A/N: THANK YOU TO ALL WHO REVIEWD THE PREVIOUS CH! And yes, here is your reward (Hands reviewers lumps of Akito's hair)

Hope you all had an awesome Halloween! (I know I did, but that's mostly due to the fact that I was able to dress my good friend up as a piece of pavement…kudos to you)

And here would be the……..wow 6th ch! I can't believe it's actually lasted this long and not been flamed to hell and back.

Hope you enjoy this ch (I warn you though, it's possibly the most pointless ch of all the ch's.)

Read on and- well, you know what to do after.

Prescription for Disaster

CH 6

Akito's Fair Time

Normally I start out my day thinking about how horribly bored I am.

But not today.

Because I previously went through that stage, and have already solved it.

I was clothed in my street clothes again, and am currently walking to this thing they call a "Fair".

I overheard that stupid Kisa talking about it, so of course I ordered her to give me the date and time.

Of course I had no idea what a "Fair" was, but that wouldn't stop me!

For I am Akito Sohma!

Fear me!

Hmm…I really should think about getting a new saying.

….Na.

Whore-Tori of course had objected immediately, saying that my injuries needed time to heal, but he knew he couldn't disobey my plan!

Ahh yes, my previous injuries from last month; I'm happy to report that they are fairly well healed! Although my crotch tends to make odd bone snapping sounds now and then when I walk…oh well.

So here I walked, into the dark with only the night stars to guide me.

That was a lie; I was following the extremely bright lights, clown music, screams, and the trail of popped corn.

A few minutes later, I found myself in front of a massive mechanical object, which was spinning.

Hmm…I see there is also a huge amount of humans on it, sitting in what looked like some sort of bench.

"Want a balloon?" Asked an eerie voice behind me.

I jumped and turned around, which I quickly regretted. Not because of the sudden faintness I felt because of the spin, but I did so regret looking upon what stood behind me!

It was a clown.

Enough said.

This clown was clearly under the influence of pissed in java (Which I shall now and forever call it), as his wig was askew, and reeked of the smell of cheap wine.

Ohhhhh….So SMELLY!

The drunken clown meanwhile was holding out a blue balloon.

Well of course I ran the hell away.

Sigh, another lie. I walked away as fast as my anemic legs would let me.

And of course I had grabbed that pretty balloon he so kindly offered me.

What?

It was SHINY!

And I have a fetish for shiny things.

I gurgled with pleasure.

Hmm….so what exactly were you supposed to do here? I looked around at all the smelly, poor people that surrounded myself, which were all surrounding another huge mechanical thingamabob.

I pushed my way past the crowd (I slithered my way through the tiny gaps in the crowd truth be told) and found myself facing a huge metal thing. Which had a bunch of loops. And riding over that bunch of loops was a box thing. Which held screaming people.

Still not knowing what the hell I was staring at, I decided to read the bold print on a sign that hung just above the gate:

!WARNING!

Do not ride if you have any of the following:

Asthma.

Major heart complications.

Miner heart complications.

High blood pressure.

Have had a stroke.

Any form of cancer.

Loss of hearing.

Loss of sight.

Loss of smell.

Loss of limbs.

Hyperventilates.

Has taken any form of illegal drugs.

Has taken any form of medication.

Ear infection.

Respiratory tract infection.

Digestive difficulties.

Has or had any form of STD.

PMS.

Athletes Foot.

Any kind of broken bone.

Dislocated any body part.

Poor bladder control.

Possible Concussion.

Transgendered.

Lactose intolerant.

Internal parasites.

Diabetes.

Family.

Under 90 pounds.

Pregnant or possibly pregnant.

WE WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INJURIES!

….

….

….

DAMN YOU!

…

…

…

They can't order ME around like that! Plus, I don't have everything on that illogical list! I'm quite certain I don't have Athletes Foot.

I walked over to the person who looked like he was in charge of this ride like thing, such an ugly thing he was too! Oh how I sneered upon his bright red hair and freckles!

" I wish to travel on this thing." I said to the thing.

He smiled.

Oh dear Sohma! Don't smile! Do you realize you're missing teeth you banana fruitcake!

"I ain't not 'inking ya too small li'l man." It said.

Dear me! I know what this is! I've heard about them, but I have not had the unfortunate opportunity to meet one!

It's a yankie!

Holy me!

What is it doing in Japan?

Okay, okay stay calm Akito, you can't show him you're afraid!

