Chapter 2: Still In The Closet

"Ok, guys, let's listen to the lyrics to the song so you can get an idea of what I'm looking for," I told the group of wrestlers. With Taker gone and Angle and Hogan laid out on the floor, things had calmed down quite a bit. I pulled out the lyrics and a page of them appeared in each of their hands.

"How the hell do you do that?" Batista asked.

"It's magic," I said, then went on with my business. "Who wants to read the lyrics out loud?"

"Me! Me! Pick me!" Jericho said, eagerly waving his hand in the air. "Over here! When I went to school, my teachers all said I was the starrrrrr reader!"

"Fine. You can read half of it," I said, seeing no other volunteers. "Triple H can read the other half."

"Triple H isn't here," Shawn said, looking confused.

I snapped my fingers and Triple H fell out of the air and hard onto the floor, flat onto his butt. "He is now," I said, and I laughed at the expression on all of their faces.

"Hey, what the hell just happened?" Triple H asked, standing up and rubbing his butt.

"I just made you come here so you can be in my music video," I said to him. I passed him a copy of the lyrics. "Jericho will be reading the first half of the song and you will be reading the other half. Got it?"

"No, I don't got it! I was-" Triple H began, but I interrupted him.

"Hey, will someone please warn him about what happens when you don't do as I say?" I asked no one in particular.

"That's a no-no," Kurt Angle groaned from below the floor.

"Right, brother," Hulk Hogan muttered, still laid out on the floor with his eyes closed.

"What happened to them?" Triple H inquired.

"Didn't listen to me," I told him. "If you don't listen to me, you face the consequences."

"Sorry. I'll read the second half of the lyrics, ma'am," Triple H said humbly to me.

"There you go. Good boy." I threw him a Scooby Snack and he quickly ate it. "Alright, Jericho. Make my lyrics come to life."

"Once upon a time there was this rich old guy. He had almost anything he could want in the world. He had a mansion, plenty cars, nice job, plenty bars... With all that money he could have any girl..." Jericho paused for dramatic effect, then went on. "But the one thing he could not get was a rocking chair in which to sit. He wanted it but it was occupied by another guy... He had to have it but couldn't grab it so then he cried..."

"I hate to interrupt, but TakerTakeMe, this is rubbish. This doesn't even rhyme!" Triple H said quietly.

"What did you just say to me?" I asked him evenly.

"It was just constructive criticism, ma'am," Triple H whispered. "I don't mean to offend you, but this song makes no sense."

"That's why I need you guys to bring it to life and make it make sense!" I exclaimed. "I know this song is a piece of shit, but with you guys here, I know it will be a masterpiece in the end. I have that much faith in you guys."

"Aw, I think I love you!" John Cena exclaimed. "I'm gonna bust a freestyle just for you."

"Not now, assclown. I have to finish reading the first half of the lyrics!" Jericho yelled, but John ignored him.

"TakerTakeMe, you should choose me to be the one to read your song. I got the fame that lasts forever but Chris won't be around too long," John said, beaming.

"TakerTakeMeeeeeee!" Jericho whined. "He won't let me finish reading the lyricssssssssss!"

"Cute, John, but not nice. Why don't you let Jericho read the song so we can get this done?" I asked.

"Ooooookkkkkkk," John pouted.

"Just out of curiosity, why are you making us do this in the first place? Is it something for your job or whatever?" Batista wanted to know.

"Job? Ha! I don't work yet!" I laughed. "But no, seriously, I'm doing a project for a class at school and they said be creative. So I'm going all out. I mean, where else will you find a story about a group of wrestlers performing a nonsensical song where a 17-year-old girl has ultimate power over them all?"

"Uh..."

"I'm confused!"

"Huh?"

"Whaaa?"

"Run that by me one more time..."

"Yeah, ese, I don't understand that," Eddie Guerrero said from the back of the room. "No comprendo..."

"Where the hell did you come from?" I asked with a frown as I looked at Eddie. "I didn't summon you here."

"I followed Triple H through the portal, chica," Eddie said to me. He looked at Triple H. "Why didn't you tell me you were leaving, holmes?"

"I didn't get into this relationship for you to be keeping tabs on me!" Triple H said angrily. "So why is it any of your business?"

"Because, I'm your papi!" Eddie exploded. "I mean, that's what you were calling me last night when we were..."

"Shhhhh!" Triple H said. "I'm not out of the closet yet, man!"

"You are now," Shawn said, looking at Triple H with a look of awe on his face. "So tell me this. All those years we were in DX and saying 'suck it' were you really following your own advice?"

"Aw man!" Triple H groaned. "I wish they hadn't heard you, you idiot!" he yelled to Eddie. He looked at me. "Can you erase that part of their memories or something? We'll never get this video done for you if they keep ribbing me about being a homosexual."

"Oh, so you admit it?" I asked, surprised. He nodded. "What made you turn?"

"Well, I have penis problems," he answered. "Didn't want surgery. What's a guy to do?"

He looked so sad that I immediately took pity on him. I erased the last five minutes of everyone's memories except for mine, Triple H's, and Eddie's. Then I looked at them all. "Ok, no more personal talk," I said. "We have to get to work!"

"Yes ma'am!" Triple H said loudly while mouthing "thanks" to me.

And then it was time to get back to work...