Summary: 4 people and their best friends from my school are chosen at random for a new reality show. Location: Stars' Hollow, Connecticut. Havoc ensues.
Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls. Duh. I'm sorry about updating but I've been super busy with other stories and I had a family emergency a week after I posted the first chapter. But now I'm back! Yay.
Two
Holiday
(We see Kayla, Marla, Mike, Casey, and Rory waiting for the bus. This is Mike, Chad, and Rory's senior year while Kayla and Marla are just sophomores.)
Marla: I feel like a dork in this uniform.
Rory: Well, when you get there, you won't.
Kayla: Besides, we accessorized magnificently. (She is wearing her uniform, but with a dark blue tie, a white guitar pick as a necklace, and a button that says "You Suck". Her blonde and pink hair is up in a ponytail with her angled bangs in her eyes.)
Marla: This is true. (She is more conservative than Kayla, but she is wearing navy blue and white stripes socks and saddle shoes with blue and white star shoelaces. Her brown and blonde-and-red streaked hair is up in a ponytail with bangs in front of her eyes, but her bangs are straight. A navy blue headband is there for simply decoration. She has painted her nails white, is wearing a silver guitar necklace, and a lot of silver rings.) I like to accessorize.
Rory: You two are going to get kicked out.
Marla: For expressing ourselves?
Kayla: How un-American.
Marla: How un-fun.
Rory: Chilton's a very ritzy, very un-fun school. Also Paris will go into monologue tone, telling you how if you dress horribly, it makes Chilton look like a ghetto school and then no one will want to go to Chilton and if no one wants to go to Chilton, then Chilton will go bankrupt and you will both go to Hell.
Marla: Who's Paris?
Rory: I'm so glad you're unknowing.
(Bus arrives. The five get on. Kayla and Marla find an empty seat.)
Kayla: Do you think we'll really get kicked out?
Marla: We'll have to see what happens. But our plan to rollerblade through the halls singing, "Hey, ho, let's go" at the top of our lungs might have to be postponed until the last day of school.
Kayla: How un-rock and roll.
Marla: I know. Joey Ramone must be rolling around in his grave.
Stars' Hollow High
(We see Martha and Angie walking to SHH.)
Martha: Angie, what class do you have first?
Angie: (looks at schedule) Gym.
Martha: I have math, gym, lunch, study hall, theater arts, and science.
Angie: What the hell is theater arts? Do you draw a theater?
Martha: You learn about theater and about acting.
Angie: (in a mock happy tone) Wow, really? I don't care. (passes by a cute senior) Ooh, cute boy!
Martha: (sees Jess sitting on a bench reading a book. she stops) Oh shit.
Angie: What? Did you just find out that Matthew Broderick is in the Broadway production of The Odd Couple? Seriously Martha, Ferris Bueller is a fictional character, he's funny as hell, and you need to get over it.
Martha: Jess goes here.
Angie: Who?
Martha: The James Dean wannabe who Marla was flirting with our first day here. (points)
Angie: Oh. Him. He's cute.
Martha: Angie!
Angie: What? I'm just saying he's cute. (another cute senior boy walks by) Hey, you wanna be my homecoming date?
Boy: OK.
Chilton Academy
(We see Marla and Kayla sitting in class. Marla looks like she's going to be sick.)
Marla: I wanna go home.
Kayla: Home, like back to Pennsylvania? Or home like Lorelai and Rory's house?
Marla: I don't care, I just need to get out of here. Everyone's looking at me.
Kayla: Maybe it's because of the socks. If you weren't my best friend, I'd look at you with a weird look too.
Marla: (Bell rings) Thank GOD, lunch!
Kayla: (looks at her schedule as they walk out of the room) Not for me.
Marla: What? No. No, you have to have lunch with me. Besides Rory, Mike, and Casey, you're the only person I know here!
Kayla: I know! But please promise me you'll be OK and not burst into my next class, hollering, "Kayla, I can't do it anymore!"