Hmmm…. I'm suddenly having the most extraordinary tingling sensation in my pants.

Oh.

Damn bladder.

Well I'll just ignore it for the time being.

I shot the yankie an Akito glare.

"Do you know who you are talking to?"

The thing shook its ugly red head.

"I am Akito Sohma."

"Yea? Who 'dat be?"

"Me! You cross eyed hillbilly badger! Me!" I shouted.

Meanwhile the cart like thing had stopped behind him, and I watched with delight as some old hairy man fell out the other side and started to sob.

Suddenly, a light bulb appeared above my head!

Not physically of course, that would be absolutely crazy.

Tee hee.

"Excuse me for a moments time, yankie." I said to the pig screwing monkey ape.

I walked off towards the female bathroom, (Dear Akito, the stench coming from that place was overwhelming!) and walked in calmly.

Of course, I got no stares from the females, they automatically assumed that I was of their gender.

I walked along the cubicles, in hopes of finding my requirement.

And find her I did, passed out on the dirty bacteria infested floor, a bottle of chocolate flavored rum laid beside her.

Wasting none of my precious time, I quickly walked over to the drunk and took off her hideous pink jacket and revolting pink heels and swiftly put them on, disregarding the peculiar stares I received from the other female gendered Yankees.

When I was done dressing myself (Yes, I dressed MYSELF! Go Akito!) I slowly walked out of the privy with ease in my pink heels.

What?

It's not like I've never worn heels before.

I soon found myself in front of that hideous yankie boy again; of course with his IQ level he had no idea that he had met me before.

Oh how I adore 'slow on the uptake' people!

Oh, where was I? Oh yes, seducing.

"Hello there my boy toy, can I ride on your ride?" I asked sexily in my female voice.

The brainless git gave me a toothless grin. How nauseating indeed.

"'ey dar l'il lady!"

What did he say?

I smiled and batted my eyelashes and hoped it was the right thing to do.

"Well? Can I? I've been just dreaming about going up and down and up and down on that big, huge ride of yours." Oh Sohma, long sentence, need inhaler.

Ewww….what the hell is wrong with him? He just went red in the face? Perhaps he's having a hot flash?

I almost pitied him. Hot flashes are a bitch.

….Don't ask questions in which you couldn't handle the answer.

" 'ure ya can, sweet 'ing!" He replied, opening the gate to the little shuttle…thingy.

Oh good! I was afraid that I would have to meet his yankie doodle in order to get on this thing.

I batted my long eyelashes again at him, and slid into the padded seat, where the vulgar individual folded down the bar, which was placed across my waistline.

Hmmm…are these bars supposed to be 2 feet away from my waist?

I quickly shrugged it off; the hick didn't seem to be too worried.

Speaking of that thing, he gave me a wink and a suggestive smirk before he patted my head and pushed a little red button, causing the…shuttle thingy to launch forward unexpectedly.

I grasped the bacteria infested bar that supposedly held me in, cringing at how dirty and foul smelling I must be after that pat on my head.

Suddenly I hear some other civilians crawl into the shuttle thingy behind me, turning my head, I see a little snot nosed boy brat grinning his stupid head off.

Ewwwwwww……kill it.

Then unexpectedly, hell started.

I barely caught my breath before the shuttle thingy took off, first skyrocketing upwards, then downwards, after that I had no clue, as I was unconscious.

What?

How the hell was I supposed to know that it would go this fast! And go this freaking loopy! It's absurd!

How I managed to stay on the ride is unknown to me, I just remember waking up and seeing that horrible, yankie, inbred face hovering above me.

" 'e ye awake! 'a 'ought ya 'ied!"

……

Huh?

I bought you a wake? I ought ya eyed?

Getting a look of terror on my face, I crawled away from the unstable, speech impaired, mimed crap-head and headed………well somewhere.

Anyplace was better the near that freak and his stupid, stupid machine.

Hm, people are looking oddly at me.

I guess I should stop groveling on the ground.

Gathering up what was left of my strength, I heaved myself of the dirty, smelly ground to a standing, hunched back position, paused for a few moments to catch my breath, and then slithered off towards the next crowd, stumbling now and then in my heels.

I looked at the building, which stood in front of me, and then at the sign, which read:

Fun House.

Fun house, sounds like some sort of institution for the mentally unwell.

So, it should rightfully accept me.

While the attendant of this Fun House was busy looking over odd ticket like paper, I slipped inside.

….And what should I find?

A hallway.

