"Sanji?"
"What."
"Can I come and talk to you?"
The blonde chef turned to the crack in the door. Usopp's nose was poking through the gap.
"I'm cooking. Can't you, ah…talk to Luffy or Zoro or something. They're never busy."
Usopp's brow furrowed.
"Yes they are! Zoro's sleeping, and Luffy's too excited about dinner to listen to me."
Sanji sighed heavily and loudly. Throwing his hat down on the counter, he turned round and leant back, facing the door.
"Alright, c'mon in. Vegetables are on the boil, so I don't have to do anything for a minute. Just make it snappy."
Usopp grinned and pushed the door open with a squeak, walked inside and found an upturned bucket to sit down on. Sanji stood, resting back lazily on the counter, gazing with bored expectance at Usopp's beaming countenance.
"Well? What is it?"
Slightly crushed by Sanji's visible irritation, Usopp cleared his throat nervously, and stared up determinedly, setting his face into hardened seriousness. Sanji had to suppress a choke of laughter. Usopp always looked hilarious when he was like that.
"Sanji."
"Yes…?"
Usopp faltered. Damn, why was this question so embarrassing? He didn't mind asking the others. Why was it so hard now? It was only Sanji…
"…Err…S-Sanji."
The chef rolled his eyes.
"Jeez, that's my name, don't wear it out."
Usopp clenched his fists.
"Do, um…do you think…"
"Speed it up! I'd like to get back to my cooking sometime this year."
"DoyouthinkI'mugly!" yelled Usopp, going crimson in the face.
"Do I…what now?"
Usopp took a deep breath, and looked up again determinedly.
"Sanji, do you think I'm ugly?"
The chef fidgeted awkwardly, going slightly pink under the black haired youth's expectant gaze.
"That's, uh…that's a weird question all of a sudden."
Usopp continued to stare avidly at him, all the time fretting inside his head. Oh God, he's not answering. It's true. I'm the ugliest guy in the world.
Sanji looked at him, a gentle furrow appearing on his brow. Man, this really means something to him. What should I say? Wait… what would Nami say?A picture of the red-haired girl fluttered hazily through his mind. For God's sake, Sanji, go back to your dumb cooking and leave me alone! Sanji flinched. Damn, that hurt. He took a breath, and looked at Usopp. Well, the guy was human, that was a start. But what next?
Holy crap, this was hard.
"Well, O.K, um…let's, uh… let's look at what's good about you, and then we can see if you're really, uh… ugly."
The cook finished his sentence weakly, feeling more and more stupid by the minute. Usopp's face brightened.
'Yeah, okay! You can go first."
Sanji tried his best not to make a worried whimper in the back of his throat. Shit! What if I say something wrong? He won't be able to live it down! He gulped, but then paused. Wait, why am I getting so worked up over this? It's only Usopp…
"Err, right…"
He pulled up a tiny-three legged stool, and dragged it near to where Usopp was seated. He smoothed his apron and sat down laboriously, wishing to God that the pots would boil over, giving him an excuse to get up and out of this damn awkward situation.
Usopp continued to smile brightly and expectantly. Wow, Sanji's being so nice today. Normally he's such an asshole. Maybe it's Nami's influence. But she usually pushes him away, so I guess that if Sanji were copying Nami, I wouldn't be sat here right now…so, maybe… Sanji is kinder than the others…?
Sanji looked up at him, finally comfortable, and went even pinker. Why does he have to smile like that all the time? Stupid dumbass is just making me more edgy. It's that damn Luffy's fault. Usopp's usually around with him, and he's permanently like that. But I guess if Usopp were anything like Luffy, then there wouldn't be food left in the pantry right now, and I'd be hurling his greedy butt out the door… so I guess Usopp isn't as annoying as everyone else…
'O.K., um…so, if we wanted to see if you were ugly, we'd have to look at your face."
"Yeah…?"
Usopp nodded vigorously, encouraging Sanji to continue. The blonde was completely stumped, flustered by the sniper's unwavering cheerfulness. He closed his eyes momentarily. C'mon, Sanji, pull yourself together. I don't know what the heck's gotten into you today, but just answer the guy's question and get him out of here!
