Chapter 21
The rest of the week carried on the same way: Chelsea stayed out of Raven's way, and sent her beautiful things to surprise her. She had received flowers, a box of candy, a romantic song, and a beautiful note that always included "I love you" at the end of it. And slowly but happily, Raven got that familiar excited feeling in her stomach like she used to whenever she thought of Chelsea. But she hadn't spoken to her yet.
It was Friday now, near the end of school, but there had been no gestures/surprises and Raven was starting to worry. Had Chelsea given up? Maybe she had waited too long to speak to her. Chelsea hadn't shown up to last period, so Raven couldn't even talk to her there. Where was she?
The bell rang, and Raven ran out of class to her locker. She opened it frantically, and her heart soared when a white envelope with a beautifully written, "Raven" fell out. She picked it up and examined it. It was thick, heavy, and longer than the regular notes for sure. She flipped open the back, ready to read the note at that moment, but bold words stared her in the face.
OPEN WHEN YOU GET HOME.
Raven sighed, closing the envelope back up and putting it in her backpack. She immediately slammed her locker shut and ran for home.
When she was safely in her bedroom, Raven took out and nearly shredded the envelope to pieces, trying to get to the long note. Her watery eyes slowly moved left to right as she read the letter; she could almost hear Chelsea's voice in the back of her mind.
Dear Rae,
Over the past few weeks, I've done some serious thinking. I know, hard to believe right?
I've been having a hard time, but I can't possibly imagine how horrible it's been for you. You opened your heart to me, told me countless times how much you loved me, and I never returned it. It's not that I didn't want to, I just didn't know how to. Your love was so powerful, and I didn't think I could match it. I know how much it disappointed you whenever you told me you loved me and I didn't say it back. And for that I'm sorry. But you were patient. You waited for me, and when I finally said that I loved you, seeing the joy on your face made me feel happier than I've ever felt before. You do make me happy. I was never sad when I was with you.
But I was scared.
I'm not like you. I don't have the confidence and self-security you have. I'm not trying to make you feel sorry for me, but I'm trying to make you understand. I know it's wrong, but I do care about what other people think of me. And I was scared of what the school would think of us. What would happen? Would we be teased, attacked, kicked out? All of these thoughts and more were running through my mind before someone defaced our lockers. And then, it happened. Someone wrote that horrible word on our lockers, and everyone knew about us. So, I ran away from school as fast as I could…just like I ran away from you.
When you came over that day, I knew that you were hurting too. I knew that you were also scared, but you tried to make it okay. You told me that you took care of everything for me and that it would be better, but my mind was so…clouded by fear, that I didn't recognize anything but that. Fear. It took over me that day and made me do something that I never, ever, ever wanted to do. It made me break your heart. My frightened mind was telling me the best thing for us to do was to break up, and I listened.
And I lost the only good thing in my life…you.
I was selfish and stupid and wrong for hurting you, for breaking your heart. Like I said before, I never meant to do that. But I did, and I'm sorry. I am so, so sorry for hurting you this way. There isn't enough paper and ink in this world for me to write how sorry I am. And there isn't enough air on this earth for me to tell you how sorry I am. But, I hope that you can forgive me…and maybe, just maybe, you could find it in your heart to take me back. Because I do love you Raven Baxter, with every bone in my body, with every fiber of my being, with all of my heart and more. I was afraid, but I'm not afraid any more.
If you aren't afraid either, when you're finished reading this letter, meet me in the park. I want to show you something. But this is only if you're ready to see me. If you're not, I will wait. And I'll keep waiting forever. I won't give up. You told me that day that you thought our love was worth fighting for. I know this now. Our love is worth fighting for.
If you still believe it, meet me.
Forever and always yours
Chelsea.
Tears rolled down Raven's cheeks when she finished the letter. She didn't have to think about it for a second. She threw the letter on her bed and ran. She ran out of her house, down her street and over to the park so quickly her legs felt like jell-o and her lungs burned. When she finally reached it, she nearly collapsed.