……I have bitter memories from hallways.

But now is not the time to dwell on the past! Go forth, says I!

And go forth was what I indeed did, for a couple of feet, anyway.

WHAM!

Clutching my aching head in pain, I stumbled back a few steps, and looked to what I ran into;

…….The hell?

I ran into……

Nothing!

I glared at the nothing in front of me, perhaps it was just my mind playing tricks on me again?

I nodded, this must be the case.

And forward I go!

WHAM!

Oh, bloody f-

I suddenly stopped, why? Because my hand was resting on something in mid air.

I've finally, totally flipped my lid.

I 'tapped' on the thing in front of me, and it made a slight 'tapping' noise back to me.

Squinting, I leaned closer, and there I finally saw it.

I was glass.

……What kind of yankie put THESE here? Have they no universal intellect!

Stupid stupids!

Now I must stress my ill body to go around it!

Muttering a few curses under my breath, I walked along the side of it until I was finally rid of the dreadful thing.

Now, time to get out of there and complain to someone who'll listen!

WHAM!

…….This………could be complicated.

It took me a full hour to get out of this room, even with the stupid youth who tired to "lend a hand" to help me escape.

During this hour, things kind of went like this:

WHAM!

Curse.

Turn.

Walk.

WHAM!

Curse.

Turn.

Walk.

WHAM!

Curse and throw a bit of a tantrum.

Take rest after said tantrum.

Turn.

Walk.

WHAM!

……….Frustrating indeed.

But it's over now, and I'm not one to dwell on the past.

Ha.

And now, I am in a small room, and this time, it was mirrors that stood around me.

At least, I thought they were just normal mirrors, until I walked in front of one.

Hm…….I look rather……anorexic…….more then normal.

Shaking my head in wonderment, I continued on to the next mirror.

And nearly cried.

There, in the mirror, stood me.

But dear me, it was HORRIBLE!

It was me, but I was grossly, enormously, revoltingly HUGE!

SO obese!

I must have weighed like………over a hundred pounds!

I fled as fast as my pink heels would take me; this was not an image I wanted to witness.

Much later on, I was outside of that place, and back out on the open, and weighing my normal, correct weight.

Ahhh, I guess you must be curious as to where I am now, correct?

Well, I wanted to know as well, so I asked some bloke who was behind a counter, and behind him, stood a wall of balloons and stuffed animals.

Hm, balloons, I just realized I had misplaced mine.

It is a sad day.

Gather up breath now.

I just barely opened my mouth, when the yankie noticed me.

His eyes grew large.

"YOU WANNA TRY?" He screamed.

"Excuse me?" I shot back.

"OF COURSE YOU DO!" He continued to yell, flapping his arms about like a crazy.

What sort of medication was this man on!

"EVEYONE'S A WINNER!"

Let me rephrase that. What medication SHOULD this man be on?

Before I could suggest anything, he pointed crazily to a sign:

2 dollars for 3 throws.

What exactly was he suggesting?

But I didn't want to risk not paying the man; he looked too far-gone to be reasoned with.

I quickly gave him the amount from the wad of cash I had down the front of my pants.

Yes, down my pants.

But the man did not seem disturbed by that fact at all, he actually seemed quite thrilled at the two dollars he was clutching.

I was going to back away then, and try to find someone to bitch to, but the man stopped me.

"Try to hit one then!" He replied, gesturing to the balloons behind him, and then placed on the counter what looked to be 3 darts.

I looked at the darts.

Then to the shiny balloons.

Then back to the darts.

Then back to the crazy homeless person who was off busy screaming at other random civilians.

Okay, maybe if I just threw one he'll let me go.

I picked up one of the small darts, and took aim at one of the balloons.

Then, putting all my strength into my arm, I threw it.

…..It has been quite some time since I last threw anything.

Actually, the last thing I remember throwing was that peanut at Shigure at the banquet last year.

But I must say, I don't recall it ever being this painful.

I looked to where I felt the most pain.

And so did the crazy, destitute, freak.

"HOLY CRAP!" He yelled.

I rose an eyebrow, then plucked the dart out of my pierced hand.

Hmmm, I guess I should have thrown harder, and perhaps should have kept my other hand off the counter.

Of course, my hand didn't bleed, that hasn't happened for a while.

The male, meanwhile, was throwing a fit.

"Oh shit! Oh shit! Dude, that was AWESOME! I'm so fired! AHHH! Here! Here! Have a stuffy!" He cried, and handed me a giant giraffe-like stuffed animal.