Marla: "Do it." Ha ha. Dirty.
Kayla: (rolls eyes) See you. (walks away)
Marla: No! No, skip whatever class you have! Eat lunch with me! (Kayla is too far away.)
(We then cut to Marla getting out of the lunch line and looking for somewhere to sit. So far, no one.)
Rory: (appears) Hello stranger!
Marla: Ah! (looks over) Oh. It's you. Yay.
Rory: Come sit with me and Mike.
Marla: Mike?
Rory: Yeah. You know Mike. (starts to walk towards the table, but sees Marla not moving) C'mon I promise I won't bite, but I can't promise Mike won't.
Marla: I don't think I'll be able to sit with Mike.
Rory: (concerned) Why?
Marla: (hesitates) Well... erm... I... (whispers) have a crush on Mike.
Rory: Aww! How cute!
Marla: It's not cute!
Rory: You'd be so cute together.
Marla: You're not helping.
Rory: Mike's cute. Now I have a boyfriend, but if I didn't, I'd want to go out with him.
Marla: Stop saying "cute." (sighs) He wouldn't like me anyway.
Rory: And why not?
Marla: He's preppy. I'm not. Case closed. And I don't want to like him anyway.
Rory: Why not?
Marla: I like Blondie, he thinks it's the name of a Spice Girls clone band.
Rory: Please. I promise I'll make Jess let you hug him.
Marla: Thanks for the offer, but I'm not gonna hug Jess. I bug him.
Rory: (grabs Marla's wrist and starts pulling her to the table) You are going to sit with him and you're gonna like it!
Marla: I'm being kidnapped! Help! Someone! (they arrive at the table)
Mike: (looks up) Hey.
Marla: (kind of angry) Hey.
Rory: And now you sit. (Marla glares at Rory as she sits down.)
Mike: So how was your day so far?
Marla: Well, I didn't get in trouble for the accessories yet, but I did get in trouble in homeroom for listening to my iPod instead of listening to announcements. I also accidentally pushed a guy into the girls' bathroom while trying to open my locker, so I have a new enemy in a guy named Ted.
Mike: (laughs, then his face drops) Oh crap.
Marla: What? (turns around and looks. Mike ducks under the table as Paris marches over)
Paris: Hey Rory, who's your new friend?
Rory: This is Marla.
Marla: (puts up a hand) Hey. (Paris grabs her hand and looks at her rings) Um... see anything you like?
Paris: (looks at Marla's socks and shoes) Oh my God!
Marla: What? (ducks under the table, thinking Mike did something) Mike, are you doing something dirty!
Mike: (in a scared tone) No.
Marla: Then what the hell are you doing?
Mike: Hiding. From Paris.
Paris: (pulls Marla up) It's people like you who make Chilton look like a whorehouse!
Marla: How? My hemline's OK, my chest is covered up by the cardigan–
Paris: The accessories, Betsey Johnson. You are in violation of the dress code.
Marla: Well, sorry if I forgot. It's my first day here and what are you, the Fashion Police?
Paris: What's your name?
Marla: Rory just told you my name.
Paris: Well, I wanna hear it from you.
Marla: What, do you not believe Rory?
Paris: She may be covering for you, now speak.
Marla: Arf arf.
Paris: Very funny.
Marla: I thought so. I told Comedy Central to give me my own show. They said no and gave one to David Spade.
Paris: C'mon, grow up.
Marla: I'm not the one who's coming up to random people yelling at them for the way they're dressed.
Paris: Be afraid, kid. Be very afraid.
Marla: (sarcastically) You can see me shakin'. (Paris walks away. Mike pops up from the table. Marla turns to Rory) She's like Martha. Only Paris is a teddy bear compared to Martha.
Stars' Hollow High
(We see Eric walking to lunch. He sees a girl with long brown hair listening to an iPod mini and wearing a Fall Out Boy t-shirt. He goes up to her.)
Eric: Hey.
Girl: (looks up and takes an earphone off) Hey.
Eric: I'm Eric.