Chelsea was standing in the middle of the park, her back facing Raven, looking up at the sky and slowly shaking her head. Raven smiled through her tears, her panting turning to normal breaths. But her heart had kept beating quickly. She was nervous, excited, happy and afraid all at the same time. She didn't know what to say or do, which was a very unusual and frightening thing.
As she cautiously walked toward the center of the park, Chelsea turned. She held another rose in her hand, so tightly in fact, that the stem was starting to bend. Raven let out her last ragged breath, slightly smiling as she made her way toward the girl she loved. The girl that broke her heart…and slowly put it back together. She could see Chelsea's shoulders rise and fall quickly, indicating that she was breathing heavily, probably from anxiety. Raven closed the distance between them, stopping a few feet from Chelsea.
"Hey." Raven said, trying her best to keep her tears at bay.
Chelsea's own eyes watered as she hoarsely whispered, "Hi."
They stood there for a moment in silence, looking deep into each other's watery eyes. Chelsea spoke up. "I'm sorry."
"I know."
"I didn't mean to--" Chelsea began, having a whole speech memorized in her head, but Raven moved to her quickly and placed a finger on her lips.
"Shh." Raven whispered as a tear escaped her eye.
And then she kissed Chelsea. She kissed her roughly and with passion. Chelsea kissed back just as roughly, letting her own tears spill on to her cheeks. Chelsea grabbed Raven's waist and pulled her closer, giving in to the want to have Raven near her at all times. Raven could taste Chelsea's salty tears on her lips. As Chelsea pulled her closer, Raven put a hand on her cheek, feeling the soft skin and the hot tears that wet thembeneath her fingertips.
When they broke apart, Chelsea smiled brightly as tears of joy streamed down her face. "I love you." She said shakily, handing the rose to Raven.
Raven took it happily, holding it close to her body as if it were the most valuable thing in the world. "I love you too."
Chelsea pulled Raven into a hug, squeezing her tightly and never wanting to let go. Raven closed her eyes and inhaled, smiling as the much missed scent of strawberries filled her nostrils and left her in that euphoric haze. It smelled sweeter than anything she had ever smelled in her life.
They hugged for quite some time, until Raven finally pulled away and wiped her tears. She laughed a little while she sniffled. "So, what did you want to show me?"
Chelsea wiped her tears as well, and frowned. "Look up."
Raven scrunched her forehead, looked upward, and gasped. In the sky, in big, bold cloud letters, it said:
"CHELSEA LOVES RAY."
"They ruined it. I must've told them fifty times: Raven. How hard is it to remember the name Raven?"
Raven looked back at Chelsea feeling more tears come to her eyes. "Oh Chelsea." She said breathlessly, her emotions overwhelming her.
Chelsea looked up and then back at Raven. "I wanted to show you that I wasn't afraid anymore. I don't care what other people think. They don't matter. All that matters to me…is you."
Raven didn't know what to say. She just looked at Chelsea and then looked back at the sky…at her beautiful…if slightly off exclamation of love. Before they kissed, Raven wasn't sure of how she would feel. But now, she knew. She had forgiven Chelsea and loved her with all of her heart.
"So…do you--"
"Yes." Raven replied before Chelsea could finish.
"Yeah?" Chelsea said, her voice filled with relief.
Raven nodded.
This time, Chelsea took the initiative and kissed Raven. It felt so good to have Raven's soft lips on hers once again. Chelsea didn't realize how much she actually missed Raven. When the realization hit, she wanted to hold Raven and never, ever let go. So she pulled her close again. Raven easily moved in to Chelsea's body, wrapping her arms around her waist as well.
Inside, Chelsea was jumping for joy. Raven had forgiven her and was willing to give her a second chance. She wasn't going to mess it up this time. And nothing was going to get in their way again.
At least, that's what she thought.