Well, since this guy was so willing…..

"I want a balloon." I demanded.

"OF COURSE! It's yours! Just as long as this little accident doesn't get reported or anything…"

I nodded, accepted the balloon he held out, and turned around.

Now where to, I ponder?

I suppose, maybe the place that was right in front of me?

Apparently, this place (which was no more then a dirty old tent) was a Temporary Tattoo Quarters.

Ahhh! I've always wanted one of these! But Hatori whore said that I could get an allergic reaction to it.

But screw him, he's not here. And I am.

I walked over to the tent clutching my stuffed animal and balloon, and sat upon the smelly chair.

Ohhh……..smelly! How I shuddered.

Before I could get up and move to a less bacteria infested seat, I was approached by a "Big Hairy Warrior" type of woman.

She smelt worse then the ass germ infested chair.

"I understand, that you would like a tattoo?"

"Yes" I said to the………'female'.

"Anything in particular?"

Hm……now there's a good question.

"Something scanty." I commanded.

She smiled a huge manly smile and went away for a few seconds, then returned holding a little piece of paper, a cotton ball, and some sort of liquid in a bottle.

"And where would ya like it, honey?"

Ewww…..I've just been violated……..

Cringing, I was quick to reply.

"Calve"

Without a word, she walked over to where I sat, fondled with the bottom of my pants for a moment, and did what she was paid to do.

……..Ignore that statement.

A few minutes later, it was done, and on my calve was the image of the tattoo.

……..

It was……….

A pair of female panties.

………

Not bad, I must say.

I dug into my crotch pouch and pulled out the amount requested, and walked away from the now disturbed…woman.

I was near something called a "Beer Garden" when pain started to shoot up through my leg.

Gasping I stumbled into the "Beer Garden" doorway.

That's where things went all wrong.

Well, I think things must have gone horribly wrong, the only thing I remember was the familiar smell of urine infested java.

And then, blackness.

I was roused by sudden giggling sounds.

Truthfully, I really didn't feel like opening my eyes.

But, I did anyway.

And what did I find?

Well I found myself under the bleachers, it appeared.

And what was giggling?

Well, you probably guessed it, an old man.

……Petting my hair.

Inhale, Aktio……

"HATOOOOOOOORIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! SAVE ME! I'M GETTING RAPPPEDDDDD!"

There was a sudden gasp from the old pervert, and then, I heard it.

A voice.

A beautiful, sensational voice.

"Akito-sama! Is that you!"

Oh YES!

My bitch is here! MY BITCH!

The old man was panicking now, and he wasted no time in wondering off away from me.

……….what! No thanks! No apologies! DIDN'T GET A GOOD ENOUGH FEEL?

"……..What did you do now?" A voice suddenly broke into my mental rant.

I looked up and found myself facing, indeed my whore, who was looking at my leg in disgust.

I looked down, and noticed that Whore Tori did have a good point to be disgusted.

The pant leg had ridden up to reveal my pale leg, which was covered with blisters, blood, and some ants.

Oh yes, and you could still see a disfigured image of a thong.

And, to make matters worse, it smelt.

I was nearly in tears.

It was a time………TO ANGST!

Why must everything go SO WRONG for me!

I didn't ask for it!

All I wanted in life was a normal body, a few bitches, and some shiny things!

Speaking of shiny things…

My balloon was gone.

So was my giraffe.

I let out a pitiful sob.

Hatori Whore sighed in frustration, and picked up my limp form from the ground and walked towards his sexy car.

Oh SIGH!

Woe is me.

I think, that it is time I should retire from rebelling.

I mean, I have done enough already;

Went to a Mr. McDonalds Whore House, went to a gay bar, and done many more things! Even celebrated "Hall-O-Wang!"

But alas, I was too weak for this.

…..

…..

……

………..

And just to top it off, some random piece of litter flew at my face.

Growling, I unraveled my arm from Hatori Whore's neck and took if off my face.

Then stared at it.

Blinked, and stared at it again.

Hmm….

Now, there would be something VERY interesting to do!

I pocketed it for later.

Thankfully, Hatori Whore didn't notice.

I smirked.

There shall be, another rebel activity.

A/N: And that's that.

Another pointless, stupid, ch.

Liked it?

Hated it?

Male Akito is pretty, yes?

I wanna hear all about it! So drop me a review!

Akito: Obey.

Till I write more crap! See ya next Ch!

DG3