Girl: I'm Courtney.
Eric: So where are you headed?
Courtney: Lunch.
Eric: Me too. Can I walk with you?
Courtney: I sure hope you can. (Eric raises an eyebrow) I mean, yeah.
Meanwhile...
(We see Martha sit down in theater arts. There are a lot of people in the class. Jess is in the back row, reading Howl.)
Martha: What are you doing here?
Jess: (looks up) You again?
Martha: Yes me. I asked you a question, now you give me an answer.
Jess: Yes.
Martha: That's not what I asked!
Jess: Well that's what I answered.
Martha: What are you doing here? This is theater arts.
Jess: And I'm stuck in theater arts.
Martha: (shocked, heads back to her seat) I think I'm going to faint!
Jess: What are you cryin' about? (sarcastically) We can be buddies and you can bitch about Marla and I can sit here, telling you why you need to lighten up.
Martha: Oh yeah and you don't?
Jess: "Oh yeah, and you don't?" How middle school. (The bells rings and the teacher walks in.)
Miss Norman: Hello class, I'm Miss Norman and welcome to theater arts. Has anyone here performed in theater?
Martha: (raises hand) I've been in 328 plays since I was a fetus.
Miss Norman: Umm... so do you want a cookie for it?
Martha: (gets angry) Cookies have sugar and sugar turns into bubbling fat. I don't WANT to be fat!
Miss Norman: Umm... free period! (hides under desk)
Later...
(We see Marla and Kayla getting off the bus and running to Luke's.)
Marla: Luke!
Jess: (pops up from ducking behind counter) Not Luke.
Marla: Still! Please give me a cheeseburger or I will hug you and I know you don't want that.
Jess: (to Caesar) I need a cheeseburger and fries on the double.
Marla: (sits at the counter and rests her head down) GOD! I hate Chilton!
Kayla: Eh. I've gone to worse.
Marla: Like WHAT?
Kayla: Our old high school.
Marla: Good point.
Jess: (hands them both sodas) Yeah well Stars' Hollow High isn't exactly a barrel of fun, especially third block.
Kayla: What's third block?
Jess: Theater arts.
Marla: That actually sounds cool. Do you draw a theater?
Jess: I didn't finish. I have theater arts... with Martha.
Kayla: Egad! No wonder you're so moody.
Jess: (in a moody tone) I'm not moody. (gets himself a soda)
Marla: Yeah, you are. (lifts up her glass) Here's to school. May the anarchists take over and get the education system first.
Kayla: Here here!
(Chad and Lane enter, arguing about The White Stripes.)
Casey: They're brother and sister! They look alike!
Lane: No, they're ex-husband and wife! You only listen to them because the preppy little wannabe rockers do! You are NOT a true White Stripes follower!
Marla: What's going on?
Chad: We're talking about the White Stripes. I say they're brother and sister–
Lane: And I say they're ex-husband and wife.
Marla: They're ex-husband and wife. It even said so in Rolling Stone.
Lane: Yes! You owe me five bucks! (Chad hands her a five dollar bill.)
Jess: They're not husband and wife.
Marla: No they're not. They divorced.
Jess: They are brother and sister.
Marla: No they're not. It said it in print in Rolling Stone. They married in 1996 and got divorced in 2000.
Jess: (leans his arms on the edge of the counter) Well if they did, how come they're still playing together?
Marla: (leans into Jess's face) I don't know. I guess they're still buddies.
Jess: How many ex-spouses do you know even talk to each other, let alone play in a band?
Marla: I don't know. They're cool with each other, I guess.
Jess: You annoy me.
Marla: Then my work here is done.
Next time on I'll Take You To Heaven Tonight, Marla and Casey hang out in music class and they meet Tristan (gag), Kayla hangs out with Mike to see if he is worthy of Marla, Chad tries to impress Lane with his Whites Stripes trivia, Eric and Courtney talk about music, and Martha and Jess almost kill each other. And I promise it won't take me a month to get back!