Chapter 15
Chelsea sighed as she opened her locker and threw her textbook in. The cleaning guys had done a nice job with the door, just like Raven had said, but she could still picture the spray paint in her mind. Raven was also right in telling everyone. When Chelsea came to school the day after, virtually nobody had confronted her or mocked her. Nobody pointed and whispered. Nobody laughed. Rocky and his gang were suspended so she didn't have to deal with their torment. Life moved on. Except for one thing…
Raven hadn't come to school for four days. It was Friday now, and Chelsea kept expecting Raven to be by her locker, bopping her head up and down to her walkman, or talking to Eddie. Maybe "expecting" wasn't the right word. Hoping was more like it. Chelsea hoped Raven would be there. Then it would seem like Raven was okay, and she wouldn't feel so horrible for breaking things off. But Raven wasn't here and she did feel horrible.
And she was starting to regret her decision.
But she didn't know how to make things right. Two days ago, Eddie met with Chelsea at her locker and they had a big fight. Chelsea shuddered at the memory of his anger and disappointment.
"I have never, ever seen Rae so bad. You broke her heart Chels."
"Do you think it's easy for me Eddie? Huh? Hurting her that way?"
"Sure looks like it."
"You don't understand how scared I am. How afraid I am of what everyone else is going to think of us. But you can't understand. You'll never understand. Nobody understands."
"I know one person who does. Rae. She knows how it is because she was with you. And she thought you were gonna get through this together. Rae handled everything all for you. The kids who just kept asking, the pointing and the whisperers, everything. Not for her, but for you… And she would have stood by you no matter what, but you left her all alone. Because you're selfish. All you seem to think about is yourself Chelsea. Well now, you're all you got."
Eddie stormed off that day, and Chelsea hadn't spoken to him since. The only person who seemed to not hate her was Ben. He was the only one who listened to her side of the story. He didn't judge, he just listened.
As she closed her locker, that's who was standing on the other side of the door. Ben.
"Hey Chelsea. How ya doing today?"
"Not so good."
"What happened? Did someone say something to you?"
Chelsea shook her head. "No. I was just thinking about Rae."
"Oh." Ben nodded, understanding.
"I think I made a mistake." She muttered softly, leaning against her locker door.
"Breaking it off you mean?"
"Yeah. But I think it's too late now."
"It's never too late Chelsea."
Chelsea disagreed. "No. I think it might be. I hurt her so bad. How could I make things right?"
Ben sighed. "I don't know. But you'll figure it out."
Chelsea gave Ben that sarcastic, 'Gee, thanks that helps a lot' face and stood up straighter.
"You will." Ben said simply. "And if you need any help, I'm here for you."
"Thanks." Chelsea said, wrapping Ben in a hug. "For everything."
"You're welcome."
The bell for first period rang and students hustled to their classrooms. Ben and Chelsea parted, and Ben went to class. Chelsea dilly dallied, thinking about what she could possibly do to fix her mess.
And she decided that maybe talking to Raven would be a start.
Tanya knocked on Raven's bedroom door, letting herself in because she knew Raven wouldn't answer. Raven was lying on her bed, just staring up at the ceiling; doing the same thing she had been doing for the past four days…nothing. Tanya sighed. At least today Raven looked like she showered. But it also looked like she had been crying. Tanya didn't think she could take much more of seeing her daughter this way.
She sat down on Raven's bed, moving a stray hair behind her daughter's ear. "Hey sweetie. How are you feeling today?"
"What time is it?"
"A little after three. You hungry? You want me to fix you something?"
"No."
"You have to eat something Raven."
"I'm not hungry. Maybe later."
Tanya sighed. "Look. I know it hurts, but you can't keep living like this. You have to get up, get out, and move on with your life sweetie. You've been in here for four days straight. You missed a lot of school. You can't miss another week."
"I don't want to go back there."
"Why not?"
"Because she'll be there."
"Raven. You have got to be strong. Chelsea isn't the only…person you're ever going to love. This isn't the end of the world. It may seem like it, but it's not. It's going to take some time, but you are going to move on and find someone else."
"Chelsea is the only one for me. Was…the only one for me."
"Raven, you are really starting to scare me and your father. Even Cory is worried. Honey, if you don't at least try to move on, we're going to have to send you to a psychiatrist."
"I don't know how to."
"What?"
"I don't know how to move on."
Tanya grabbed Raven's hand. "You take things slow. You get up, get dressed. Then, you go outside, take a walk maybe. Go to the mall. Hang out with Eddie. He's been over here every day, asking how you are."
Raven propped herself up on her elbows. "Have you heard from Ch--"
"No. I haven't. And I don't think I would want to either because if I get on the phone with that girl--" Tanya ranted, her eyes squinting in anger, her lips pulled tight to her mouth as she thought about strangling Chelsea. Raven quickly snapped her out of it though.
"Mom!"
"Sorry baby."
Raven lay back down. "It's all right." She sighed. "It just hurts so much, you know?" Her voice cracked and new tears pooled in her eyes.
"I know Raven. I know. But you can't let it paralyze you like this. It's tough, it's hard, and it's going to hurt for a while, but you have to move on…or you're going to be stuck like this forever."
"What if I don't want to move on?"
Tanya sighed at Raven, shaking her head. "Then, you're doing this to yourself."
Raven brought her hands up to her face and rubbed her eyes with her fingertips. Tanya stood up. There was nothing more she could do. It was up to Raven now.
"I'll be downstairs if you need me Raven. Okay?"
"Okay."
Tanya turned to leave but stopped when Raven called to her.
"Mom?"
"Yes honey?"
"Thanks."
Tanya smiled. "Anytime baby girl. Anytime."
She left the room, closed the door and went back downstairs. Victor and Cory were in the living room putting jackets on.
"Hey, where are you two going?"
"We're gonna go out to 'The Chill Grill' for a while. We were waiting for you."
"Oh, thanks, but I think I'm just going to stay here. You guys go out though. Have fun."
"Are you sure now?" Victor asked, walking over to her. Tanya nodded. Victor then whispered. "How's Raven?"
"She's better I think." Tanya whispered back.
"Okay." Victor replied, kissing his wife gently on the lips. Then, he turned to Cory. "You ready?"
"Yeah."
"Let's go then."
Victor gave Tanya one more kiss and then he and Cory headed out the door. Tanya waved as they closed the door, and then sighed heavily once they were gone. She went into the kitchen; she was going to fix Raven a sandwich and make her eat it whether she wanted to or not.
Tanya took out the cold cuts and turned to get the bread when the doorbell rang. "What now?" She said aloud as she hustled into the living room.
The doorbell rang again.
"I'm coming." Tanya said, jogging up the steps. She opened the door and literally stopped breathing.
Chelsea stood there with her books in her hands, avoiding eye contact, shying away from the door. She looked guilty, uncomfortable, and just a little afraid. "H-Hi, Mrs. Baxter."