Usopp continued to nod his head, wondering why on earth it was taking so long for his question to get answered. He'd expected a short, disinterested 'Yes' or, 'Of course you're ugly, Pinocchio, now get the hell out of my kitchen!" but he hadn't, so Usopp felt relieved. Suddenly, he felt Sanji's hand grab his chin.
"Hold still, dammit, your head's a blur! Now c'mon, let's get this over with!"
Usopp went a fetching beetroot colour. He held obediently still, transfixed at the chef's only (visible) blue eye, darting rapidly up and down, reading his features like a book. Not letting go of his chin, he began to speak.
"You have long eyelashes. Chicks dig that. You have a nice mouth, good shape… tanned skin, looks great…and, uh, black hair, I have no idea what's 'in' with the ladies at the moment, but curls look good on you."
Usopp wasn't quite sure if he could possibly go any redder at that moment, and was having trouble figuring out what was making him blush more- was it what Sanji had just said, or the fact that it was very hot in the kitchen all of a sudden, or the close proximity of their faces, or the fact that if Sanji leant any closer he would hear Usopp's heart hammering like a drum…
"And, uh…let's see…you have a well-toned body, not too scrawny, good arms, and long legs."
"I thought you were only looking at my face."
Usopp uttered this remark without realizing how embarrassed it would make Sanji. Sanji let go of his chin and leapt up, beginning to search irritably through his pockets for a packet of cigarettes. Usopp was at first slightly taken aback, but then turned to look up at the cook, who had turned scarlet and was muttering under his breath. Wow. Thought Usopp, wondering at the increasingly agitated form of the chef. I didn't think he'd say that. He pondered a little more, still staring at him. Sanji wasn't ugly. In fact, he couldn't see why Nami disliked him so much. Usopp cocked his head slightly to one side. No wonder Zoro always calls him 'angel'. Even if he is only taking the piss. Looking at him, the guy's practically a model. Glossy blonde hair, flopped boyishly over one eye- eyes that were blue as the sea on a sunny day. A thin, slightly upturned nose, and smooth, unchapped lips that wrapped casually over the end of his cigarette. Always sharply dressed, rarely a hair out of place…
Usopp smiled and rested his head in one hand. Sanji turned irritably to him.
"What are you smirking at? And dammit! I can't find my lighter."
Usopp smiled, clearly not listening.
"So…you don't think I'm…ugly?"
"…No." said Sanji, shortly.
Usopp let out a shout of laughter.
"Alright! I'm not ugly! I'm not ugly!"
Sanji found it difficult to suppress a smile, and pretended to continue fumbling for his light, trying to hide a crimson blush on his cheeks. To avoid any further embarrassment, he snapped his head up and returned to his surly manner.
"Well, I've answered your question, so leave already!"
Usopp leapt up happily, and spun on his heel to make for the door. Sanji watched him go to leave, and stood in thought for a second. Turning slightly to continue with his cooking, he said-
"Why the hell do you care so much about what I think, anyway?"
Usopp looked over his shoulder.
"I guess you know me better then anyone else on board. That's why I came to ask you."
Sanji continued peeling a potato, unaware he was shredding it into a smaller and smaller wedge. Something in his head liked what Usopp said, understood it. But something else wanted to push him away. He laughed airily.
"You're talking shit. You're acting like we think the same things and go round holding hands."
He snorted at the end of his sentence. Kicking himself, he knew in his head he was the one talking trash. Usopp, unfazed, opened the door, and stepped out a little into the sunlight. Sanji turned round, the breeze from the door filling the room with a fresh, clean feeling. Usopp looked back at him without turning his head, just watching him out the corner of his eye. Sanji stood, transfixed, hands numb in the sink of icy water. The breeze carried through the young man's jet black curls, smooth and glossy in the sunshine, the pure light surrounding his form with a soft halo. Sanji's eyes grew wider. Damn. He hissed in his head. Damn damn damn.
Usopp smiled knowingly, which made Sanji's heart do a somersault.
"Thanks for answering my question."
"Eh…no problem." He replied gruffly.
Usopp took another step forward, but hesitated, and said breezily-
"Oh, and by the way… I think you're cute, too."
Smiling, he left, clumping away happily down the deck, leaving the door swinging gently back and forth to a close.
Sanji stood motionless, eyes wide, mouth hanging open, completely unaware of the pots and pans that were boiling over onto the floor, and experiencing a warm sensation that had nothing to do with the heat of the kitchen.
End