Written by Kazz

Exclaimer; Star Trek belongs to Paramount not me.

Rating PG

This story is based on the episode in season 5 called Violations, in which the Enterprise encounters a telepathic alien race, the Ullians, who retrieve people's memories.

Truth Lies and Friendships

Part 2

Captain Jean-Luc Picard sat on the bridge, although his mind was not where it should be. It annoyed him, more than that, it enraged him that someone could violate members of his crew, his friends.

They had headed for Ullian space so their counsellors and therapists could help but from what he could see, nothing seemed to be helping. Deanna Troi had been a source of strength and support in his recovery after the Borg. In fact he wasn't sure he would have recovered so well if it had not been for her. He trusted her. Now he had to watch as she struggled to cope with her own "rape," for that was what it had been for all of them. Yet his own "violation" had been from the Borg, an enemy. Hers came from a trusted and treasured friend, Will Riker, or at least his image.

Watching his first officer struggling to contain his anger while trying to find a way of understanding something none of them could have imagined was hard. The look in Will's eyes when he'd been told of Deanna's attack had caused Jean-Luc to turn away for a split second. It was as if they told him something his sanity, possibly his soul, could not bear. That look would live with Picard for a long time, possibly for ever.

Then there was Beverly. It had taken him three attempts to read the report detailing her, 'attack', and after reading it, he was certain some details had been omitted by his CMO. He had no proof other than a gut feeling yet something was missing. For her to be made to 'view' Jack's body would have been heartbreaking, yet there had to be more as that alone would not have been enough to cause her mind to seek refuge in coma. She…they had lived through that terrible time.

There had to be more. The Ullians knew, yet it seemed the doctor was unwilling to discuss it outside of the counselling sessions.

If only Counsellor Troi were in a position to help but due to her own recovery, he hesitated to ask her if she knew anything.

He had tried twice to speak to Beverly himself and both times she'd given him valid reasons not to have dinner or breakfast. Something eluded him, yet he couldn't put his finger on it. All he knew was, as he watched her, the cloak she wore to protect herself from the nightmare seemed to be wearing thin. He wanted to help, but how?

He found Karm in Ten Forward, sitting alone, watching the stars. Raising his hand to indicate to the waiter that he wanted nothing, he made his way to the Ullians' table. She had her back to him.

"Captain Picard, please take a seat."

He paused.

"You forget, Captain, I'm a telepath."

The Ullian's smile disarmed him and he took a seat opposite her. "Ahh, yes of course. I hope you're enjoying the view." He gestured to the window, "I'm told this is a favourite table for many of the crew and visitors."

She smiled again and moved her body, giving him her full attention, "Tell me why you came to find me, Captain?"

"I wondered if you'd settled in and had everything you required."

"Yes, thank you," her attention turned back to the stars, yet he stayed.

"Was there anything more, Captain?" She looked at him and waited, her hands forming a bridge on which she rested her chin.

"Yes, I was wondering how the counselling sessions were coming along."

"Did I not explain correctly? The sessions are for each individual to recall their own memories. The memories are private to the person, not to be discussed with others, unless they choose to do so."

His head went down for a split second. "Yes I know, I just wondered if there was anything I should know… as their Captain."

"No, nothing."

"I see, thank you Counsellor."

He stood and she reached out her hand but did not make contact. "Captain Picard, may I suggest you ask her yourself?"

"Is there anything she would tell me?"

"That I cannot say, and you will never know unless you ask."

"Thank you." He moved away slowly.

Karm turned back to the window and watched the stars. She'd known Picard would seek her out and she hoped – odd, 'hope' was a human trait not Ullian, yet it suited the situation perfectly; she hoped the Doctor would find the courage to tell him. For unless she did so, Karm could see no way of going forward, as the reality of the nightmare would never let Beverly Crusher's mind rest until she did.

The senior staff meeting was going slowly. Geordi and even Worf looked uncomfortable, while Picard eyes rarely left the doctor, who in turn never acknowledged his presence. Counselor Troi and Commander Riker were so polite to each other it was unnerving.

