Chapter 19
Raven walked into her house and threw her book bag on the floor by the closet, treading through the living room. "Hello? Anyone home?"
"In here Rae!" a muffled Tanya could be heard through the kitchen door.
Raven entered the kitchen and gasped. Cory was sitting on a chair by the counter, holding a small bag of ice on his left eyeball. Raven ran over to him. "What happened?"
"Cory got into a fight at school." Tanya said nonchalantly, like it wasn't that big of a deal. Raven's jaw dropped at both her mother's indifference and the fact that Cory actually fought somebody.
"Why did you get into a fight?"
"I don't want to talk about it." Cory huffed, shocking Raven.
"But what happened? I mean, how did--"
"I said I don't want to talk about it!" Cory snapped, getting up out of the chair and storming out of the kitchen up to his bedroom. Raven looked at Tanya, who tilted her head in sympathy.
"One of the kids at school told Cory you were a lesbian. I think his words were, 'yo sis is a big fat lesbo.' And Cory tried to defend you."
"What?" Raven gasped breathlessly. Tanya nodded. And then, Raven's eyes went wide. "Did-did you tell him…the truth?"
"I had to tell him honey." Tanya said, and then quickly added when Raven looked like she was going to yell, "What else was I going to do? Lie to him? Haven't we done enough of that?"
"No! We were just keeping it a secret."
"Lies by omission are still lies Raven." Tanya replied and Raven shook her head.
She put a hand one hand on her forehead and another on her back, exhaling loudly. Her mother was right. She had been keeping her secret from Cory for too long. Hopefully, he would be able to accept it. "I'm gonna go talk to him."
Raven went upstairs to Cory's room, knocking lightly on the door. "Cory? Can I come in?"
She heard a loud sigh and then, "Yeah."
Raven entered and took a seat next to Cory on his bed. He was still holding the ice to his eye, and he wasn't looking at her. He was looking at his shoes. His face shown both a mixture of anger and hurt and he shifted his body away from her a little.
"Are you okay?"
"Fine."
Tense silence filled his bedroom. They sat there for a few moments, until Raven spoke up.
"Thank you…for defending me."
"Yeah well, now I'm an idiot because I did it for no reason."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it's true." Cory said louder than he had intended. "You are a lesbian, so beating up that kid was for no reason."
"What are you talking about?" Raven asked a little hurt by Cory's anger. "You defended me. Somebody said something mean about me, and sure, while violence isn't really the answer, it was still nice of you to do that for me."
Cory took the ice off of his eyeball, revealing a slightly swollen eye with a large purplish bruise surrounding it. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was afraid to. Mom and Dad didn't know how to. So, we just kept it a secret."
Cory shook his head. "My sister's a lesbian. Do you know how hard it's going to be for me to go back to school tomorrow?"
Raven nodded sympathetically. "Yeah. It's hard for me too. Someone wrote 'dyke' on my locker. And now the whole school knows."
"Really?"
Raven nodded. "Well, me and Chelsea's lockers. Chelsea and I…we--"
"Oh no! Don't tell me that Chelsea's gay too!" Cory shouted, standing up. "This is nuts!"
"Okay, now just hold on there a second!" Raven shouted, standing up too. "What's the difference if Chelsea's also gay or not? The problem is that some jerk, like the kid you beat up, defaced our lockers, exposed us to the school, and ruined our relationship!" Raven could hear her voice become hoarse from emotion and her eyes burned, irritated from the countless tears she had cried for a week, and for the onslaught of tears she was going to cry.
Cory's face softened. "You were going out with Chelsea? Chelsea, your best friend. Chelsea, the girl we see all the time? My former 'baby' Chelsea?"
Raven laughed a little and nodded. "I was. But…she broke up with me." She whispered, sitting back down and feeling her eyelids become moist.
"Is that why you didn't leave your room this whole week? Because Chelsea broke up with you?" Cory asked, sitting back down next to Raven.
Raven nodded. "Yeah." She looked at the floor; she wasn't sure that Cory was ready to hear this, but she gave him the benefit of the doubt. She looked up at him. "I was kind of in love with her."
Cory didn't break his gaze with Raven. Instead, he simply asked, "You were kind of in love with her?"
"I was in love with her. I am in love with her."
"This is so crazy." He said, staring off into nowhere.
"Why is it crazy?" Raven said, nudging him a little with her elbow. "Up until a few hours ago, I was still Raven, wasn't I? I was still your big sister?"
"But now everything's different."
"No. I'm still me. It's just one little thing that's different."
"Nuh-uh. It's major. You don't like guys anymore Raven. You like girls."
Raven sighed. "I liked one girl. The only girl for me."
Cory didn't say anything after that, and the room fell into that uncomfortable silence that Raven really couldn't stand. She had to break it, so she said, "Do you hate me?"
Cory looked at her with his one good eye…and shook his head. "No."
"You think I'm a freak?"
"You were always a freak."
Raven smiled. "Brat."
"Jerk."
"Creep."
"Idiot."
Raven hit Cory on the arm with a pillow from the bed and he laughed. She rubbed his shaved head roughly and then patted it lightly, standing up. "So, we cool?"
Cory nodded. "Yeah."
"All right. Then, I'm gonna get going because there is a funk up in here. How long has it been since you cleaned this room?" She asked, opening the door and stepping out of the room.
"Well, how long you been keeping your secret from me?"
Raven shrugged. "A few months now."
"I'm way ahead of you."
Raven's face scrunched in disgust. "Gross. Ya nasty." She said, smiling and closing the door.
As she headed down the front stairs, the door bell rang. "I'll get it!" She said aloud, running down the rest of the way and opening the door.
A young man, probably in his early twenties, stood in the doorway with a large bouquet of beautiful flowers in his hand and a clipboard and pen in the other. He stared down at the board, chewing his gum loudly like a cow would chew cud. "Raven Baxter?"
"That's me."
"Sign here." He said, shoving the clip board toward her. Raven signed quickly and was suddenly attacked by the bouquet.
"Have a nice day." The guy said, turning around and jogging for his delivery van before Raven could even say a word.
Raven closed the door and stepped down toward the couch. Smelling the flowers, Raven closed her eyes and smiled. This was probably from Chelsea too. There were more flowers than she could count. This must have cost a pretty penny. Taking the flowers away from her face, Raven noticed a small white envelope in the middle of the bouquet.
Setting the flowers down on the coffee table and grabbing the envelope, Raven opened it and pulled out a small white card. Another simple note.
A flower for every time you said you loved me, and I didn't say it back.
I'm sorry.
Raven sighed, putting the card in her pocket and looked at the flowers. Just as she was about to pick them up, the doorbell rang again. She hopped up to the door and opened it; the same guy was standing there. This time, he held a bouquet of red roses in his hand. "Sorry." He said flatly. "Forgot this one."
"Thanks." Raven said and closed the door.
The fully bloomed roses were a beautiful, deep, rich, red color The scent radiated off of them. Raven frowned a little, taking the new white envelope from the roses. She opened the card, and felt her heart melt.
A rose for every time I said I loved you and meant it.
I love you.
Raven thought back to that Saturday night when Chelsea confessed her love for Raven for the very first time. Chelsea had said, "I love you" exactly eight times. Raven knew that because she counted them, and it never left her memory. Counting the roses, she realized there were nine.
And then she read the card again.
I love you.