody budge!
…….Now what was I supposed to do!
"BUWHAHHA! YOU SHALL NEVER ESCAPE! BUWHAHAHAHHA! FEAR MY FURY!" The mask thing said.
Hm, if memory serves me right (Which I admitted, it probably doesn't) I think I said those exact same words to Yuki Dear in my closet….(Replace "fury" with "Mr. Whippy" though….)
Oh sigh, I guess I'll just have to wait in hopes someone will rescue me….
2 hours later…
….
….
I hate people.
Still insanely bored, I continued to make small circles with my chair, sometimes making an unsophisticated remark to Mark.
Mark was the talking head by the way.
….What?
During that moment, while I was preoccupied with trying to pop my arm back into place, I heard something outside the door.
Suddenly energized, I wheeled my way over to the unopened door and kicked it.
"Let me out you bitches! This is my command!" I shrieked.
The words had barely left my mouth when the door swung open towards me.
….
….
Oh COME ON!
How the hell was I supposed to know to PULL THE DOOR!
….
I truly hate people.
And who was my savior? My knight in shining armor? My "I-Will-Save-You-Because-You-Are-A-Dying-Mentally Unstable-Wheelchair Occupied-He/she thing"?
Why citizens, it was the chainsaw chap!
Just freaking splendid!
But I didn't wheel away this time; I had to face the thing before I really lost it in this confined space.
I stared at him, trying to think of something clever to say, without sounding like a hysterical infant.
And he stared at me, his face clad in that stupid white mask.
….
….
"WAAAAAA!" Crying, I quickly zoomed myself past him and out the open door.
This time there was no stopping! Even if Midget Momiji stood in my path, I would just have to wheel over him. Woe is he.
Oh! What do I see up ahead? It looks like a………..exit I believe!
And how would I know that?
Because there was a glowing red sign that hung over the already open door that read "Exit".
Getting this huge after-sex-glow on my face, I wasted no time driving myself out into the smelly, polluted night air!
Oh YES!
Beautiful, beautiful;
SUCCESS!
Ignoring the stunned looks I was getting from the children waiting to be let inside the house, I trekked away from that place.
And towards……
Someplace!
Buwhahaha!
Yes, I know I should really get home and have Whore Tori doctor me up, but the night is still young! And I hadn't even had my share in the celebration of Ha-Low-Ween!
But, where to go? I've already went to doorsteps demanding candy (And yes, my evil veggie candy dish still sat on my crushed lap)
And I went into the themed house! (In which I will never set wheel in again.)
But what else to do?
The answer to my question, finally hit me.
No literally, it bloody well hit me!
Shaking my head, I glanced down at the object, which smacked me with such force.
Hmmmm…..
Great me, it appears to be hygienic bathroom tissue!
….
But why the hell is hygienic bathroom tissue flying around? I know I haven't lost it THAT much…..have I?
Sudden amused laughter broke into my thoughts.
I looked ahead of me, and to my surprise I found some youth.
…That were throwing hygienic bathroom tissue all over a house, and the vegetation that surrounded it.
…..
Was this some sort of….
Occult?
I looked to the small birdbath that sat near me, then at the tissue that I held in my good hand.
Well, there shouldn't be a reason why I cannot participate in such activity!
It must be some sort of Hol-O-Ween sacred tradition!
Grinning at my new plan at hand (haha, I made a pun!) I steered myself over to the birdbath, grabbed the tissue, and hurled it at the birdbath.
It bounced into the small bowl of water.
Buwhahahah!
Success!
But alas, I think this is the time I call it quits, my good arm is killing me after that throw, and my dislocated one is still………..dislocated.
But it was successful day was it not?
I went and received sweets, forced myself into an unintelligent haunted theme house, and now have effectively damaged property with occult rituals!
Oh how H-
What's this? Laughter behind me?
Before I could look behind myself, I was engulfed with hygienic bathroom tissue.
Fist the assassin wrapped it around my head, then around my body and chair, bounding me there.
OH SOHMA! What was this! What were they going to do to a helpless thing like mee!
A horrible thought struck me;
I was going to get molested!
Gathering up all my strength, I pushed forward on the chair control, (Yes that took strength!) upsetting the rapist who was now trying to bind my legs to the chair.
"Hey! Get back here!" The deviant character cried.
How brainless do I appear to you bitch!
Zooming my way…..somewhere, (It was hard enough to try to find my way home in the best of days, let alone in the dark with bathroom tissue covering half my face!)
But thankfully, I was not far from home, and I soon found myself approaching the blessed familiar Sohma gates.
Oh yes, BLISS! They were open!
Speeding through them, I drove over to the main building, and who do I find standing on the porch!
Why, it's my trusted Hatori Whore!
……Why is he looking at me like that?
Oh…….yes……..I guess I may appear somewhat, queer. As after all, my arm was still hideously dislocated as it flailed behind me, covered in hygienic bathroom tissue from head to wheel, with a "Lantern-Oh-Jackie" sitting on my lap.
Well at least he couldn't see the dog feces that covered my bottom. (Oh HOW I SMELT! Ewww!)
Finally reaching Whore Tori, I stopped and smiled.
"Greetings."
Hmm. He's still looking at me in absolute dismay.
"Akito-sama………….WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!" He yelled.
Yes.
Yelled.
Yes.
At ME!
The bitch is going down.
But not now.
I'm really bloody exhausted.
But I did manage a fierce glare.
"Just do your job and give me drugs."
And cue the faint.
…..
…
Ahh there it is!
All in all, it was a horrifyingly fatiguing night, in which I don't think I will ever repeat.
Okay I probably will.
But until that time;
I bid you Cheerful Halo-o-ween!
BUWHAHAHA!
END OF THE HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!
Gee how sad.
Not.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this ch! And you obviously know the drill on what to do now…. (Hands out candy corn for extra bribe)
Well, until the next Ch! TILL I WRITE MORE CRAP! BWUAHAH!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
DG3