Data viewed the whole scene with concern. His friends were in 'pain' and he could do nothing to help them. He would speak to Geordi about this.

"Thank you," Picard ended the meeting and before anyone could move, he spoke again. "Doctor Crusher, may I see you in my ready room please?"

The CMO looked trapped, she'd already avoided his requests for breakfast and dinner but this was an order. She wasn't ready to disobey him, but it might have nothing to do with the 'incident' and yet she glanced at him, "Yes, Captain."

She felt like she was before a firing squad, yet he was being so nice. The ready room was just as she recalled it. She had no idea why she thought it would have changed, maybe because she had.

"Would you care for a drink, Doctor?"

"No thank you, I'm fine."

"As you please." He turned to the replicator. "Tea - Earl Grey, hot."

Collecting his cup, he gestured her towards the sofa.

She froze. The sofa would mean he would be close, so she chose the chair at his desk.

Jean-Luc wondered again what had happened during her attack that caused her to distance herself from him.

He waited until she was seated before perching on the edge of his desk in front of her. He'd be damned if he'd let her use his desk as a wall between them, but when she sank back in the chair, putting as much distance between them as she could, his heart almost broke. 'She's afraid of me, why?'

He rested the cup on the desk and reached out his hand, "Beverly, hey, we're friends, remember?"

His voice was so soft, so caring, and so different from the nightmare. She wanted to tell him so much.

"Yes, we are," she replied as she silently told herself, 'stay calm, don't panic.'

He left his hand there, upturned, resting on his knee, just waiting for her to take it. "Then tell me what's wrong. What happened?"

If she just took his hand it'd be alright, wouldn't it? Just an inch and she'd be safe with Jean-Luc…..Jevs face flashed into her mind. 'No,' she couldn't take his hand. She wouldn't let Jev hurt him.

"Beverly," he wanted to help. What was scaring her – was it him?

She needed to move, to breathe. Standing, Beverly walked to the window – the stars. "You already know, Jean-Luc."

She watched his reflection as he moved to stand behind her, so close she could smell his cologne.

"You read the report."

"I'd like to know what wasn't in the report." Quietly, Jean-Luc, don't startle her.

"Are you accusing me of falsifying a report, Captain?" She didn't turn, and the tone of her voice remained the same.

"I am asking my friend why she's hurting."

"And maybe she doesn't want to tell you."

She glanced over her shoulder, "Isn't privacy allowed any more?"

"Yes, it's allowed but sometimes, things are better spoken of than kept to yourself."

He watched her reflection in the glass as she closed her eyes.

"Do you really think so, Jean-Luc?" A single tear escaped before she scrunched up her face, stopping them.

Something was very wrong. "Beverly, what is it?"

He waited. His fingers turned into a fist as he fought the impulse to grab her shoulders and make her face him, but he'd never force her. She knew he'd wait "Beverly, please, what is it?"

"Jean-Luc," her voice was so quiet he could hardly hear her, so he moved his head forward to catch what she said. "I saw Jack's body."

His heart caught in his throat at the raw pain in her voice.

Reaching out, he placed his hand on her shoulder. The action was purely instinctive as he lowered his voice, 'Beverly.'

"Why would he do that? Why, Jean-Luc?" She turned and his hand fell from her shoulder as she looked him in the eye. "Can you tell me why?"

His stomach lurched as she looked at him, her blue eyes glistening with tears. "Beverly, I'm your friend...let me help you please…"

She cut him off, "Was it my fault?"

He shook his head.

She was exhausted and he wondered when she'd slept last. "Beverly."

"Damn it, Jean-Luc, answer me!" She shouted. "Why would he do that to me?" her voice dropped barely to a whisper, "why?"

"I don't know…." What could he say to take away her pain? All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and take the pain away, but he couldn't cross that line.

She brushed past him, "I didn't think so."

He'd hesitated too long, "Beverly."

She paused but didn't turn round. "Yes, Jean Luc?"

"Please, will you talk to me?"

"I just did, Jean-Luc, and you couldn't help." She left.

He moved and filled the empty space at the window.

To be continued