Chapter 20
Raven walked into school the next day feeling a little less afraid to see Chelsea. She didn't think she was ready to sit down and talk to the girl just yet, but not having a heart attack every time Raven saw red hair was a good step in the right direction.
As Raven turned the combination lock on her door, she wondered what surprise Chelsea had for her this time. Raven opened her locker, expecting something to fall out. But there was nothing. She frowned, disappointed. And the disappointment turned to surprise when Raven realized she was disappointed. Raven closed her door, and jumped when Eddie seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"Eddie, you have got to stop doing that!"
"Doing what?"
"Just…popping out of nowhere! I'm gonna have a heart attack and it's gonna be your fault."
"Sorry." Eddie said, but it didn't really seem like he cared. As they walked to class, Eddie asked, "Did Chelsea put anything in your locker today?"
"No. But last night, she sent over these lovely bouquets of flowers. And the notes on them were beautiful."
"Does this mean you're gonna talk to her?"
Raven sighed, arguing with herself mentally. Should she see Chelsea? Should she talk to her? When she thought about talking to Chelsea, her stomach did weird flips and her heart picked up it's pace. She felt sick. "I don't know. You think I should?"
Eddie shrugged. "If you're not ready, then don't."
"I don't think I'm ready…but is it right to leave her waiting like this?"
"Chelsea will wait as long as you need her to, trust me." Eddie said, patting Raven on the shoulder. It was the truth. Chelsea told him those exact words on the phone last night. And the surprise they had for Raven today would surely help Raven make a concrete decision.
"Eddie, are you in on all this?" Raven asked, squinting her eyes in suspicion.
Eddie smiled at Raven and then began to walk ahead of her. He turned, walking backward into the classroom. "My lips are sealed."
"Eddie!" Raven laughed a little, stomping her foot. He was in on it all right. But she probably wasn't going to get anything useful out of him.
She walked into the classroom and her eyes immediately fell on Chelsea. She was over in the corner again; writing in her notebook again, avoiding eye contact with Raven…again. Raven's heart ached as she thought about Chelsea being alone. Alone in all of her classes; alone during lunch…Eddie was with Raven so who was with Chelsea?
Raven sat in her chair and wondered about it. Ben? Was Ben with Chelsea? Was he in on this too? A quick flash of jealously coursed through Raven as she thought about Ben and Chelsea alone together, but she got over it. Chelsea was doing a lot to win Raven back. There's no way she would be doing anything with Ben. It was pretty nice of Ben to help her out. Ben was such a nice guy. Raven wondered why they didn't get along for a while. Oh yeah…jealousy.
The teacher walked in and Raven sat up straighter in her seat, giving the sense that she wanted to pay attention, but she couldn't stop thinking about what Chelsea was doing over in that corner. What was she writing? Why was she so focused on it?
The bell for lunch rang and students ran to their lockers to get whatever it was they needed to get. Raven was about to bypass her locker but stopped when she saw a folded piece of paper taped to it. She smiled. 'I knew you wouldn't let me down," she thought excitedly.
She pulled off the paper and unfolded it. Inside, there was a small note:
Go to our old English classroom. 312. Lawler's room.
Raven bit her lip and folded the paper. Heading over to the classroom, she wondered what lay ahead. Would it be Chelsea, wanting to talk to Raven? Or would it be something else?
Raven reached the classroom. It was vacant. How convenient. A sign saying "Open Me." was on the window. Raven looked around. Nobody was around. She sighed and opened the door. The classroom looked normal. There was a boom box on the desk with a piece of paper on top and various desks around the room had pieces of paper on them. Raven closed the door. A piece of paper on the back said, "Go to the radio."
This was weird.
Raven went to the boom box on the desk and read the paper. It said, "Press Play." So she did. This was a song she recognized.
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a silence apart
Raven smiled at Chris Martin's soothing voice. She could almost see Chelsea listening to this song just before choosing it to give to Raven now. She decided to walk around the room and investigate the notes on the desk. She stopped at the school desk closest to the teacher's desk. That note made her laugh. It said, "THE SEAT!" There were water drops drawn onto the paper.
She traveled down the isle to the last seat. That note said, "This is where you had your vision about Sam."
Raven remembered how excited she was about the prospect of both girls having "boyfriends" for a party. In reality, Raven's "boyfriend" didn't even know she existed and Sam turned out to be a dud.
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said that it would be so hard
Raven smiled a little as she realized what Chelsea was trying to do. She was trying to show Raven where it all began.
Oh take me back to the start
Raven walked back toward the front of the room, stopping two seats ahead of where Chelsea used to sit. The note on this desk said, "Sam." And it had a big frown on the side.
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are
The seat in front of "Sam's" had paper on it as well. This one said:
This is the seat where you became my genius, my savior, and the best friend a girl could ever have.
Raven closed her eyes and thought about how she dressed up like a guy and fooled Sam into thinking he'd lost out on something great. He had…but Raven wouldn't realize it until later how great Chelsea actually was.
A knock on the door snatched Raven from her thoughts and she ran for it. Throwing it open and looking around wildly, Raven saw nobody. She was alone. She turned to face the door and saw an envelope with a rose attached to it taped to the door. That wasn't there before. She grabbed it and went to open it, but then something happened.
The song drifted in and out of her attentions, and this particular part of the song grabbed at her.
Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
It was hard, wasn't it? Raven thought she realized how hard it actually was for Chelsea. In truth, she wasn't even close to knowing the deep insecurities that Chelsea walked around with every day. Raven knew that she herself was strong enough to face anyone. She was always raised to be confident, proud, and sure of herself. Chelsea wasn't that type of person. She had her assertive moments, sure, but she was mostly submissive. Raven knew this for a fact because up until she realized her true feelings for Chelsea, she was always the boss.
Chelsea would do anything she said, unless she had severe reservations. But those were few and far between. Raven could get her to do almost anything. Raven had even tried to get Chelsea to tell their parents about their relationship sooner than Chelsea wanted to.
Telling their parents was undoubtedly difficult for Chelsea, since she didn't want to in the first place. Dealing with their anxieties on top of her own probably added to her stress. And the way Raven's parents had acted toward her one night, that probably didn't help matters either.
It was at that moment that Raven truly understood Chelsea's thoughts when they broke up. Chelsea's love was indeed great for Raven, but her fears and insecurities had gotten the best of her that day. Her worst nightmare had come true; everyone had found out, and her deepest fears of Bayside's reaction were coming to life. What does any person do when something their afraid of suddenly confronts them? They run. And that's what Chelsea had done. She ran. And she hurt Raven badly. But she didn't mean to.
Now, she had seen the error of her ways. And she was slowly trying to make up with Raven.
Raven blinked back a few tears as she thought of the pain they were both going through. She remembered the envelope with the rose. It was still in her hands. She opened the envelope and pulled out note inside. On the front it said, "Stand by the door."
Raven slowly walked over to the door and then followed the little arrow in the corner of the paper, directing her to flip the note over. On the other side it said:
This spot, the very spot you are standing in, is when I first realized how much you really meant to me. This is where it all started. This is where my love for you began. I love you.
I'm going back to the start
The song ended, the music faded away, but Raven hadn't noticed. She was too busy reading and re-reading the note over and over again, feeling her heart swell with emotion.
Raven thought that their love had shattered to pieces that day, along with her heart. But now, she could slowly feel her love for Chelsea start to come back to her. And it was a great feeling.