Written by Kazz

Exclaimer; Star Trek belongs to Paramount not me.

Rating PG

This story is based on the episode in season 5 called Violations, in which the Enterprise encounters a telepathic alien race, the Ullians, who retrieve people's memories.

Truth Lies and Friendships

Part 3

Riker looked at Troi as Beverly Crusher left the ready room.

He could see the doctor was close to tears, as she walked slowly, almost deliberately, to the lift. Will started to get up to go after her, but Deanna restrained him by placing a hand on his arm.

"Leave her Will, she needs to be alone."

The first officer slumped back in his chair.

She had helped him so much yesterday that he'd been sure that speaking to the Captain would help. Now, seeing the result of his interference, he wished he'd just kept quiet. What had happened in her nightmare or 'rape' to cause her so much pain? Once again, his anger at Jev was overtaking him.

If he could just have five minutes alone with him; he'd make sure Jev regretted ever hearing the name Enterprise.

Deanna turned and frowned at him; she was worried his thoughts towards Jev were becoming more unstable. They had spent the night talking eventually; Will had appeared to have his anger a little more under control. This morning over breakfast, he had told her what Beverly had said in the lift. Now, seeing the doctor leave the ready room with tears in her eyes his anger had been rekindled

Deanna had no idea what had happened to Beverly, but she sensed it was something to do with Jack, and just now she had the 'impression' it also had something to do with Captain Picard. Had she the strength to ask, to help? Long ago, she'd realised the CMO was a private person, and that some things were kept solely to herself.

Beverly Crusher stepped into her quarters; inside the door, she gulped for air. She walked away, knowing she'd hurt him, yet if she'd stayed…'Keep calm and breathe, Beverly, breathe'.

Crossing the room she activated the replicator. "Lemon tea. Hot."

The cup materialised.

Cradling it in both hands, she savoured the warmth, then suddenly, without warning launched it against the wall. Sighing, she leaned her shoulder against the wall and watched the tea run onto the floor.

Smashing the cup hadn't helped. She was still angry as hell and now she'd have to clean up the mess.

Picard stood looking out of the window, waiting for his temper to abate. Counsellor Troi was on the bridge, and in her present state, he didn't want his feelings to affect her. He had to get a grip on his emotions.

'Damn the woman!' He'd offered her help and she'd refused to let him. He was her friend, wasn't he? What did she want from him – to stand by and let her suffer?

And she hadn't taken his hand.

The door beeped. He looked up – couldn't they leave him in peace? "Come." He moved behind his desk.

"Captain Picard." It was Karm. "May I speak with you?"

He looked at the woman and had to admit she had timing. "Please take a seat. May I get you some refreshment?"

"No thank you, Captain."

Picard waited; she had sought him out. Yet only yesterday evening…she spoke, breaking his train of thought.

"You're wondering why I've come now."

"Yes."

"Because one of our people, Jev chose to take the road of violence and to break our oldest law. Your people have been hurt. This causes us pain, yet I can't divulge the nature of the memories of others."

"I realise that, Counsellor!" Realising his tone was sharper than he'd intended he paused. "I'm sorry."

"Captain, the aim of the counselling is to bring the memories back into their proper perspective. It is documented in our archives that the memories used by the rapists," she paused as Picard winced at the word, then continued, "are found deep, deep in the subconscious. They are memories that hold deep personal and intimate meaning to the victims. Otherwise the…" She searched for the right word. "The thrill-excitement the attacker got would not be worth the effort, do you understand?"

Jean Luc nodded.

"The more intimate and meaningful the memory, be it love, desire, fear, pain, the more you feel it and the deeper it is buried. Those are the memories the rapist searches for. In some cases, the attacker distorts the true memories. In some more serious incidents, the attacker also puts themselves into the memories."

"That's what happened to Riker and Troi." Picard was on his feet. "Did that happen to Beverly?"

"I am not saying that any of this happened to your people, Jean-Luc Picard. I am explaining what we have discovered in our old records." She stood

He sat down again. "Yes, of course."

"Think on what I have said, Picard, but remember the memories are real and painful, even if they are not true." She left, there was nothing else she could say, or maybe she'd said too much already. Who could say? Everyone's story was their own.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard remained seated as if the energy had drained out of him. His friend, his best friend, was hurting and she'd walked away from him; worse he'd let her. What had he been thinking? Mutter a few nice words and she'd be alright, and they could go back to breakfasts and dinners? She'd been raped, and he'd sat at the same table as the man who'd attacked her and spoken of pleasantries. He'd given Jack his word he'd look after them, but he'd failed. For ten years he'd had no contact with them other than through Walker and his wife. Then they'd shown up on the Enterprise, on his bridge –a boy, so like his father, and Beverly. A constant reminder of what he could not change, and what he could not have - a family. He ran his hands over his head, the panic building.

To be continued